Disclaimer: I own nothing. I've learned to accept it; you should too.

Chapter 4

Jess walked into the apartment and shrugged out of his leather jacket. He tossed it on a large pile of clothing and collapsed onto the bed. He pulled the book out of his back pocket and opened to where he had left off. He fumbled around on the end table for a pen and immediately began making notes in the already full margins.

The door opened and slammed, causing Jess to look up with mild interest. Luke stood there with his hands on his hips and a towel slung over his shoulder, looking very angry. Jess just smirked at Luke and went back to his book.

Luke stood there for a moment before he stalked over to the answering machine and pressed the play button. Again, the secretary's voice filled the small apartment.

"My name is Julia and I'm calling on behalf of Stars Hollow High School. Now that the withdrawal process is complete for Jess Mariano, we need someone to come down to the school and clean out Jess's locker. If his possessions aren't cleaned out by the end of the week, they'll be disposed of appropriately. Thank you."

Jess looked up and said, "I guess I'll have to go in. I have a few books that I really want in my locker."

"Is that all you have to say?" Luke barked, walking over to the bed and looming over Jess. "Were you even going to tell me, or were you going to let me go to your graduation and be very confused?"

Jess shrugged. "Seemed like a viable option."

"You dropped out, Jess! You have less than a month left and you dropped out! Why? To work at Wal-Mart for the rest of your life?" Luke said, flinging his dishtowel into Jess's face.

Jess calmly removed the towel and stood up. "It's no diner, but it works."

"Hey, this diner is mine, pal. I own it. I built this business. I'm damn proud of it. As opposed to you. You have nothing to be proud of!"

"Well, thanks for pointing out the obvious!" Jess exclaimed, finally getting mad. "Look, I had to drop out. I missed too many days. I can't graduate. It doesn't matter. I am not going to miss that place."

"You're not going to have a chance to miss that place, because here's what's going to happen. You'll live here another year. You're going to repeat your senior year. You're going to pass. You're going to graduate. That's what's going to happen." Luke commanded, his posture and voice still revealing how angry he was.

"No!" Jess said. "I'm not going back there!"

"God, Jess!" Luke exclaimed, throwing off his baseball cap and running his hands through his hair in frustration. "You're the smartest kid I've ever met. You read more than any human being on the planet. Why the Hell do you act so stupid all the time?"

"I guess it runs in the family!" Jess shouted.

"Hey, watch it." Luke ordered. "I'm not stupid."

"Not you," Jess scoffed. "My dad. My dad was a screw up. I guess it's hereditary."

"Don't give me that." Luke said, shaking his head. "I knew your dad, and you are nothing like him. He didn't care about anyone but himself. It might be rare, but I've seen you at your best, as well as your worst. You care about other people. You pull this huge, 'the world can kiss my ass' bit but you care about people. You are an idiot, but you are nothing like your father." Luke said, still seething.

"You don't know anything!" Jess said. "You think you know everything, but you don't! You don't know anything about me or what I'm like or what I am!"

"I know that you're my responsibility, and I know you're going back to school next year!" Luke said.

Jess was still fuming. "I don't want to go back and you can't make me!"

"My God, are you four?" Luke asked, exasperated.

They stood there, staring heatedly at each other. Finally, Luke spoke again.

"I refuse to watch you throw your life away, Jess." Luke said insistently.

Jess sighed deeply and picked up his leather jacket. "Then close your eyes."

Jess stormed out of the apartment with a loud slam of the door. Luke stared at the closed door for what felt like an eternity. Luke sat down on the edge of the bed and bowed his head. He rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands as if in prayer. In reality though, Luke wasn't praying. He was just thinking about how he'd failed his nephew.

Jess banged loudly on the motel door. "Damn it, Jimmy! Open the door!" He called, exasperated. After his fight with Luke, Jess didn't know where to go. He was tempted to go seek comfort in Rory, but resisted the urge. If he went to her, she'd want to talk. He still wasn't ready to talk to her about any of this. He was shocked that he'd talked as much as he did that night on the bridge, and he didn't want to do that again. Not yet, anyway, and possibly not ever. He just wanted somewhere to hang out until he could go back to Luke's, if only to get his stuff.

Jess really had screwed everything up. He hadn't meant to fight with Luke. He hadn't even meant to hide the fact he wasn't graduating. He was just embarrassed, and if he was willing to admit it to himself, he was angry with himself. He didn't care about graduating, but he knew that Luke and Rory did. He didn't want to hurt either of them, but it seemed to be what he did best. This afforded him the perfect opportunity to do what he felt was best for Luke, Rory, and himself - leave. Maybe he could even leave with Jimmy, start over again in California where he wouldn't have people bothering him about wasting his potential or graduating high school. Jimmy was just like him, so Jess wouldn't be able to let him down as he did everybody else. Besides, maybe that was what he needed right now. A change of scenery and a change of family. Not that he had any illusions about him and Jimmy all of a sudden having a Leave It To Beaver moment, but they were family, and maybe that meant something. If it didn't mean anything; if Jimmy said no, then it didn't really matter to Jess. He was just looking for a way out. If Jimmy happened to be that way out, then that was fine. If not, there was no love to be lost between them.

"Jimmy, open up!" Jess screamed again.

"That room's empty." A gruff voice called.

Jess turned his head and saw a short, stout man with thinning hair peeking out at him from the office.

"What'd you say?" Jess demanded.

"That door you're banging on? There's no one there. Guy checked out in a hurry about an hour ago." The man said, before retreating back into the office.

