AN: Enjoy. Thought I'd write a chapter for you guys because I love you all like that before departing on the never-ending homework all weekend long.

Chapter 25. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

A pallid color that seemed almost unhealthy… far too skinny… enough freckles for everyone in Paris…

I looked the same overall. There were no apparent changes in my appearance. No drastic physical alterations that made me seem like a completely different person. That was only achieved when I allowed Cecille the opportunity to mold me into a masterpiece.

Standing before a mirror clad in a plain white nightgown, my face bare and my hair down, I was certainly no masterpiece. No Mona Lisa. It was true that allowing my bangs to grow out had opened up my face, making me appear like the woman I was becoming, but the action made me no Aphrodite.

"What do they see?" I asked my reflection. "When did men suddenly find it so outrageously comely of women to possess freckles and paleness and skin and bones?"

What is beauty?

Is it how you look? How people view you? How you look at yourself?

"But there is something different," I admitted. "But what?"

Turning my back to the mirror in frustration, I tossed back my hair and let out a sigh.

"How is life treating you, Isabel?"

Cecille stood in my doorway, a blanket wrapped around her that dragged on the floor. Her long, platinum hair fell down over her face, a veil between us. Never had I seen Cecille so dressed up. Where was her ruby gown of satin and silk? Where was the black lace? The ribbons that made her the temptress she was?

"Well enough," I advanced to move her hair from her face, but she stepped away and went to my window to stare into the darkness. "Are you alright, Cecille?"

"I could not sleep," she admitted. "Thought I would visit you to see how everything is going. Don't you find it odd… even the lights of darkness consumes the Moulin Rouge eventually. Even love gives into the dark eventually."

"But it is up to you to turn the light back on," her face was hidden behind her hair, but I could still see the smile form.

"I have climbed the highest mountains

I have run through the fields

Only to be with you

Only to be with you," (1)

Cecille sang to herself, a hand reached out as if pressing against the glass of a window.

However, there was no window…

"I have run I have crawled

I have scaled these city walls

Only to be with you

But I still haven't found

What I'm looking for

But I still haven't found

What I'm looking for." (1)

"Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow

But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long

'Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on." (2)

I approached her still figure, seeing tears glistening in back of her silvery veil. A soft melody filled the air, both melancholy and promising, as odd of a combination as it seemed.

"I have kissed honey lips

Felt the healing in his fingertips

It burned like fire

This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels

I have held the hand of a devil

It was warm in the night

I was cold as a stone

But I still haven't found

What I'm looking for

But I still haven't found

What I'm looking for." (1)

"Please swallow your pride, if have things you need to borrow

For no one can fill those needs that you won't let show

You just call on me sister when you need a hand

We all need somebody to lean on

I just might have a problem that you'll understand

We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long

'Til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on." (2)

"I believe in the Kingdom Come

Then all the colors will bleed into one

But yes I'm still running

You broke the bonds

You loosened the chains

You carried the cross

And my shame

And my shame

You know I believed it

But I still haven't found

What I'm looking for

But I still haven't found

What I'm looking for." (1)

Pulling Cecille into an embrace, I allowed her to cry on my shoulder as I cooed my words of comfort and compassion.

"You just call on me sister if you need a friend

We all need somebody to lean on

I just might have a problem that you'll understand

We all need somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear that you can't carry

I'm right up the road, I'll share your load if you just call me.

Call me

Call me…" (2)

"I have been a fool," Cecille cried helplessly. "I don't want to be a whore no more, Isabel. I am not a whore."

"You are not a whore," I agreed. "You worked for Ziddler. It was your job to make men believe what they wished to. It was your job. That is not who you are."

"A whore," Cecille shook with her sobs. "A whore for all of my days."

"It's alright," I promised, moving her to rest in my bed. "You just call on me sister if you need a friend. We all need somebody to lean on. I just might have a problem that you'll understand. We all need somebody to lean on." (2)

At the end of my own melody, I saw that Cecille had fallen asleep.

But her tears still kept coming.

Even in my dreams I could not escape.

He visited me there…

Those memories relived…

Those nightmares…

"Oh my life

Is changing everyday

In every possible way

And oh my dreams

It's never quiet as it seems

Never quiet as it seems…" (3)

I had stolen away during the night to stand upon the balcony that overlooked the gardens. In the moonlight, the garden was the ideal location for serenading and professing love. Moonlight played upon the plants, dancing upon metals of the flower, casting an illumination when reflected off of the fountain's still water.

"I know I've felt this before

But now I'm feeling it even more

Because it came from you." (3)

Emerging from the East of the Duke's mansion, Gregory led a blushing maid through the gardens.

The girl appeared more frightened than thrilled and exhilarated. A look of fear was painted on her face, and no amount of smiles from Gregory made it dissipate.

However timorous she appeared upon escaping the mansion was lost when Gregory kissed her in front of the fountain.

"And then I open up and see

The person falling here is me

A different way to be

La

I want more (impossible to ignore)

I want more (impossible to ignore)." (3)

So lost in his bliss, Gregory spun the maid around, prepared to waltz with her in the moonlight with only the flowers and plants as onlookers.

"And they'll come true (impossible not to do)

And they'll come true (impossible not to do)." (3)

Kissing her again, I rested my hands on the railings of the balcony and leaned forward, feeling the cool night breeze blow my hair in back of me.

"And now I tell you openly

You have my heart so don't hurt me

You're what I couldn't find." (3)

My professions of love were caught up in the wind and came whirling back at me. Yet Gregory and his maid were so lost in their own occurrences… the love that surrounded them… that no words of mine could penetrate it.

"A totally amazing mind

So understanding and so kind

You're everything to me." (3)

I whispered the last bit to myself. Such a soft utterance of love was quickly swept away to merge with the never-ending clamor of Paris.

Long after Gregory and his maid departed, hand in hand, two lovers in the night, I stayed on the balcony. Doubt seized me. Perhaps he had not heard me. It was possible I might not have said anything at all.

But, while I stood looking at the fountain where Gregory kissed only moments ago, far until the night's song became that of sweet slumber… my song lingered still.

1. U2 "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"

2. Bill Withers "Lean On Me"

3. Cranberries "Dreams"