So It Goes

Chapter 4

Inevitability

There you stood, everybody watched you play

I just turned and walked away

I had nothing left to say

'Cause you're still the same

"I've lived with his ghost for a year. And the damned man isn't even dead!" That, don't you know, is what Sin Uoo was thinking every time he snapped at Ha Ji, every single damn time they fought. It was what he was thinking now.

He couldn't help himself. It wasn't that he was embarrassed over her behavior. No. That was what made her who she was. It was just that, when she spoke a certain way, her attitude, a gleam he could see in her eye, it would remind him. She had been trained, moulded, formed, in this way or in that way, unnaturally, like some fantastical human topiary. In so many ways, she was Han Seo's creation, and nobody else's. She had been created in ways he could not touch. Sinn Uoo had her for now, and he believed her love for him was strong and true. But still and yet, yet and still, in every nuance, or lack thereof, he was reminded of Han Seo, and he would snap at her. He wanted these reminders to be erased, but he knew, that to erase her self in such a way, would be to destroy all the things he loved about her.

Sometimes, Sinn Uoo thought he was in hell, and wondered what he had done in life to deserve such torment. To love and to hate, and to never forget that which he hated. Sinn Uoo knew how to carry a grudge.

Sometimes, he wished he were dead. Sometimes, he wished she were dead. He wished she had never existed. He wished Aram had remained only Aram until the day she died, and that Ha Ji had remained Ha Ji. Perhaps he would not have found love, brief moments of happiness then, but nor would he have watched her die, have found her again, have fought for and won her, a truly Pyrrhic victory.

And some nights, the guilt ate at him alive, wondering how she could love him, after all the things he'd done to her. And some nights he hated her, for loving him despite all the things that he'd done. Some nights, he lay awake, wondering how she could forgive Han Seo, and if she loved him still. Some nights, he wanted to die.

Sinn Uoo, stood in alone, in a crowded club, the drink Ha Ji had upended, dripping down his face. He wondered, as the alcohol stung his eyes, if this is how Ha Ji felt when she cried. Frustration, longing, despair. The love so strong it burned him up inside.

She would return. He would apologize and take her home. The make-up sex would be fantastic, and he would revel in it for all he was worth, reminding himself, that this one thing, this side of her, it was his alone. Han Seo had had no part in this. And it would suffice, until the next time. And the time after that.

He wondered when his fractured heart would break.

Sinn Uoo took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, wiped his shaggy bangs off of his damp face, and checked his watch. Damnit, she should have returned by now.

And that was when he saw it. Him. The man approaching through the crowd, subtly parting it, yet remaining almost invisible in his self-deprecating way. Jeong Hyeop. Han Seo's axeman, his right hand, his only friend. The chill that ran down Sinn Uoo's spine at that moment was a blast of pure adrenaline into his heart.

The moment he dreaded, expected, longed for, feared had come.

He had always known it wasn't over.

It was as if reality froze, shifted, began again.

"Let the games begin." A challenge issued in the silence of his own mind. While on the outside, he realigned his features into an icy glare, with which to greet Jeong Hyeop.

"You."

"We need to talk." Jeong Hyeop remained imperturbable, his gentle features perfectly schooled.

"Where is He?"

"You mean, 'Where are they?'"

"What has he done to her? I'll kill him this time." Already Sinn Uoo could feel the burning rage building up inside. The frustration and the hurt that he would just love to take out on someone, anyone, but most of all, on Han Seo.

"I don't know." Jeong Hyeop lied. "They left the club." He shrugged slightly and gave a small, self-deprecating half-smile, "I'm sorry, I truly am. I had hoped that all of this was over. He's been so good all year. I guess I should have known." Slowly, he began leading Sinn Uoo out of the club.

"You hoped." Sinn Uoo snorted, "I knew better. Why are you telling me this now?" He never trusted the other man, How could he, knowing who he was, and what his Family did?

"My only goal," Jeong Hyeop shrugged, "Is to serve as best I may. Come with me."

"Your loyalty is admirable, if wasted on that snake."

"Nothing freely given is ever wasted," Jeong Hyeop replied mildly, as he escorted Sinn Uoo out into the street. "Ahh. . . don't you love the fresh air. It's such a beautiful night." He didn't even blink when Sinn Uoo struck, tired of this obvious delaying tactic, slamming Jeong Hyeop against the wall, a hand at his throat.

"No games. Where is she?" the words unspoken, and what has he done?

"I don't really know." Still Jeong Hyeop remained curiously unfazed by Sinn Uoo's violence. After all, he put up with Han Seo on a daily basis. This was nothing compared to his friend's temper. "Honestly, I didn't know that he was planning anything, until this evening. You know, he hasn't confided in me, his plans for her, since that time last year."

"Shit." Sinn Uoo jerked back, dropping his rip on Jeong Hyeop. "What did he say?"

"He was bored."

"That's it?" Plainly disbelieving

". . . because it's fun." The words that said it all.

"Shit!" explosively. Sinn Uoo clenched his fists in frustration. "It never ends, does it? Never goes away? I see him in her every smile. He lives in side her eyes. I thought he'd given her up. She agreed to do the same! Damnit, she loves me!"

"She loves him too."

"But he threw her away."

"He would have died for her."

"That's It! Fuck, I would have died for her."

"No, you wouldn't." Jeong Hyeop shook his head, "You would kill for her. You'd like to kill me now."

