chapter one: daily doubts
Haruka dried her blond hair with a white towel while she entered Michiru's bedroom. The huge window was wide open and the bright sunlight shone through it, illuminating the white carpet; soft wind played with the curtains. Michiru went on tour to Hiroshima two weeks ago. This very day she would return. Haruka glanced at her watch. In about two hours her plane would land at the airport of Tokyo.
The young car racer walked over to the door and stepped out on the balcony. For some moments she leaned silently at the balustrade and stared over to the endless ocean that started right behind the house. It was a light and big house by the sea. And it was so peaceful. In every room you could hear the waves' rushing. They were so calming. Haruka liked to listen to them. Especially since that summer when they got to know their real mission. To find the talismans and save the world.
"Two years..." whispered the young car racer and closed her eyes. She opened her arms and concentrated on the wind that played with her body. Here she could be almost free. At least she could feel how it would be if she were as fast as the wind. This feeling increased when she was on her motorbike and speeded up.
It had now been for over two years that they both searched for the talismans. Her Michiru and she. Some months ago they had met Usagi and her friends. They became good friends very quickly, but they couldn't tell them the truth about their mission. None of the friendly girls knew that they were Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus, as well. That would be a danger too great for them. Michiru and Haruka liked them too much to threatened them. They didn't want them to be hurt by their mission. It was already hard enough this way - without them being involved.
It had also been for over two years now that Haruka moved into this light house near Tokyo. She got a room upstairs and was allowed to play the black piano that stood in the middle of the music room.
Allowed...
Haruka leaned harder against the balustrade and sighed silently.
I am not just allowed to play the piano, to drive her Ferrari or to plunder the fridge each time I have been too busy to eat at the race track. Michiru behaves as if everything in this house is mine, as well.
Actually they never argued about material things. They had argued about them only once. When Haruka accepted her destiny as Sailor Uranus and moved into the light house by the sea she had only been an athlete. A very good one, but she didn't earn enough money to start a career as car racer. Michiru financed it. She once said that she inherited so much from her parents that she would never be able to spend it in her life, anyway.
Haruka smiled as she remembered their argument over this topic. The young violinist only declared hotly that she couldn't imagine her life without her music and that it had been expensive enough until she got famous. Michiru declared determinedly that she wouldn't let her dreams die for the mission. Yes, the mission was supposed to be the most important thing in their lives, however, the senshi of the ocean wasn't ready to give up everything. She needed a counterweight. For her it was music. For Haruka it was racing a car.
Michiru said that evening that she would be her sponsor and so they never lost a word on this topic again.
Haruka opened her eyes and watched the sun set. The water shimmered in all shades of red and orange and the first stars appeared on the sky of a darker blue. Now she was a famous car racer - the best one in Japan. She already won the Grand Prix of Japan last winter.
Michiru...
Haruka stepped again into the room and put the small box down on the table. She tried to forget the man's words this afternoon. She tried to tell herself that they weren't important. She tried to lie to herself that they didn't hurt her. However, she knew they did.
After that encounter she didn't want to give the ear rings to her young violinist anymore. But now she only put them on the table. It would be a waste to throw them away. Not after she searched all of last week for such a gift.
And now I am not even sure if it's the right thing.
Haruka sighed and went downstairs. She would have enough time to make dinner before she would fetch up Michiru from the airport. This morning she had decided to make a simple salad after her toast burned black in the toaster during breakfast preparations. She wasn't born to be a cook. Sometimes she envied Makoto her talents.
Well, after all Michiru never complains about my cooking.
Haruka went over to the kitchen and opened the fridge to glance into diverse bowls.
Sure, because she is too friendly to tell me. But her face tells everything when I confuse salt and sugar...
Then she heard the telephone answering machine's deep and steady bleep. Haruka closed the fridge and went over to the living room. There she sat down on the comfortable couch and listened to the phone.
"Hi, Ruka. There were some complications in Hiroshima and I had to take a plane earlier. It arrives at seven o'clock. Don't worry, I'll wait. Bye."
"O shit!" Haruka leaped up and stumbled over the end of the carpet as she raced into her room to take the car keys. It was already eight o'clock. That meant that Michiru was already waiting for over an hour. If she hadn't take a taxi or a bus. She had more than once been so crazy to take the bus and walk the remaining twenty miles that separated the light house from the big city. Haruka didn't want her to walk all alone along the beach. Not at dusk and especially not at night.
