Chapter 18: Edit the Sad Parts

When he heard that Caleb Nichol was calling for him on line four, he told his secretary to take a message.

"Mr. Cohen? He says it's important. About the baby?"

"What?"

"Mr. Nichol says that he has to talk to you about the baby."

"She finally told him..." he muttered, thinking of the conversation he'd had with Kirsten the week before in which she expressed concerns over telling her father that she was pregnant. He sighed, prepared to defend Kirsten, and picked up the phone. "So, Cal, have you called to give me your blessing? Or perhaps a detailed and hypocritical lecture on the rules of fatherhood?"

"Sandy...she's in the hospital." Suddenly his blood ran cold, that much he was sure of.

"What do you mean? Why? Is she okay?"

"You need to get down here."

"Caleb, tell me Kirsten is okay."

"She's okay. She's fine. You just need to get here right away, okay?" He was out of his office in seconds.

"Mr. Cohen, congratulations! I didn't know there was a baby!" his secretary said cheerfully.

"I have to go," he said. "I need you to cancel everything for me. I have to leave right now."

He nearly got himself killed on his way to the hospital, but he managed to get inside in one piece.

"I'm looking for my wife? Kirsten Cohen? I don't know...I mean...she's blonde and...I guess that's not relevant...I don't know why she's here and I need to find her because—"

"Sandy." Caleb's hand landed firmly on his shoulder and the receptionist he had just ambushed went calmly back to her paperwork.

"Where is she, Caleb? What's going on?"

"Come here, Sanford," Caleb said softly, guiding him onto an elevator.

"You damn well better tell me what the hell is going on, Caleb," he snapped. Caleb waited for the doors to slide shut, enclosing them in the small elevator, then he turned to Sandy and cleared his throat.

"She miscarried," he said, his voice gravelly. "I'm sorry, Sandy."

"Where is she?" He was trying not to cry, wishing to god that Caleb Nichol was not the one delivering him the news that his baby was dead.

"Room four-fifteen," Caleb said as the doors slid open again, releasing them to the fourth floor. Sandy took off down the hall. "Pull yourself together, Sanford," Caleb called after him. "She needs you." The numbers on the doors blurred as he ran past them, stopping directly in front of the closed four-fifteen. He took several deep breaths before entering the room. Caleb, he was sorry to admit, was right. Kirsten needed him. He pushed open the door and the tears that he had worked so hard to hold back filled his eyes again.

"You're here," she said quietly, and he saw that she was crying herself. He wrapped his arms around her, hating how frail she looked.

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry." She buried her face in his chest.

"I'm so glad you're here."

"Always, baby." He stroked her hair. "What happened?" He sat down, his arms still encircling her.

"I don't know. I passed out, and my dad found me and..." She drew in a shaky breath. "The doctor said it isn't uncommon this early."

"Were you in a lot of pain?"

"Not that I can remember."

"Thank god you're all right." He kissed her forehead. "Does Ryan know?"

"No."

"It's probably best that Caleb didn't field that one. He's not exactly Mr. Compassion," Sandy said, though he appreciated the dignity Caleb had displayed when breaking the news to him. "I'll call him when he gets out of school."

"I just feel so stupid. I'm so sorry, Sandy."

"You haven't done anything wrong, hon." She looked down at her hands and nodded slowly.

"Yes, I have."

"What do you mean?"

"I was under so much stress...and I drank, and I took sleeping pills and I created the worst possible environment for a baby. I killed it."

"No, honey, no. You couldn't have known. There's no way you could have known." He brushed her hair away from her face and looked her in the eye. "Things happen for a reason, sweetheart. Maybe the world could only handle one fantastic Nichol-Cohen collaboration, huh?"

"I was excited," she whispered.

"I know, honey, me too." Suddenly the door opened and a wide-eyed Ryan came in looking scared.

"Hey, kid." Sandy stood up. "Caleb called you?"

"Julie Cooper," Ryan said quietly.

"Thanks for coming, sweetie," Kirsten offered, brushing away tears.

"I...are you...okay?" She nodded, giving him a sad smile.

"I'm fine."

"I'm really sorry, Kirsten."

"Thank you, honey."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"I could use some company," she said, patting the empty spot on the bed on the side of her opposite Sandy. He inched over, lingering by the bed. "It's safe, I promise," she whispered, smiling. He gingerly sat down.

"She won't break. I practically assaulted her when I got here. The woman is made of steel," Sandy teased. Ryan smiled slightly and took this as an incentive to give Kirsten a hug. He was surprised at the strength of the embrace she returned, and how long it lasted. When she finally let go he saw that she was crying.

"Thank you for being here," she said earnestly, taking his hand.

"Of course," he replied, and she smiled. Ryan reached into his backpack and produced a skimpy bouquet of carnations. "Here. I wasn't sure...Julie told me you'd like these. Sorry they aren't more...attractive." She laughed, taking them.

"Thanks, Ryan." The door opened again and this time Caleb entered, glancing warily at Ryan.

"Kiki, how're you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she said, nodding.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No, thanks, Dad. Tell Julie thanks for picking up Ryan." Caleb raised an eyebrow and nodded slowly.

"I'll let her know." He turned to leave but paused. "Ryan, can I speak with you in the hall for a minute?" Kirsten looked at her father quizzically but he didn't respond. A wide-eyed Ryan trailed him into the hallway.

"What's going on, Mr. Nichol?"

"I know that you and I haven't exactly had the best of encounters since you've moved here," Caleb said gruffly. He didn't speak and Ryan nodded uncertainly.

"Yes, sir."

"I just wanted to thank you," he said. "Kirsten obviously cares a great deal for you and you're there for her. I know that things are difficult for her without Seth around, and I think you...you make her happy. So thank you." Caleb awkwardly offered his hand and Ryan cautiously reached out and shook.

"You're...welcome. Thank you, Mr. Nichol." Caleb forced a smile and nodded quickly.

"All right. Well...go in and see her. I know she's glad to have you here."