Author: Stoicstella E-mail: Rating: R (definitely)
Summary: Since her mother married Naraku, Kagome bears the cross of her violent home life in silence. To whom could she turn anyway?
Author Notes: --I think I twisted the meaning of the lyrics this time... (is anyone reading them anyway?)
-- I skipped a reader response section this time, but if you asked me a question I did answer it at the bottom, and if I didn't... E-mail me and I will try to.
-- No footnotes... it's been awhile, huh?
-- I ran long! gasp I even cut out a scene I deemed unnecessary and still went about 500 words over my average, so you're getting your money's worth.
"" Spoken
'' thought
indicates a change of point of view within individual sections. (these will be pretty apparent though -- at least I should think)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Song lyrics belong to Staind.
Home
"I force myself through another day
Can't explain the way today just fell apart like everything
Right in my face
And I try to be the one
I can't accept this all because of you
I've had to walk away
From everything
I'm afraid to be alone
Afraid you'll leave me when I'm gone
I'm afraid to come back home "
Chapter 5: Back Home
Kagome had her eyes closed, riding in the back seat of the family car, (not the nice one Naraku drove himself to work in, but rather the one that her mother drove on a regular basis-- well as regularly as her mother drove; which wasn't often.) She was "looking" out the window at the passing scenery. Everything about the world was so totally bizarre right now, and Naraku was speeding. She could tell despite her eyes being closed that he was going too fast; The air in the car was thick with nervous tension, and Kagome could almost hear the whitening of her mothers knuckles. Telephone poles were gliding past the open window, announcing their arrival and departure with mini-wooshes of air that were over almost as soon as they had begun; Naraku was surely speeding.
She thought back to the hospital, the confrontation had been brief, almost nonexistent to the untrained eye. She had been lost in the safety of those golden orbs when suddenly they were removed from her scrutiny; she heard the growl raise in Sesshoumaru's throat, and Were he a dog he might have raised his hackles. Their two fierce personalties clashed, in midair, with a spectacular display of fire and ice. Well figuratively at any rate. It hadn't been much, but it was enough to make Naraku, well...
Kagome allowed her eyes to open ever so slightly as she glanced into the review mirror; the sun reflected from the windshield and onto Naraku's eyes making them appear to glow red. She felt her teeth catch her lip, tasting in seconds that familiar coppery taste, as she forced her lids to shut even tighter than before.
'angry' she understated to her battered brain. It was too weak to respond. No rush of painful memories, no reassuring thoughts, nothing at all in fact assaulted her. She just closed her eyes and listened to the telephone poles, nursing her self inflicted wound upon her lip with her tongue .
When they were home and standing in the driveway her mother turned and gave her a reassuring hug. It was a gentle hug, the kind that "minded her ribs" without being told, an apologetic, sympathetic, loving hug. It was a hug good-bye; she was going to the store.
"Are you sure you don't want anything, else?" she asked gently, as she released Kagome from the hug and turned to take the keys from her husband.
"..." Kagome opened her mouth to speak but found she couldn't trust it, and she would not be able to do much but sob if she didn't get control of herself. She simply shook her head no, and watched her mother climb behind the wheel.
Naraku had turned and entered the house, and she knew he expected her to follow. She longed very much to simply flag down her mother and beg to be permitted to come along, but she knew she would catch it worse if she didn't come in now. And for all the pain she had already suffered she didn't think she could handle "worse".
He was standing in the doorway with a tight grasp of the door when she walked through, afterwards he slammed it behind her and stood between she and it.
"So that's where you ran off to, huh? You little Slut." She could smell his breath and it made her weak. It was that same foul odor she tasted when she woke in the hospital, she suddenly remembered that right before she passed out he had pressed his lips to hers and she had wanted to wretch.
While Kagome Instinctively took a step back, he took two steps forward and elicited a gasp as he was almost upon her. His teeth were clenched tightly against the onslaught of his rage, and She swallowed the sob that was threatening to come out turning innocent and frightened eyes up toward his own.
"I saw the way he looked at you, you little whore! Gone off and shared his bed, like the dirty little slut you are?" She tried to step back again but he had a'hold of her hair. She wanted desperately to deny it, but it was true. She hadn't had sex with Sesshoumaru, but she had run to him last time, She had shared his bed, and She did like it when he looked at her the way he had. She always deserved this...
"No!" Kagome screamed, stepping away from him despite his grasp on her hair, wincing painfully but not pausing. The effort proved irrelevant because here she was once again against the wall.
