She was now unable to express her own emotion, for she knew that once she did, after holding it in for all those years, there would be no end to her sadness; she had responsibilities now, and facing such pain would destroy her.
She had given up hope of seeing her love again a long time ago, she remonstrated with herself that he would have returned to her as soon as the war was over, knowing the heartache she endured as she had held him in that last embrace before they parted for that final time. Perhaps he was dead; he must be, he must be because otherwise he would have come back to her, wiped those tears gently from her face as she held him, clung to him, fearing that if she let him go he would once again disappear.
She had seen him since he had left; she saw him not just in her dreams, but on the path by her house, around the same time every year, always standing that little bit out of reach. She ran to him, called out to him, but every time he had gone before she could reach him, and she felt that overwhelming pain again consume her.
It had been that way for a long time.
As she lay there, with tears rolling silently down her face, memories revolved in her mind. She thought of how she had first met Antonio, how he noticed her the first time he saw her face. She thought of her resistance to him, resistance that proved futile in the end. That first kiss in the bushes, looking for snails with Lemoni, how she felt her heart thudding against her chest like a bird trying to escape a cage. Sometimes she thought to herself, wondered what it would have been like if she had carried on her resistance, if that kiss had never happened; would she still feel that same pain that she felt now? Again that question ran through her head, and again she was unsure of the answer. The tears continued to fall...
Antonio suddenly sat up. He had again had that dream... or was it a nightmare? He had again been forced to leave Pelagia, endured the pain as her figure slowly faded from his vision as the boat made its way away from the place he had begun to call home.
He had gone back there, raced back there, as soon as the war was over. A mixture of overwhelming emotions took over as he approached that bend around which she would be waiting for him. Happy anticipation, nervousness, fear... all of that had evaporated when he walked round that bend, to see her there, with a baby in her arms. She called out to him, but he did not hear it, he was too consumed by shock, by anger, by a sense of deep betrayal. All of that time he had to force himself to wait while the war continued, desperate to see her face again, that beautiful face, to hold her in his arms once again. He had to wait though, he knew it wasn't safe for him to return while the Germans retained control of the island; after all, he was supposed to be dead.
When at last it was announced that Hitler had been defeated, Antonio immediately made plans to travel back to the island, getting on the first boat he could manage. For that whole journey, he had rehearsed over and over what he would say when he finally saw Pelagia again. All those carefully practiced words were wiped from his mind when he saw her... holding that little bundle in her arms. She's forgotten me, she's moved on. He felt betrayed. He thought their love would last forever, that he would return, they would marry, have children and grow old together. But that idea was shattered when he returned to see her stood there with that little baby in her arms.
Still he returned. He reasoned with himself that it was only to place that single rose on Carlo's grave around the anniversary of his death, but he always had to see her, just to see she was healthy and happy. Yes she had hurt him, but she was his only true love, and no matter how hard he tried he could not forget that.
Slowly he got out of bed and walked in to the kitchen, looking out of the window at the stars shining so brightly in the sky above him.
Hundreds of miles away, Pelagia finally rose and walked to her window, looking at those stars shining so brightly in the sky above her.
They both stayed there for hours, the stars fading to be replaced the first rays of sunshine from the new day. Neither of them noticed. They were both lost in thought, both thinking of that love they had shared all those years ago, and wondering if they would ever let it go...