Harry Potter and the Nerd's Rock Collection

That Sport With Brooms In It

It was the fall, and the first Quidditch game was about to begin that day. Harry was staring at his food when he noticed Snape walk by, limping on a bloody leg.

"That explains the blood," Harry said to himself.

"Hey!" Dave yelled at him. "Do you mind? Some people are trying to eat, and what are you doing? Mentioning blood (some students heard him and got an uneasy feeling in their stomachs), guts (their stomachs churned some more), ass (they made some sickening groaning sounds), and spit!"

The students that heard him went got up from their seats and went to throw up.

"I'm just saying that I think Snape tried to get past that vicious monster dog in that corridor," Harry said. "He got bitten, and now he's limping."

"And that means what to us?" Hermione asked.

"At Gringotts, Hagrid got something out a secret vault. He wouldn't tell me what it was because it was secret."

"So you're saying-"

"That's what the dog's guarding."

Suddenly, from overhead, Hedwig came flying into the Great Hall. She had something big and long in her clutches that she held onto pretty tight. She dropped into, and the front of the passage slammed into the side of Ron's head. He fell sideways, and no one seemed to notice.

"Let's open it," Dave said.

They opened it, and it was a Numbus Two Thousand. Obviously it was from McGonagall, even though she couldn't afford it. Dumbledore bought it, but the writer was too lazy to put that in. (A/N: I'm just kidding.)

Finally, the match was about to start. The Quidditch players of Foxx came walking to the field. Harry was quite nervous.

"Nervous Harry?" Wood asked.

"Yeah," Harry.

"I felt the same my first Quidditch game."

"What happened?"

"I don't remember very well. All I remember is that my butt was hurting really bad, and my friends told me the broom had gotten in it."

"Surprisingly, that doesn't make me feel better."

"Yeah, me either."

Finally, the doors opened, and the team flew out of their brooms.

They were all in formation when the flying teacher, Ms. K. Rotch came out releashed all the balls from the container.

Once the game started it was all disorder; Harry couldn't find the Snitch anywhere, George and Fred kept hitting the Bludgers at their own teammates, and the Chasers kept getting their balls stolen, even though they were good female players.

Harry saw the Snitch, but then his broom shook so violently that he nearly fell off.

Hermione and Ron were below watching. Hermione looked over to the Slytherin section to see Snape muttering something while looking at Harry.

"It's Snape," she told Ron. "He's jinxing the broom. I'll be right back."

"Don't hurry, I'm enjoying this," Dave said looking at Harry while eating popcorn.

When Hermione got to Snape's section, she took out her wand and set the back of his robe on fire. Unfortunately, he farted, since he's the great Farting Master, and the blast combined with the fire and the flame blow Hermione forcefully into the wall. When she looked up, the seats had all crumbled into ashes, and everyone there was covered in it. They all saw Hermione, who ran away before they could actually get her.

Harry was back on his broom, and flew where the Snitch was flying. He caught it, and won the game for Foxx.

Later on, the four were talking with Hagrid during their break.

"Why would Snape try to bewitch Harry's broomstick?" Hagrid asked.

"Why did he try to get pass that monster dog on Halloween?"

"Who told you about Biscuit?"

"Biscuit?"

"He's mine. Bought some time ago, gave him to Dumbledore to guard the-"

"Yes?"

"Never mind."

"What's Chicken Wing got to do with all this?"

"His name is Biscuit, and I'll just tell you know. What even he is guarding is between Dumbledore and Nicholas Nerd."

"Who's that?"

Hagrid didn't answer.

This is one of the main reasons I have to make the sequel R-rated. It's hard to keep a PG-13 level when dealing with scenes like this. I think I'm getting that disease where the writer is writing a comedy, and his/her jokes get less funny. I hope I don't have that. Otherwise, review and thanks again!