Jess punched the door fiercely in anger, putting a small hole in it. He stared at the hole, and then looked down at his bloody knuckles.

"Huh."

A sharp knock came to the door, and Rory got up from the couch to answer it. "Who is it?" She called as she walked to the door.

"Luke." His voice called from the other side of the door.

"Hey, Luke." Rory said with a smile as she opened the door. "Mom's not here."

"I came to talk to you." Luke said, hurrying into the house.

"Oh." Rory said confused. "Ok. What's up?" She walked back over to the couch and sat down. She looked up at Luke intently with curiosity in her eyes.

"It's Jess." Luke began.

"Jess?" Rory asked, panic on her face. "Is he OK?"

"Physically, yes." Luke said, pacing back and forth.

"But…" Rory started.

"But," Luke repeated, "I'm so worried about him. He's not graduating."

Rory nodded. "I knew that."

"You did?" Luke asked, surprised. "He talked to you about it?"

Rory shrugged. "A little. As much as Jess ever talks, I guess."

"I need you to talk to him." Luke said, squatting down in front of her. "He'll listen to you. He doesn't listen to me, but I think he'll listen to you."

Rory sat back and said, "Jess doesn't listen to anyone, Luke. It's like talking to a wall. A well-read, angry wall, but a wall nonetheless."

"I know that, but if anybody has a chance, it's you." Luke said, looking honestly scared.

"Wow, Luke. I've never seen you look like this before." Rory said, feeling a little scared herself. If Luke was scared, Jess's problems had to have been more severe than she'd thought.

"I'm scared for him. I think you have a shot at helping him."

Rory sighed and slumped back into the sofa. "I want to help him, but I can't make him go back to school. You know how he reacts when people try to tell him what to do."

"I know that, but there are other alternatives. He could get his GED, for example." Luke said. "I want to tell him that, but he won't listen to it coming from me. I thought maybe you could try."

Rory sat in thought for only a second before she nodded. "I don't know if it'll do anything, but I'll try. I really want to help him."

Luke nodded and awkwardly patted her leg. "Me too." He sighed deeply. "Me too."

"How can you be sure he's not just gonna run off?" Rory asked, trying not to reveal how panicked the thought made her.

Luke smirked. "I took all the books in the apartment and put them in the bed of my truck, and I mean all the books. Even mine. And not just the novels. My cookbooks, my fishing books. I took them all. He's not going anywhere."

Rory smiled at the thought. "You know him well."

"No one knows Jess well." Luke said.

Rory frowned. She liked to think that she knew Jess well. "You're right." She said, feeling pained by the honesty of the statement.

"Hey, kid!" Lorelai called as she entered the house with several brown paper bags. "I've got Chinese."

Lorelai entered the living room. "Oh, hey Luke." She said, obviously surprised to see him there.

"Hey Lorelai." Luke said, standing up.

Rory sat on the couch, and the three looked uncomfortably at each other. Finally, Rory stood and took the bags from her mom. "I'll set this up in the kitchen."

Rory departed, leaving Luke and Lorelai in the living room, still standing there awkwardly.

"So," Lorelai said, sitting down on the couch and patting the spot next to her. "Care to tell me what this is all about?"

Luke sighed and said, "I needed to talk to Rory."

"About…?" Lorelai asked. Luke sat down next to her and looked straight ahead.

"Jess." He said simply.

"Ah, of course." Lorelai said, nodding. "Is he OK?"

"Physically, yeah." Luke said, repeating his words to Rory moments earlier. "Emotionally, probably not. He's not graduating."

Lorelai nodded. "I know."

"God, does everyone know?" Luke asked, frustrated. He took his hat off and ran his hands through his hair.

"Rory told me." Lorelai said, patting Luke's leg sympathetically.

"Oh." Luke said. "I asked her to talk to Jess, see if she can get through to him."

"Didn't go so well when you tried, huh?" Lorelai asked knowingly.

Luke sank back and shrugged. "It went as well as any conversation between me and Jess ever goes. We fought, we screamed, he stormed out, I punched a wall, then plastered the hole up. While I was plastering, I thought it'd be a good idea to have Rory try to talk to him. I thought maybe he'd listen to her. Rory's been good for him, and I think she might be the only one he'll listen to."

"You've been good for him too, Luke." Lorelai said insistently. "If that boy is doing any better than he was, and I think that he is doing better, it's because of you. You've been there for him and you've taken care of him, and he knows that. He's better because of you."

Luke smiled, but it was sad. He shook his head. "No." Luke said. "I failed him. I tried to make his life better, but I couldn't. I wanted to…" He trailed off.

Lorelai smiled at him. "You wanted to save him."

Luke nodded. "Yeah."

"That's a noble thing, Luke, and it's completely understandable. But you can't save someone if they don't want to be saved."

"That's the worst part!" Luke said. "That's what makes me the maddest. I really thought he wanted my help."

"Maybe he does, but he's confused. He's led a life that's been very cruel to him. I don't think he knows what to do. He's scared and he's angry and he doesn't know how to make things better."

"But I should know how to make things better for him, and I don't." Luke said.

"You're not a mind reader. You're a parent. Well, for all extensive purposes, you're his parent. As a parent, you can do your best, but you can't be perfect."

"Says the woman with the perfect daughter." Luke said.

"Hey, I'm lucky. And yeah, Rory and I have an amazing relationship and I am a damn good mother, but I'm not perfect." Lorelai said, getting slightly offended.

Luke stood. "Look, I know you're just trying to make me feel better, but I just can't be here right now. I'll see you later." He was out the door before Lorelai even had a chance to stand up. She heard his truck start and pull away.