Chapter Two:

Maybe It's Me

(Author's Note: Sorry about some of the bad grammar in chapter one – the repeating "Starfire" when I could've just used "her" or "she" – but it was one o'clock in the morning. My brain shuts off at 11:30. Besides, you get the idea ;; )

Starfire walked back to her room, unsure about what she just did. Something pulled her in to kiss Raven gently on the cheek. It gave Star a warm sensation inside; the act truly made her happy. She giggled a little at the aspect of Raven seeing her naked in the shower. Starfire was disappointed in a way that Raven didn't accept her offer on joining her for the shower and instead ran away as fast as she could. For some reason, she had the inkling notion to see her best friend naked. To Starfire, clothes were ways that people hid themselves. Here on Earth, everyone seemed to have something to hide. When you're nude, you have nothing to hide – or you should have nothing to hide.

Starfire slipped into her uniform and exited to the living room. Cyborg was making waffles for everyone, complete with his chef hat and big pink apron. Robin and Beast Boy were sitting on the couch watching the morning cartoons. They all turned and greeted Starfire.

She polished up a salutation, "Glorious day, friends! I trust you all have had a good night's rest?"

They all nodded.

"I kept having a weird dream that somebody was trying to knock on my door last night," Robin said.

Starfire blushed, and said, "Oh, yes, well, um… very strange, indeed!"

"Say, where's Raven?" Beast Boy asked.

"I'm right here," Raven said behind Starfire.

She immediately made a bee-line to the nearest corner chair and hid her face. The blushing from Starfire's kiss had not died down.

Robin turned to Beast Boy and Cyborg for an explanation. Both shrugged. Starfire looked over at her friend who dove into a book. Then she looked back at Robin and Beast Boy. Normally, she would find a seat on the couch next to the one she idolized. But, not today… Instead, she took a seat next to Raven. Raven looked over into Starfire's beaming gaze and smiled gently. Starfire knew immediately it was a much better choice than sitting next to Robin: she was actually noticed, for once.

Breakfast was quiet on the end of the bar where Starfire and Raven sat. Raven didn't mind one bit – she enjoyed the quietness with her Starfire. The boys occupied themselves with the boob tube which kept their attention off of the two female occupants. Starfire ate her waffles with her left hand, leaving the right one resting in her lap. To Raven, this was an ideal opportunity to be subtle with her love and desire for Starfire. Slowly, her left hand crept over and slipped it into Starfire's. Starfire interlocked fingers with Raven, turning and smiling warmly at her. Inside Starfire, for unexplainable reasons to her, her heart skipped a beat when Raven began holding her hand. Was she starting to look at Raven differently? No, it couldn't be… her love was reserved for Robin… was it? Was she chasing a pipe dream?

Something on Raven's chin caught Starfire's attention.

She raised her eyebrows, "Raven? Is that…"

She touched the dried blood that stained Raven's skin, running her finger down the single streak from her lower lip. Raven just sat there, frozen in time, unsure of what to do. Starfire took a napkin and gently scraped off the crusted trail. In return, Raven blushed and looked away.

Starfire tried to speak, "Raven, what's…"

"Want to go to the park?" Raven interjected quickly.

Starfire was taken back, but smiled and nodded, "Yes, that would be wonderful!"

Raven almost melted at the sight of her smile. A wet spot was starting to form in between her legs. Raven closed them together and prayed that Starfire didn't look down. Thankfully, she didn't, and the two finished breakfast.

Cyborg offered to drive them, but Raven declined. She didn't want any indication of her lust for Starfire be known to anybody or anything other than Star herself, if possible. They flew through the later morning air to one of the better Jump City parks on the outskirts of town. Much to Raven's delight, there was little activity going on. It was going to be a quiet day with her Starfire.

They began to walk down the scraped dirt path. Around them, the bright sun reflected warmly off of all the vivid spring colors that lined the border of the area. Starfire was getting bouncy, saying, "Oh, it is so beautiful here! I love nature!"

Raven couldn't help but smile and get a little giddy herself. It was a new feeling… it felt like she hadn't a care in the world…

They walked to the lake at the center of the park and sat on the cool grass. A wood duck and her ducklings swam through the center; Starfire squealed at the sight.

"Oh," she said with delight. "They are so adorable! I am so glad I am getting to share such a wonderful experience with you, Raven."

Raven nodded, "Me too."

They sat there looking at the water for awhile. The sun continued to beat down on everything that wasn't in the shade of a shadow. Raven brought her knees up to her chest as Starfire propped herself up. She sensed something was troubling her pale friend.

Starfire turned and asked, "Raven, is something troubling you?"

Raven sighed, but inside her brain went to work putting together a response that wouldn't totally drop the ball. She said, "Starfire, how do you tell someone you love them? How do you overcome the fear of what they'll say when you do tell them? What if they say no? What if they don't know how to reply…? What if all your hoping and waiting was for nothing?"

Starfire looked back down at the ground and said softly, "I know how you feel. I, too, seem to be waiting on the impossible."

Raven already knew who, but she felt she had to ask, "Robin?"

Starfire nodded, "Yes. I am afraid he will never hold regards for me as I do for him."

"How long have you felt that way?"

"Days, weeks, months… oh Raven," she said, wiping her eyes. "It is like he is a million miles away yet he is so close, just out of my reach. Do you know what I mean…?"

Starfire looked over at Raven, into those deep velvet entryways into her soul. Raven suddenly had the near-death urge to kiss Starfire, to get it over with. Without hesitation, she grabbed Starfire's shoulders and kissed her, thrusting her tongue past the surprised Tamaranian's lips. Starfire's heart got caught in her throat as her intestines knotted themselves into a bow-tie. Raven pulled away quickly, tears streaming down her face as she looked into Star's perplexed expression.

"I'm sorry," Raven stuttered as she scrambled to get up. She ran away from Starfire as hard as she could, brushing by several visitors to the park. Starfire sat there, her hand out to try and call Raven back, but her voice had sunken inside of her. She was going to ask her about the note, but she felt it unnecessary now.

Its author had been revealed.

So many questions, but they would have to wait. Comforting Raven seemed like the most logical thing to accomplish first.

Raven pushed her physical extremes farther than she ever had before. She could feel her leg muscles start to ache and sweat drenched her hair and back. But she knew she couldn't stop… not after what she did. Raven made it back into the safety of the city. The buildings and alleyways would provide a good place to hide from the world. The question now was: would she ever be able to return to Titans Tower? What would the others say if Starfire began to talk? Surely she would ask advice from Robin, her knight in shining armor.

Raven ducked into an alley between a bank and a department store. She hid behind a dumpster and slid down to the dank pavement. Raven cried her heart out, but sadness and self-pity soon turned to anger and self-scorn. She punched herself so hard that she busted her nose. Blood droplets splattered onto the side of the trash bin and brick wall as Raven continued to punch, slap, and claw to no end.

"YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID," she screamed at herself. "YOU ARE A GODDAMN FAILURE!"

She banged her head against the dumpster before falling over onto her side, weeping. The anger lifted as the pain slid into place. Her face was bruised and scratched – like she had been dragged through a briar patch – her emotions were in shambles. Out of one last fit of anger she used her powers to pick up a plastic milk crate and throw it at herself. She missed.

Raven curled up and began to shiver. She never felt so cold before… at least, not any colder than when she slept at night.