Law and Order: SVU

Duty Calls: Chapter Eleven

On Hold

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Captain Don Cragen stared listlessly at the pile of paperwork slowly growing on his desk. He rubbed his eyes, and looked again, hoping maybe it'd be gone. It wasn't. He sighed wearily, and grabbed a pen and stared at the paper on his desk. The words ran together. The noisy chatter and ringing phones outside his office blended together until he was back on the lawn in front of Serena Benson's house, his heart racing, sweat rolling down his face, his heart in knots because Olivia and Elliot were inside and he didn't know anything and he couldn't do anything and then the explosions and that moment when neither moved at all…

Knock-knock.

Cragen sighed haggardly, trying to erase the image from his mind. He took a few deep breaths to soothe his racing heart, then called, "Come in."

John Munch entered and shut the door behind him. Cragen tossed the pen over his shoulder, knowing he'd get no use out of it.

"Hey, Cap."

John Munch moved slowly, reluctantly, and his eyes were scored by deep black circles. Behind his glasses, his usually sharp, sardonic eyes were dull with fatigue. He looked… old.

Cragen leaned back in his chair and opened his arms in an expression of exhausted welcome. "Come on in, John. Sit down." When he did, Cragen asked, "How's the wrap up coming?"

John crossed his arms characteristically. "Warner released Bane's body today. Turns out the guy had no immediate family. His mother died of natural causes and his father died at 9/11. No siblings. The ME said she was going to ask for his precinct to pay the funeral expenses, but they dodged it. He's been exposed as a criminal, and they want nothing to do with him. But it turns out some second cousin still living is paying for the burial. No funeral. Keeping the burial quiet."

Cragen sighed.

"The only information released by the press was that Bane was a mentally ill officer with a fixation on female cops and that Benson happened to be his last victim. Luckily, the reporters are too distracted by singing praises to Elliot—and Olivia, since they got wind of her taking a bullet for Jordan—for being heroes to dig any deeper than that." This last tidbit brought a weary smile to Munch's eyes.

"They deserve it, but I bet they're pissed off by all attention."

John looked away. "Elliot is anyway."

Cragen felt the pain take hold of his heart. "How're they doing, Munch?"

Munch cracked a lopsided grin, though it faded quickly. "There hasn't been much change since last night, sir. Elliot's already pretty much deserted his own room. He made it out with a mild concussion, a broken shoulder, and some minor burns and bruises. Not like Liv."

Cragen cringed at the mention of his detective's name. His worry and concern and fierce protectiveness and guilt all came rushing back. "She doing any better?"

Munch shook his head grimly, his eyes clouding. "She's still on a respirator, and she hasn't woken up yet. She's not fighting the respirator but the doctors told us yesterday that there was too much brain activity for them to classify her as comatose. That's good news at least. But pneumonia developed in her lungs after all the smoke intake, and she has a severe concussion, but doctors did say that that was getting better. They also said that her ribs were healing nicely. Her black eye is gone, too. But they had to put her on antibiotics because the stitches in her arm got infected and her ankle was prone to infection too."

Munch shook his head. "That was the worst thing about it. Her ankle was broken, but they couldn't put it in a cast yet because she had a small third-degree burn there from where her slacks caught fire, and the burn requires treatment. So the best they could do was splint her ankle."

Cragen crossed his arms, pondering. "Why isn't she fighting that respirator, John? The Liv I know would have coughed the thing up by now."

Munch frowned, and looked away. He opened his mouth, then closed it. Finally, he ventured, "Well, Captain, I'm not a doctor. And I can't get inside Olivia's head—not like Elliot can. But I think she's in there. And I think she's just thinking this stuff over, working it out in her head. You know. Getting ready to face it. But when she's ready, she'll cough up the damn respirator. I know she will."

Cragen smiled, a small flicker of hope sparkling in his eyes.

Suddenly, another knock at the door startled the two cops. "Come in!" Cragen bellowed, strength behind his voice this time.

Fin popped his head in the door. His eyes were also weary and bloodshot, but something new burned in his dark irises. "Hey, the hospital is releasing Elliot. I thought you guys might want to know. Not that making it official will do much good. He'll just move into Liv's room."

Munch barked out a laugh at that.

Cragen looked at his watch. "Well, it's almost lunch time. Let's go visit them." He grabbed his coat, and the three of them walked to Cragen's car. When his hand touched the car door, he stopped, and stared at Munch and Fin. "That reminds me. What the hell are you guys doing here! I told you guys to stay home this week!"

Munch grinned. "We had to Captain. Besides, we saw how much progress you've made this week."

"Besides," Fin added seriously, "We couldn't be at the hospital with them 24-7. We figured this was the next best thing."

Cragen smiled broadly, something stinging his eyes. He quickly blinked it away. "Get in the car, you stubborn bastards."

