Wow. Okay, so basically I could not suck more and it's been FOREVER and you guys were all so awesome with the reviews...but here, finally, is another chapter. It has been an embarassingly long time and I apologize because you were all such fantastic reviewers. But school was beyond insane and it still sort of is, but I've put some things behind me and lifted some weights off of my shoulders, so to speak, and here it is. Please review...unless you hate me for being a degenerate. Which I understand. ;)

xoxo

She was sitting out by the pool at their hotel, inattentively flipping through Vogue. Things were slightly uncomfortable with Sandy now; the talk the night before was a long time coming and as intense as they had both anticipated. This morning he had woken up early, kissed her on the cheek and whispered,

"I'm going out for a bit. Go back to sleep." He had then called around noon to let her know that he was visiting some of his old law professors and wouldn't be back until late. "Is that okay?" he had asked.

"Yeah," she'd replied wearily.

"Have some fun. Go get a massage or something."

"Sure." But she didn't want a massage. She wanted to busy herself, fill her head with numbers or solemn text messages about property settlement. Anything to temporarily erase the fact that she had just lost one child and was fairly certain that Seth was gone, too. When her phone rang she had never been more eager to listen to her father whine about contractors.

"Kirsten Cohen."

"Hey, Kirsten. It's Ryan." She decided that this was definitely better than Caleb.

"Hi, sweetie! Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, it's fine. How's Berkeley?"

"It's nice," she said, mostly lying.

"Cool. What are you guys doing?"

"Actually, Sandy's meeting with some old teachers."

"And you?"

"I'm just...hanging out."

"Working?" Ryan asked accusingly.

"No!"

"Really?"

"I was just about to make some phone calls," she admitted. "But just...boring stuff."

"You should do something fun, Kirsten. That's what vacations are for. Why aren't you hanging out with Sandy?"

"We're just...having some alone time," she said unconvincingly.

"Are you guys okay?"

"Yeah. Fine. Just...grown-up stuff," she smiled as she reverted to an excuse she used to use with Seth all the time when he was little.

"Kirsten..." Ryan sounded offended.

"I'm just kidding, sweetie. It's fine. We just needed a little break from each other." Ryan's sigh alerted her that he was still skeptical. "What are you up to?" She brightly changed the subject.

"Just homework mainly." He seemed to hesitate.

"Something wrong?"

"I actually...I need some advice."

"Oh! Of course."

"I just thought...because you said that if I ever needed advice about, uh, girls, that I should ask you. But if now is a bad time..."

"No! Now's not a bad time at all. Try me."

"Marissa's back."

"Oh. Wow."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Well...that's...a complex situation." She considered it. "Have you talked to her?"

"No. Summer told me. She got here this afternoon."

"So she knows that you know she's back?" Ryan smiled; Kirsten sounded like a teenager.

"I guess."

"Huh."

"Huh?"

"I'm just...evaluating. I mean, this is ultimately up to you, obviously, sweetie. If you feel uncomfortable, you don't have to go see her..."

"I feel like there's more to that sentence."

"...but my guess is that she's really love to see you."

"And Julie Cooper?" Kirsten sighed.

"The in-laws. You forget sometimes."

"What am I supposed to do about her? I mean...she thinks that I'm the reason Marissa did it in the first place. I don't think she'll be too happy to see me."

"Honey, Sophie Cohen has never once been happy to see me."

"You don't think it's going to be...weird?"

"No, I didn't say that. I can almost promise you that it's going to be weird. But when you love someone...you do it anyways. You do stuff that might be awkward or painful or awful because after awhile it's not going to matter that you both felt uncomfortable.. In the long run all that will matter is the fact that you were there for each other."

"Wow. You're good at this." She laughed.

"I've been married for twenty years. Sandy and I have had plenty of...unnerving conversations. They end up being worth it, I promise."

"So I should go see her."

"Do you love her?"

"Yeah, I do," Ryan said quietly.

"Then I'd go for it."

"Thanks, Kirsten."

"Of course." She smiled. "Good luck."

"And, hey..."

"Yes?"

"Sandy's gonna come around."

He did come around, sort of, but not until seven that evening, when he called her.

