Author: Stoicstella E-mail: Rating: R (definitely)
Summary: Since her mother married Naraku, Kagome bears the cross of her violent home life in silence. To whom could she turn anyway?
Author Notes: I'd apologize more but it would seem so empty. I have been going through a spot of financial trouble and also in a bizarre twist of Fate (or perhaps my own Karma biting me on the ass) I find myself enthralled in the wicked grasps of Carpal tunnel syndrome. So typing at times is slow and painful work... but Fear not, when you're this far down there is nowhere to go but up... Right?
"" Spoken
'' thought
indicates a change of point of view within individual sections. (these will be pretty apparent though -- at least I should think)
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Song lyrics belong to Fiona Apple.
The Child Is Gone
"'Cuz I suddenly feel like a different person
From the roots of my soul come a gentle coercion
And I ran my hand o'er a strange inversion
A vacancy that just did not belong
The child is gone "
Chapter 7: The Child Is Gone
He came out of his trance when he heard his wife on the stairs and turned his head away from the long since cold cup of coffee and to his wife's worried gaze.
"Tom? are you all right?" She asked, lingering on the last step in the hall.
"Ya, I'm fine" Detective Tarakeichi replied with a sigh as he stood from his spot at the kitchen table to pour the wasted drink down the drain. "Just thinking."
He kept his eyes on the brown liquid swirling slowly away even as he heard her sigh, and her feet padding softly across the rug. "You should get some rest." she murmured as she wrapped her arms around his chest and laid her cheek gently against his back.
"I know" He replied wrapping his arms around hers and reciprocating the hug. "but I can't get this case out of my mind." He closed his eyes for a second only to find those hurt gray-blue pools from earlier that day still there. Her words had been playing in his head every second he wasn't distracting himself with something else. The scene playing back was already haunting him: her head down, her feet sliding across the carpet following her parents out the station house door. Already peace eluded him and it had only been several hours, he was sure he couldn't live with a lifetime of this kind of regret.
"I need to do something with myself, I can't sit still." He let the words fall from his mouth quietly as his eyes popped open again and he pulled himself regrettably from the hug leaving his wife leaning against the kitchen counter as he made his way to the hall closet.
"Toma, where are you going?" She asked, her voice suddenly laced with a slight worry.
"Out" He replied roughly, before turning to her with a softer apologetic expression. Moving back into the kitchen his coat in hand he gave her a soft peck on the lips.
"Go to bed sweetheart; I'll be back."
Sesshoumaru's ears were ringing. As if it wasn't bad enough that a large portion of his day was spent unavoidably talking to stupid people, he had also to endure a long lecture from his father about embarrassing the family name with his actions. A large sigh escaped the thin line of his lips, as he took another sip from the wine glass at his side.
At the time his actions had seemed so obvious, and just. Walking in on a scene like that his reaction was normal, justified, even expected. According to his father however, it was unacceptable.
His thoughts turned back to the moment when Kagome's door opened and revealed the scene within. Inside his mind he tried to force himself to react differently, but he couldn't. No matter how much they or even he himself, tried to convince him that what he had done was wrong, he was sure it was his only option.
Sesshoumaru idly turned his head in the direction of approaching headlights, when the car turned into his driveway he turned away with little more concern than if it had gone right by. Most likely the vehicle belonged to a business associate of his father. Sesshoumaru had been released into his father's custody pending a hearing which left him obliged to do his work out of the house. All day the house had been bustling with one intern idiot after another.
From the second floor balcony his ears pricked up listening to the sound of a sharp knock, followed by footsteps moving to answer it. The sound of voices permeated up from the open door below, but when the guest entered all fell silent.
Sesshoumaru leaned back briefly to steal a last glance at the top of the house down the block. A view obscured by hedge, house, and fence alike left much to the imagination, which was really the last thing Sesshoumaru needed right now. Even though everything seemed dark and still down at her end of the world he wondered where Kagome was and what she was thinking. He pictured her sitting in some dank interrogation room somewhere, and the whole ordeal began to make him sick to his stomach.
He was just starting to stand from his balcony seat when Inuyasha's brash voice rose to his ears. One paper thin eyebrow slid up by a half degree, and despite his best attempts to avoid it, his heart skipped slightly. His mind unavoidably skipping point a and B and racing to Kagome.
Stepping out onto the landing however all hope was again quelled and replaced with the dark resentment he reserved for things that happened in his life over which he had no control. Changing his weight slightly Sesshoumaru eyed the detective with distrust. He was seeing entirely to much of Tokyo's finest today.
"What can I do for you Detective?" Sesshoumaru began, startling the older man's attention to his position above him "I was expecting I would see you again but I didn't think it would be so soon."