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Elliot Stabler signed his release papers, listened to a doctor preach to him about being careful of his broken shoulder and putting ointment on his minor burns, and staying away from stressful activity for another week because of his concussion. He listened, nodded, responded, signed the papers, and as soon as it was done, he packed up his stuff and then unpacked it in Olivia's room.

His fractured shoulder blade was difficult to treat. He was taking lots of pain medicine and his left arm was in a padded sling and strapped to his chest. And sure, his burns, on his hands mainly were annoying and made his hands a little stiff, but when he looked down at his partner still in her hospital bed, he wished to God he could take her place.

Olivia's face was barely marred. Her black eye had faded over the week she'd been in the hospital. And though she had a concussion, the impact point was on the side of her head, hidden by her hair. It wasn't for the band of gauze circling her forehead and the respirator in her throat, she would have appeared to be asleep.

Elliot sighed haggardly, and let his head fall back against his chair as he gripped her hand carefully, for dear life. "How long were you in there, Liv?"

"It doesn't matter," came a voice from the doorway. "If it wasn't for you, she'd be dead."

Elliot didn't even turn his head. His eyes stayed on his partner's face at all times. "She can't even breathe on her own, Kath," he whispered.

"Just give her time," Kathy whispered, gently laying a chaste hand on his good arm. "She'll fight it when she's strong enough."

Kathy didn't know the details of the case, but she could sense it wasn't just a normal perp stalker fixed on Olivia. But she didn't ask either.

"How are the kids doing?" Elliot whispered, tracing the line of Olivia's face.

Kathy sat down slowly, smiling wearily. "They ask about you every day. Want to know how long you have to wear that goofy sling."

Elliot let out a surprised chuckle, and finally met her eyes.

"Dickie's exact words, I swear," Kathy said with a smile. Her smile faltered slightly as her eyes flickered to the stricken woman on the bed. "Maureen asks about Olivia all the time. I think she looks up to her."

Elliot locked eyes with Kathy. "I know I do." He took a deep breath. "Look, I know I've talked to them every day, when they visit and when I call, but I want to know what you think. Do you think they're going to handle the divorce okay?"

Kathy's small smile was bittersweet. "I think so. Maureen even asked me what took us so long. She's grown up now. And since she's moved out, she won't be affected as much. Kathleen understands too, even though she struggles a little doing so. I think Lizzie and Dickie will have the hardest time," she said honestly, but she smiled. "But they'll be okay. They're strong. Like their father. And we know this is for their best interests."

Elliot nodded. He met her eyes with his own tear-filled ones. "For what its worth, Kath, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't home like I should have been, I'm sorry… it didn't work."

Kathy's eyes were bloodshot, but they shone with hope. Something Elliot couldn't quite grasp with his partner struggling for her life. "Don't be sorry, Elliot," she whispered passionately. "We cared for each other, but we haven't been in love for years. We were holding it together for them, not realizing that that was making it worse. But don't be sorry, Elliot. I've seen you and Olivia together. What you have is beautiful—it doesn't happen often. And for what it's worth, I know you never cheated on me. You're too good for that. And I know Olivia. She'd never have done it either. This will be okay, El. I promise. It will be over in a few months, and we can get back to our lives. Everything will be better for the kids, and us. I promise. And we won't hate each other like some people. Everything will be okay."

Elliot looked away, fighting back his tears with all his might. "But you, Kathy… will you be okay? With the kids, by yourself? I know I don't make much, but I'll pay all the child support I can, I promise."

She gently put a finger to his lips. "Don't worry about me, Elliot. I'll be fine. I just want you to see that everything is going to be okay!"

Elliot closed his eyes, and a tear fell from them, slid down his face, and dropped off his chin onto Olivia's hand. "I can't, Kath. I can't see beyond this room. I can't hear beyond this respirator, the heart monitor. I can't feel anything. Not pain, not hope… just Olivia's hand. And the fear that she won't make it. The guilt. Like I didn't get there in time."

Kathy went to take her husband's hand, but his only accessible one was gripping his partner's frail hand. So, she took both their hands in her own. "I'm scared for her, too, El. But I know Olivia. She's not going down without a fight. I have faith, honey. Faith not just in God, you know. I have faith in her too."

She held their hands for a lingering moment, then stood. "I'll come back tomorrow," she said, a little sadly, but her eyes still shined with the hope Elliot envied. "Don't give on her, El. Trust her. Call me if you need me."

With that, Kathy left without looking back.

Elliot turned back to Olivia. Her hand was warm. Her eyes moved behind her closed eyelids. Sometimes, the corners of her mouth would twitch. She was still in there.

"Liv." He got on his knees, and leaned close, clutching her hand, his mouth near her ear.

