A.N. - I can almost feel people throwing tomatoes at their screen going "What took you so damn long and WHY ARE YOU UPDATING THIS ONE?". Reason: I had two flus in one week, I completely screwed up my leg (as in can't walk), I'm suicidally stressed about uni exams, I was in Japan for two bloody weeks emptying 17 year old fish cans, and I'm in the middle of a brain-stop writer's block. Why this one? Because. . .

It was INYX's BIRTHDAY (about two months ago)!

Happy happy late birthday, my favourite girl, I love you so very very much and I hope you had a great day. This chapter's song I chose especially for you (me no own hyde, everyone. If I did, he'd be in my closet, tied up.). XD

You gently nourish my dry skin

A DROP OF COLOUR saves me from

The fate I'm facing everyday

A single bloom, piercing the snowdrift

How softly, the springtime breezes sing

How deeply, the distant mountains breathe

There are so many things to show to you,

One of these days. . . .

Vancha swore softly at the chill as he stepped out into the cold winter night's air. The sun had sunk far beyond the horizon now, and if it weren't for his vampire abilities, it would be pitch black.

'Damn that boy', Vancha thought, 'if it weren't for that brat I wouldn't be half naked in the bloody snow.'

Indeed, there was snow. Just soft droplets of watery white ice, melting the moment it met his skin. He had left Harley in his tent, covered in half his animal skins, snuggled closely to the makeshift blankets he used. Damn was he sweet when he slept - it brought a smirk to Vancha's pale lips just remembering the boy's relaxed face. No try-hard bad-ass, no pretend-slut, no sign of any of the hardships he must have gone through. Just pure innocence, a smile sweeter than anything Vancha had ever known, curled up into a ball as if to protect himself from something. Someone, even.

Already a week had passed since the boy had come to the cirque. Because Vancha slept through the day and walked at night, he couldn't see Harley often - but the boy would sneak out of his chores at sunset to come to Vancha's van. They would talk, laugh, joke - just seeing the boy's smile was enough to make Vancha feel warm inside, if not cliched too badly.

The snow was getting worse. It was starting to pile on the grounds of the camp. Hibernius would have to make a decision soon about when to leave, Vancha thought absentmindedly, licking his lips and tasting the slight bitterness of acid rain from the snowflakes. Stupid cities made even the most beautiful things fowl.

Even the most beautiful, beautiful things fowl.

The most beautiful boy - a whore.

Just imagining what sort of a life Harley had before he found him - made Vancha's stomach churn with disgust and hate. Hate towards someone, people, he didn't even know. The pain, the humiliation, everything Harley must have gone through pierced Vancha as if the snowflakes were falling directly onto his heart. Dare someone hurt something as beautiful as that? Something as pure and young? Such striking, intelligent eyes, such silky black hair, such soft, sweet skin . . . .

Vancha blinked, realising he had been thinking about Harley again. Perhaps this wasn't too good. Too much affection never went the right way, never. Just like with Gannen. . . Gannen, his brother, who he loved so very much, but look at it now - a total and utter mess. Vancha often wondered what would happen the next time he met his brother. What would he say? Would they pretend to hate eachother? Would he have to fight, to kill, even. What then? Or will they never see eachother again? See, the relationship only gets worse and worse.

Maybe it was time to make a move.

He'd already stayed at the cirque a few weeks, and he'd never stayed longer than a month. He'd leave before Truska would get angsty, Evra would get clingy, and Hibernius dependent on his ticket-selling. That was how they worked. One day he'd come, one day he'd be gone. Disposable. That's how he liked to be.

Vancha sighed into the sky, leaving a milky white swirl of vapour which froze in the air, swift and brief, disappearing in a whisp to leave the clear darkness as it was before.

'You're leaving, aren't you.'

Was the first thing Truska said. Her hair was down, falling onto her turquoise blue nightgown, eyes strangely empty and cold, as if she knew about this days ago. Vancha stared back at her, blinking. He had always gone to Truska first when he had to tell someone of his leaving - but this was the first time she had known about it before he even told her. Hibernius would know precisely when he was leaving, but that was because of his powers.

