Redemption for a Weary Soldier
Disclaimer: I do not own FFX-2 or any of its characters
Chapter 6
When morning light reflected colorful promises of strength and courage from the snowdrifts piling around the pair, Paine and Baralai began their descent down the mountain trail. "Where are we going?" Paine asked after thirty minutes of silent travel.
"I spoke with Elder Khimari once, before Shuyin completely possessed me. He had a proposition regarding the clan's cubs, Lian and Ayde. Before they ran off, they were expressing an intense interest in the world around them and Elder Khimari wanted to know if I knew of someone, a tutor of sorts, who would come to the mountain and train the pups to the ways of the world. Back then, everyone was so caught up in the conflict between New Yevon and the Youth League, I highly doubt anyone would've dropped their beliefs to go babysit a few Ronso children."
"But now you have a person in mind?" Paine asked mildly. Her right hand rested on the hilt of her sword and her left hand was tucked behind her back as she strode lazily along the mountain path. After being cooped on the airship, glued to a screen hosting a map, Paine was thoroughly enjoying the pure bliss of liquid movement.
"Yes, me," Baralai responded to her inquiry. His stride was also languorous and he seemed to be enjoying the crisp cool air of the sacred mountain.
Paine chuckled lightly. "Somehow, I have a hard time picturing you both as a babysitter and as a teacher."
"Why is that?" he asked tilting back his head to examine the cottony clouds overhead.
"You may have everyone else fooled, but I know how little patience you really possess. One repeated question from the little tykes would irritate you to no end," she replied.
Baralai was quiet for a moment. "Perhaps," he responded, his gaze latched to the air. He turned and looked at her for a moment before asking, "And what about you?"
Paine dropped both her hands to her sides and looked down at the ground around her feet. She hadn't really thought about whether she was really going to stay on the mountain or not. She had come here purely by instinct. Rikku and the others were probably worried; perhaps she should go back and let them know that she was all right…
The thought of facing Rikku after what she had nearly done to the girl sent cold shivers down her spine. The feeling aggravated Paine who did not like to act on emotions (she would rather forget she even possessed such weakening aspects). But at the same time, the pure dread that lanced her heart overwhelmed her feelings of aggravation enough that she didn't feel comfortable with going back to the Calm Lands. At all. At least not yet, anyway.
She sent a sidelong look at the former praetor who patiently awaited her reply. Can he really help me? She wondered to herself. Mentally, she shrugged off the question. She didn't need any help after all; she was fine by herself. All she needed was a little time to herself to sort through the situation. "I will talk to Elder Khimari," was her response. "Perhaps I can train for a while on the mountain. Alone." She annunciated the last word slightly. If Baralai took the hint, he didn't show it.
The two continued following the zigzagging snowy trails. Paine had changed back to her normal outfit before heading off. Staying in the berserker costume for too long sometimes made her feel like licking her paws and chasing her tail, which, being human she didn't really feel comfortable doing. The icy wind prickled the exposed sections of her skin sending goose bumps dancing along her flesh.
"Here," Baralai had taken off his outer robe and was handing her the article of clothing.
"I'm fine," Paine said brusquely, slightly unnerved by how acutely perceptive he was. She hid how she felt well, especially when it came to physical discomfort. Growing up an orphan, she had long ago learned the advantages of shrugging off bodily pains.
Baralai seemed nonplussed by Paine's rejection (which was a bit harshly denoted on her part), but neatly folded the jacket and hung it over his arm. "Why do you do that?" Paine asked with a hint of irritation in her voice.
"Do what?" was Baralai's intelligent reply.
"You put on a show for everyone," Paine said gesturing to the jacket, which he had sacrificed for her sake. "Just because I am cold doesn't mean that you have to be as well."
"Ah, so you are cold," Baralai replied with a smug grin.
Paine gave him a deadpan glare. "You seem so put together and oily smooth on the outside, but I'm not fooled, Baralai. No one is perfect, especially not you."