"Oh?" he asked, allowing his voice to raise an octave in anger, "Now you're going to lie to my face as well? I'm going to teach you some manners, by god, I'm going to make you wish you were never born." She had not been able to defend herself properly in her current state and he already had her trapped in a very painful position. Her arms were pinned over her head, squishing her casted arm and causing unbelievable waves of pain in her ribs from the exertion of the stretch.
'I already wish I was never born' she thought as she closed her eyes, and hoped she would somehow disappear, marveling how in the course of less then an hour the thought of fading away that had frightened her so badly had become what she desperately longed for.
He was debating. It was true that he prided himself on not making mistakes, but that was only because he was not usually rash with his decisions. In fact he was never rash, and right now he was debating.
Sesshoumaru rested his forehead upon the oaken door and sighed quietly. It was obvious this was the necessary course of action, and his current indecisiveness was more on a count of nerves, then this being a really big impasse on his journey.
The debate was whether or not he should knock. He thought he should. Their car wasn't in the driveway, and he had sped all the way here. While he was fairly certain they were inside there was also a possibility that they were not.
'In which case the door would be locked, so it can't hurt to try the handle...'
He knew, as well though, that if they were in there, that Naraku would be more than "slightly miffed" if he were to just barge in and demand Kagome. And that's just what he intended to do.
His heart had sunk, when he watched her walk away; a realization began to plague him: if he allowed her to be taken back into that house he would never see her again, that possibly no one would, and now it occurred to him that while he was standing here with his forehead to the door and the knob in his hand that she could already be in serious trouble.
It was suddenly decided: good, bad or ugly, all this time, he had only been deluding himself. There was only one option all along; he turned the door knob and pushed the front door open.
There she was. His stomach turned when he saw her. She was lying on the floor in the entrance hall her eyes shut tight, her lips moving in a silent prayer, her arms hooked above her head with what could only be a belt. His eyes slid instantly from her weeping form to the man standing above her; he had not yet noticed Sesshoumaru's arrival, but he was about to.
Naraku's head made hard contact with the wall, and a curse fell from his mouth. When his eyes met Sesshoumaru's they were shocked, and then outraged, and he quickly tried to stand to defend himself. Sesshoumaru took one simple step backward to avoid being run into as Naraku again hit the floor, tripping over his own pants that he had forgotten were around his ankles. However Noticing these for the first time only encouraged a low growl from Sesshoumaru's throat as he brought back his leg, and landed a hard kick to Naraku's chest.
Naraku groaned a moment, before rolling away from the next assault. However he proved neither fast enough or agile enough to avoid the next blow, that landed on his face. More cursing, and a small amount of blood spray followed.
Sesshoumaru reached down and picked up the older man by his long black hair, dangling him in front of his face as he attempted to kick free of his binding blue jeans.
"You pathetic waste of human life." he heard come out of his own mouth. Although all he really wanted to do was rip out this freaks heart and feed it to him, he seemed to be berating him instead.
"I could kill you now, you know?" He whispered this as he slammed him hard into the wall rolling his eyes when Naraku sputtered and splattered some of the blood from his nose onto Sesshoumaru's white T-shirt. He continued to struggle unsuccessfully with his legs, but his eyes had all of the sudden become more afraid then angry.
"Put me down..." he started to demand, but Sesshoumaru slammed him into the wall yet again, cutting of the sentence completely.
"I believe you are confused about who is in charge here!" Sesshoumaru chided angrily. "It's not you... not anymore." He paused when he heard Kagome let out a choked sob. She was hurt, he didn't have time to enjoy this.
"Watch your back." He added as he removed his own belt dropping his grip on the hair to capture his hands, and tie Naraku at the wrists above his head. He turned to Kagome, trying to remove the offending leather article on her wrists with the utmost gentleness, but she still whimpered and sobbed. She was yet to open her eyes.
Naraku was yelling obscenities and trying to get into a standing position which was difficult with his hands tied over his head and his feet caught in his pants. Sesshoumaru returned him his full attention.
"You may learn yet, that it is not wise to challenge this Sesshoumaru..." he assured grabbing hold of the edge of Naraku's jeans and ripping them violently from his body "... but until then, let me assure you, I'll remind you as often as you need it." He finished his statement coldly as he attached Naraku's own belt to his ankles, trapping them hopelessly together.
Kagome hadn't moved, her arms were still over her head, crossed at the wrists, tears were streaming down her face, and her eyes were tightly closed. Sesshoumaru sighed. She was badly beaten, and she was an emotional wreck. He chided himself again, and again as he lifted her gently into his arms. He never should have allowed her to walk away.
She screamed, dropping the heavy grocery bags and rushing to his side. When she had pulled into the driveway and saw that the front door was opened she had felt very uneasy, but she never in a million years thought she would find her husband beaten and tied up in the entry way to her home.
