So It Goes
Chapter 2
Engagement
And you're still the same
I caught up with you yesterday
Moving game to game
No one standing in your way
Jeong Hyeop looked. Across the dim room, veiled in a smoky haze, people moved about in seemingly aimless patterns; the Brownian motion inherent in any crowded room. Here and there, individuals came together like molecules colliding, separated again after brief exchange of come-on and rejection. Elsewhere, groups of girls fought against the flow, singling out one man or another for their attentions. Scattered couples conversed in low tones, separating only long enough to return to the bar for a fresh round of drinks. What was there here worth seeing?
Oh. There.
He sighed dismally, as the shifting movement of the throng brought one particular couple into focus like a curtain opening on a stage. The actors, already in place, prepared to play their parts. In pantomime, of course, for who could hear voices across the babble of other conversations, the pulse of the music?
On the one side, the man; an annoyed look on his angular face. Sharp features, irregularly cropped black hair gleaming even in this clouded and indirect lighting. Irritation somehow seemed to suit him well. A fortunate thing, that, as his weary gestures and tired eyes suggested that this particular discussion was no uncommon thing.
On the other hand, the girl-- shorter than her boyfriend-- for a couple they plainly were, yet still tall for a girl. Her unruly mop of hair bounced with every exaggerated movement. Her rapidly moving mouth suggested that she was probably screaming. Hands on her hips clenched to fists. Not a happy camper.
Shit Shit and Shit again. Jyeong Hyeop lowered his forehead into his hand, and stared dismally at the condensation rings on the tabletop in front of him.
"You knew they were here." It wasn't a question, and he didn't expect a response. "How long have you been following her?"
"Shh. . ." Han Seo smiled secretively, "You're missing the best part. Watch."
Reluctantly, Jyeong Hyeop looked up again, just in time to see Ha Ji, radiating fury, throw her drink into Sin Uoo's scowling face.
"Haha! Isn't that great?" Han Seo slapped his knee in exaggerated amusement.
"What are you doing?" Jyeong Hyeop wearily rubbed his hand across his forehead, "I thought you'd given up on her, remember -- not so innocent anymore? Not the toy you wanted?"
In lieu of reply, Han Seo cocked an arch eyebrow, and lit a fresh cigarette.
"Come on. You knew they were here. Why are you showing me this?"
"You're missing the rest of the show."
"Fuck the 'show!' Don't do this man, Let's just go home." Dreading the words he could see Han Seo had trapped behind his glittering teeth, his stone cold eyes. Knowing them anyway. The reason they were here tonight. Even down to the dangerous smile, the seductively lowered lashes, that Han Seo would have manifested, declaring in deceptively dulcet tones, "I changed my mind." Jyeong Hyeop could see it in his mind's eye, could feel the truth freezing in his bones. Praying not again. He couldn't go through this again. Not after the last time; the first time; and, he had hoped, the only time.
"A few more minutes." Han Seo demurred. "Just a few." He knew what he was waiting for. And soon enough, there it was; the reason they were stationed here at this particular table, in this certain location. Ha Ji, throwing her hands up at the argument. Storming off to the bathroom-- which, it so happened, was down a narrow hallway off to the side a little ways past where the two men were sitting. "She does this every time." Han Seo confided silkily, his eyes never leaving the girl pushing through the crowded room; getting nearer with every passing second.
Nearer she may have gotten, but true to her word to leave the purportedly amnesiac Han Seo be, Ha Ji ignored him. Pretended not to see. Just as she had done every time she saw him here. Did she like it? No, of course not. But she'd known, a year ago when Jeong Hyeop had snapped at her, that he was right. She couldn't have them both, not the way they wanted her. Nor could she forget the truth about Han Seo, his ruthless violence, his cruelty, his lies. So she acted as if they were the strangers she believed Han Seo thought them to be.
Perhaps they really were.
Still, her jaw clenched as she fought the urge to turn her head, to make eye contact. Wasn't it bad enough that her relationship with Sin Uoo hadn't turned out the way she wanted it to be? The way she somehow believed it would; perfect, eternal, as if mandated by some celestial decree. Oh yeah, the passion was there all right, the fiery burning need, the hunger for his touch, the longing for his voice. But, the flip side; his embarrassment over her manners, her crudity, her lack of femininity. The shame he felt at the way she drew attention in a crowd. The way she stood out everywhere they went; and not in a good way. Oh, he tried to hide it, sometimes. He didn't really want to hurt her. After all, she knew he loved her as much as she adored him. But that wasn't really the point.