'Did Hibernius tell you?'

'. . .Come inside.'

She span around and went inside, leaving the door open for Vancha.

'You know that Harley isn't going to like this, don't you?'

She sighed, passing Vancha a hot milk mug. Boiled fresh milk with whipped cream on top. He sipped a little, yowled at the burn on his tongue, and burped.

'Yeah.'

'You know that he likes you a lot, don't you?'

'. . . . . Yeah.'

'You know how much you mean to him, don't you?'

'. . . For god's sakes, Truska, YES.'

'And still you're leaving him.'

'. . . I have to.'

'Why. Why do you always have to leave?'

'Because. . . '

'Because you're scared that you're going to start depending on him. Because you're scared that you're going to start liking him. Because you're scared that he'll start meaning a lot to you. Because you're scared of losing him.'

'Truska. . .'

'No, Vancha. I'm not letting this one go. If you leave now, you're going to lose him at any rate. And as for the other fears - it's too late. You're already starting to depend on him. You're already liking him more than you should be. He already means a lot to you. If you leave him now, you're only hurting your own feelings, let alone ours.'

Truska said in one breath in her own strange tongue, staring fixedly at Vancha with her cold, sea-grey eyes. There was a silence. Long, and so very quiet. Snow erases all sound as it makes its way to the ground. Snowy nights are the quietest of all. Even the wolfman wasn't howling tonight.

'. . . I know you're right, Truska, but. . . . this is just my way. He can't start depending on me. He has to find someone else. Hib will take care of him. Evra will be his friend. He doesn't need me, it doesn't have to be me.'

'That's what you think.'

'If I leave him now, he won't be as attached - if he does become attached, Truska, I couldn't, I couldn't. . . I couldn't stand it. I couldn't live. If he dies before me, it would kill me. If I die before him, it would kill him. If I care for him, I'll become blind, I might choose him over the clan -'

'Clan, clan, clan. It's always about your clan, isn't it? Why don't you take him, for god's sakes? Is being a vampire prince so satisfying? Have you ever thought of retiring, Vancha? Have you ever thought of settling down somewhere with someone, and NOT being the hero for a change? NOT risking your life, NOT risking others' happiness, NOT risking your own happiness? You're always like that. You were like that with me. You chose the clan. If you love the clan so much, leave, and don't come back here to give me hope. Don't come back here to pick up random boys off the street who won't be able to live without you! It would have been so much easier for me if you just wouldn't come back! It would have been for his good if you just left him alone!'

'Are you saying he was better off selling himself on the streets, are you?'

'YES! I'm sure you have no idea how much it hurts to lose someone you love, though, Vancha. I've lost my family, I know. I feel like I lose you every time you leave, because I don't know you'd ever come back alive. If you made that boy love you, and you leave him - you're making him lose someone he loves! The FIRST person he's loved! Do you know how much that hurts? You don't, do you? Because you've never loved anyone!'

'Truska!'

'. . . . . . I have nothing else to say, Vancha. If you came to tell me you're leaving, I know. If you came for my opinion, you have it. Now leave.'

The next day. Vancha woke up earlier than he always did - just an hour or so before sunset began. He decided to do his daily sunbaking now - and stepped outside.

The camp grounds were still light, bits of squishy snow from last night still lingering on the ground and glistening in the afternoon sun. Most of it was scraped to the side, mingled with dirt and not looking almost as mysterious and beautiful as it did last night.

'Vanchaaa!'

The voice came exactly simultaneously with a thump on his back. Evra had full-body tackled him, grinning his scaley full-face grin. Vancha picked him up, swung him around once, and grinned back.

'Whatcha up to, Evra?'

'Making a snowman! It snowed, Vancha, it snowed!'

Evra exclaimed, swinging his little arms around in frantic excitement, eyes sparkling like emeralds in the sunlight.

'Indeed it did.'

'I was making snowmen with Harry all day!'

'Oh? What about your chores?'

