AKITO'S REFLECTION

Chapter 4

For a while I thought all that happened was just a dream. I felt so fragile, holding onto that memory, that feeling of her lips on me.

And wanting more.

I never thought I was normal. I never thought I could want anything from any girl.

It was new to me.

And even if it confused me, I was angry. Angry at everything. As usual. Because everything was unfair, and because I didn't want to be soft, nor sweet, nor fragile. I just hated everything, but I couldn't be mean to her.

"Akito." she said coming into the room, a couple of days later.

I shivered. My name on her lips seemed even beautiful. I was so lost, even thinking something like that.

"yes?"

"you wanted to see me?"

"you don't come here anymore."

"I'm embarrassed."

I looked at her as coldly as I could.

"I hate you." I hissed.

His eyes stared at me surprised.

"I'm sorry…" she said. I knew she was confused.

"you're nothing… how can you come here and play with my feelings like this… no one ever did this to me…"

"what did I do?"

"you made me weak… and needing… for…"

"for?"

I just closed my eyes. I couldn't say it.

I felt a weight land on the bed. She sat on an edge of it and watched outside the window.

"do you want me to go away or to stay here?"

Even though my mind was telling me to push her away, I just couldn't compel.

"stay here."

"even if I make you weak?"

"yeah, even if you make me human."

"it doesn't mean you're good now."

"it doesn't."

I sighed. My heart was pounding so fast inside me.

She put an hand on my chest and leaned to rest beside me. My thoughts got too confused to say anything.

"maybe I'm your punishment."

"what?" I uttered.

"I'm your punishment for all the bad things you've done… because I make you feel uncomfortable and weak."

My arm surrounded her.

"and… what am I to you?"

She smiled and came to look at my eyes.

"I don't know… yet." she whispered nuzzling my neck.

Someone came in the room at that moment.

"what are you doing here?" asked Hatori's voice, I could tell he was surprised, but mostly… scared.

I frowned.

"just leave us alone." I said in tone who wouldn't accept reply.

Hatori was pale and looked at the both of us stunned.

"just go." I repeated vehemently.

He couldn't bring himself to say anything, but he left.

I know what was going through his mind. He was wondering what I was planning. He would have been so happy to know I was as helpless as any other human being in that moment or know that I had never felt so normal and stupid in my life.

That was a long long time… sorry, I'm really really sorry… if anyone reads please tell me what you think.

And I finally put the ".." instead of -..- for the dialogues. I'll edit the other chapters with that soon, hopefully.

I don't own any Furuba character, and I didn't write this for money, so please don't sue me.