My apologies to the character of Andromeda Black. In the previous chapter I implied that she was as evil as the rest of Sirius' family. Actually, she was Sirius' favourite cousin. Thanks mystic-angel5 for pointing that out.
Chapter Three- 'The God-Awful Truth Of It'
July 25/26
Sirius had no idea where to go. The sky was darkening and the tiniest pinpricks of stars were beginning to show.
And he still had no idea where he was going.
It began to grow cold. Bloody awful English bloody weather. It was supposed to be summer.
Above, the Dog-star showed in the velvet sky and yet Sirius, who at best had a hazy knowledge of astronomy, didn't know how it could help him. He started walking aimlessly in an attempt to keep warm. The straps of his rucksack began to rub his shoulders. How could he have known that clothes were so fucking heavy?
Perhaps it was chance, or perhaps it was just blind unfeeling fate. Sirius found himself standing outside the Leaky Cauldron. There were dim lights showing in the interior of the pub. Sirius opened the door and stepped into the warmth. A pair of old hags and a sharp-eyed young man with a small scar at the corner of his mouth watched him as he approached the bar. "What can I get you?" asked the barmaid.
"A firewhisky."
"You'll be lucky! How about a nice butterbeer or some pumpkin juice?" The woman behind the bar was laughing at him- actually laughing.
Sirius glared at her. "I'm-"
A heavy hand landed on Sirius' shoulder. "He's eighteen." The sharp-eyed man was standing behind Sirius. "I know him."
The barmaid squinted at the two of them. "You sure?"
"Aye."
And so it was that Sirius' first night away from home was spent in a pub, drinking firewhisky with a slightly scarred man called Tom; a man who became more and more attractive as Sirius became more and more drunk.
Remus stared through the glass panel of the hospital door.
His father had been ill for months. The weight had slowly but surely drained from his body, leaving only a skeleton and skin and pale blue eyes like globes. In his hospital bed, wrapped in white sheets like swaddling clothes, John Lupin almost looked angelic. His frail arms rested in his lap; spidery veins showed through translucent skin.
After each of his shallow breaths, there was a slight pause that seemed, somehow, to foretell a longer pause.
"Why didn't you tell me he was ill?" Remus asked. He turned to his mother, who was sobbing, making odd little bleating noises into a handkerchief. "He's been ill for seven months and you never told me." Remus wrapped his arms around his mother. "I wish I'd known."
Nancy Lupin buried her face into her son's neck. "And what exactly could you have done?"
July 27
The healer tapped Remus on the shoulder. "John would like to see you now," he said.
Remus nodded and rubbed his eyes with his knuckles. He followed the healer to the room where his father lay, flat on his back, staring at the ceiling with his glassy eyes.
"Hello, dad," Remus said. He pulled a chair up to his father's bed and - a little awkwardly - he encased his father's bony hand with his own. "How are you?"
John Lupin's face stretched into a hollow smile. "I've been better." He licked his lips. "I think I'm dying."
"Yes." Remus couldn't see any point in telling a lie.
"I don't mind dying so much," Mr Lupin said. "I have a few regrets, though."
"What do you regret?" Remus asked.
The hollow smile left his father's face. "Not getting to know you better."
"You can get to know me now. There's still time." Remus squeezed his father's hand. "Ask me anything," he said.
John raised his head a few inches from the pillow. "A secret for a secret. How about it, son?"
"Okay."
The head settled back on the pillow and John gave a small sigh. "Well, then. You can begin. My secret's pretty big; you might find it hard to equal."
And so it was that Remus told his dying father the one thing he had never dared tell anyone else: "I'm in love with another boy… Sirius Black. God, dad, I think he's beautiful."
John Lupin blinked his bulbous blue eyes a couple of times. "Oh," he said. "That is a big secret." His voice was quiet and croaky. "I don't suppose I really mind. It must be good to be in love with somebody."
"It is."
Remus didn't mention the small fact that Sirius would never love him back; that Sirius adored girls with tiny waists and long legs and DD-cup breasts.
It was a while before Remus' father spoke up again. His voice was faint now. "I was fifteen when I met Susan," he said. "She had this long golden hair, all wavy and soft."
"Yes?"
Mr Lupin turned his head to look at his son. "I'm going to die, Remus. If not today, then tomorrow. And I have to tell you before you go… You need to know about your half brother."
Remus let go of his father's hand and drew his chair backwards. "What?"
"I was only fifteen, Remus, when I got her pregnant. I didn't know what I was doing. Raul -that's your brother- is grown up now. He'll be thirty next month. I'd like you to meet him, perhaps, once I'm gone."
John Lupin started coughing. Remus propped him up for a moment and then let his father sink down into the pillow. "I'll say goodbye, son." He pressed a small piece of parchment into Remus' hand. "You can fetch Nancy. I don't want you to watch me die."
Remus left and fetched his mother, who was weeping hysterically.
For a while, he stayed standing in the corridor outside his father's room. He glanced at the piece of parchment. The blue ink was slightly smudged, the writing was a little shaky.
Dr. Raul Forster
Department Of Magical Disasters
International Wizarding Aid Organization
Ministry Of Magic
Remus closed his fist around the parchment. It crumpled in his hand and he let it fall to the floor.
He left the hospital and found himself standing on a busy London street. He looked around in surprise.
The day was warm. The sky was cloudless.
Tbc
A/N: Don't forget to leave a review!