'We had a day off!'

'Day off?'

'Yeah! The adults told us to go away and play, because we'll get in the way.'

'In the way of. . .?'

'Cleaning up.'

Evra grinned again, as Vancha lowered him to the ground. Cleaning up? Cleaning what up?

'Morning, sleepyhead!'

Cold, slim hands slipped over Vancha's eyelids. Vancha grinned.

'Morning, Harley. God, your hands are freezing!'

Vancha grabbed Harley's hands, took them in his own, and rubbed them warm. Harley blinked, then pulled his hands back quickly.

'I-I'm fine! I'll just pop them in my pockets, they'll be fine!'

'Okay, then,' Vancha smiled.

'Hey! You're out in the sun! Aren't you supposed to turn to ash, or shrivel up, or melt or something?'

'I'm fine if it's just for a few hours, didn't I tell you?'

'Hmm. . . You did?'

'Who's the sleepyhead now?'

Vancha rolled his eyes - Harley chuckled, and then in a sudden rush, as if remembering something important, opened his mouth.

'We're leaving, Vancha! We're heading south!'

'So Hibernius decided to move?'

'Yup! I get to leave my hometown, Vancha! Something I wanted to do all these years - I hope I'll never see this place again.'

The way Harley said that, the slight flickering darkness in his eyes - made Vancha's heart sink a mile.

'Heey, aren't you excited Vancha? We're moving! We're going somewhere warmer, perhaps a huge big town, perhaps near the great river! Oh - I've never seen the great river before, wouldn't it be great if it was warm enough and we could swim in it? Well actually, I can't exactly swim, but you can, right? So. . . ,' Harley smirked, another one of those shrewd, seductive looks in his eyes, 'you can always teach me -'

'I can swim too, Harry! I'll teach you!'

Evra exclaimed excitedly, tugging at Harley's sleeve. Harley laughed.

'Er. . . Thanks Ev - and - by the way, my name's Har-LEY.'

'Haarr lee?'

'Har-LEY.'

'...Har-lel ler ar.. larley... Nuu, I like Harry better!'

'Okay, okay,' Harley sighed, flipping his hands up in resignation.

Vancha watched the boys' conversation absentmindedly. Alright, so the cirque was moving. Perhaps Hibernius read what Vancha was thinking, and decided to make it easier for him. There wasn't a better time for him to leave - there would be no left-behind-business, and everyone would be too busy to notice him gone. But how was he going to tell Harley? Harley would definitely notice. Evra was used to him coming and going, but - how was Harley going to take it all? No, he knew what Harley was going to say. Vancha wondered which was more terrifying - the thought of telling Harley of his leaving, or the thought of explaining to the boy why he can't take him.

By evening the campgrounds were cleared. The adults were exhausted, and had gone to bed early in preparation for the long traveling day tomorrow. However, five people were still awake - Hibernius had planned for them a little party, to celebrate the official joining-in of Harley (although Vancha suspected Hibernius had created some time for him to tell the boy about the leaving).

They were at the beach, in the middle of the night, baking marshmallows. There couldn't have been a stranger sight. A vampire, an insanely tall cirque master, a blonde woman, a scale-covered snakeboy and a teenage boy all sitting down around a little fire on the beach, toasting marshmallows.

'Oooooowwwwww! It burns!' Evra squealed, sticking his long slim tongue out, tears in his eyes as he glared at the molten marshmallow.

'There, there,' Hibernius smiled, stroking the snakeboy's hair, passing him a cup of water.

'Fuuuuuuuuuck!' Harley blinked, as his last marshmallow melted off his stick and disappeared into the fire with a pop and a sizzle. Truska raised a warning eyebrow at Harley, who quickly corrected himself 'I meant FUG. Isn't it nice to not have fug in the evenings?'

'Idiot,' Vancha laughed, passing Harley his own stick, 'here, have these.'

'Score!' Harley visibly 'squee'-ed, swaying in his spot and lapping at the soft, hot marshmallows.

