Disclaimer: Besides dirty, dirty thoughts of Jess, I own nothing.

A/N: Thanks for bearing with me through my seperation of the dream couple. I promise a reunion soon enough. Remember to review!

Chapter 6

2 weeks later

"I told ya, man." Billy said to Jess, handing him a neatly stacked pile of bills. "I'm a man of my word."

Jess took the money and counted it casually. He trusted Billy, but just wanted to make sure. There was three thousand dollars there, the exact amount Jess had loaned to Billy almost two years earlier.

Jess shoved the money in his back pocket and said, "Thanks, man. I knew you'd come through."

"Well," Billy responded, shoving his hands in his pockets awkwardly. "You always came through for me. I owed it to you."

Jess smirked. "Yeah. You're the only one though."

Billy shrugged. "This girl really messed you up, huh?" Jess talked about Stars Hollow a little to Billy, leaving most of the details unsaid but sharing a few.

Jess had to laugh at that. "Nah, man. I messed myself up. She loved me anyway though. Chicks, huh?"

Billy laughed too, but it was uneasy. "Yeah…" He said, "Look Jess, about all that happened before you left…"

Jess shook his head. "Don't go there, Billy. It's over. What good is it to talk about it?"

Billy looked ready to argue his point, but in the end chose not to. "I guess, but Jess, thanks for everything. Just, for everything."

Jess sighed, and shuddered subtly at the thought of what he was being thanked for. "It's nothing you wouldn't have done for me. I just wish things ended better."

"Yeah." Billy said quietly. "Me too."

Jess gave Billy an affectionate punch in the shoulder. "Alright, man, I'm out of here."

The two boys shared a brief and awkward embrace before Jess pulled away. "Gotta catch my bus." He mumbled.

Billy nodded. "Hey, keep in touch, kid. Drop a postcard or something."

Jess grabbed his duffel bag and nodded. "I will. Later."

Billy watched his friend disappear around the corner to where the bus station was located and shook his head with a sigh. He hoped Jess would be able to find whatever it was he was looking for, because if he didn't he was eventually going to go crazy.

Lorelai closed her cell phone with a sad smile. She was thrilled to put a bid on the inn, but she was convinced that Rory going to her parents was going to backfire in some way. She walked back into the courtyard and was taken aback by the person she saw standing in the back, trying to camouflage himself among the shrubs.

As Lorelai looked at him, all she could see was her daughter's tear-stained face. With each step she took towards the boy, her anger was rising. He looked up at her, then looked back at his feet quickly.

"What are you doing here, Jess?" Lorelai demanded, crossing her arms across her chest.

Jess shrugged. "Watching Luke and Jackson gawk over the building's architecture."

Lorelai continued to stare at him. Finally, he said, "I just…wanted to see her again. She doesn't know I'm here, and I'm not going to tell her I'm here. I just wanted to see her graduate."

Lorelai felt a tug on her heartstrings as she saw the pathetic look in Jess's eyes. He may not have loved Rory, but he obviously cared deeply about her.

"Jess, you and I aren't exactly friends, but you're really important to Rory. Is there anything that I-."

"Look Lorelai," Jess interjected, trying to keep his anger from bubbling over. "You know how things end up between us when you try to offer me your sage advice or try to help me or whatever. So please, just don't finish that sentence."

Lorelai felt herself getting annoyed with him, as she so often did. He was such an angry, disturbed kid and she was so afraid that he was going to hurt Rory. He'd already hurt Rory though, and still she had tried to offer to help him. She was as angry at herself for offering as she was at him for refusing.

Jess was looking up at the empty stage as he asked, "How is she?"

"Fine." Lorelai said quickly. "Amazing, spectacular, and every other positive adjective that exists. In fact, she hasn't mentioned you since you left."

It was a lie, of course. Lorelai was taken back to that morning.

"Cap and gown?" Lorelai questioned.

"Check." Rory responded.

"Valedictorian's sash thingy?" Lorelai asked.

"It's a stole, and check."

"Speech?"

