A/N: Very good reasons behind the title. Warning: May produce, sniggering, giggling, laughter… or hysterics (depends on what you're humour is like)

Chapter Fifteen Bounded Fates and Flushing Toilets

Harry shuffled along the corridors, dragging his feet behind him because he did not want to have to face the other students. His footsteps sounded eerie, as if the ancient school was devoid of all life.

Ordinarily the school would be full of gossiping students without a care in the world; talking about teachers, detentions the opposite sex and the weather.

Harry was certain Hogwarts would never be the same. In the blink of an eye everything had changed. The halls that he once called home were now cold and uninviting. He couldn't wait to leave. Memories that he once held dear haunted him everywhere he went.

It was raised voices that disturbed Harry's daydream and yanked him into reality. He stopped like a concerned rabbit and listened. With a certain amount of dread and curiosity, Harry recognised the voices.

Curiosity won over however and Harry took a few quick steps towards the conversation.

"You had no right to place the spell on Harry," growled a voice Harry knew to be Godric Gryffindor.

"He wasn't complaining," Salazar returned.

Establishing the fact that he was being talked about Harry had no qualms in listening in on the conversation. He took another few steps and stopped by an open door. Peering in he saw the two founders, quite alone, sitting on a pair of desks facing each other.

"He is a boy… Salazar… a boy." Godric stood and cupped his hands behind his back and started to pace.

"He is almost a man," Salazar Slytherin returned, watching his once close friend pacing.

Gryffindor winced and stroked his beard and glared at Salazar threatening. "But you had given him no choice." Slytherin returned his friends cold look, so Gryffindor was prompted into continuing, "He does not know the impact of what you have done."

"Do you think for one moment that…that…that…" Slytherin gestured uselessly about the room, "boy has any chance of fighting Voldemort without my support?"

"That is not the point, Salazar!" Gryffindor stomped his foot angrily, "You took advantage of his ignorance."

Slytherin cleaned his nails in response.
"Salazar I won't be ignored!" Gryffindor growled. He grabbed the collar of his friends' cloak.

Salazar calmly brushed Godric's hands away lightly, with a long exaggerated blink of his eyelashes. "If you don't mind, Godric."

Godric let Salazar go and stepped a few paces away and wrung his hands with a cry of outrage.

"Salazar, the boy is bonded to you via your blood."

Salazar blinked slowly.

"Can't you comprehend what you've done for pity's sake?"

"I've given him a fighting chance, Godric." Slytherin stood and smoothed his robes. "That is more than he had before."

Before Harry realised Slytherin was coming towards the door straight at him, their eyes locked. Harry fought gallantly to keep the surprise and guilt of his face. Salazar however frowned deeply then with a scowl he looked over his shoulder at Godric. "Here's your chance to remedy his ignorance." And with one last appraising look Salazar swept out from the chamber.

Harry watched Salazar Slytherin leave, feeling confused and dazed. The founder however didn't glance back at him. Harry narrowed his eyes he dearly wished he could understand what was happening around him.

"Come in, Harry." Harry opened the door a crack and squeezed through the opening. Godric looked tired and worn as he glimpsed up at the younger wizard. Harry could instantly see that there was a lot on Godric's mind.

"Sir you don't have to explain if you don't want to," Harry blurted quickly, immediately wishing he had not spoken as the words escaped his mouth. Godric stared at Harry for a long moment and Harry shifted uncomfortably.

"No," Godric said almost sadly, "You need to understand. Come. Sit."

Harry perched on the chair Godric indicated to and waited for the founder to start to speak.

"Harry…" Godric's voice sounded oddly like gravel. "The spell Salazar cast over you was a binding spell."

Harry nodded; he already knew this but did not wish to interrupt the founder as he spoke.

"Spells by blood bindings are powerful."

Harry nodded again; feeling both insecure and dumb but he didn't have words to say anything meaningful.

"Tell me Harry, did he cut you?"

Harry shook his head and because it sounded insufficient mumbled, "No."

Godric smiled gently to no one in particular then sighed heavily, "Well that is a relief."

