Family
Author's Note: I wrote this a while ago, on the 23rd of October in the middle of the night. I never intended to actually post it. But I changed my mind when I heard that a large group of people in our Pep Band were turned in for drinking alcohol at a hockey game at which the Pep Band was performing. The majority of them were suspended, a few of them were my friends. This hurt us all deeply, mostly because those people may be kicked out of Pep Band permanently (cutting the band nearly in half), and some out of Marching Band as well. It also hurts our reputation as a band.
Anyway, read on, and review if you like.
It was my last season not being a Senior. The last time I wouldn't cry at the last rehearsal. The last time I wouldn't cry at the last performance.
But I cry now, as I have realized this all too late. I cry as I did at my fifth grade graduation, as I cried in the bathroom at the eight grade ball, as I cry when I think of everything I left behind in Georgia.
It's been the best year of my life so far. I've done things I never thought I would do. I've shown them all who I really am. I'm not the quiet bandie who can't seem to make up her mind between instruments. I'm not so innocent as I might seem. I have secrets, that no one will ever know, only because no one has ever asked. I have realized how much I have changed since I entered high school.
It was thrown in my face three days ago on Be-A-Marching-Bengal-Night by an eighth grader. She was introduced to the flutes by Lucas, because she was so shy. And as I stared at this quiet little girl, whose name I can't even remember, I couldn't help but think, She's just like I was.
This realization hit me like a rouge bass drum, if you'll pardon the expression. Band has changed me so much. I've made wonderful friends. Friends I'll have to say goodbye to next year, but I don't want to think about that. I need to live it up, while I can do so without too much worry. Hang on to sixteen as long as I can.
I hope that girl decides to join marching band next year, because I need to thank her. She made me realize how band really is a family. We stick together through everything: all the last place trophies, all the insults from the football team, all the ill-intended American Pie jokes thrown at us by non-band members. And when a fellow bandie turns to drugs or alcohol, we try to help them. I also need to tell her not be shy. To live it up, while she can. While she still has time.
I remember the first we played our instruments in band my Freshman year, I so wanted to switch from clarinet to baritone. I was tired of reeds, you see. I remember Matt Lydeen shooting Tic-Tacs through his trombone, and I thought he was the most immature kid I'd ever met. My Sophomore year, my friend Kaylin went out with him, and Carrie Ann and I would walk behind them at lunch and giggle. I walked by him once that year on the way to my math class, and he said my name in a sort of greeting. Then, my Junior year, I remember having a crush on him and not knowing why. I also remember how much it hurt when one of his friends told me that Matt didn't like me. I dunno, maybe it's karma.
Next year is my Senior year. My last year.I'm going todo my best to remember everything. Take pictures, maybe buy a camcorder. But most of all, I'm going tobe myself. It's the best I can do.
And dude, if I was mute, I would have said something.