"Naraku?" She cried, fumbling with the belt around his wrists, and finally managing to release his arms.
"Call the police..." his voice sounded hoarse from yelling and blood had dried on his lips and was now cracking and crusting as he spoke. "Kagome's boyfriend-- from the gang-- he broke in, beat me and kidnapped her. God knows what he is doing to her now!"
"I want you to open your eye's Kagome." he whispered. She flinched at the sound of her name, but made no other movement.
"I need you to look at me. I need you to be okay." He almost pleaded with her, but she didn't seem to want to respond. She was lying on the couch in the living room, silently crying and bleeding all over the white slip cover. She hadn't moved her arms, and she hadn't opened her eyes.
"He can't hurt you here." He whispered watching her face contort and move in an odd and somewhat anguished expression. Her silence was scaring him, and he knew that she was in serious danger, as she slipped deeper into shock.
Sesshoumaru, scooped her up again and took her up the stairs placing her gently into the shower stall and supporting her with his left arm, he turned on the cold shower. She screamed, a high blood curdling scream and he quickly turned it off, blood shot eyes turned to him, in surprise.
"My cast!" she demanded "You aren't supposed to get it wet!"
She was wearing Inuyasha's clothes this time. They fit her better, but they didn't smell like Sesshoumaru. Kagome sighed. Thoughts like that were the one's that made her sure Naraku had been right, about her and Sesshoumaru. But it didn't matter, he would never want anything to do with her now, because he knew. Sesshoumaru knew that Kagome was being punished, he had seen it, and now she could tell he wanted nothing to do with her. He had given her Inuyasha's clothes, tucked her into the bed in the guest room, and disappeared. At first she had slept, but it didn't last long, she couldn't quiet the voices in her mind.
'I can't be left alone with you, you scare me...' she told the sabotaging voice as she struggled to get out of bed.
He was standing in the hall. She had never seen such a sight. Sesshoumaru, proud and strong, leaning his shoulder and his temple against the wall and staring at the doorway in which she now stood.
"You're up?" his voice was strained slightly had it been anyone else she might have thought he was on the verge of tears, but not Sesshoumaru; he was probably just tired.
"I'm afraid to be alone." She whispered, taking a couple more steps toward him, as he nodded gently, righting himself and regaining his composure.
"Would you like something to eat?" He asked gently, allowing Kagome time to catch up to him before he started down the stairs. She smiled slightly.
"I don't think I could stomach your cooking right now..." He laughed. It was a strangely nervous laugh, which gave her the odd feeling that he was only humoring her and she perhaps disgusted him beyond words. It was extremely depressing.
"Don't worry..." he assured. "The house keeper is here today, and her food is occasionally edible."
Kagome smiled, as she followed him to the dining room, and was surprised to find Inuyasha sitting at the table, nervously poking and prodding at his meal and not eating. In the time that she had known Inu, however brief, she had never known him to not eat what was in front of him and consequently everyone else.
"Inu-chan!" She breathed out gleefully, "I didn't even know you were here." His head shot up, and a blush crept into his cheeks.
"Ya, I've been home since school let out. but Sesshoumaru wouldn't let me come in and see you." He stood up, still nervously glancing at his dinner but she didn't seem to take notice as she ran over to him hooking her arms around his waist in a friendly hug. Had she been able to see his cheeks from this angle she would have known they had gone bright crimson.
"Sit" Sesshoumaru commanded, and neither felt compelled to disobey. He had lead the house keeper to the table with a plate for Kagome, but he then began to walk away.
"Sesshoumaru!" She called out, hearing the note of panic in her own voice but not caring. "You aren't going to leave me, are you?" She was genuinely afraid that he would leave now, go back to the dorms, start living his life without her, and never pay her mind again.
He turned his head back to her, a look of surprise taking precedent amongst the other dozen hard to read expressions.
"No." he said softly.
"Oh," she replied, sighing in relief. "well, why aren't you eating?" she was biting her lip again, as she gazed at his form half paused in retreat. The house keeper looked up at him, wondering what he would say. He simply nodded to her so she proceeded back into the kitchen, presumably to get another plate for him.
"I will, I guess" he said calmly. Inuyasha's Jaw moved for a second, a look of bitter disbelief apparent in his features, but he didn't say what was apparently on his mind and soon the three were eating in awkward silence.
She had bruises, new ones on top of the healed. His eyes were drawn to a thumb print he could just make out on her thigh, as she leaned even farther over to look out the window; it made his mind ache. Every time he looked at Kagome he saw Naraku leering over her, that lustful look in his eyes, her lips moving in that silent prayer. He would sell his soul if he could just make that sight go away.