Haruka threw the towel on her messed bed and changed her bathrobe quickly into short blue jeans and a wide white shirt. She stumbled over a pullover that was lying innocently next to the door and took it with her. Michiru never lost a word about her room, but Haruka knew all too well that it was a mess.
Well, I am not born to be the perfect housewife!
The young car racer jumped into the silver Ferrari and left the garage in a hurry and screeching wheels. While she speeded up she put on her sunglasses and glanced again at her watch. Ten past eight! She speeded up a little bit more and quickly crossed the speed limit.
Two years ago everything had changed in her life, and she was sure that it had been a change to the good side. She didn't quite understand their mission and wasn't sure if she was the best choice to be the senshi of the wind. She didn't know how to save the world even if they would actually find those talismans one day. But she knew that her life was better now than it had been two years ago, because now she wasn't alone any longer. She was never really alone with Michiru by her side.
Haruka turned on the radio to listen to the news as the Ferrari flew over the asphalt next to the beach.
It has now been for over two years that I love my Michi-chan...
Ten minutes later the car reached the inner city. Normally the drive would have taken about half an hour, at least.
She sat on the plastic chair and looked out of the open window. Wind played with her long sea green hair and her eyes were shut as she listened to the music that came out of the loudspeaker. In her hands she held a black violin case tight. One suitcase stood next to her on the ground.
Busy people passed by but she didn't even notice them. She wasn't disturbed by the cries of a baby or the loud words of a couple that argued next to her. All she listened to was the soft music played by a piano. The music was there to calm down the passengers who waited for their next plane.
A smile appeared on her face as she heard the familiar steps running upstairs. Taking two steps at once. Stumbling over the last one.
Michiru opened her eyes and raised in a sudden. Haruka almost crashed into her, but she could stop her race at the last moment. She breathed hard as she took Michiru's suitcase.
"Gomen, I am late."
"Don't worry, Ruka. I am early." Michiru smiled warmly as they left the airport.
"I didn't listen to the telephone when I got home. I only noticed your call at eight when I wanted to make dinner." Haruka threw the suitcase into the boot and opened the door for Michiru.
This white dress is fantastic.
The young car racer sat down behind the steering wheel and turned the car keys.
She really looks so beautiful...
"Now it's half past eight." Counted Michiru and her blue eyes looked angrily at the young woman. "Ruka! Don't you ever stop speeding? Normally it takes half an hour from our house to Tokyo and not just ten minutes! That's irresponsible! I said that I would wait!" However, the smile an her face betrayed her. She had never been really angry with her car racer. She simply could not be.
"Please forgive me." Pleaded Haruka while she speeded up. Quickly they reached Tokyo's outskirts. "As compensation, may I invite you to an Italian restaurant I know in this neighbourhood?"
"You just don't want to cook. Admit it!" Michiru giggled as Haruka made a face.
"Are you really that crazy about my cooking?" Haruka corrected her sunglasses and observed the street behind her in the rear view mirror.
"I would never want to miss one of your dinners, Ruka. But you know that I love spaghetti, with tomato sauce and a lot of cheese." Dreamed Michiru and her smile grew wider.
Haruka turned her head and glanced the now redden face of the senshi of the ocean. The wind played with the long sea green hair that felt like velvet. Her blue eyes shimmered happily and a charming smile that laid on her rosy lips.
I love you so much.
The young car racer sighed silently, then she parked the Ferrari near the green park she had visited this afternoon with Ami and Rei. Before she had found the ear rings she had discovered a small but cosy Italian restaurant.
"Let's get in." She said and left the car.
"Delicious." smiled Michiru and ate another fork full of spaghettis. Some red spots covered her white dress and her lips were redder than normal. "That's what I needed after the food in Hiroshima. The hotel was very nice and the fans fantastic, but they certainly couldn't cook." She told Haruka more about her tour and suddenly realized that the young car racer looked a little bit sadder than normal. The young woman tried to hide it and she was very good in hiding her feelings. However, she wasn't good enough to deceive her friend.
Normally she devours her pizza so fast that she's already finished before I even ate the half of my dinner.
But now Haruka only stole some mushrooms from her pizza and played with the knife and the melted cheese.
"... and then we had to take a plane earlier. I didn't had the chance to call you on time, because everything was so confusing." She finished her story about her exciting way home, but Haruka merely nodded and picked at her food.