Baralai didn't let the grin slip from his face, but Paine could sense the twinge of hurt that suddenly glimmered in his eyes. She felt a little guilty. "I am by no means perfect," he said shifting his coat to his other arm. "I simply know what to say and how to say it."
"Why don't you just say what you want?" Paine asked brushing back a strand of hair that had fallen into her face.
"Because…" Baralai averted his gaze back to the sky overhead. "If I did that, then I'd be like you, and Spira can't handle more than one Paine at a time." He grinned sheepishly.
"Oh no you don't," Paine said catching his arm and stopping him in his tracks. She observed his amber eyes intently and snorted lightly. "You accuse me of being so emotionally unstable, yet look at yourself. You are so concerned about what everyone else thinks of you that you can't even speak your own mind."
The grin slipped from his face and shock replaced it. Paine doubted anyone had ever pushed an accusation of that magnitude into his face before; people were normally so dazzled by his charming smiles and silky words that they could hardly reach beyond the surface. Thinking back, Paine realized that Baralai had been the same way with all of his former Crimson Squad members. She had been so consumed with Nooj that she hadn't really noticed how distant the former praetor was, even to people he claimed a close bond to. She cocked her head to the side (in a fashion eerily akin to Rikku) and narrowed her eyes.
"You won't let anyone in, will you?" she asked as the pieces began to drop into place. "You've built a wall of mirrors around yourself, haven't you? You try to confuse people by their own reflections so that they won't notice the real you sitting inside."
Baralai's face had set into a grim line. So far he hadn't spoken a word, but now he did. "You assume to have me figured out, just like the rest of Spira! To everyone I'm either that man who tried to cover up lies and conspiracies, just like Yevon, or I'm the man who created the lies and conspiracies in Spira! Even when I was merely trying to protect people from getting hurt Nooj, Gippal; even you assumed I was the source of the problem! Why would anyone want to get to know the traitor who nearly tore Spira to pieces!" Baralai's breathing had become slightly ragged as he ranted. He took a few more soothing breaths and looked at Paine who wore a triumphant grin as she let him calm down. He sighed and gazed down at his hands, which were fidgeting with the hem of the coat he still carried. "I guess I do kind of close myself off, don't I?" he admitted and met her gaze evenly.
"You don't have to push away everyone," she said. "We aren't all out to get you, you know." Another few awkward moments passed between the pair who had paused in their trek to argue.
Baralai studied the morning sky and Paine studied the edge of the path, which dropped off into a very deep hole. Suddenly Baralai looked up again with his usual endearing smile, a bit more genuine this time. "I suppose we're both a couple of emotional basket cases, huh?" he asked. Apparently Paine wasn't the only one who was having epiphanies about her true nature. "Truce?" he offered the robe back to Paine who simply glared coldly at him. "Just take it!" he threw the article of clothing at her head and strolled onward.
Sunsets on the Calm Lands weren't anything spectacular (they certainly dimmed in comparison to the sunsets on the Mi'ihen Highroad), but when one was located at the far western side of the open plains, perched haphazardly on the edge of the sheer cliff that just dropped into the boiling waters of the ocean below, it wasn't half bad.
Rikku lazily swung her legs back and forth over the edge of the cliff as she studied swirling waters and jagged rock peaks reflecting shards of rubies and pink diamonds into the sky above. One leg actually sat atop the cliff side and sported the weight of her chin as she rested her head upon the limb. Absently, she played with the loose shoestrings of her boots as her thoughts gravitated around the center of one subject: Paine. Well, if she were totally honest with herself, there were actually two subjects that occupied her mind: both Paine and Gippal. But mainly she thought and worried about where the silent warrior had suddenly disappeared to.
And why was Gippal all of a sudden making it a point to always be at her side, practically from the moment she stumbled sleepily out of the bed, to the moment she sleepily stumbled right back in?
