"What?!" Dallas turned toward me, then to the doctor, "what?"
Steve pulled the man closer to him by the collar of his white coat, "A baby, but how is that possible?"
The older man jerked away, "You heard right. Skye had a miscarriage, I'm so sorry sweetheart."
"Good Riddance." I muttered, but my voice faltered and rose with emotion. The result was a strained, almost whining pitch.
"I'm sorry. I know this must be hard for you." The older man rubbed his balding head and gave Dally a sympathetic look.
"Don't get any ideas, Doc. I ain't the kid's dad." The greaser said quickly, emphasizing ain't.
The doctor shrugged, patted my foot and walked briskly away. He was muttering something about teen pregnancies under his breath.
"Aw, shut it!" Darry called after him, then approached me, a stormy look in his eyes.
"What?" I asked him, hugging my waist and glancing at him.
"You're really a broad?" Winston assessed me coolly, his eyes wandering over my chest with a vigor that made even my cheeks turn hot.
Then I caught Ponyboy's sorrowful look and nearly gagged. I wasn't one to be pitied.
"What, you embarrassed a chick can beat all your asses?" I huffed, watching Dally's eyebrows come together sharply.
That was good. Anger I could take. Hot searing, unfeeling rage- that I could stand. But not pity, never pity.
"Not much of a chick to have had a bastard child! Don't you even care?!" Steve asked me, walking away in disgust. His words burned like molten lava.
"That's right, leave. I don't need anyone's help, not some greaser's precious aid borne of guilt. You know you're right Pony. I don't take charity. When you feel the * pain * I'm feeling right now, then you'll understand. I didn't give a shit about that child, I'm tough. Not like you sissies- walking away." I ranted, delirious in my pain and wrath as my vision blurred.
Dallas turned suddenly and tore the sheet out of my grasp, "You're not tough. Don't think you are, not for a second."
He looked a moment at my exposed thing legs and shapely figure than left.
Ponyboy's gray eyes met mine while I lay prostate and vulnerable in front of him, "It wasn't pity, Carson. It was shame. for you, that's what I was thinking."
His words left me cold.
"Leave!" I whispered fiercely, my voice broken.
And leave he did.
I silently closed my eyes, forcing my golden locks back behind my ears.
The urge to bawl was so strong in me that I almost choked with emotion. There was a jackhammer in my chest I was sure couldn't be my heart because it * burned * like acid rain and silver flames.
No, I wouldn't cry. If I was ever tough, I'd show no sign of weakness. Not now, not ever.
Suddenly the door creaked open and I rushed to get myself under control. Dallas and Ponyboy walked back into the room. Behind them was a man of pure muscle. His face was strained as he glanced at me. I could feel his concern from across the room.
Ponyboy gulped as he hung his head and whispered, "Sorry, Carson."
The older man standing above him nodded and dragged Ponyboy away with a disapproving glance as Dally.
"I'm Ponyboy's brother, Darryl. Talk to me if he gives you anymore grief." Darryl walked away, making Ponyboy put a band-aid on his cut.
"Who's the father?" Dallas asked, displaying slight curiosity though I could hear sarcasm in his tone.
"Ace." I shrugged, "Everyone knows him."
A shadowed look crossed Dally's dark eyes.
I wanted him to leave. To get out and let me be alone with my grief that was tearing me apart from the inside.
"He don't give a shit about anybody." Dally's voice was low and accusing but I could hear the surprise in it too. Ace chose his girl friends strictly on beauty, right now I didn't look any more beautiful than a squashed slug.
"I know." I said, trying to cuss but my resolve was weakening, "The jackass."
"You should care" A voice inside my heart spoke suddenly, "It's your baby that's gone. Your blood, that's been spilled. How dare you not care?"
"I'm.." Winston was struggling with words, "You don't have to be tough."
"I'm not tough, remember. I'm fake." My voice was cracking, and my steady gaze was faltering, "It's all lies. I wanted that baby..my baby, more than I admit. Wanted it more than anything.Damn it."
Dallas suddenly pulled the tie from my hair, roughly so that I winced. But his fingers were so gentle that they trembled against my golden locks of hair. The soft whips fell against my cheeks and down my back. I wondered, aghast, exactly what Darryl had told his friend.