"And you? Did you come here to kill me?" Suddenly wary again, suddenly suspicious.

"I thought about it." Jeong Hyeop smiled then, carefully removing empty hands from his pockets and spreading them in an elaborate show of weaponlessness. "Honestly, It might have been for the best. But I am loyal."

"And Han Seo doesn't want me dead?" Skeptically.

"If he wanted you dead, you'd be dead now."

"How would you know? You said it yourself, he doesn't confide in you."

"Because you can't die, until he's won." Jeong Hyeop looked away, his smile turning down at the edges, as if he'd said too much.

"Won what?"

"Everything.' Still Jeong Hyeop would not meet his eyes.

"What more does he need?" it was almost a tone of despair, "He's got her heart, as much as I do. She'll never see me without thinking of him."

"That just means you've lost." Jeong Hyeop's voice was bleaker than Sinn Uoo felt. "It doesn't mean that he's won."

"Then what does?"

"She has to admit it."

"Admit what?"

"That it should have been him."

"The hell it should have!"

"You're welcome to your opinion."

"Where are they?"

"All in good time."

"Now! Or I call for reinforcements."

Deliberately casual, he glanced at his watch. "Now's as good a time as any." As if resigned to his fate. "Come one." Back into the club.

Even Sinn Uoo had to bark a laugh at how easily he'd been manipulated. How good Jeong Hyeop really was at the game.

"It's not a game, you know." As if reading his mind.

"No?" sarcastically.

"No. Life is not a prize. Not a token to be gambled away."

"Does Han Seo agree?"

"Does it matter?"

"I suppose not." A pause. "I never knew you were so philosophical."

Jeong Hyeop carefully didn't say, that's because you never knew me. Instead, he replied, "In my profession, you need to be philosophical. It's not easy making a man beg for mercy, or spill his guts without, you know, breaking him completely. Torture is all in the attitude. It's very Zen."

"And I thought Han Seo was crazy."

"We're here." Stopping abruptly. "Are you sure you want to interrupt?"

Sinn Uoo didn't bother with a response, simply snarled, and pushed past, ready to kill or maim, or hurt. Ready, he thought for any scene that Han Seo could have prepared for him. He was wrong.

She lay on the floor, naked, his beautiful tigress, Ha Ji. Her vibrant hair spread out around her head. A spreading pool of blood beneath her. Yet she was not dead. She always had been hard to kill. She smiled as he came in, smiled at his ashen face, at the stricken look of panic on his face. She was dying, would soon be cold and still. And Sinn Uoo felt his heart stop, miss a beat, and start to hammer. This couldn't be happening, this couldn't be real.

"She's perfect." Han Seo stepped into Sinn Uoo's suddenly narrowed field of vision. "All the scars we ever made. I kissed them all to make them better. To remind her who she was. You could never know her like I could."

"You bastard, what did you do?" a hoarse whisper, seeing the knife, but not willing to believe the horror.

"A broken heart is hard to heal." Han Seo smiled, and Sinn Uoo could the blood on his lips, the vindictive, accusatory smile of a madman, "You should have known! I broke her heart, and it still bled! You could have fixed it. You could have made her well. But you wouldn't let her heal. You picked the scab and ripped out the stitches. I left her for you. and you did nothing but hurt her. I didn't give her up for that. She deserves better."

"You killed her."

"She was already dying on the inside!"

"You're insane."

"Maybe." Han Seo shrugged, "But I love her better than you. I'm willing to sacrifice anything to make her happy. To end her pain. That's why she smiles. She feels nothing now."

"You once tried to save her!" And still, Sinn Uoo could not believe.

"And now I have." Han Seo shrugged, and went to kneel by Ha Ji. She may have fought him, but this was for the best, really. He hadn't been able to take it any more. Her hurt or his own. With one swift jerk, he yanked his knife from where it had been plunged deep within her heart, and with the strength of insanity, drove it into his own.

This was his love, the only thing he could give. The end of their pain and heartache. He could feel the blood rush out, the world grow dim, as he collapsed across Ha Ji, and took her last breath with his own.

Sinn Uoo was still in shock, when Jeong Hyeop spoke again, "He always knew her better than you."

"He won?" Sinn Uoo couldn't believe it, "That's victory? Ha Ji!" She was really gone. Again. Han Seo had killed her, again. And this time, she was gone forever. No more redemption left for him.

He knelt down in their mingled pool of blood and began to cry.

Jeong Hyeop sighed, and loyal to the last, knowing what Han Seo would have wanted, reached into his pocket, pulled out his pistol, and shot Sinn Uoo in the back of the head. Han Seo would not have wanted Sinn Uoo to live, and love again, if he could not. Even if it would have meant hat Sinn Uoo wouldn't suffer for long, for what he'd done.

It was better this way. He was sure of it.

Thoughtfully, Jeong Hyeop put his gun away, took one last look at the corpses cooling on the floor, and turned away.

"I loved her too." He spoke to the air. " Almost as much as I loved you. You never knew that. You never asked." He shrugged, "You wouldn't have believed. It's better this way, I think. I never wanted to play that game." Slowly, he made he way to the door, turned the light off, and spoke one last time, "I hope it's peaceful where you are. I hope you can be happy there." But what was the point of speaking to the dead?

Jeong Hyeop slipped out, and shut the door behind him, letting it close with a snick of finality.

TBC.