"I've really enjoyed sitting around and waiting for you to call all day," she said, letting her irritation be known. She heard him sigh on the other end.

"I'm sorry, honey."

"This was supposed to be our weekend, Sandy. Something we did together."

"I promise you, it starts now."

"What do you mean?"

"Just you and me. Some romantic alone time. I'm pulling into the parking lot right now."

"Fine," she said dismally. "I'll be down in a minute." When she met him in the parking lot he got out to open her door for her.

"Hey, you." She managed a smile.

"Hey."

"Did you have anywhere in particular you wanted to go? Because I was thinking maybe we could head down to the beach. Open a bottle of wine, take a little walk?"

"Sure," she agreed quietly. "How was your day?"

"Good." He nodded vigorously. "I needed it. I needed to see the people who made me want to do what I do. A little reminder of twenty-five years ago. I miss my...passion, you know? Right now I've got experience and I've got money but my drive is missing. I just needed to remember why I became a lawyer."

"Did you?"

"Sort of," he said softly, looking away. "It's just...for me, back then, it was all about making something of myself. I was the punk from the Bronx and I wanted to show everyone that I could come out on top."

"And you have," Kirsten said kindly, touching his arm.

"That's the thing. I'm living in this dictionary definition of success and I'm the least happy that I've ever been." She was unsure of how to respond but he started talking again, letting her off the hook. "When I compare my life then to my life now...it's scary. I was driven and zealous and I had this amazing, crazy life defending these...erroneous kids. And now I'm a sellout who argues for wronged yacht owners. And I've lost a kid in the process."

"Oh, honey, you're not a sellout. I promise you." He smiled sadly at her and shook his head.

"It's not...I'm not looking for compliments. I'm just trying to explain. Maybe that's why that house means so much to me. Because it reminds me of when I used to like myself more." He pulled into the sandy parking lot near an expanse of beach and they got out of the car. He reached for her hand and they walked quietly onto the sand, along the shoreline.

"There's so much of yourself to like," Kirsten spoke up faintly, squeezing his hand. "I want you to be able to see that." She took a minute to collect her thoughts, then leaned slightly against him. "You aren't the same man I married. Not at all. But never once have I looked at any of those changes as flaws. You were a great man then and you still are now." She stopped him and took his other hand. "I don't care what you're doing or how much money you're making because your heart has always been in the same place." He wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned down to kiss her. She pulled back for a second and smiled at him. "I don't think I tell you this often enough...but I love you even more than the day I married you." He pulled her in for another kiss.

"Right back atcha."

"Hey, honey, you all set?" Sandy called to her the next day. She emerged from the bathroom wielding her blow-dryer and nodded.

"Do you mind if I drive?"

"Go for it. You rule the road." She rolled her eyes, smiling as they walked out to the car together.

"I just...have somewhere I need to stop before we go home."

"Okay," he agreed, climbing into the passenger seat. He was quiet until she pulled up in front of a familiar place. "You changed your mind about that ride on my swing?"

"Nope." Sandy scanned over their old lawn.

"The for sale sign's gone," he remarked.

"So it is," Kirsten said, fighting back a smile. They both climbed out of the car and evaluated from the parkway.

"You think the new owners would mind if I took one last swing?"

"I think that they would insist that it's not your last," Kirsten said, and he turned slowly to her.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I'm positive that the new owners would be perfectly happy with you being there."

"Because...?"

"Because we're the new owners." He froze, then let out a laugh of disbelief.

"But...honey, you said..."

"I was being selfish," she said quietly. "You said that this place reminds you of when you were happier." She flashed him a small smile. "And I couldn't in good faith let my husband walk around without any passion, could I?" He laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up.

"You are the most wonderful woman in the whole entire world, you know that?" She smiled.

"I figured it could be sort of a vacation home. We can spend weekends, holidays, whenever. Keep living in Newport, keep Ryan and Harbor. But...have it here. For whenever we want it."

"Talk about a great compromise," he breathed, grinning. She dangled a key out in front of him.

"Take the grand tour all over again?" He took her hand and they went inside together. Sandy stopped in the front hallway and wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his chin in her shoulder.

"Hey Kirsten?" She looked up at him, smiling.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."