Grissom checked his watch. It was 11:45 – he considered ringing home for the umpteenth time since arriving at work. Catherine, who was sitting with him in the garage as they looked over a suspect's car, noticed his hesitation to lift a fingerprint they had found on the dashboard. She watched as he sat back in the seat, and then she leant down in the driver's window to meet eye to eye with him.

"You're worrying." Catherine stated.

Grissom raised his eyebrows in a 'well, yeah' expression. He took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose, like he did whenever he was worried or trying to make a decision. Catherine's heart ached for her friend and colleague, - he would never admit it but everyone could see the strain taking its toll the moment he had walked into the lab earlier that night.

"Gil…" Catherine said compassionately, at the same time shifting onto her knees so that her legs wouldn't cramp up, "She's going to be alright, you know that, right? She's Sara Sidle. Miss 'Indestructible'."

"I wish I could believe that."
Catherine sighed. "Well, what ya going to do? Watch over her forever? She needs help but she also needs space to figure this out on her own."

Grissom realised that Catherine was right, and after a pause proceeded to lift the fingerprint and push any worries to the back of his mind.

By 1:00am Sara was almost legless, and so Trey decided to take her back to his apartment. There was no question to his intentions, or hers for that matter – they both knew what was inevitably going to happen.

Fumbling like a virgin on prom night, Sara removed Trey's shirt as he, slightly more expertly, removed her of all clothing. The sex was quick, emotionless, and though without malice it was violent. She lay still as he thrust into her and shut her eyes tight, willing to believe that this was what she wanted. She wasn't the victim this time. She needn't be frightened.

Trey came loudly - he yelled out some blasphemous saying, snorting and panting like a dog. He collapsed onto her, almost immediately falling asleep from being spent and the alcohol. While he snored soundly, Sara wept for feeling foolish, used and stupid. Along with that, she was now in pain. She now saw the flaws in her plan. Whilst she had learnt again that a man would want to fuck her, there had been no love. There had been no saviour in that night.

Sara slid out of Trey's bed, slightly disorientated, still feeling the heavy cloud of alcohol on her senses. It was raining heavily outside – Las Vegas rain. She dressed quickly and cared little for how dishevelled she looked.

The clock in Trey's living room said it was 3:13am, so at least she could return to Grissom's, with enough time to clean up and go to bed before he arrived home. He didn't need to know.

The world spun as she walked down the numbered streets, sticking to the light of the streetlamps, the rain hammering down on her. By the time she had reached Grissom's condo she was soaked to the skin and had her thoughts firmly concentrated on getting into bed wrapped up warm.

Grissom leapt up from the sofa on the sound of a key turning in the lock to his home. The door opened admitting a dishevelled and soaked Sara, who froze on the sight of him standing there.

"Sa- What happened?" His voice was not gentle, but instead demanding and stern. Sara looked totally and utterly shocked.

"Griss-I'm sorry-I didn't expect –"

"Didn't expect what? That I'd be home so soon? If you'd been at home, or even if you'd told me where you were going, I wouldn't be!" Sara visibly shrunk back as he raised his voice, yelling at her. His face was strained and there were dark circles under his eyes. She could see now the stress that had been effecting him. "Where the hell did you go?" Sara didn't answer, frozen at his outburst. He stepped forward and seized her by the upper arms, and shook her. "What happened, Sara?"

By now Sara was trembling, and Gil felt it. He instantly let go of her arms and stood backwards. "I'm sorry-" He began, but Sara didn't look at him and instead walked to the guest bedroom, shutting the door behind her. He heard the familiar sounds of grief through the wood of the door and mentally kicked himself for losing control – he'd just been out of his mind with worry when he'd called several times with no answer.

He knew Sara needed space and so settled himself on the sofa with some tea, ready for another long night.

When the guest room fell silent, Grissom made another tea, one for him and one for Sara. He ventured in with the hope of asking her again, now that she was calmed down, what had happened that night.

On entering the room, however, he saw that she had curled up in the corner of her bed against the wall, in a rather uncomfortable position – yet somehow she seemed to be sleeping soundly. Leaning over her, he saw with an ache in his chest that her face was streaked with tears. Her hair and clothes were still soaked from the rain.

He threw a blanket over her and left the cup oftea on her bedside table, but as he turned to leave, her sleeping form stirred. "Mmph?"

Gil turned and met her sleepy gaze. "Hey."

Sara sat up and took the coffee, giving him space to initialise the converstation.

"Look…I'm sorry for going off at you before. I-you just worried me, that's all. I called here several times and you didn't answer at all. I thought you were in the bath at first but when a couple of hours passed I thought maybe…maybe-" But he couldn't bring himself to say it. Instead, he changed tack. "Where did you go?"
After a pause, at which Sara gazed into her mug contemplating her answer, she replied, "Out."

"Out where?"

"It doesn't matter." Sara's reply was too quick. He noticed that her hands were shaking as she placed the cup back on the bedside table.

"Please tell me what happened." Grissom asked her. "You know you can trust me not to-"

"Think less of me? You will."

"Won't."

Sara bit her lip and paused, fidgeting and concentrating on the threading of the comforter on her bed. There was a moment of silence where Gil let her gather herself.

"I went out to sleep with a random guy." She blurted, all too suddenly. "I needed to prove to myself that…that-" Here her voice halted and she angrily wiped at the tears on her cheekbones. "That a man could still love me. But I didn't. All that I proved was that men can have sex with me – it's not a question of 'love'." She looked up to a corner in the ceiling and tried in vain to blink away her tears.

Grissom found himself unable to speak and therefore didn't try.

"I-I didn't mean to worry you. I did it on impulse, I know it was stupid, I just needed to-" Sara flooded, ashamed of herself. Gil put his palms up to stop her.

"Stop. I know. I just…I don't know what to say that could help you." He admitted, helplessly. "I don't know what to do, Sara."

This didn't help any, of course. Sara turned her face away to try and hide it but he could see her body tremble as she cried. When she spoke, her voice was thick with despair. "Please don't give up on me."

Grissom moved from where he had been seated on a chair next to her bed, to sit beside her. "No, no I didn't mean that. I will never give up on you." He sighed, reaching for her hand again has he had once done when she had told him about her parents. "I want to help you so bad but I don't know how. I'm….I'm not experienced with this. I'm hardly experienced with other people, let alone other people's problems!" Gil tried, a watery grin on his lips. She sighed, and leant against him, emotionally and physically tired. Sara had soon enough fallen asleep against his shoulder, the steady rhythm of his heart beating and his breathing as her lullaby.

Okay I know it's a short chapter. Thanks to you people who reviewed...if any body has any ideas where this should go please e-mail me! And of course please please PLEASE review because it's great to have feedback. I know it's very out of character, I have never been a very good fanfiction writer. Plus it's kind of difficult to approach such a raw subject with two of the most enigmatic characters on CSI! But I'm trying to make it work!

As I said please give feedback so I know how to shape the last few chapters up, being a bit of a perfectionist, me, I would love to proverbially shave off the rough edges on this piece so that more people can enjoy it just as I have been lucky enough to enjoy a lot of amazing fan fiction on here! That reminds me - check out CSINut214's stuff, (I think that's his/her name!) it's flaming amazing, even if you're not into GSR most of the stories are a good chuckle. Very clever andwitty writing there.

Anyhow I must be off to jobhunt for the summer- ciao, keep writing and happy reading! from Mochaccino Girl xx