A few meters away from them, the moon illuminated the soft salty bubbles and sparkling seawater as they slid over the silver sand and lapped at the pebbly beach. Tiny white crabs scuttled across the sand, reflecting the moon rays and shining like little lightbulbs in the clear darkness.

Hours passed like minutes, minutes like seconds. Evra ran around the beach, chasing the crabs around. The others sat around the weak cracking fire, watching the snake boy stumble and splash in the winter water.

'Look Mister Tall! The white seamonster can only walk sideways!'

'Really?' Mr Tall smiled, a loving twinkle in his eyes as he watched over the little boy.

'Mr Taaaaall! Come! Look, the seamons---- OWCH! It bit meeeee! Oooowwww,' Evra screamed, waving his scaly arms around trying to flick the crab off his hand.

Mr Tall sighed, got up and walked over, swiftly tending to the urgent situation. Truska hummed softly, eyeing the crab Mr Tall managed to take off a squirming, squealing Evra.

'Mmm, that crab look good. Better go fetch it, soup for tomorrow!'

She flashed a meaningful glance at Vancha before grinning at Harley, flicking her sandals off and running off towards the other two.

An awkward silence followed. Vancha scratched his head and burped, watching Truska, Evra and Hibernius chase little white crabs over the beach.

'They look just like a little family, don't they?'

'...They sure do.'

More silence. Okay, Harley is NOT chattering his head off - this is scary, weird, and eery. However, this may be the chance Vancha was waiting for.

'Harley. . . . I . . . need to talk to you.'

'You always talk to me anyway?'

'But Harley. . . I. . .'

'Oooh, Cormac said that we can travel in his van tomorrow - apparently it's a long journey, and his van's really comfy! You don't want my pretty arse to get demented, do you now? And you know what? He's driving, so he won't be in the van! Truska's got her own van and Ev's going in Tallguy's van, so I guess it's just the two of us. . . hey?'

'Harley. . . .!'

Vancha's breath caught in his throat when he felt Harley's cheek rest against his shoulder. It was warm. It was soft. The feeling was so natural and so perfect, that the vampire wished absentmindedly that it would stay like this forever. He knew how stupid that sounded, but it was sincere. However, Harley moved his head up a little, this time brushing his thin, soft lips over Vancha's earlobe. Needless to say, this sent violent shivers up the old vampire's spine.

'Vancha. . . . Don't look so serious. . . ' the boy whispered, each vowel and consonant forming its unique caressing whisp, brushing past Vancha's ear and making him gulp, 'I'm happy as we are. . . . I don't want anything to change, I don't like it when you don't. . . . don't look like you're about to say something funny. When you look like you're about to cry on me. Please stay the way you were, Vancha. . . .'

'Harley. . . .!' Vancha tried extremely hard to add a touch of a warning note to his voice, but it came out a husky whisper.

'Vancha. . . ' Harley whispered into the vampire's ear again, then breathed along the neck, the collarbone, up the chin . . .

Vancha had almost passed out by the time Harley was up to his lips. He decided to ignore the feeling growing in his lower body.

'Harley, I. . .'

The rest was muffled into a grunt by Harley's lips. It was a brief kiss, soft and sweet - Harley smiled against Vancha's lips, then swiftly ran his warm, wet tongue over the vampire's dry lips. To Vancha, it seemed as though time stopped right there - as they gazed into each others' eyes, and for that moment, that moment only, everything inside him melted into understanding, and he was left totally speechless. When Harley opened his mouth to whisper again, Vancha could feel every single word the boy pronounced.

'Vancha, I love you just the way you are. I don't want you to change. . . .Please don't change. . . Please don't say anything.'

It was then that Vancha realised how shaky the boy's voice was. His eyes were wet, his voice was cracking and his body was trembling all over. Vancha grabbed his arms, and pulled the boy into his chest, stroking his back comfortingly.

'I won't, Harley, I won't. . .'

Fuck, fuck, fuck, Vancha bit his still-moist lip - there was one thing he was damn sure of, and it was that he could never bring himself to tell Harley about leaving.

