Oh no! I'm back! Thanks SO MUCH to everyone who reviewed. You guys are very motivational and I looove you. Please keep up the good work. ;)
And just a side note:
Princess Oats 435: Musical soul mates indeed! I'm so jealous, once again, that you got to see Phantom Planet! For free! And I'm loving that you're a Wilco fan! They're absolutely my favorite band and most people are like, "Who the hell is Wilco?" and then I cry. I saw then in concert last year—they were AMAZING! And I'm going again in 2 weeks and I'm beside myself. Anyways, sorry. Not that that is at all relevant. Or even interesting. But, yeah. I totally would have loved to witness the fiery hair crisis, it sounds highly entertaining. I hope you don't mind my saying that. ;) Thanks, once again, for the awesome review! ;)
So...here we go again. I'm not liking some parts of this. But...what can you do? (Appropriate response: "Well, you could edit...") Anyways. Please let me know what you think. I think that many of you will be happy with the gettings-on in chapter 10. Oh, sorry. Goings-on. (Yeah. That was a hint.) So...go to it! You rock! ;)
xoxo
Chapter 9: Salvation
Kirsten knocked sharply on Ryan's door the next morning, but couldn't do so without flashing back to the scene from yesterday. She shuddered as he called her inside.
"Hi, Ryan," she said. Her tone was bright but different, still, Ryan noticed. They had apparently not yet lived down yesterday's incident. "Do you know what today is?" He panicked, worrying that he was forgetting a birthday or an obscure holiday; the Cohens loved their holidays.
"Um...Tuesday?"
"Registration day," she explained. "School starts next week."
"Oh. Wow. I didn't even..."
"It feels weird," Kirsten agreed, smirking.
"Yeah. It does."
"But...we still need to get your schedule. Your books. And today's the day to do it. So...unless you have other plans..."
"No. Yeah. When are we going?"
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Kirsten had been quiet on the car ride there, but when they got to the schedule line she started to look nervous. Finally she turned to Ryan and anxiously asked,
"Should I pick up Seth's schedule? I mean...oh, god. What am I supposed to do?"
"Hello, Kirsten," the woman sitting at the table smiled. When had they gotten to the front of the line?
"Margaret, hi," Kirsten said. Ryan recognized her fake smile. "This is Ryan. Atwood. Um...A," Kirsten mumbled, nodding at him. The woman produced a card from one of the trays before her and handed it to Ryan.
"And where's your...other son today?" she asked curiously, studying Ryan. Kirsten froze, looking like she was going to be sick.
"He couldn't make it," Ryan supplied. "Seth Cohen."
"Of course." The woman handed over another card. "Good luck this year, young man. Kirsten, maybe I'll see you at parents' night?"
"Sure. Yes," Kirsten nodded quickly. She still looked a little unsteady so Ryan took her arm and guided her away.
"Are you okay?" he asked, once they were a safe distance from the schedule table. She nodded, taking a deep breath.
"I'm sorry...I had no idea that would be...so hard."
"It's okay," he said gently. "This is really strange."
"Thanks for covering for me. You shouldn't have to do that."
"No problem." She smiled, embarrassed.
"Okay. Well, why don't you go to the bookstore and start getting your stuff. I'm sure that's going to take awhile. I have to talk to Dr. Kim about Seth." She fished a credit card out of her wallet and handed it to him. "I'll meet you there in a little bit. This meeting shouldn't take too long." He nodded and watched her walk away. She was so different from the woman he had met a year ago. So different from the woman he had known basically up until a few days ago. Kirsten wasn't perfect. Her son was gone and her marriage was a wreck and she was miserable. How she still managed to look completely together was beyond him.
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Kirsten didn't get to kiss Jimmy. It wasn't fair. This lack of justice was what brought him to standing at the door of Rachel's office, deciding whether or not to knock. Suddenly the door flew open and Rachel yelped.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Oh, wow. I'm sorry. I was just about to knock," he said meekly . She studied him suspiciously.
"What do you want?"
"I wanted to talk," he replied. "See how you were doing."
"I'm going to make copies," she said, and started walking. He stood behind her, feeling stupid until she turned around. "That was an invitation for you to come along."
"Oh!" He jogged after her, suspecting that she was quickly thawing. "So, how're you doing?"
"I'm fine." She straightened her paper in the copy machine and smiled. "I would ask you how you are, but it's obvious that you're fighting with your wife."
"What...what do you mean?"
"Don't play dumb, Sandy," she said. "You do it too well naturally." He stared at her, withholding, and she let out an exasperated sigh. "You haven't spoken to me in four months. If you think I don't know that you asked to work independently, you're sorely mistaken. Suddenly you're waiting outside my door wanting to talk. I doubt that Kirsten would approve of that, so it's my suspicion that Kirsten doesn't know that you're here. It's my suspicion, actually, that not only does she not know...you're here to spite her."
"I just wanted to know how you were doing," Sandy replied flatly.
"Like I said, fine," Rachel said.
"You got plans for lunch?" he asked, and she shrugged.
"I could probably squeeze you in."
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"We filed a missing person report," Kirsten explained to a frowning Dr. Kim. "His letter insinuated that he would be coming back."
"He didn't say for sure?"