"You aren't very hungry, are you?"
"No. I ate a big ice cream this afternoon. If you remember I told you yesterday on the phone that I wanted to go shopping with Ami and Rei."
"And Rei wanted her chocolate ice cream, right?" asked Michiru but she felt that this wasn't the only reason why the young car racer didn't want her pizza.
"Hai." Haruka drank from her cold soda and tried hard to forget the rude man's words.
"How many books bought Ami this time?"
"Ten, I guess." Haruka smiled as Michiru started to giggle.
"I like these girls. They are so different from us. So young. So careless. So free." She sighed deeply and ate another fork full of spaghettis. "I am very glad we've met them."
"Hai."
Michiru looked intently at her car racer for some moments then she concentrated on her dinner again. Finally she decided to give Haruka some more time to think about whatever she wanted to think about. So she talked about the concerts she gave and declared why she played some songs and why she avoided others.
After they finished their meal and paid they walked slowly through the park. It was already dark, but the street lamps gave them enough light.
The leaves of the trees rushed gently and Michiru could hear the noises of the wide sea she loved so much.
"There weren't any youma attacks while I've been away?" she finally asked and glanced at Haruka. The wind plucked at the white shirt she was wearing and the young violinist could see her female outlines. Normally Haruka wore a narrow bra so that you could hardly see her breasts. Together with her short blond hair and her male behaviour most of the people who didn't know Haruka thought that she was a man. That was what Minako and Usagi first thought. And they seemed to have been really disappointed when they realized that Haruka wasn't.
However, this evening she looked female. Her hair wasn't brushed into the right position and obviously she forgot her bra.
She must have been very busy to pick me up.
Michiru smiled and took a deep breath of the fresh air.
She's always so concerned about me, although she would never admit it. Somehow cute...
"No, not a single youma to be seen these past few days. And not a single hint of the talismans, neither." Said Haruka and stared straight forward.
"You don't sound very disappointed to me."
Haruka turned her head and looked deeply into her eyes.
"No, I am not." She wanted to say some more words, but then she just waved her hand helplessly stalked on. Michiru just followed her in silence. This was a topic they had discussed for several times. Both of them didn't want to find the talismans. Okay, they would save the world with them. However, both of them were scared about the price the had to pay, because they would kill the persons who owned the talisman by stealing it out of their hearts. And none of them was sure if they were able to hurt another person. An innocent person. Or even to kill them...
For about half an hour they strolled through the park. Silently they walked side by side, each of them deep their own thoughts. It was good to have the other one next beside. So none of them was really alone.
Quietly they decided to go back to the Ferrari and drive home. It was late at night and no one knew what would happen the next day. They didn't want to be too tired, because every next day could be the last day of their mission.
"What have you done?" asked Michiru in her calm but so loving voice and forced Haruka to stop next to the silver car in the bright street lamp light. Carefully she ran her left hand through Haruka's short blond hair and could see the sore skin. The young car racer winced but didn't turn away.
"Another fight, Ruka?" she whispered. "At the race track? Did anyone doubt that you could win, because you're just a weak woman?"
Haruka swallowed hard then she shook her head.
"No, it had only been a rude guy who tried to hurt Ami. But she's okay." She hurried to explain as she saw the worried expression on the young violinist's face. "Nothing important, really."
Michiru didn't believe her, but she knew that it would be senseless to ask more questions, to press on. Haruka never told more than she wanted to. The musician was the only one she trusted. Michiru got to know about the young car racer's fears and her sad childhood. More than any other knew.
Ruka needs her time to think about it. When she finds an answer to her questions she will tell me about it. Certainly.
Michiru smiled tenderly and took Haruka's cold hands into her own.
"You've always have to act like a hero, Ruka." She declared and giggled. "As long as you don't wear tights and a red dress..."
Dark green eyes met loving blue ones.
I love you, Michi-chan.
Just tell me, Ruka.
Time seemed to stop. The whole world seemed to stop existing. Only the two of them were left alone in their own silent world.
Loud steps on the parking space's asphalt the magic of the moment. Haruka was finally able to turn her head away from the smaller senshi's shinning eyes. She mustered the fat man who walked over to his car that was parked next to their Ferrari. He stared at them with that look Haruka hated so much. Slowly his dark eyes observed at first Michiru and then Haruka. As he realized that they both were women he made a face that told the car racer what he thought about them, about her, as well: Disgusting!