The same middle aged detective he had seen earlier that day now stood in his entryway clearing his throat and scuffing his right toe against his left shoe like a nervous kid. When he raised his eyes to meet Sesshoumaru's a lingering guilt Sesshoumaru had not before noticed surfaced there momentarily.
"Take the man's coat, Inuyasha, show some class." Sesshoumaru said blankly to his baffled brother who was still standing in the door way next to detective Tarakeichi. With a gesture of his hand he signaled for the detective to follow him into the adjoining room before calmly walking there himself, ignoring his brothers indignant grunt. There was something unsettling about this visit, and he just wasn't sure what.
"I got an unsettled mind, not to mention stomach, about this whole ordeal. I need something from someone to make this guy go away, and she just isn't giving it to me." The older man began gruffly as the two sank into easy chairs across from one another. His eyes were still basically trained on his feet. "I know you're probably all talked out about this, but I need help on this thing."
Sesshoumaru leaned slowly forward inhaling a forced breath through his slightly parted lips. His mind had already begun to replay the scene before he could even begin to speak.
"You saw her at her worst you know." he began, as the thought rocketed suddenly into his mind. His eyes remained trained on a spot on the floor just in front of him, all the while he spoke.
"Sometimes she can seem so happy and carefree. She would just sit there with me and talk, and smile, and sometimes even laugh, you know. All the while though, I could see it... her innocence slowly slipping away. Especially right after she..." at this he paused looking for the right word, but instead forgot the sentence all together. feeling he'd said enough already.
"Sometimes I wonder what she was like before... before Matsushita I mean." Sesshoumaru chuckled morosely, as he glanced up at his silent companion, the detective was chewing his lower lip nervously and averting Sesshoumaru's gaze.
"I don't understand her." the detective suddenly announced his voice thick with sorrowful anger. "I sat there and offered her freedom, I offered her god damned salvation on a silver platter and she wouldn't move an inch." He placed his face in his hands, and let out a frustrated groan. "I can't live with her blood on my hands."
"What's that supposed to mean." Sesshoumaru asked with mild annoyance, This man had a certain weakness of character that disgusted him.
"I didn't have a choice in the matter, you know. I mean I can only do so much."
"What are you blabbering about?" Sesshoumaru said making his aggravation apparent in his voice.
"The girl. I had to send her home..."
"You bastard." Sesshoumaru whispered through clenched teeth. "I could've protected her. She was safe here with me, you know." He yelled from his new position standing above his overturned easy chair with his back turned away from his startled guest. After taking a deep breath Sesshoumaru calmly lifted his head and turned his accusatory eyes on the detective. His voice had become cold and angry and his eyes lost any sign of forgiveness or understanding they may have ever held.
"Why didn't you let me protect her, you obviously can't"
The clock that was hanging on the other side of the room ticked at a soft and patient pace. It didn't care for her plight. Time had not, as it seemed, stopped for her. The clock kept ticking, mocking her unmoving form and wilting consciousness. Something deep within her mind ached, and somehow she couldn't remember what had brought it on. Her mind struggled to get control.
Tick tick tick
For some reason she was thinking of her wedding day. Kagome was radiantly smiling out of the mirror at her while standing at her back pulling loose strands of hair to a graceful bun under her delicate veil.
Tick tick tick
Somewhere along the line that portrait of her happy daughter, and dream life began to fade away. But she didn't seem to notice when the lines started to blur, or the paint started to run. It took one huge crash to shatter it for her, and the real ugliness beneath to become clear
Tick tick tick
Mrs. Matsushita shrugged with her memories for a second looking for the one that would remind her why her vision was blurry, why there was blood in her eyes.
'I'm forgetting Something again... He lied to me, I trusted him before her... trusted him with our lives... and, and then...' A choked cry and a sob reached her silence filled ears as a sudden ache surged throughout her entire body from her brain to her toes. An image had finally flashed back to her mind.
'His fists were like concrete -- Why wouldn't he stop hitting me? -- I trusted him.' words were overlapping over each other in her brain as it all came rushing back.
The former Mrs. Higurashi forced her ears to strain for any more sound from the other rooms whilst her chapped lips parted slightly in an effort to force a sticky whisper from her swollen throat.
"Kagome?"
"The first day I saw you I knew you would be trouble. That no amount of trying could ever teach you to be better. But I tried, Kami help me I put forth the effort. I let you live in my house, let things slide so often, punished you only when you were at your worst. I was always too easy on you that's what it is." His words were so loud and abrasive that Kagome felt if she leaned even the slightest inch forward she would be able to smell the sour stink of his breath.
While the darkness of the closet swallowed up the distance between them feet became no more then inches. In her mind he was hovering over her holding her to the spot, not pounding on one of the two doors that lay between he and her.
