Chapter 4. Still Hers…

She was only a girl.

Probably not even twenty yet, but she had the fight of a lion. I could tell that night at the pub when her eyes were filled with flames, challenging all who might cross her path. Maybe that was what made me step in between the man and her, slip the man a bill to buy another drink, and sent this girl on her merry way.

But when she had said she was a writer… when she had asked me for my inspiration. The girl had enough gall within her being, though it may seem she could fit behind a stick of bamboo and be completely concealed.

She was not gorgeous. There was no color to her, no curves one might see through her outfit, and no glorious voice to match that of my angel, yet she possessed her own beauty. I knew not what it was quite yet, but there was something within her that intrigued me, which was why I offered to see her again.

How her face had lit up at my suggestion, shown even within the shadows of that hood that hid her face from the world. It had put a smile to my face and given me a warmth I had not felt in so long, it was almost foreign to me.

"Wherever you go. Whatever you do. I will be right here waiting for you."

I had not meant to go and sing for her. Very rarely did I allow myself the pleasures of singing a tune for anyone, even myself, that I was just as dumbfounded as she when I heard my own voice leave my lips. I had not wanted to sing in ages… months… weeks… there was no point. My heart no longer sang its melody that my voice would accompany. My heart had died when Satine's had given up.

Then I had gone home that night and for the first time since I finished my own love story, I was able to write again. The words flowed out of me as easily as breathing might for anyone, and the next few days were spent on a stool with my typewriter, spinning tales and adventures like never before.

Maybe that was why I sent Toulouse out in pursuit of this girl. There was something about her which brought out the man I used to be, and I truly felt that I might have something worth living for once again. When she had entered my new refuge, tripping over my jacket in a lavender gypsy gown, the words that came spilled out before I could even think.

Expecting her to shout at me, curse me, glare at me with the same flames she sent those men at the pub, I was astonished when she had only laughed at me, calling me a ridiculous goose. The girl before me did not seem half as harsh, but rather possessing a elated, jovial aura about her, much different than who I had met a few days previous. But that only drew me to her more…

I did not know why I called her to me that day, nor did I know what I had planned. When I had her laughing and racing behind me as we left the city into the country, I felt I could run forever like this with her by my side. Her laughter was the sweetest melody I had heard in years.

The Great Wall indeed! I had never shown anyone that before. Toulouse and me had passed by it during an escapade around France, in an attempt to give me inspiration to write when I had lost it. When we had approached what I had deemed The Great Wall, I had suddenly seen it in new light. Sitting atop it now, it had a new beauty I had failed to notice before.

She had almost fallen. Grabbing her at the last moment, I could feel her going hot with mortification. I could not restrain myself when I released her arms and grabbed her face to stare at me. I wanted to explain myself, to tell her my name, to tell her everything, but I could only sing my new song for her, at which she grew frustrated with my "teasing".

Her voice! It was like a girl's. Nothing in comparison with some voices I had heard… my angel's… but her crisp tone, still high like a child's, was more pleasant to me than the scene before me on top of this wall in the country.

Satine's song… it would not have killed me half as much if she had sang any other song. But for her to go and use Satine's words… her dreams woven deep within the lyrics… I could not bear it. Satine was my everything, and the girl's song was a reminder that I was still Satine's.

And I always would be.