"Let's go home." Said Haruka suddenly coldly and released Michiru's hands. She missed the soft touch immediately, but she had no longer an excuse for holding them tight.
"Sure..." whispered Michiru and watched the man driving away. Thoughtfully she observed how the wind senshi climbed into the car and turned the keys. Loudly the motor started to life. Haruka switched on the radio. She only glanced up for some seconds then she lowered her head again as Michiru sat down next to her.
"Everything okay, Ruka?" she asked quietly as the Ferrari left the parking space and turned into the road that would lead them directly home.
"Hai. I am just tired."
Michiru nodded and turned her head to look at the endless ocean. The moon shone above and its pale image was reflected in silver sparkling waves.
They drove home in total silence.
Michiru laid her violin case carefully on the table in her bedroom. She froze in motion as she saw the flowers standing in a vase in the middle of the round table. White roses. Her favourite flowers.
The young woman leaned forward and smelled at them. A tender smile appeared on her face. She loved the sweet scent that filled the air.
So Haruka actually remembers that today is a special day.
Michiru discovered the small box and unwrapped it. She opened it while she stepped on the balcony. In the soft moon light she could see the sparkling diamonds, the silvery shinning dolphins.
"They're beautiful..." whispered the young musician as she held the ear rings against the pale light and turned them over in her hands.
Today was special. Today it had been two years ago Haruka moved into the light house and since that day Michiru hadn't been alone any longer.
Well, at least no longer all alone.
Sometimes it was not easy to live with her Haruka. Michiru tried hard to understand the young car racer, but Haruka was very good in hiding her feelings behind her impenetrable mask. However, there were a few moments when Michiru saw her Haruka how she actually was. When she didn't have to fight against rude men on the race track to win her race. When she didn't search as Sailor Uranus after the talismans. When she just laughed and made jokes. Indeed Haruka could be very happy. But these moments were rare. The time was very hard for them and often enough they fought against youmas and risked the lives of innocent people. People they probably knew. They probably liked very much...
Michiru sighed then she left her room and ran along the corridor.
I am very happy that Usagi didn't own a talisman. I don't know if I would have been able to steal it and in that very moment to kill her. Because I like her. She's a good friend.
The young violinist opened the door and entered noiselessly the young car racer's room. She wanted to thank her for the gifts, but Michiru saw in the weak moonlight that the messed bed was empty. Haruka wasn't in her room anymore.
The motorbike's noise filled the night and slowly died away as it reached the street and speeded up. Michiru put a small gift on the pillow and sighed deeply. Then she walked over to the open window and looked out to the near street. She could see the small light that vanished quickly on the dark horizon.
"So you were tired, Ruka. Weren't you?" asked Michiru sadly and closed her eyes as the soft night wind played with her long hair. In her right hand she held the ear rings tightly.
Haruka always seemed to be very strong, but Michiru knew that the young car racer wasn't. They both weren't strong. Sometimes the young musician wondered if they were even strong enough to complete their brutal mission. Often it seemed so senseless to them. Was it right to sacrifice one person for the whole world? Was it their right to decide who would survive and who should die? Did they have the strength to live on after that murder?
Tears shimmered in Michiru's eyes as she opened them again. They mirrored the moon's soft light.
I will survive. As long as Ruka is with me.
But the young violinist wasn't sure if the tomboy would stay after they would have found the talismans and saved the world. Or if she'd leave her…
Michiru left the room and slowly went back to her room.
The thought that Haruka would ever leave her was almost more worrying than all the fears she survived during the battles against dozens of youmas. However, at the same time the young violinist knew that her Ruka was too independent to stay.
Michiru wiped away the tears and entered determinedly her bathroom. Long she stared at her pale reflection in the mirror and asked herself quietly how she could behave so silly. Nevertheless, she did. She could not loner deny that she needed her Ruka. Not only to fight against brutal youmas. They had been living together now for two years. Ruka had become her best friend. She could talk to her about her thoughts and her fears. Ruka was always there when she was in trouble. Michiru smiled as she remembered the young car racer stumbling into the airport this evening. She seemed to be really concerned about her. Or had she just been concerned about her partner, the senshi of the ocean? Because it would be very hard for Haruka to search for the talismans on her own.
Michiru's smile faded as she observed her pale reflection. Tears were running down her cheeks again and she couldn't fight against her desperate sobs.