As if on cue, the crunching thuds of boots on gravel approached her from behind. She sighed inwardly. Once upon a time all this fuss and affection would've made her heart do acrobatic flips, but now, it was just annoying, perhaps because his gestures seemed so similar to the way Brother had treated her every day of her life. She felt Gippal's presence behind her, he paused a moment before settling down next to her. "You know, you probably shouldn't sit so close to the edge," Gippal said, worry threading his carefree tone.
"Yeah, well you shouldn't bother people who are trying to think!" Rikku responded and stuck out her tongue.
Gippal chuckled at the cute face she pulled. "Don't strain yourself," he replied earning himself a sound punch right on the shoulder. "Ow," he said rubbing the offended spot. "You know, I think you're putting a little bit of muscle on this puny little string you call an arm," he pinched the skin through the ribbons tied up the lengths of her arms.
Rikku pulled her arm back to her, crossed them and sat in a huff lapsing back into her quiet state. Gippal watched her a moment more before leaning back in his arms and looking out at the setting sun. "You've never been one who was able to keep your mouth shut," he said glancing back over her way. "What're you thinking about?"
Rikku shrugged. "Paine," she answered and went silent again.
"You know, Shinra and I have been analyzing the data from that day," he said, "It seems that right before Paine jumped in after us, the pyrefly concentration was growing exponentially. About the time we found that machina, the readings were off the chart. Maybe she saw a ghost and got spooked or something," he suggested.
Rikku shook her head, "That would definitely not be like Paine," she said. "Besides, that wouldn't explain why she took off all of a sudden."
"Maybe she was too proud to admit that she got a little scared?" Gippal proposed.
"Nah," Rikku shook her head and went quiet again. Gippal studied her for another moment. Was it just his imagination, or did a faint hint of pink blush graze her cheeks?
"What?" Rikku snapped, meeting his gaze with her own fiery one. "You know, you've been acting pretty weird ever since that whole incident," she said.
"Oh yeah, how so?" Gippal challenged her with a smirk.
"Well for one, you are always following me around," she said. Gippal opened his mouth to retaliate but she gave him a pointed stare as to his current location.
"For another, you've been going way out of your way to be nice to me," she said causing Gippal to frown.
"Whaddya mean?" he asked, "I'm always nice to you!"
"Sure except when you liked to make fun of me in front of Brother and Buddy when we were little and you called me 'princess' in front of all the other kids!"
Gippal chuckled at the fond childhood memories. "Hey, give me a break, I was just a kid."
Rikku gave him a sly look. "I think you liked to poke fun at me back then because deep down you really liked me," she said sagely.
Gippal tilted his head to the side before cracking a smile, "Well, what if I did?" he asked.
Rikku, definitely flustered now opened her mouth, closed it again, opened it again and turned away, her whole face beet red. "Nice fish imitation," Gippal said flicking her ear, which was also red around the outer rim. Rikku didn't respond, she just huffed again and went back to sulking.
A silence wove its way between the pair; a silence that wasn't completely uncomfortable, but which still held unspoken words between them. Finally, Gippal broke the silence. "Do you remember that night in Bevelle?" he asked. Rikku crinkled up her nose, she remembered the smell quite distinctly, before nodding. "Well, I've never had anyone…take care of me the way you did that night," he said quietly. Rikku's eyes widened in surprise. "I've always been pretty much on my own," he continued referring to his past of being orphaned at a fairly advanced age, puberty to be exact, when it hit hardest. "Hell, Cid's been the most of any kind of father figure I've ever known, and we both know how poor of a role model that guy is," Rikku nodded in concurrence. "But that night, when you didn't leave my side…and then the next morning when you tried to stand up for me…I guess that I feel kind of indebted to you," he finished and flashed her a sheepish grin.
Rikku sighed and clenched her fists. "So you've been following me around and being extra nice to me because you feel indebted to me?" she asked between gritted teeth. An unexpected anger boiled within her. She scoffed lightly before mumbling, "And here I thought you just cared about me."
"Hey," Gippal took both sides of her face in his hands and gently turned her head to face him. "Look at me," he commanded when her eyes were stiffly locked onto the ground below. She flickered her eyes to his face and he felt a slight jolt of shock when they glistened with a sheen of unshed tears. "Rikku…" he whispered suddenly at a loss for words.
