A/N: I'm terribly, terribly sorry for not updating in the past few days, but I promise it'll be worth the wait. PROMISE.

…And yes, Ginny's owl is named after Conan O'Brien. Why Ginny would know who Conan is, I have no idea, but, you know…

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies. LOLZ.

Ginny Weasley was terribly bored. So bored, in fact, that she had whipped out a spare piece of parchment and began scrawling letters to her best friends, Hermione Granger and Colin Creevey.

Hermione!

I met a lovely guy in a café today. You should meet me at The Three Broomsticks tomorrow night so I can tell you about him. And you can tell me what's going on with you and Ron, because he won't tell me anything.

I'm inviting Colin, too.

Owl me back when you get this, bitch.

Chocolate and naked men,

Ginny

Ginny giggled and stroked her little owl, Conan. Conan was a tiny Saw-whet owl, and was only about six inches tall. His feathers were all brown except for the cream-colored speckles on his back, and the feathers around his eyes.

"Take this to Hermione, Conan-kins," Ginny said, and tied the note to the owl's scrawny foot, "But don't leave yet. I have to write one for Colin, too."

Ginny took out another piece of parchment and dipped her quill into the ink.

Colin Cakes,

Come to the Three Broomsticks with me tomorrow night. I'm owling Hermione, too, so she'll probably be coming.

You're going, or I'll chop your balls off!

Anyways, you won't want to miss this. I met a lovely boy in Amelia's. He's god, I tell you. I need to inform you of everything about this man.

REMEMBER: I'll chop them off!

-Gin

Ginny attached the second letter to the owl's other foot.

"Remember, Conan! Left is Hermione, and right is Colin," she instructed. She fed him a pinky mouse and tossed him out the kitchen window.

&&&&&&&&&&

A few hours later, Ginny was reading a magazine and chomping on leftover meatballs in a Glad container when Conan smacked against the (closed) window. He slid down slowly and Ginny stared until he was out of view. She walked over and opened the window, then pulled Conan out of the flower pot and set him on the counter. She looked at the letters. The first one she picked up to read was from Hermione.

Ginny,

Of course I'll meet you. I have tons to tell you about Ronnie-kins.

IS HE GORGEOUS? Wait… don't write back, you're owl was exhausted when he got here. I'd feel bad if I made him go back and forth from our houses.

Hugs,

Hermione

Ginny giggled, poked the letter with her wand, and it was gone. She untied Colin's letter and read it.

OHMYGODSICAN'TWAITFORTOMORROW.

PS: I'm coming.

Love,

Colin

Ginny did the same with his letter, and then put Conan in his cage with another pinky mouse. She put away her meatballs and went up to bed.

&&&&&&&&&&

Draco Malfoy was sitting on his couch between Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott. Draco was fisting Hershey Kisses into his face, Blaise was slurping down Whipped Cream from a Cool Whip can, and Theo was sitting there shirtless, reading a magazine, with one hand down his pants.

"You know, guys," said Draco, breaking the silence, "I met a girl at Amelia's the other day."

"A girl?" Blaise repeated.

"Yes, Blaise, a girl," Draco repeated slowly.

"Tell us about her!" Theo smacked him with the copy of Witch Weekly that he had been reading.

"Alright, alright..."

&&&&&&&&&&

"I knew a girl named Ginny back in Hogwarts," said Blaise.

"Oh?" asked Theo.

"Yes, Ginny Weasley. She was a dear, but her brothers were--"

"OHMYGOD. How could I not realize it, Blaise? The red hair...the freckles...GINNY." He shuddered. "And I called her gorgeous!" he exclaimed, banging his head on the coffee table.

"Calm down, boy. You liked her before you knew her surname and now you suddenly hate her? You're being awfully judgmental."

Draco rolled his eyes, crossed his arms, and pouted. "But she's a Weasleeeeey," he whined. Blaise shook his head.

&&&&&&&&&&

Ginny clicked her tongue. She was sitting at a table in a corner of the Three Broomsticks, waiting for Colin and Hermione to arrive.

"Ginny, my dear, are you all alone tonight?" Madam Rosmerta asked at the sight of one of her regular customers sitting at a table by herself.

"No, I'm waiting for Colin and Hermione to show up."

Madam Rosmerta giggled. "Three butterbeers, then?"

Ginny nodded. "Thanks, Madam Rosmerta. You're a doll."

Moments after Madam Rosmerta had returned with the tray of butterbeers, Hermione and Colin literally skipped to the table.

"No small-talk. Tell us about the guy you met," Colin said, before Hermione or Ginny had a chance to say anything.

&&&&&&&&&&

"So who was that girl that dumped him?" asked Hermione.

"Her name was Pansy… something."

"Draco and Pansy? That sounds familiar…"

There was silence for a moment.

"Ginny, the man you met in the café is Draco Malfoy! The woman that broke up with him is Pansy Parkinson."

Ginny went pale and tried to take a sip of a French Fry. "That's impossible."

"No, it's very possible. How many people on Earth are named Draco and have girlfriends named Pansy? Really, Ginny, you should've realized it from the start!"

"He knew my name, and he saw my freckles and my red hair… Shouldn't he have realized who I was, too?"

"Well, he was never the brightest…" Colin whispered, only to be interrupted by the flushing redhead across the table.

"He seemed like a nice guy, and I don't want to be his enemy for no reason at all other than a family rivalry thing! I liked him a lot, and I don't think our surnames and families and backgrounds should make a difference," Ginny said hotly, crossing her arms.

"Whatever you say, Gin," said Hermione.

There was silence for a few minutes, until Ginny broke it.

"So what's going on with you and Ron?" she asked Hermione.

Hermione blushed. "Oh… well, since Hogwarts, Ron and I have always… oh, Ginny, I really don't know what's been going on for the past…" Hermione stopped to count on her fingers, "…six years." She giggled, but Colin and Ginny just stared.

"So you've been going out, but not really?" asked Colin.

"Yes, you could say that." Hermione frowned.

"Well… why you two are not married right now is beyond me," said Ginny.

"We're both too shy, I think," said Hermione.

"Hermione, dear, you and Ron will be dating by next Tuesday if I have anything to do with it," said Ginny. She cackled loudly and disapparated, leaving Colin and Hermione alone at the table.