Two years ago her loneliness seemed to have ended. Now she wasn't sure if she hadn't just settled into another state of loneliness. Haruka hadn't even talked to her this evening although she had felt that something important had happened during the past weeks.
I thought she trusts me.
Michiru swallowed hard and picked up her body lotion with her trembling hand.
Ruka trusts no one.
She glanced once again at her pale face that looked ugly with all the tears and the sad expression in her tired eyes.
Not even me...
Michiru threw the lotion and the mirror shattered with a loud bang. Splinters fell on the soft carpet, but the young violinist didn't care about them. She stripped her dress and stepped under the shower. She closed her eyes as she felt the hot water on her cold skin.
She didn't admit it, but she was more afraid about losing her Ruka than finding the talismans and facing her destiny. If the young car racer would leave her after the mission, she would leave a great emptiness in Michiru's life. Her loneliness would be bigger than it had been two years ago. And Michiru wasn't sure if she would be able to live with it.
Michiru took a deep breath and let herself go. Surrounded by water she was in her element. No one could hurt her. In her own world she could leave all behind. All sorrows. All problems. All fears.
However, this time it was different. This time her thoughts stayed with her. For the first time she couldn't leave them behind.
She would never stay forever.
Would she?
The motorbike speeded up. Quickly it reached the speed limit and crossed it. The driving style looked dangerous as the young racer passed the road's next bend. From there you had a wonderful view over the coast. The way the young woman raced was indeed very dangerous. One mistake, one wrong motion and she would lose all control over the machine.
Haruka smiled under her helmet and kicked the accelerator a little bit harder. She loved this danger. This feeling of being completely free from this world. Here she could leave all her sorrows behind. Her fears. The destiny as Sailor Uranus she hated so much.
The wind tore violently at her motorbike and her clothes. She could feel it right on her skin under her wide shirt. It made her shiver. Yes, here she could be really free.
Haruka closed her eyes and let go of the handlebars. She opened her arms wide and enjoyed the life that ran through her body.
I am as fast as the wind.
The motorbike started to fling on the asphalt, but the young woman didn't care. She took a deep breath and even speeded up a little bit more until she reached the machine's limit.
When she was fast enough, maybe then she was able to escape the man's cruel words.
At the last moment Haruka took the handlebars and stopped the motorbike before it could crash the ground. It made a screeching sound as it skidded over the road. After a moment of silence Haruka jumped off and went over to the beach. There she sat down in the sand which was cold by now, in the middle of the night. She listened to the steady rushes of the ocean out there in the dark, lost deeply in her own thoughts.
You dyke!
Haruka brought her hands up to her ears but she couldn't stop the rude voice inside her head. It had followed her all evening. Again she saw that hateful look the fat man gave her at the parking space as she had hold Michiru's soft hands.
Again she saw the disappointment in her best friend's face when she hadn't been willing to talk about her problems. Michiru would never understand. Would she?
She's always so understanding. She accepts my passion to drive fast cars. She isn't offended by my male behaviour. She never loses a word about the mess that I call my room. She never complains about my terrible cooking. She just listens to my problems and tries to solve them.
Haruka sighed and laid back in the sand. Her eyes shone treacherously like tears as she glanced up to the sky that was covered with thousands of stars.
"Hai, Michi-chan is very understanding..." whispered the young car racer and swallowed hard. Then she covered her face with her cold hands.
But she's surely not so understanding to accept that I love her...
For almost an hour Haruka laid there. Motionless. In silence. She thought at the young violinist who declared her that she was Sailor Uranus. That her destiny would be the search of the talismans and the saving of the world. She remembered Michiru inviting her to live in her house that was too big for one person. For the first time in her life Haruka had have her own room. She got new clothes and the wonderful silver Ferrari's keys. She got the chance to start a career as a car racer. And she got the possibility to talk to a friendly young woman who listened to her. Who comforted her after she had told her about her sad childhood, had told it to anybody for the first time after her parents died. For the first time in her life, and surely for the last time.
Michiru gave her so much...
I got a friend. My best friend. My only friend...
Michiru gave her so much. It wasn't fair to thank her by telling her how she felt about her… in an unnatural way. That she loved her as a man was supposed to love a woman. A man, not a woman.