Sesshoumaru leaned in the doorway, watching the fragile girl. He was yet to make his presence known and she didn't seem to notice him standing there. He couldn't bring himself to comfort her anymore. All the words that he could say sounded so empty and pointless to him, all the words he had said, so fake. He had told her she was safe, told her he wouldn't let her fall, then he dropped her, and she was broken, yet again. There wasn't enough glue in the world to put her back together now; the cuts ran too deep, and some would never even be scars just festering open wounds. He sighed, drawing her attention, and eliciting a heart warming smile. She always looked happy to see him, even though he let her down.
"Sesshoumaru!" she smiled "It's snowing again; look." She pointed her index finger toward the window she had been considering, simultaneously adjusting her legs on the couch so that he could sit next to her and look out the window, as well. The bruise disappeared underneath the confines of her shorts.
"Isn't it beautiful?" she asked as the snowflakes glid silently in the darkening sky. Sesshoumaru's eyes fell on her face, filled with innocent wonder.
"Yes," he whispered, pulling a strand of her hair behind her ear, and drawing her attention to him again. Their eyes met. "...Beautiful."
There was chaos going on behind those stormy eyes. He couldn't tell what she was thinking, and had a feeling even she was having trouble deciding. The pink tinge was over coming her face however and she turned her gaze away. He was just reaching down to hook her chin, and bring her eyes back up to his own once again, when he heard a commotion from the entry hall.
First a knock, and then Inuyasha's loud voice, objecting to someone. Sesshoumaru stood to go see what was going on, and Kagome moved to follow, but he bid her stay, and she listened.
"What's going on in here." Sesshoumaru said, with a chilly calm, and commanding voice, seeing the police officers trying to physically bypass his brother who had planted himself firmly in the doorway. Inuyasha turned to face him, allowing the two men to step into the doorway, but they made no move to come farther, as they eyed Sesshoumaru, cautiously.
"They say they're here for Kagome, and... and you." he said looking at the floor. Ever since he had lectured Inuyasha for being so blind, essentially taking his own frustration out on his brother, Inuyasha had been timid, embarrassed and downright guilty when it came to all matters of Kagome, especially those that involved Sesshoumaru's "rescue".
"I see." Said Sesshoumaru, being careful not to reveal anything in the tone of his voice. "What would you like with us."
"Is she here." asked the shorter of the two officers, timidly looking up at Sesshoumaru with a nervous apprehension. He probably had seen what Naraku had looked like and was surprised by the lack of marks on the younger man.
"She is." he replied calmly gesturing toward the room he had just exited.
"May we speak with her", said the taller, in a business like tone. Both officers demonstrated an attitude of inexperience in this department.
"If she wishes..." he replied shoving his arm up to block the door from the smaller man who tried to enter. "and only if she wishes..."
He knew she would be listening, standing just inside the doorway cowering from the unwanted visitors. He knew she would tell them nothing. She made it exceedingly difficult to protect her.
"Kagome." he said softly, his voice more soothing then he ever allowed it to get with anyone else.
"I can't" she squeaked from just inside the room, and her voice was shaking slightly. He turned his eyes to the police officers and gave them a nod as if to say 'no thanks, she says we don't want any.' But the officer refused to relent.
"Come on out here sweetheart, we're here to help." Said the shorter man, eyeing Sesshoumaru as he did so. Seconds later Kagome was leaning on the door frame, an inch or so behind Sesshoumaru's protective form. The two police officers visibly reacted to her beaten state, both obviously considering Sesshoumaru a violent menace. He fought an urge to roll his eyes.
"All right sweetheart," the taller, spoke up. "We're going need to take your statement."
"...and after." Inuyasha asked, suddenly uneasy at the way they were staring at his brother so maliciously. The shorter turned and addressed him.
"She goes home, and he goes to jail. Her father is pressing charges." Kagome's eyes went suddenly wide as Sesshoumaru moved to stand between her and the police; she began crying into her hands. Wild thoughts began to go through Sesshoumaru's head and he couldn't sort them fast enough. Things had not gone the way that they were meant to, not at all.
And his choice of movement also proved ill advised, because the officers apparently found it threatening. Before he knew what hit him, he was face first in the carpet and being fitted with cuffs.
"Don't worry sweetheart" the little officer said, "he can't hurt you any longer." Tears were pouring down her face as Sesshoumaru forced his own face out of the carpet.
"Look into her eyes." he scathed "and then, you tell me that I'm the one she's afraid of."