"Don't," she pushed his hands away from her and stood up. "You have no idea what you do to me," she said. "You have no idea how hard I've always worked to try and make you smile, especially after your parents died. And when I could tell that you were thinking about them and your eyes were sad, a part of me just wanted to die. That night…in Bevelle…I bet you don't even remember how you held me and told me that I was the only one who made you truly happy," her voice cracked slightly, "and then to find out that you simply feel indebted to me!" She cast her eyes to the ground praying that he wouldn't see the rivulets of tears swimming down her cheeks. "And in the gorge," she whispered, trembling slightly, "Right before I fell, right before I passed out, I didn't even care that I was probably going to die, all I could think about was how that stupid Divebeak was going to hurt you like it did
me."
This time, the silence between the two was heavy and pregnant with tension. Slowly, Rikku turned toward the airship. Her heart ached mostly because she had just bared her soul to the man who had somehow stolen it. When had these feelings grown so deep? She remembered having a small crush on the Al-Bhed when he was a boy, but until just then, when everything was thrown out on the line, she didn't realize just how far-reaching those innocent emotions had traveled.
Not that it mattered now. She inwardly grinned without humor. He probably wouldn't be shadowing her anymore.
A hand shot out and captured her wrist. "Don't leave just yet, please," Gippal's voice was thick and when Rikku looked at him in surprise, his expression was unreadable, expect for his eyes, which appeared…happy? "I remember what I said," he admitted. He moved closer and carefully placed both his hands on her upper arms cautiously sliding them around her frame until she was caught within his embrace. She returned the hug with a bit more hesitancy. "I didn't know…I thought all this time you just felt sorry for me…because of my past."
Rikku had leaned her head against his shoulder. "Stupid…" she mumbled relishing the smell of spices and dust embedded in his skin. Her own hands clasped together behind his back.
When he released his hold on her and leaned back, Rikku was so caught up in his tender gestures that she didn't even notice it when his hand gripped her chin, tilting her head slightly backwards. Her eyes did widen briefly when she realized that she could make out the finer details of his face: that dimple right above his left cheek, his good blue eye with its swirled pupil boring right through her thoughts (not that she really had any at this point). His lips grazed hers and any coherent thought she had miraculously held onto up until that point was swept away as the fiery rush of liquid sweetness coursed through her body. She felt lightheaded and faint as any remaining words left unspoken between the two Al-Bhed were suddenly bared, shared, and reciprocated.
Dreamily, a vision of both Yuna and Paine drifted through her mind. She had seen the former High Summoner with a smile on her face as brilliant as Rikku now felt. But Paine's haunted countenance snagged at her conscience.
Oh well, all she could do now was wish the warrior a portion of the happiness and peace she felt right then.
AN: Sorry, I simply could not help myself, I love Rikku and Gippal couplings! But, their tender moments will have an impact on the story later on, I promise. After all, how else will Paine and Baralai realize what they're missing out on?
On a side note, does anyone absolutely love Inuyasha like I do? I went out, bought the newest movie and watched it three times last night! Yes, I am a dork.
Also, I've started another game on FFX2 hoping to gather more insight into the character of everybody in the game and I realized that there isn't really an ocean beyond the cliffs of the Calm Lands; apparently that was just something I just made up in my head… But I will go back and edit out my little error in the other chapters later. It would probably be easier just to leave it in, but I am very firm on writing a fanfic in context with the game or show. I absolutely detest original characters and manipulations of the original landscapes simply to fit the author's whims. I enjoy the challenge of trying to create a story that is realistic within the bounds of the original world and I strongly feel like anything added by the author to be a weakness in the plot.
But enough of my ranting. I have a question and anyone who answers it for me will forever have my gratitude: How in the world do you put breaks in between the scenes? I used to just use asterisks, but that was before started automatically editing out stuff like that and now I feel like the flow of my story is awkward and confusing. I would really appreciate any advice on this matter!