"Olivia. I know you can hear me. And I know you feel overwhelmed. You found and lost your father all in the same day. You found out he was a dirty cop. And I know you're wondering if you could turn out like him. Listen to me, Liv. You can't. You are a good person, and you spend your life helping other people. You aren't like him. I know. And that's why I love you. Because you're kind, smart, funny, level-headed, and brave. God, you're a brave woman, partner. And I love you. I've always loved you. And I miss you."

Only silence answered him. Her chest continued to rise and fall as the machine pumped air into her lungs. Her eyes stayed closed. Elliot sighed haggardly, and heaved himself carefully back into his chair. "I'll wait for you, Liv. No matter how long it takes, I'll wait for you."

Just then, he heard a knock on the door. He looked up, and through the window, he could see Munch's mock-annoyed glare. Well, can we come in? Munch mouthed before Fin shoved him away from the window.

Elliot chuckled, and jerked his head to tell them to come in since both his hands were otherwise occupied.

The door opened, and the three of them filed in, almost eagerly. But, they didn't even glance at Elliot at first.

Munch stepped close to the bed, and let his hand smooth Olivia's hair. "Hey, Liv," he whispered solemnly. "It's me again. I miss you." His voice trembled just slightly on the last phrase, and he quickly turned his head and stepped away.

Fin approached Olivia, smiling just slightly. "Liv, I can't take much more of Munch's conspiracy theories," he said in mock desperation. Munch smirked. "I need you to kick his ass when you wake up, okay?"

Olivia's mouth twitched. Fin's eyes widened, but he stepped away, and Cragen took his place.

And Cragen told her the same thing he told her every time he visited. "You did good, Liv. You did your job. And I'm proud of you."

After a moment of heavy silence, Munch desperately broke in.

"So they released you. Fin said it wouldn't do any good."

Elliot chuckled. "No, in fact, it made it better. Now I'm not obligated to be in my room during meal times or after visiting hours are over."

They laughed at that, but the air of the room was still serious.

"Elliot, none of this is your fault," Fin said seriously. "If you hadn't gone in, she'd be dead. And you know she wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

Elliot sighed. "I know. I mean, I know it in my head. But it's not clicking here," he whispered, pointing to his chest.

Cragen took a deep breath, and saw what else was on his detective's mind.

"Elliot, we know how you feel about Olivia." Elliot looked up apprehensively. Cragen met his frazzled eyes with a soothing smile. "And I'm not going to fire either of you for falling in love."

Elliot frowned. "But I thought relationships within the same precinct were frowned on."

"They are," Cragen answered honestly. "But this is my precinct. And what I say goes. And I say we all knew it was coming."

Elliot frowned. "Will you reassign the four of us?"

Cragen was silent for a moment. He glanced at Munch and Fin. Even though the two bickered all the time, they cared about each other, and they played off of each other well in the interrogation room. The chemistry between the two opposites was great.

And, well, Elliot had been overprotective of Olivia even before things between Kathy and him soured. Olivia was no different. Every time IAB came sniffing around in Elliot's files, she shot to his defense like a snake. He wondered if their partnership could change that much just by them being aware of the feelings that had been there for years.

"We'll just see how it goes for a while, okay?" he answered finally.

Elliot nodded. Work fled from his mind instantly, as Olivia began to cough violently.

Elliot's eyes widened, and he shot to his feet. "Nurse!" he screamed, pounding on the nurse call button with his good hand. "NURSE!"

A nurse rushed in. "You all need to step out, please," she ordered quickly. The men filed out, but Elliot reluctantly lingered at the door. Munch pulled him out, and another nurse scurried in, pulling the door shut behind him.

Don Cragen's eyes immediately found Elliot. He was shaking, backing up against the hallway wall. At first, Cragen, too, was terrified. But Munch's words floated back to him.

"But when she's ready, she'll cough up the damn respirator. I know she will."

A slow smile spread across Cragen's face, lighting his eyes. He approached Elliot; his touch was fatherly. "Elliot." Elliot looked up, his eyes stunned. "Elliot, she's fighting the respirator. She's coughing it up. She's coming back."

Elliot's eyes widened. He looked at Fin. Fin smiled and crossed his arms confidently. Elliot's eyes wandered to Munch. Munch grinned broadly. Finally, his eyes found his Captain again. Captain Cragen grabbed his shoulder fondly.

"Then… it really is going to be okay," Elliot whispered, slowly, his eyes slowly shining with his smile. "She's going to make it."

The four men were shooed away from her hospital room, into where other family members lingered, expectantly. And for the first time in a week, it wasn't a prison.

It was a waiting room. And now, they knew exactly what they were waiting for.

"I'll got get some coffee," Munch volunteered, almost cheerily.

"No, John," Elliot said, strongly. "We should all be here, together, when she wakes up. And it won't be long."

The door into her wing was still for another hour. But then, suddenly, it swung open, and this time, the doctor couldn't hold back his smile.