Author's Note: LANGUAGE ALERT

OOOOOOOOOOOO

"A miracle?"

Ian wasn't used to floundering, but he definitely didn't have a clue what they were talking about.

"Please?"

"I don't-"

"Just touch her," Joshua said, quickly, as if trying to keep Ian from getting annoyed again. "We have the faith."

"In what?" Ian asked, scowling. God damn it! This was all Daniel's fault. Sure as shit that little fucking kid told everyone he'd healed him and now Ian was going to be buried under people asking to be healed for the rest of their visit. "I'm not a healer. I'm not-"

"You're the son of God," Sabrina said. "Of course you're a Healer."

"What? Who the hell told you that?"

They both shrank back, now, Joshua pulling his wife behind him to block her from Ian's wrath.

"It's all over the village… that you healed one of the children of Richard's village with a single touch…"

"Richard's village?" Ian repeated. "Do you mean you're not from that village?"

"We live in Alan's village," Sabrina said, speaking up, although she nervously stayed behind Joshua's protective form. "A runner came last night, spreading the news."

"And said you and your followers were going to the cave to look at the ancient symbols," Joshua added. "I came on ahead and told Sabrina to follow, hoping you'd be willing to help-"

"Did you cause that cave in?" Ian asked, his anger once more overpowering his curiosity. "Just to get-"

"No! I was just watching. I swear."

"How did you get me out without the others seeing you?"

"Through the tunnel."

"I need to get back there. Now."

"Please… just-"

"Look! I'm not who you think I am," Ian snapped at Joshua. "And you're lucky I'm not because otherwise you'd have a lightning bolt so far up your ass you'd have to blow your nose to take a shit."

He turned and stormed out of the lean-to, not knowing which direction the cave was in but unwilling to stay any longer and listen to the crazy natives. Just when he'd thought things in his life couldn't get any fucking crazier than they already where this kind of shit comes along. He had half a mind to go live in some kind of monastery or something – or maybe become a hermit. Anything to stay away from the fruit loops that always seemed to find him.

"You're going the wrong direction," Joshua called from behind him. The man was doggedly following Ian, desperate for help. "Please! If you help my wife, I'll show you the way to the cave. I'll take you back myself!"

"You never should have taken me out of there in the first place," Ian said, coming to a stop so quickly that Joshua had to scramble not to bump into him. "They're probably-"

"I saved your life!"

"Bullshit."

"Help my wife and I'll take you to your friends."

"Take me to my friends or I'll beat the shit out of you."

Joshua frowned.

"I don't believe you will…"

Ian wasn't so angry that he'd attack an unarmed man. Especially now that he actually did have the training to kill someone with his hands. Training that was supposed to be used for self-defense. But it was frustrating all the same, and he felt like his head was going to explode.

"God damn it! Which way is it?"

"Help my-"

"Fine." God, he was going to go nuts! "Take me to my friends and I'll see what I can do about your wife."

"Promise me."

"Fine."

"Say it."

"Joshua, take me to my friends. Now. Or I'm going to go looking for myself and you and your wife can both kiss my ass."

Confusion was clear on the villager's face as he tried to figure out why the son of God would want him and his wife to kiss his rear, and Ian sighed, realizing that he wasn't going to make any progress this way – and he knew he wasn't going to be able to find the cave on his own. Not without knowing which direction to go.

"I promise. Okay?"

"It's this way."

Joshua turned and headed off in the complete opposite direction that Ian had been going in the first place.

OOOOOOOOOOO

"Ian's not the son of God, you guys…" Daniel said after another long, stunned silence. "What made you think that he was?"

"He's a healer, Daniel," Braxton said. "Say what you will, but we know he healed my son's leg with a touch. The legends say that the son of God will come as a healer. And will come from the east, with great beasts and miracles to prove who he is."

"And with that little bit you've decided that he's-"

"You know about God," Aaron said. "And you understand the symbols on the walls, and he is young, and dark-haired – like the legends say he-"

"Ian Brooks is the son of two humans," Teal'c said. "He is not who you think he is."

"He's tamed the Jaffa!" Peter said to Daniel and Jack, pointing at Teal'c. "We have heard stories of the Jaffa, and have seen them a few times. No one could-"

"Tamed the Jaffa?" Jack repeated.

"He must be the-"

"He's not." Jack said, cutting Braxton off short. He'd heard enough of this nonsense, and he had other things to worry about. Mainly finding Ian – preferably alive and well, if not a little battered. "Jaffer!"

The big black lab had been waiting to be called, and he headed for the space Jack and the others had made in the rock pile. With Jack (the dog) right behind him, the lab scrambled over the rocks, eager to find where Ian was hiding and get him back with the group.

"Perhaps he has hidden his true identity from you as well," Peter said to Daniel, who was watching as Jack (the dog) disappeared behind the wall of rocks and dirt.

"He hasn't," Daniel said, shortly. "Believe me, Ian's not the son of God. I've met his dad, and Nathan is hardly the kind of guy who can be mistaken for-"

Daniel was cut off short by a rumbling noise and a shudder that seemed to shake the entire cave system. This time they all recognized it for what it was.

"Jaffer! Jack!"

The rocks came down in almost the exact same place as before, and with just as little warning. As the occupants of the cave dove for what little cover they could find, the cascading rocks buried the far end of the cave, completely and utterly. As soon as it stopped, Jack rolled over, sitting up and then scrambling to his feet, and running back towards the rear of the cave, unconcerned about tripping over the scattered rocks that they'd cleared earlier.

"Jaffer!"

Even as his heart sank in the realization that he'd just lost his best friend, Jack heard an answering bark. It was coming from behind the rocks, and was answered immediately by another. Both dogs were alive and well.