A.N. (contd) - Shut up. I was sleepy. And desperate. ...I wonder what's going to happen next chapter. Ahahahaha. Shiiiiiiiiiite. TT

I can continue because of the reviews I get - so keep them coming, pleeease:D

KurdaSmahltlover

Of course I remember you! I'm glad you like this story - and I've ALWAYS had a Vancha obsession. It will never win over my Kurda obsession, though! Muaha. OH! Was that YOUR story? Wooh. You come up with the craziest, funkiest things! I grovel in your existence.

Green eyes

Yes! Vancha really should be God. He's gone through so much. O.o Poor thing. The rating's not going to get any higher, I don't think. . . There are some other stories I switched the rating of, but I don't think I will make it go higher for this one. Thanks for reading and reviewing! 3

Showjumper916

XDDDD I'm glad you think it's warm and fuzzy. I'm trying my hardest to make it warm and fuzzy, not sleek and dirty like ToL... O.o Yup, Harley has a tattoo on his bum. But I guess Truska and Harley made up afterwards XDDD

SugarInMyTea

Your reviews flatter me too much! Really, I don't deserve such praise. XD Evra is the cutest thing in existence. Don't you just love him and his bubbles? XDDD I'm sorry though about the double-e-mail (I think?) for this chapter O.o It would have gotten you excited twice? Disappointed? One of the two. I'm sorry. I'm sorry it took so long, and thanks for reviewing!

millie-sama

Thanks XD Erm... Well... if he has other tattoos, I guess that's for Vancha to find out. XDDD

yayfulness

I'm glad you love Harley! If you want to borrow him, he'll make you pay a LOT of money... or lollies. He'd do anything for lollies.

viper and teal

Thankyou! I love you too! XD

Kirin the Vampiress

Two Vanchas? TWO? That would stink the whole world down, man! Arse? Well, that's a polite way of saying ass. XD WOH, you too? I was voted most perverted and psychotic in my grade. XD Oh yes, book 9 pissed me off SO VERY MUCH. It was really ugly. Great writing, but still painful. Yup, Harley is pretty hawt! I think. Yeah, since he had to sell himself. XDD Yes, Inyx is making me write all these slash stories, and if you want to send her hate mail, don't, because there's no way you'll win an argument with Inyx. Aand... No, I'm probably not going to finish Amaris. I WILL privately, like write it and all, but just for my pleasure. I don't think I'll update it. Sorry :(

Salvatore Shan NW

Awww, Chris. XD and I thought I'd found a real-life Harley. Well, my brother's like Harley, if you want to know. I based Harley on my brother! Mmm, I don't know if I can surprise you - but I hope I will! Thankyou for your encouragement, as always.

Inyx

Don't worry, it took me 2 years to figure out what that phrase meant. XDDD We've already talked about this story so much... I don't think there's much to say. . . XDD

True, shagging Vancha would just get him dirty and smelly again. Poor Harley. 'Vancha always shags me like this' XDDDDDDDDD I hope it will become that. O.o It's kind of... Hell-ish right now. Ew. XDDD SQUEE! His prince in smelly deerskin riding on !#$#!)98$#& (cough) I'll stop...now. Yes. We shall talk this over on MSN. Eep, I forgot to comment on Harley's clothes XDD I think he's just wearing Cormac's old clothes. Gasp, I also forgot to put in random french. ToT SORRY!

Yes, I really should make it up to Tall some time. . . What have I done so far? Half-kill him with Evra's cooking. O.o NOT GOOD. I'm sorry, Hibbie!

The Freaky Butt Mate

Yes, I updated! For a nice change. XD

I'm so glad you like Harley so much! Harley seems to be popular, but as he belongs to Inyx (as long as she pays him and feeds him lollies), you can't have him. x.x; Sorry. . .BUT! More hyde, just like you wanted XDDD LOVELESS ROCKS! SOUBI NEEDS TO BE NEUTERED BEFORE HE GOES ANYWHERE NEAR RITSUKA-CHAN!