"Why?"

"Because it means…" Godric paused and looked at Harry, "Because it means that you are only bound one way not two ways…"

Harry blinked slowly. "What does that mean?"

Godric drummed his fingers across the wooden desk. "It means that only his blood protects you… He is bound to you… but you are not bound to him…DAMN IT!"

Godric kicked the nearest wooden desk over and it keeled over with a mighty crash and thump. He yelped in pain and grabbed his toe and swore a vicious oath that Harry had never heard before. "Hell's fire and tin kettles!"

"Erm…" Harry stood and stared incredulously at Godric Gryffindor. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, peachy," Godric murmured in reply, remembering himself asking the same question and Harry's strange outlandishly retort.

"He's a crafty one, Slytherin," Godric continued still rubbing his bruised toe. "He made me believe the whole time that it was a two way sharing …. The bastard!"

Harry continued to stare but was not sure if it was okay for him to leave. Godric waved at the door and Harry taking this as a dismissal turned to leave.

Wanting to be alone, instead of with humans Harry headed towards the bathrooms. It was a strange place but he figured no one would look for him there.

He pushed the swinging door open viciously and stepped through before the door could slam shut on his back. Feeling odd and stupid for hiding in a toilet and very depressed with everything that had happened to him, Harry went and leaned over a sink with a heavy sigh.

"My dear, that is a heavy sigh," a sweet voice commented.

Harry spun mortified and came face to face with Helga Hufflepuff. He was sure he was in the Male toilets! He cast his eyes carefully about the small room with a jolt realised he was in the correct toilets meaning Helga was in the wrong ones!

"Lady Hufflepuff this is a male toilet," Harry squeaked pointing to the sign on the half open door.

"My dear, I'm not literate."

Harry could only stare, his eyes almost falling out of their sockets.

"It means I can't read," Hufflepuff explained carefully.

"Er…there's a little man on the sign… the ladies have a skirt…"

"Not if they're Scottish toilets," Helga added innocently.

It took all of Harry's will power not to double over into hysterical laughter. Instead he nodded his head as if Helga's comments were perfectly reasonable.

Encouraged by Harry's apparent understanding, Helga dashed forward and grabbed Harry's hand. "And look at this!" she cried as she bundled a bewildered Harry Potter into a toilet cubical. Very slowly as if what she was about to do was an Oscar winning moment, she placed her long white finger on the shiny button on top of the toilet and pressed.

She clapped her hands as she watched the cyclone of water go around and around and around. She glanced over to Harry a thrilled expression written all over her face.

"Isn't that amazing?" she gasped clapping her hands in delight. Too shocked to answer Harry nodded his head dumbly and Helga pressed the button again and split Harry's eardrums with a squeal of delight.

"Oh I must show Rowena. She'll love this!"

"Yeah sure…" Harry ducked under Helga's armpit and escaped from the overexcited Hufflepuff and happened to glance at himself in the mirror.

Harry clapped his hands over his eyes. But when he looked back it was the same… his reflection had been replaced by the boy he was hallucinating about last time. Staring. Just staring through lifeless hazel eyes…

"Helga…" Rowena Raven popped her head in through the door.

Harry hardly recognised the other founder. He stared intently into the mirror and murmured, "I'm mental… mental…" he closed his eyes but when he opened them the boy as still there. "I'm going mad."

Amused, Rowena stepped into the bathroom. "No you're not," she said gently, "The reflection you see is Salazar… it's apart of the blood bonding."

Harry looked to Rowena then to the reflection. "It doesn't look like Salazar…"

"That was before he had to change his features," Rowena explained loftily now eying Helga jumping up and down in the cubicle. "He's a wanted wizard, you know."

"Helga, exactly what are you doing?" Rowena asked trying her best to sound harsh. "This is a male toilet…"

Helga looked up from the flushing toilet. "Harry told me that… I tried telling him I couldn't read…" she shook her head but then her eyes lit up playfully.

"Rowena you have to see this!"

Hell's fire and tin kettles - is a family cursing oath from great-great gran pappy or something like that!