Harry Potter and the Nerd's Rock Collection
The Letters From Dumbledore... I Mean No One
It was a week since Harry deliberately made the glass on the Boa exhibit disappear. It was about time that the mail came, and he was sent to get it.
He looked at everything: bills, birthday invitations for the hippo-eater, a.k.a. Dudley, a Playboy magazine (Harry threw it in his cupboard even though it was Uncle Vernon's), and a letter that said:
MR. HARRY POTTER
SOMETHING
THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS
SOMETHING
(A/N: I don't know what it said on the line with "SOMETHING" written on them, and plus I don't have the book with me right know.)
He walked in, gave Uncle Vernon the mail, and kept his letter to open it when King Kong snatched it from him.
"Harry's got a letter, Harry's got a letter!" Godzilla roared.
"Please," Uncle Vernon said. "Who'd be writing to you besides that school that we didn't want you to know about for ten years?"
He looked at it, and was a letter from the school that they didn't want him to know about for... take a deep breath... ten years.
Immediately, he ripped the letter in two, put it in a conveniently place shedder on the floor, threw the places new door where two bulldogs ate them, and the neighbors then burnt their poop. It left a terrible smell all across the block.
Harry went outside so the Dursleys couldn't say anything to him.
"Why am I always treated like... like..."
He looked around to see if anyone was listening.
"A slave."
Just then, a football hit his head. He looked up to see a black boy, who we should name Dave, came running up to him. He was Harry's only friend, because they met the night that Harry was placed... sorry, DROPPED on the doorstep on 4 Privet Drive.
"Sorry, Harry," he said. "I just heard that 's' word and I went crazy, so I threw the football at you."
"Oh," Harry said. "You'll never believe what happened. I got my first letter, and Uncle Vernon ripped it up."
"Cool, I mean, cool, I mean, co- I feel sorry for you. Those people treat you like my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather."
"Like a slave?"
WHAM! Dave him punched him in the face, causing him to fall back.
"Sorry, I just don't like that word."
In the days that followed, Uncle Vernon tore up every letter that requested Harry into pieces.
Finally one day, while Harry was looking at the Playboy magazine that he hid in his cupboard, Uncle Vernon was drilling a plank on the mail slot. Aunt Petunia was right next to him.
"Are you sure that this is a good idea?" she asked. "How are we even going to get Dudley more Playboy magazines?"
"Internet," Uncle Vernon answered quickly.
"Oh, good."
The next day, when Uncle Vernon was heading for work, he saw that his car was covered with owls with sunglasses and diamond necklaces. That's when he noticed the letters.
He burnt them.
It was Sunday, a day when no mail came. Uncle Vernon was looking happier than ever, drinking his milk while watching T.V. A commercial had come on at that moment.
A little girl was playing with her mother in the park.
"My mom had breast cancer," she said, causing Uncle Vernon to spew out the milk in his mouth.
Instantly he changed the channel the moment the letters came flying in through the chimney.
"That's it!" he screeched. "We've moving to a Motel 6!"
"But we can't afford six dollars a night," Aunt Petunia pointed out.
"Fine. The worst place I can think of!"
The only thing that came to his mind at the moment was his house, until he got an idea.
That's it. Keep sending your reviews.