Haruka sighed and stood up quietly. She didn't want to lose her Michiru because of these wrong feelings, and she didn't want Michiru to be treated the rude way she was by other people. By other people who realized that she wasn't a man although she looked and behaved like one.
She's my only ray of light in this dark world.
Slowly Haruka went back to her motorbike and sat up.
What should I do without her?
The young car racer turned her motorbike and speeded up again. It was a question she couldn't answer, because all answers she found were too sad.
It was about five o'clock in the morning. It was almost dawn. The horizon already changed its colour of a light blue into a warm orange; the ocean started to glimmer.
Haruka woke up and remained silently in her bed while she tried to calm down her shivering body. Sweat covered her face and she run a trembling hand though her short and wet blond hair. Her yellow pyjamas felt also sticky and she wanted to take a shower as always when she tried to ignore her nightmares.
She reached over to the table next to her bed and switched on the light. For a long time she stared at the framed picture she found on her pillow as she returned home late at night. It showed herself sitting on a small wooden pony on the playground. Michiru sat behind her and had wrapped her arms around her waist. She looked over her shoulder and laughed happily into the camera.
We both are laughing...
They went to the playground with Usagi and the others about a month ago. It was a nice day and they had a lot of fun. The outer senshi almost forgot their dangerous mission and in a moment of happiness Rei took that picture.
Haruka couldn't take her eyes off the image of a happily laughing Michiru.
Why did she give it to me?
She didn't find an answer on this question, too.
At that moment she heard the violin's soft music that filled dawn's cool air. The melody was very sad and full of despair. It didn't stop at the end of the song. It just settled into the next one until it changed into a thought of melody. Dark notes in a strange order.
Haruka stood up and along the corridor to the room where the moaning melody was born. Quietly she opened the door and could see Michiru on the balcony. She stood in the corner. Her face was turned toward the endless ocean, but the young car racer knew that her eyes were closed.
"Michi-chan?" she whispered as she stepped on the balcony. The melody broke and left a bitter sweet aftertaste. The young musician spun around and Haruka could see the sparkling tears rolling down pale cheeks. Michiru put her instrument carefully down on the wide balustrade and slowly walked over to the young car racer. Without saying a word she wrapped her arms around Haruka's neck and pushed her hot face into the young woman's shoulder.
First, Haruka did not react, did not know what to do. Then she heard the silent sobs; and she felt the shaking that went through the slim body.
She's too slim.
The young car racer took her small musician into her arms and rocked her gently.
She has too many problems.
"You had this nightmare, too?" she asked quietly and felt how Michiru nodded against her shoulder. Silently she sighed and looked down at the trembling young woman in her strong arms. Carefully she stroked velvet hair, let her Michiru cry it all out. Tears shimmered in Haruka eyes, as well, but she fought them back successfully. She didn't want Michiru to see her cry. She didn't want her Michi-chan to be even more concerned than she already was. One of them had to be strong. To show that live carried on. Somehow. It always did. Haruka knew that too well...
We both have too many problems...
"Our enemies found a new victim. We should be there to see if they're lucky. If this victim owns a talisman in his heart..." Whispered Haruka and could feel how Michiru's arms squeezed her tighter as if she was the only life line in the talented musician's dark life.
"Ruka..." sobbed Michiru in a strange voice and coughed. "I don't know if I am able to..." Again her body shivered and more tears rolled over her cheeks.
"Neither do I, Michi-chan, but it's our mission, as you know. Otherwise the whole world is going to end. All people will die if we don't prevent the messiah of silence to be born."
"But one life for six million lives..." cried Michiru and raised her head to look straight into Haruka's also pale face. She could see the determined expression in her dark green eyes and knew what Haruka was about to say: the same words she always said in such a discussion.
"It's our destiny to complete this mission. We aren't asked if we're able to..." Haruka swallowed hard and turned her head to stare out to the endless ocean. The sea's steady rushes seemed to call her down. Externally.
"... to kill anyone. And no one asked if it's fair enough to sacrifice one person for the rest of the world. Well, at last it's not fair for that single person. But the rest of the people will survive. Usagi and her friends will survive. Although someone else has to die for this peace."
"That's no peace!" snapped Michiru in a suddenly icy voice. Haruka looked into her pale face again and could see the angry expression there.
She never argued after these inevitable words before.
"Just think of this person's family. Of their parents. Of their children. Of their lover..." Deep despair shone in slowly ceasing tears. Wind ran through long sea green hair and Haruka felt how Michiru pulled her nearer to hold her tighter.
