At those words Ian hesitated, noticeably.
"What's wrong?" Cassie asked him, noticing it immediately.
He forced a smile, but felt like he was on the defensive, even though she hadn't said anything yet.
"Those words always seem to start a conversation that ends with 'we can still be friends…'"
Instead of smiling like he'd figured she would, Cassie gave him a serious look that made his stomach clench.
"Do you want to break up with me?"
"What?"
His mind was racing as he tried to remember anything he'd said that might have started this, but he honestly couldn't think of a thing.
"Are you unhappy with us…?" Cassie asked him.
"No," he said, honestly, confused. "Why would you ask such a thing?"
"We haven't dated all that long…"
"You're tired of me already?"
That hadn't taken long, had it? No matter how much he expected this day to come, Ian hadn't expected it so soon, and he wasn't prepared for the ache he felt in his stomach. Almost like he was going to be sick.
"I'm not tired of you, Ian," she said, reading his expression and feeling a glimmer of hope, although she was better at hiding her emotions than he was. "I just need to know where we're going…"
"I don't understand."
"I bullied you into dating me."
"What? No you didn't. I-"
Cassie smiled.
"Yes, I did. I saw you, and wanted you, and went for you – even though you'd made it perfectly clear that you weren't interested in dating anyone. Especially me."
"It wasn't like-"
"I got what I wanted. You. Gorgeous. Brilliant. Responsible. Matu-"
"An arrogant asshole."
"Don't interrupt me, Ian, it's rude."
Of course, she made no mention of the fact that she'd already interrupted him several times.
"You're not an asshole," Cassie continued, reaching out and touching his leg. "But I do wonder if you're regretting me bullying you into being my boyfriend…"
Ian frowned.
"What makes you think that? I've never said-"
"No." she interrupted him, again. "You're good to me. If I need held, you're there. If I need help, you're there. If I need loved… well, you get the point."
Now he was confused.
"Then why-"
"I'm leaving soon for college."
"I know."
"And I don't have anything from you."
"What?"
Cassie scowled.
"What was the last thing you bought me?"
"Dinner."
"And before that? Do you remember?"
Of course he did.
"Flowers."
"And before that?"
"What are you getting at, Cassandra?"
"Every present you've ever bought me is something ethereal – non-tangible. Flowers wilt and eventually have to be thrown away. Dinner gets eaten, and that's the end of it. Candy, movies, stuff like that are all enjoyable – especially with you – but they don't last. I don't have a single gift from you that I can touch, or hold – or take out at night when I'm missing you and use it to feel closer to you. And I know you've done that on purpose."
He didn't deny it. It was, after all, the truth – but he hadn't thought she'd notice.
"I didn't want you to feel tied down to me."
"What?"
Now it was her turn to be confused.
"You're going off to school, and you're going to meet a lot of guys. Smart guys, who aren't assholes, and aren't so distracted by other things that they'll barely have time for you, and will know how to know what you need without asking. Eventually, you're going to realize the mistake you made, and I figured if there was nothing tying you to me – nothing material – it'd make it easier for you to break up."
She stared at him.
"Are you out of your mind?"
"No. I'm just looking out for you."
"Ian Michael Brooks, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard." She got to her feet and glared down at him, angrier than he'd ever seen her before. "What the hell makes you think that I've made a mistake? Do I look so stupid to you that you don't think I can figure out for myself what I want?"
"I-"
"Do you honestly think I'm too retarded to know how I feel?"
"Cassan-"
"I happen to think I made a pretty good choice, mister, and if you have even a quarter of the smarts that all the people around you think you do, you'll get me something to prove it. A sweater. Or a ring. Or a necklace, or earrings, or a hat, or shoes or even a goddamned Chia Pet."
"But-"
"I'm not a child," she said, her eyes flashing angrily. "You of all people should know that."
"I know you're-"
"Then stop treating me like one! I'm not so fickle that I'm going to go off to college and throw myself into the arms of the first guy that comes along, you know. Do you really think so little of me?"
"No, of course I-"
"Then you'd better prove it," she told him. "And I mean it."
She didn't say another word. Instead she stalked to the door, opened it and left, slamming it behind her.
Eyes wide, and feeling as if someone had just whacked him in the back of the head with a tree trunk, Ian stared at the door for a long time.