Kagome took in her third deep breath, praying to every god the moment gave her time to. This was it, she knew there was no time left for indecision. She had to make a choice and that choice would dictate the rest of her life. Mainly whether or not she would have one.
Kagome noticed a thin sheen of sweat on the doorknob, where her clammy palm stuck. The cold metal held no reassurance, she knew the door could not withstand her stepfathers intrusion. She let the closet door slide open a fraction of an inch just in time to witness the topmost hinge on the bedroom door pop free. Soon the others would follow.
'Oh Kami, I don't want to die, I'll be good, I'll behave, I won't...' A sob escaped as Kagome saw the second hinge begin to bend and snap, surely the door would break the bottom most hinge on it's own, crumbling under his force, like so many other things in her life had done.
Kagome's mind went suddenly blank. She always thought about one thing or another and it pulled her through, but now suddenly nothing would come. For an instant all she could feel were the electric impulses that made up the movements in her body as she turned like a trapped animal and relied solely on primal instincts. With no more time to hide, she ran for her life.
She paused on the brink of leaping one knee gingerly resting on the windowsill. Everything she had ever been taught told her that it was a bad idea to jump from a third story window, but common sense was losing the battle of wills with her reasonable fear. One last deep breath filled her chest with hope and her body surged forward, just as the door behind her burst open with a slam.
For a millisecond the most distinct weightless, painless freedom of Kagome's young life surrounded and engulfed her... and then the weight of her fall hit her ankle, which snapped under the pressure. Kagome rolled off it instantly, barely realizing she was screaming until she had to stop to take a breath, the pain was unreal.
Her eyes went round, shock clouding her anguish as her tear blurred vision shot quickly from her shattered ankle to the window at which her enraged stepfather stood. Then she began to crawl, her desperate voices in her head returning to the fray egging her on and discouraging her all at once. Her body moved forward like a machine, her fingernails digging into the hardened ground and dragging her forward through the agony.
'All I have to do is get to the end of the yard... I can already see the road, I'm almost safe, I'm almost free.' A mantra of self preservation started playing in her head and drowned out all other thoughts, voices, and pain.
Sesshoumaru was already out the door before his informant could stand up, he had never had so much reason to run, and yet his knees were wobbling above his straining calves. For every fear that pushed him forward there were three that wanted him to stop, but none that were strong enough to win in the seconds it took him to reach the sprawling lawn of Matsushita Naraku.
It hurt. He had to close his eyes for a second just to remember to breathe, and he rarely lost his composure. He prayed to every god he thought would listen that when he opened them again, he would have been mistaken. For the first time in his entire life he wanted nothing more than to have been wrong, but when he slowly unlidded his eyes and refocused on the broken body mere feet away from where he stood, he swiftly decided that there were no gods.
Sesshoumaru forced his eyes away from Kagome's lifeless, bloodied face and focused his anger on the attacker, watching him from his position astride her motionless form. Naraku's lips were locked in a sneer, his eyes were cold and merciless, and his hand held a kitchen knife pressed firmly to the tender skin covering Kagome's windpipe.
"I've been expecting you for some reason." Naraku's voice called out scathingly "someone always seems to show up at this point." His lip twitched slightly in what might have been anger, although his manner remained strangely calm.
Sesshoumaru's feet were frozen to the spot, his mind wouldn't stop jumping from half formed thought to hopeless plan but everything screeched to a halt when Kagome's lips parted slightly and he knew for sure she was alive, though part of her was lost.
"No matter" Naraku continued. Unaware of his enemies thought process. "You can watch." Sesshoumaru's feet inched forward slightly.
"Stop" Naraku warned in a cold tone pressing the knife still harder into the delicate neck of the unconscious teen. "She's as good to me dead as she is alive, stay where you are if you don't feel the same." No sooner had the words left his lips when his attention was turned slightly behind Sesshoumaru to the sound of a slamming car door. Sesshoumaru fought the urge to turn his head.
"Drop that knife" A sharp and familiar voice commanded from behind where he stood, as the sound of a caulking gun caused his breath to involuntarily intake.
Naraku returned his eye contact to Sesshoumaru, and flashed what was no less than a mocking grin in his direction. "My Audience just continues to grow and grow." he announced boldly.
"officer" he added smugly "I have the upper hand, so let's not get macho, the only chance she has is..." suddenly his eyes went wide and he fell backward to the ground one hand on the fresh bullet hole in his shoulder.
"Drop that knife..." Detective Tarakeichi repeated "and put your hands behind your head."
With a grunt Naraku was off the ground and charging toward Sesshoumaru, who watched on in shock. The shot was clean straight through the chest this time, and Naraku fell forward suddenly, allowing his lifeless fingers to unclasp the knife.
"This is all your fault" he whispered to the grass inches from Sesshoumaru's feet.