"It's better for us not to think about it." Declared Haruka unfeeling. However, both of them knew that she was not unfeeling at all.
"But..."
"It's our mission and we have to complete it. The destiny of this world depends on us. We can't let this tragedy happen." Haruka wanted to return step back into the bedroom, but Michiru held her tighter. She didn't want her car racer to let go. And Haruka knew that she didn't want to leave her young violinist, neither. They needed each other. Without the other one they would have never come this far, alive.
"Besides it doesn't mean..."
"But I would never sacrifice one person for this bloody world if that person was you!" The scream interrupted the blonde's words. Green eyes grew wide and stared in disbelieve in desperate blue ones.
How did she mean it?
Please, don't leave me!
For some moments they stood on the balcony in silence, just watching each other. None of them dared to say a word. None of them knew what to say best. Finally Michiru lowered her head and leaned it against Haruka's chest. She could feel her breasts through the yellow pyjamas the young car racer preferred to wear to nightdresses. Michiru had actually never seen the senshi of the wind in a dress. Haruka already hated the costume she had to wear as Sailor Uranus and she would never voluntarily wear anything else than her blue jeans and her wide shirts.
However, it didn't matter to Michiru. She liked her tomboy, no matter what Haruka decided to wear.
"Hey, you know only a person with a pure heart owns a talisman. So you can't sacrifice me." tried Haruka to joke after some moments in stunned silence and was very glad that it was still too dark outside. Otherwise Michiru would have seen that the cool car racer had blushed deeply. She let off Michiru and finally stepped back into the bedroom.
"Better I'll care of the right invitations, so that we're able to attend the party before our enemies arrive there." She said and opened the door, but stopped as she heard the quiet voice behind her.
"R... Ruka?"
Haruka slowly turned her head and could see Michiru standing next to the untouched bed. She had protectively wrapped her arms around her slim waist. Her blue nightdress trembled in the wind that blew through the open balcony door. Or was it Michiru who trembled? Her hair fell over her shoulders and her face was hid in shadows. Unmoving she stared down at the soft carpet.
She looks so fragile...
"Hai?"
"Please..." Michiru swallowed hard and didn't look up. "Please stay for the rest of the night. I... I don't want to be alone after this horrible... nightmare..." The young violinist sighed and shook slightly her head. It was too much she asked for, especially from her independent car racer. She knew it.
Although she was prepared she had to wince as she heard the door being closed.
I am so silly to have asked!
Again Michiru sighed and suddenly froze in her thin nightdress. She knew that it was alike how much blankets she would use. She would be cold the coming hours until she had to get up. So Michiru shut her eyes and only stood there motionless. She didn't want to think about the next day. Maybe they would find one of the talismans. Maybe they would be forced to kill...
No I am not silly. I am jut so tired of this all.
Michiru's eyes flew open as she felt the soft blanket that suddenly covered her trembling body. She raised her head and looked straight into two green eyes. An expression shone in them which she'd never seen before. She couldn't explain. She couldn't define.
However, she wasn't afraid of it. On the contrary, she felt safe and secure as Haruka pulled her down on the soft bed and laid down next to her. Wordlessly she took one of Michiru's cold hands in her warm one and held it tightly.
"Are you cold?" asked the young car racer after a while they had only laid there in silence and had listened to the ocean's steady waves.
"No, not anymore. Arigato." Michiru closed her eyes and concentrated on the tender touch. Everything seemed to be less important as she settled into sleep. Yes, here she felt free. With her Ruka next by her side. No one could harm her as long as she wasn't alone.
No, I am not alone.
Michiru smiled as she entered dream's world and left all her problems behind.
Haruka squeezed the small hand gently and looked down at the senshi of the endless ocean. She didn't want to see her Michi-chan cry. She wanted to see her happy. To see her laughing all day. However, she knew she couldn't. Not as long as their mission continued.
And afterwards?
Haruka sighed slightly and laid her head back on the soft pillow.
I want to love her. But she deserves a better life. She shouldn't be called bad names by old intolerant men. She should bee free and not be bound at a sick person like me.
Haruka silently watched the ceiling while the sun rose. The room got brighter with every minute. Michiru next to her slept deep and tight. No more nightmares disturbed her dreams.
I don't want her to be called a dyke.
The car racer couldn't find any sleep during the rest of the night.