I do not own Smash Brothers…since I keep borrowing it from other people.

As the laughter settled down, they noticed that many women had entered the mansion without their knowledge. They were pampering Kirby, feeding him large strips of bacon.

"Where did they come from?" asked Mewtwo.

Falcon snapped his fingers. "He's a pimp! He can summon hookers!"

The women stopped their pampering and their necks to stare at Falcon.

Falcon stared back.

"What?" he asked. "Am I wrong?"

The women remove themselves from Kirby's side and blitzed Falcon. While ordinarily one would tire out quite quickly, beatings administered to Falcon by women tend to last over 15 minutes.

Mewtwo grinned widely. Some mornings, it was good to wake up early. He turned to Kirby and sipped from his mug.

"It wasn't a pimp," pointed out Mewtwo. "You inhaled a hip-hop star."

Kirby nodded and made a muffled response.

"Are you unable to speak?" asked Mewtwo.

Kirby opened his mouth. Two rows of giant gold-capped teeth barricaded his mouth. They perfectly captured the reflection in its vicinity with astonishing clarity.

"I see," said Mewtwo. "This will make it more difficult to retrieve said hip-hop star. It will also make it more difficult to relate your tale."

Kirby waved a hand and one of the women stopped beating falcon. She reached into her pocket to withdraw a digital camera and hooked it up to the living room plasma television.

Kirby could not believe his luck. Not only did he score free tickets to see "Rap Man" and "Gold Brick Teeth," but also after the show, they invited him to the backstage dressing room.

He did feel a little guilty bribing his way byusing Falcon's pictures ofPeach in her underwear. He reminded himself to expose Falcon's misdeeds. It can wait a couple of days, though. He hated Peach.

While he waited patiently, he looked around the dressing room. The wardrobe clearly indicated their hip-hop roots. So many diamonds and gold, one would think they were the Cave of Wonders from Aladdin, the only bright spot of that movie.

Then he heard a door opening, and there was Gold Brick Teeth talking with his assistant.

"Sue," he said, "I need you to reschedule the public dissing of Granite Fist from Tuesday to Friday."

"But sir," interjected Sue, "He already cleared his schedule!"

'Teeth nodded. "I know it's a hassle," he said, "just call his people and tell him."

His assistant sighed. "Fine," she conceded, "he'll want a favour."

"Whatever," he said, "usually he just asks for minor things."

He sent her away and faced Kirby.

He looked him over. "So you're Kirby, the Star Warrior, huh. Sounds like a rapper's alias."

Kirby smirked. "Who would think that? I'm pink!"

'Teeth chuckled. "If a white guy can become a multi-platinum artist, it's gonna be a matter of time before you start to shine."

Kirby smiled. It was not often he get complements. Usually the Smash Mansion was full of jerks.

At that moment, Rap Man entered the room. He greeted Kirby. "Yo, Kirby! Dawg, you're my favourite player in 'Melee."

"Thanks," said Kirby, "though I wished they hadn't tone down my character's lethalness."

"I hear that," agreed Rap Man.

"Hey," said 'Teeth, "Can you really imitate the people and things you inhale?"

"Yes," replied Kirby, "why?"

"Can you inhale Rap?" he asked. "I gotta see it happen!"

"Wait man," argued Rap, "Why me first? I want to see too!"

"A'ight," proclaimed 'Teeth, "we'll flip a coin."

He takes a quarter from a drawer and shows it to Rap to prove it was not fake.

He flips the coin.

"Heads," called 'Teeth.

It landed on tails.

"Damnit," exclaimed 'Teeth. "Lady Luck, why have thou forsaken me?"

"Quit stalling man," said his partner.

'Teeth grumbled. "Alright, do it."

Kirby inhaled 'Teeth and started to flash. When the light cleared, Kirby was a miniaturized, pink version of 'Teeth.

Rap clapped his hands and howled in laughter.

"Holy Shit," he shouted, "that is da bomb! Me next!"

Kirby waved his arms frantically and mumbled indecipherable words.

Rap furrowed his brows in worry. "What's wrong?"

Kirby peeled back his lips. The reflection of light nearly blinded rap star, but he knew what was going on. Like any rap star, they capped their teeth, with gold. Kirby's teeth were like that to the hundredth power.

"Oh shit, man!" exclaimed Rap. "We have a booked club in two days!"

Kirby jumped up and down.

"Okay, calm down. Tomorrow you go to this address." Rap scribbled down on a piece of paper and handed it to Kirby.

"That's where 'Teeth got his caps. I'll tell them to expect you," he said. "They'll drill through that sucka and then everything will be cool."

Mewtwo clicked stop on the VCR remote. He turned towards the women fawning over Kirby.

"Which one of you hid in the dressing room to record this?" he asked.

A brunette raised her hand.

"You do realize that this is not Gold Brick Teeth, correct?" he asked.

They nodded their heads in affirmation.

"So why," inquired Mewtwo, "do you pursue the company of Kirby."

"HE'S SO CUTE!" squealed the women.

"…."