Lost belongs to JJ Abrams and crew. I'm just borrowing for some non-profit fun. After Sawyer and the others return to the island, he finds Kate has finally chosen Jack. Post Exodus II. (The events that lead up to previously posted stories –Incarceration, Interim, Ineffable) Enjoy!

Lost – Infected

By Mystic

July 2005

Chapter 7

Kate grimaced and gave a small shout of pain as the infant on her left nipple bit down harder than usual. She wanted to call out to Claire, but the woman was down the beach walking with Aaron. Charlie was trying to teach him about the ocean, which didn't work because Charlie didn't know much about the ocean. Kate started to pull the girl back away from her chest, but her hand came up and grabbed hold of her hair.

"Dammit, Maggie!" She shouted in frustration. The baby released her hair and began to cry loudly. Kate froze, slipping her breast back into her bra quickly before shifting Maggie in her arms, so her head rested on her shoulder. Patting the baby's back, Kate waited, hearing her wailing in her ear. "I'm sorry," she whispered repeatedly, feeling her own eyes welling up with tears.

She found herself wanting to stuff the baby in the sand to keep it from screaming, which only made her cry loudly with her daughter. Loud enough to have Sawyer come crashing through the jungle and stumble along the sand, staring at her with wide frightened eyes. "What in the hell are you bawling about?" He shouted at her.

Kate gestured towards the child. "I don't know what to do with her."

"You fed her?" Sawyer asked, watching Kate nod her head, tears running down her cheeks. "You changed her?" Kate nodded again. "You burp her?" Kate shrugged.

"Jack usually does. I try, I try and she doesn't burp, she either screams louder or she vomits."

"Maybe you ain't doing it right," Sawyer shouted, taking the baby out of her arms and bringing her up to his chest. He clapped a large hand down on the small body three times gently and heard her let out a burp in his ear and then squeak of relief. Kate dropped her head onto her knees and her shoulders shook violently as she cried more. Sawyer fell on his knees, touching her back. "Kate?"

"I can't do this!" Kate shouted into her legs. "I can't be a mom. I suck at it. I can't make her burp, I can't make her smile, I can't make her do that giggle thing she does when she sees Charlie, Jack or Hurley. All I'm good for is a tit to suck on and a diaper change."

Kate knew she was five months old today. Old enough to start holding her own head up and to grin at people with those wide lips and stare at Sawyer with bright hazel-green eyes. She glanced over in time to see him poke Maggie's button nose and the little girl dropped her head back quickly, making him jerk in response, shifting her in his arms so she lay down and gurgled up at him.

"She doesn't do that for me," Kate added with another round of sobs. She felt Sawyer put an arm on her shoulder and he hugged her tightly, trying to make her feel better, but it only seemed to make her cry harder. Kate lifted her head and whipped her eyes, looking over at Sawyer, who was staring at the baby. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" He asked her with a snort.

She took Maggie and held her against her chest. "For being a moron."

"Kate, you're not a moron," he told her flatly.

Standing up, Kate started to walk away from him, but he stood and followed. She turned to look at him every few seconds and he started to grin, kicking at the sand as he went. Suddenly he stopped and frowned, going back from where they'd come from, towards his shelter. Kate lowered her eyebrows, confused. She felt the waves lap at her bare feet and she looked down. "Dammit," she muttered, seeing her shoes where she'd been sitting before.

"Hey Kate!" Claire shouted over the waves just as she was going to turn back.

Smiling, Kate shifted Maggie and watched as Claire and Charlie approached with Aaron. The little boy had wild blonde curls, bright blue eyes and milk-white skin just like his mother. Kate didn't know what of him belonged to his father. "Hey," she responded weakly.

"Wee one not letting you get much sleep, is she," Charlie told her with a frown.

Kate shook her head. "She sleeps well, actually."

"Then," he pointed at her face. "You look like you've been crying."

Her vision fell to the sand and then to the ocean and then to Claire, who stared at her with an understanding that jolted her. Claire handed Aaron to Charlie and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "How about you take him to the caves? Jack wanted a look at how his rash is doing?"

"Oh, his rash is fine, it's all cleared up, checked this morning," Charlie told her, flashing a proud grin.

"Charlie?" Claire warned, her eyes going wide.

The man looked from one woman to the other and nodded his head. "If you wanted to do the girl talk, all you had to do was tell me to bugger off, I'd have gotten the hint. I'm not a complete idiot, you know?" He sounded upset, but he ended his sentence with a grin that made Kate smile. Charlie hoisted Aaron onto his shoulders and took off into the jungle talking about guitars.

Claire took Maggie from Kate and started walking down the beach. Kate felt empty and she crossed her arms over her chest awkwardly not really knowing what to do with her arms anymore. Five months they'd been occupied by a baby. "She's driving you insane, isn't she?"

Kate scratched her head, "Is it normal to have homicidal thoughts?" The smaller woman's head jerked up and Kate realized no one except Jack really knew what she'd done to land herself in handcuffs. "Claire, I'm not going to hurt her."

"Well, you know, you're a… you know… and you had… you know… and…"

Raising a hand, Kate nodded. "I get it, Claire." She let her hand drop and then she raised it again.

"Don't know what to do without her, do you?" The blonde smiled at Kate, seeing her arms fumbling against each other for something to occupy them. "Here," she handed Maggie back to her and Kate embraced the infant, kissing the top of her head. Maggie laid her head down on her mother's collar bone and closed her eyes, sticking her thumb in her mouth.

"I love her to death, it's just, I don't know how to be a mom."

Claire grinned sheepishly. "Looks like you're doing just fine." She nodded her head back, "Not like I knew what I was doing and Aaron's turned out just fine. He's speaking now, you know."

"Really?" Kate whispered. "What's he saying?"

"Tar."

"Tar?" Kate questioned, lowering her eyebrows.

Claire nodded. "I think he's trying to say guitar; it's what he calls Charlie."

The duo shared a laugh before heading towards the caves. Kate watched when Claire approached Aaron. The little boy turned his head before they'd even made a sound, as if he knew she was coming. His lips broke into a wide smile and he wiggled away from Jack to wobble towards his mother, wrapping his arms around her legs as best he could and he looked up at her, resting his chin against her right knee.

Kate smiled, knowing soon Maggie would be a year old. She'd be wobbling around, looking for her and Jack. She felt Jack rub her left shoulder and her head drifted to look up at him. He grinned down at her, touching Maggie's back before planting a kiss on Kate's lips. She brought a hand up to his neck and pulled him into her, careful about their daughter between them. Kate felt her little girl tickling her neck and she looked down at her, seeing the small smirk playing on the girl's lips.

…

Finis