Sometimes; times like now; times that somehow seemed to occur with increasing frequency; he'd snap. Some little word or deed, some innocent comment that she'd made, would set him off, in a fit of rage. He'd tell her she wasn't fit to be seen in public. That she was making a scene. Ha! And how did he expect her to react to that, huh? Ha Ji fumed. She hadn't been brought up to take such things lightly. She once had been a respected jjang. Surely she still deserved a little respect, especially from her boyfriend.
Sadly, she wasn't good with words. Never had been. He'd go off on ridiculous tangents. She was lost after the first few sentences. She fought back the only way she knew how; with action. Things would get ugly; he would sulk, incapable of laughing it off, as she would have. His, a slow burning grudge, hers a brief hot flare. It didn't go well. Not at all.
Ha Ji stumbled, fought tears. Shit, how she hated to cry. It made her feel weak, even if it was a woman's most potent weapon. She'd fled this most recent fight, (and don't even ask what it was over, she couldn't have told you) hoping that a trip to the ladies' room would give her (and him) a chance to cool down, to forget the words that had been spoken.
Hope springs eternal, right? Yeah.
But then, the kicker, to make such a stellar evening even more perfect. Ha Ji just had to look up at just the wrong moment, catching the wide-eyed, startled gaze of Jeong Hyeop. She couldn't pretend to not see him too, now could she? Not when they still exchanged email regularly. Admittedly, it tended to be fairly superficial messages, these days, as they both avoided mention of, well, sensitive, topics; namely Han Seo and Sin Uoo. But still, by normal standards they considered themselves to be friends, so she couldn't just pass him by; looking away and pretending that she hadn't noticed him sitting there. Of course, the problem now; Han Seo, sitting across from Jeong Hyeop, a cigarette casually slung between two fingers, gazing off across the room with an enigmatic smile on his narrow face.
Shit Shit Shit and Damn. Ha Ji's thoughts unconsciously echoing Jeong Hyeop's at that moment. Unable to break eye contact, she waved, and pretended to smile, as she hastily wiped half-formed tears from her eyes. Decided to do her best to ignore Han Seo's presence.
"Hey, Jeong Hyeop. Long time no see. How goes?" A bit awkward, not like her usual brash openness, sidelong glances flung at Han Seo's serenely distant expression, only his narrowed eyes giving the lie to the nonchalance.
"Not Bad. Heard you finally graduated. Congrats. Knew you'd manage to get out of high school eventually." Well, he had had his doubts; before he'd realized that she wasn't quite the chicken-brain she seemed.
"Thanks. But you know, I had to do it-- the Director would've kicked my ass to hell and back if I hadn't passed all my classes." Yah, her mom and Sin Uoo both, but she couldn't say that here. "What're you up to these days?"
"You know, the usual. University, and stuff." He gave an airy wave to indicate the unimportance of it all. Couldn't exactly tell her the truth; the family business he and Han Seo were frequently called upon to take care of. And besides, the duller he sounded, the sooner she'd lose interest and go away. Or so he hoped-- counting on her obvious discomfort to speed the retreat.
"Sounds ever so exciting." Not in the least, but she knew she wasn't going to get the truth from him, not now, and certainly not here. "Look I gotta run, catch you later, 'K?" Ha Ji's gaze flicked skittishly towards Han Seo, and back to Jeong Hyeop, before she summoned up a credible impression of her usual sunny self, "Call me sometime. We should hang out, grab a pizza or something." A hint of wistfulness, "Like in the old days." When life had seemed so simple; when her faith in the goodness of people had been unshakeable. Ah well. Even she knew that childhood couldn't have lasted forever.
"Yeah Sure." Jyeong Hyeop nodded absently, insincerely, peering at her over the rim of his glasses. Watching her turning to leave their table, feeling his shoulders hunch with tension, wondering why Han Seo had remained so quiet thus far. Waiting for the shoe to fall. As, of course, he knew it would.
"Aren't you going to say hello to me, Ha Ji Kang?" Han Seo spoke, like warm silk, purring at the girl's retreating back.
A reflex it was, like lightening strike. Inescapable Pavlovian response. She pivoted on her heel, a pounding uppercut already in motion, "I told you never to use my full name, you Shithead!" Not remembering, before she spoke, that he wasn't even supposed to remember her, much less want her attention.
Han Seo laughed, blocked her lunge with an almost casual gesture, catching her wrist in an iron grip. "Now, is that any way to greet an old friend? Truly, I'm disappointed."
Widening eyes, like a deer in the headlights. Shock, confusion, realization passing through those big brown eyes.
Han Seo blew an elegant wreath of smoke from his slanted smile, waiting for her next play.
The game had begun again.
And this time, withdrawal was not an option.
TBC