"I was wrong." The was an admission I'd only hear twice from Dally the greaser in the course of my life, "You're tough"
I jerked away from his touch, fearing he could hear my heart pounding unreasonably fast. The glare I gave him was fearful and angry. I could even imagine hearing the sarcasm dripping from his voice. At least I hoped to god it was sarcasm. Dallas looked stricken and snapped out of his trance.
"Whatever baby. Why don't you hit me up once you get out of this hell hole? There's better places to go down than this, you know what I mean baby, girl." He gave me a provocative look and left. But the scene seemed somehow staged.and fake. Like his hear wasn't really in this vulgar routine he was putting on.
"Fuck you." I called after him, pulling my hair back in jerky motions.
Tears came to my eyes again but I kept them at bay. I bit my knuckle until it bled, feeling the pain course through me like blissful distraction. I tasted blood in my mouth and choked back a sob. The pillow beneath me sank under my weight as I lay back. This time I really was alone.
But the voice from my heart was speaking distantly again, "Never.You'll again be truly alone."
Then I remembered Dally's shaking fingers caressing my hair like a tremor of pleasure through my soul. His touch burned with passion as hot as wild fire. Something stirred inside me, easing my grief. My baby was gone, but in it's place rose something new and beautiful.
(Ya'll can draw your own conclusions from this statement, can't ya?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Narrator's POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What took you so long?" Ponyboy asked, his gray eyes curious. Dally looked at Darry meaningfully, a warning.
Now what was the right way to answer?
"The broad wouldn't let me go." He shrugged in a 'What are you gonna do about it' manner, "She loves me."
"You like her?" Ponyboy asked before Darry started the truck. The noxious smell of carbon monoxide drifted past, complimenting Dally's mood.
"No." He could have said more but Ponyboy didn't need to know. The kid was uncannily sharp.
Skye might've been sharp and rough but she was still a soc. Maybe Sodapop could with a soc girl but not him.. Besides, Soda was Soda, handsome as ever.
Skye's hair was nice but her figure was fat (from child) and she looked a mess. No, it would never work out.
"She hit on you?" Ponyboy's curiosity was brimming over.
"Yah, yah, that's how it went kid. I'm out." Dallas lit up as he stared into the sky. One thought crossed his mind, "The Skye was beautiful today."
Steve pulled the man closer to him by the collar of his white coat, "A baby, but how is that possible?"
The older man jerked away, "You heard right. Skye had a miscarriage, I'm so sorry sweetheart."
"Good Riddance." I muttered, but my voice faltered and rose with emotion. The result was a strained, almost whining pitch.
"I'm sorry. I know this must be hard for you." The older man rubbed his balding head and gave Dally a sympathetic look.
"Don't get any ideas, Doc. I ain't the kid's dad." The greaser said quickly, emphasizing ain't.
The doctor shrugged, patted my foot and walked briskly away. He was muttering something about teen pregnancies under his breath.
"Aw, shut it!" Darry called after him, then approached me, a stormy look in his eyes.
"What?" I asked him, hugging my waist and glancing at him.
"You're really a broad?" Winston assessed me coolly, his eyes wandering over my chest with a vigor that made even my cheeks turn hot.
Then I caught Ponyboy's sorrowful look and nearly gagged. I wasn't one to be pitied.
"What, you embarrassed a chick can beat all your asses?" I huffed, watching Dally's eyebrows come together sharply.
That was good. Anger I could take. Hot searing, unfeeling rage- that I could stand. But not pity, never pity.
"Not much of a chick to have had a bastard child! Don't you even care?!" Steve asked me, walking away in disgust. His words burned like molten lava.
"That's right, leave. I don't need anyone's help, not some greaser's precious aid borne of guilt. You know you're right Pony. I don't take charity. When you feel the * pain * I'm feeling right now, then you'll understand. I didn't give a shit about that child, I'm tough. Not like you sissies- walking away." I ranted, delirious in my pain and wrath as my vision blurred.
Dallas turned suddenly and tore the sheet out of my grasp, "You're not tough. Don't think you are, not for a second."
He looked a moment at my exposed thing legs and shapely figure than left.
Ponyboy's gray eyes met mine while I lay prostate and vulnerable in front of him, "It wasn't pity, Carson. It was shame. for you, that's what I was thinking."
His words left me cold.
"Leave!" I whispered fiercely, my voice broken.
And leave he did.