"No," Kirsten admitted. "But he said he was just going away for some time. Not...forever. I know how important school is to him. He has...you know, he has goals. And his friends are here. I just...I would like to know that there will be a space available for him when he comes back."
"If he does come back," Dr. Kim said.
"He will," Kirsten said firmly, though inside she was not nearly as sure.
"Well, I don't appreciate this. Admissions to Harbor are limited, and I hate to think of a potential new student being denied a spot because we're waiting for another to return from a long vacation. Seth understands how strict we are about attendance."
"Our family went through a series of...difficult events. We all had trouble coping emotionally. Seth, in particular. It's not that he doesn't care. We're all just dealing with a lot right now."
"I thought you haven't spoken to him," Dr. Kim said, sounding confused.
"I haven't."
"So how is it that you know he is feeling all of this?" Kirsten, feeling rather like Dr. Kim had just punched her, shifted in her seat.
"Because he's my son. I know him." Dr. Kim raised her eyes skeptically as she paged through Seth's file.
"He's an excellent student academically," she commented. "He's maintained almost a straight-A average throughout his three years here."
"He's very smart," Kirsten agreed. Dr. Kim sighed and closed the file.
"We can save him a spot."
"Oh, thank you, Dr. Kim. Sandy and I—and Seth, too—we all appreciate this."
"But he will be expected to completely catch up with all of his work. And I'm going to be keeping a very close eye on him."
"That sounds very reasonable."
"Again, we start out the school year on a very precarious foot," Dr. Kim smiled wryly.
"They're both good boys," Kirsten said.
"I don't doubt that." Dr. Kim stood up to shake Kirsten's hand. "Good luck, Kirsten."
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"So this little Pomeranian chewed up a plastic flower and this total nutcase sued its owner," Rachel said as they sat across from each other at a nearby restaurant. Their laughter was cut off by his cell phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey." He froze at the sound of Kirsten's voice and prayed to god that she wouldn't be able to sense Rachel through the phone. As ridiculous as it sounded, he was actually concerned about this possibility.
"Hi," he said, avoiding eye contact with Rachel.
"Sorry to bother you at work. I just wanted you to know that I had the meeting with Dr. Kim and she's going to let Seth come back."
"Oh, that's great."
"Okay. Well...I was just letting you know." This was painfully awkward.
"Thanks."
"Sure."
"Okay."
"Right. Bye." He listened to her hang up and then did so himself, facing a curious Rachel.
"That was an incredibly short and uncomfortable phone conversation."
"Kirsten," he explained.
"Ouch. I didn't know things were that bad."
"What do you mean?" he asked defensively.
"That was, like, excruciating to listen to." He hated himself for being so indecisive, but suddenly he was angry with Rachel, the woman he had wanted so badly to have lunch with. The woman he was almost considering having an affair with. All he could think about was Kirsten sitting alone in Dr. Kim's big office, getting interrogated and having to tell the cold woman personal things about their family. He felt awful. "What, did you, like, embarrass her at one of your cocktail parties? Knot your tie wrong?" She was messing around, he knew, and he forced a smile.
"Seth ran away. She's having a hard time." This shut her up.
"Oh, my god, Sandy. I didn't know."
"Don't worry about it." He stood up, putting some money down on the table. "I'm sorry to do this. I have...I have a meeting at one. Thanks for this, though. It was good to catch up."
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She spotted Summer through the swarm of kids in the school bookstore, and before she could move off in search of Ryan, Summer made her way over.
"Hi, Mrs. Cohen."
"Hey, Summer."
"Ryan's in line for his books," Summer explained, and Kirsten nodded.
"I guess I should probably get Seth's books," Kirsten said.
"Is he...?"
"No. Not yet."
"Oh." Kirsten felt foolish now, caught buying books for her potentially dead son, but Summer took Seth's schedule from her hands. "I'll help you." Yep. She had always liked Summer. They stopped for Seth's math book and Summer cleared her throat. "I wanted to apologize again for yesterday."
"It's okay, Summer."
"No, it's not. We weren't thinking. I was just really mad at Cohen and I wanted to do something that I knew would hurt him." She seemed to realize what she had just said and covered her mouth. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Cohen. I didn't mean..."
"I've never been angrier with him," Kirsten said, offering a sad smile. "It's hard."
"It was such a mean thing to do," Summer said as they moved on to the English section. "But at the same time I know that Cohen didn't do it to be mean."
"That still doesn't make it any easier, I know."
"You haven't heard anything from him?"
"Not since the note he left us."
"Do you think he's okay?"
"I don't know," she replied honestly. Summer nodded, looking downward. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine," Summer shrugged.
"I heard about Marissa. I'm sorry."
"Coop's needed help for awhile," Summer said quietly.
"Well, our door is always open. If you want to come over for dinner or to hang out with Ryan...or if you want to talk to someone about Seth. Stop by anytime." Summer smiled.
"Thanks, Mrs. Cohen."
So Jesus left you lonely
Feels like nothing's really holy
No one no one hears your calling
Falling, everything is falling
Do you feel alive?
Can you feel alive?
Do you feel alive?
Can you feel alive?
Try so hard just to speak to you
Nothing ever seems to come through
Circumstances on the breaking back
Try to sit down is a therapy
Oh, salvation
Oh, salvation
Do you feel alive?
Can you feel alive?
Do you feel alive?
Can you feel alive?
--Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, "Salvation"