Harry Potter and the Nerd's Rock Collection

Journey From Platform 9 Plus 5 Equals 2

Harry and Dave walked down King's Cross with their luggage on trolleys. They couldn't find the Platform 9 ¾ anywhere. They found Platform 9 and 10, but not Platform 9 ¾.

"Excuse me," Harry asked a man, "do you know where Platform 9 ¾ is?"

"9 ¾? You think you're funny, do you?" the man said.

"Yes," Harry said.

"Ha, ha, ha, very funny."

"Really?"

"Of course not."

"But you were laughing."

"I was faking."

"But you were still laughing."

"What does that mean?"

"That means you think I'm funny."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

Dave pulled him away from the argument.

They overheard someone talking.

"-Packed with Muggles as usual-"

They followed the family who had said it when they stopped.

"Alright, Percy," the woman, obviously the mother, said to the oldest boy. "You first."

Percy walked over to a brick wall, pressed a button, and an elevator door opened and let him in.

After two twins, Fred and George, had gone through, the youngest boy was left.

"Excuse me," Harry asked politely, "but how do you-"

"Get on the Platform?" the mother said. "Don't worry about it, it's Ron first year too."

Ron had red hair like every other member of their family.

"Just press the button on the left," she said, "make sure no one is watching, and then get on the elevator."

This would be difficult. Muggles everywhere were watching. But they didn't seem to notice the elevator, so it wasn't that hard. Soon he was on the Platform and on the train, called the Hog Farts Express (get it while it hot), and on his way to Hogwarts.

Later, while on the train, the same red hair came and asked Harry and Dave if he could sit in their compartment. They let him.

"My name is Ron Weasley," he said.

"I'm Dave, and this is Harry, so kill him," Dave said directly.

"Do you have the...the..." Ron said to Harry.

Harry showed him his scar.

"Not that the-"

Harry pulled out a large cap that said "Krazy Kirate Kaptains".

"Cool."

Unfortunately, the three K's were above and below each other, and Dave had punched Harry.

A trolleys came by carrying a whole bunch of sweets. Harry bought some of everything, which I will not name, and shared it with Ron...and Dave.

"Damn straight," Dave said.

They tried some of Bernie Mac's Every Flavor Beans and got the following flavors:

Meat pie, dirt, spit, cardboard, tree leaves, chocolate (A/N: Or so he thought.), gravy, black pepper (A/N: Dave had punched Harry again.), peanut butter, orange, and one that was turned out to be common vanilla until Harry swallowed it and his mouth was flaming with fire.

After a while, Ron wanted to show Harry and Dave a spell that he would use on his pet rat, Scabbers. When he was about to, a geeky looking girl came up to their compartment.

"Have any of you seen a West-African River toad? A cockamamie boy characterized as Neville has abstracted one."

"No," Harry said, not understanding a word she said.

"Oh, are you functioning magic?" she said. "Well let's appraise it."

Ron started to say his spell:

Who cares what he said, because it didn't work.

"Are you sure that's a effectual spell?" she asked. "It doesn't really amalgamate, does it? I've executed spells at home, and they worked for me. I wouldn't even be going to this school if I hadn't validated a letter from Dumbledore. We have a rife of books for school, and I've well-grounded them all by heart. I'm sure to do superb in Hogwarts."

Harry, Ron and Dave stared at Hermione for a long time.

"What the hell did you just say?" Ron asked.

"Sorry," she said. "My vocabulary is very elongated. I'm Hermione Granger by the way."

"I'm Ron."

"I'm Dave."

"I'm Harry Potter."

"Really?" Hermione asked. "I've read all about you. I tried to get very elaborate books, but-"

"Please, don't even get started," Ron said.

"Okay," she said. "We'll be arriving at Hogwarts soon, so get dressed into your robes. And you have dirt on your face, did you know that?"

She was talking to Dave, not realizing he was black. (A/N: He hit me for that.)

Then she walked away.

"Man," Ron said, "that girl is crazy."

"Cute too."

Harry and Ron looked at Dave.

"What?"

Send your reviews. And if you're wondering how I knew all these words, I didn't I used the thesaurus. And if this chapter wasn't good enough, I'll make the next one better. Thanks.