I silently closed my eyes, forcing my golden locks back behind my ears.
The urge to bawl was so strong in me that I almost choked with emotion. There was a jackhammer in my chest I was sure couldn't be my heart because it * burned * like acid rain and silver flames.
No, I wouldn't cry. If I was ever tough, I'd show no sign of weakness. Not now, not ever.
Suddenly the door creaked open and I rushed to get myself under control. Dallas and Ponyboy walked back into the room. Behind them was a man of pure muscle. His face was strained as he glanced at me. I could feel his concern from across the room.
Ponyboy gulped as he hung his head and whispered, "Sorry, Carson."
The older man standing above him nodded and dragged Ponyboy away with a disapproving glance as Dally.
"I'm Ponyboy's brother, Darryl. Talk to me if he gives you anymore grief." Darryl walked away, making Ponyboy put a band-aid on his cut.
"Who's the father?" Dallas asked, displaying slight curiosity though I could hear sarcasm in his tone.
"Ace." I shrugged, "Everyone knows him."
A shadowed look crossed Dally's dark eyes.
I wanted him to leave. To get out and let me be alone with my grief that was tearing me apart from the inside.
"He don't give a shit about anybody." Dally's voice was low and accusing but I could hear the surprise in it too. Ace chose his girl friends strictly on beauty, right now I didn't look any more beautiful than a squashed slug.
"I know." I said, trying to cuss but my resolve was weakening, "The jackass."
"You should care" A voice inside my heart spoke suddenly, "It's your baby that's gone. Your blood, that's been spilled. How dare you not care?"
"I'm.." Winston was struggling with words, "You don't have to be tough."
"I'm not tough, remember. I'm fake." My voice was cracking, and my steady gaze was faltering, "It's all lies. I wanted that baby..my baby, more than I admit. Wanted it more than anything.Damn it."
Dallas suddenly pulled the tie from my hair, roughly so that I winced. But his fingers were so gentle that they trembled against my golden locks of hair. The soft whips fell against my cheeks and down my back. I wondered, aghast, exactly what Darryl had told his friend.
"I was wrong." The was an admission I'd only hear twice from Dally the greaser in the course of my life, "You're tough"
I jerked away from his touch, fearing he could hear my heart pounding unreasonably fast. The glare I gave him was fearful and angry. I could even imagine hearing the sarcasm dripping from his voice. At least I hoped to god it was sarcasm. Dallas looked stricken and snapped out of his trance.
"Whatever baby. Why don't you hit me up once you get out of this hell hole? There's better places to go down than this, you know what I mean baby, girl." He gave me a provocative look and left. But the scene seemed somehow staged.and fake. Like his hear wasn't really in this vulgar routine he was putting on.
"Fuck you." I called after him, pulling my hair back in jerky motions.
Tears came to my eyes again but I kept them at bay. I bit my knuckle until it bled, feeling the pain course through me like blissful distraction. I tasted blood in my mouth and choked back a sob. The pillow beneath me sank under my weight as I lay back. This time I really was alone.
But the voice from my heart was speaking distantly again, "Never.You'll again be truly alone."
Then I remembered Dally's shaking fingers caressing my hair like a tremor of pleasure through my soul. His touch burned with passion as hot as wild fire. Something stirred inside me, easing my grief. My baby was gone, but in it's place rose something new and beautiful.
(Ya'll can draw your own conclusions from this statement, can't ya?)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Narrator's POV~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What took you so long?" Ponyboy asked, his gray eyes curious. Dally looked at Darry meaningfully, a warning.
Now what was the right way to answer?
"The broad wouldn't let me go." He shrugged in a 'What are you gonna do about it' manner, "She loves me."
"You like her?" Ponyboy asked before Darry started the truck. The noxious smell of carbon monoxide drifted past, complimenting Dally's mood.
"No." He could have said more but Ponyboy didn't need to know. The kid was uncannily sharp.
Skye might've been sharp and rough but she was still a soc. Maybe Sodapop could with a soc girl but not him.. Besides, Soda was Soda, handsome as ever.
Skye's hair was nice but her figure was fat (from child) and she looked a mess. No, it would never work out.
"She hit on you?" Ponyboy's curiosity was brimming over.
"Yah, yah, that's how it went kid. I'm out." Dallas lit up as he stared into the sky. One thought crossed his mind, "The Skye was beautiful today."