Rory opened her binder to pull the speech out, and a page of paper from a legal pad slipped out onto the floor. She bent over and picked it up, unfolding it curiously. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked down at it.

"What is it, sweets?" Lorelai asked, removing the paper from Rory's hands. There were a bunch of doodles on the page, as well as lyrics to Guns at Brixton by The Clash.

Rory shrugged and brushed the tears out of her eyes. "It's a just…a Jess thing."

"Baby…" Lorelai started.

Rory shook her head and snatched the paper back from her mother. She lovingly folded the piece of paper and put it with her speech.

"Speech. Check."

"Good." Jess said, nodding. "Good. Did she…cry?"

"No." Lorelai lied easily.

"Good." Jess repeated. "Good." He dug in his pocket and pulled out a flat box. "Could you give this to her?"

"And when she asks where it came from?" Lorelai demanded, staring at the box.

"Lie to her." Jess said with a shrug. "Like you just lied to me about the crying."

Lorelai took the box with a shake of her head. "Why don't you just make both your lives easier and just let her go graciously? Do the right thing for once."

Jess shrugged. "Why set a new precedent? You don't have to give it to her." He said, offering his hand to take the box back.

Lorelai shook her head. "I'll tell her it came in the mail."

Jess nodded. "The ceremony's about to start."

"Don't let her see you." Lorelai commended softly, placing the box in her purse. She turned around and walked away without another word.

"Headmaster Charleston, faculty members, fellow students, family and friends, welcome. We never thought this day would come. We prayed for its quick delivery, crossed days off our calendars, counted hours, minutes, and seconds, and now that it's here, I'm sorry it is because it means leaving friends who inspire me and teachers who have been my mentors - so many people who have shaped my life and my fellow students' lives impermeably and forever. I live in two worlds. One is a world of books. I've been a resident of Faulkner's Yoknapatawpha County, hunted the white whale aboard the Pequod, fought alongside Napoleon, sailed a raft with Huck and Jim, committed absurdities with Ignatius J. Reilly, rode a sad train with Anna Karenina, and strolled down Swann's Way. It's a rewarding world, but my second one is by far superior. My second one is populated with characters slightly less eccentric but supremely real, made of flesh and bone, full of love, who are my ultimate inspiration for everything. Richard and Emily Gilmore are kind, decent, unfailingly generous people. They are my twin pillars without whom I could not stand. I am proud to be their grandchild. But my ultimate inspiration comes from my best friend, the dazzling woman from whom I received my name and my life's blood, Lorelai Gilmore. My mother never gave me any idea that I couldn't do whatever I wanted to do or be whomever I wanted to be. She filled our house with love and fun and books and music, unflagging in her efforts to give me role models from Jane Austen to Eudora Welty to Patti Smith. As she guided me through these incredible eighteen years, I don't know if she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be was her. Thank you, Mom. You are my guidepost for everything."

Jess looked up at Rory as she thanked her family. He could tell even from behind that her little cheering section was completely blubbering, even Luke. He had to smile at her speech. They'd talked about nearly all those books she'd mentioned at some point during their relationship. As she described her relationship with her mother, even the ever-stoic teen could feel himself getting chills.

"As we prepare ourselves today to leave," Rory continued, "we are undoubtedly going to look back on all the adventures we've had, on all the feats we've accomplished. As we approach our futures, we will all be looking back on our past. We will be thinking about that test we failed, that friendship we never would've expected…" She faltered before she said, "The relationship that took an unexpected turn." She looked back up with her confidence restored. "It's important that we remember not to regret anything that transpired over our years at Chilton, but to be grateful from the lessons we learned and appreciate the people that we were privileged to meet. Even if we part ways today and never see each other again, we will still have the memories to cherish."

Rory continued to speak, but Jess didn't hear a word. She was talking about him. He knew she was talking about him. Jess shook his head to clear the tears that were almost threatening to form in his eyes. He had to leave now, or he never would. He took one last look at Rory, looking beautiful in her ugly blue gown, and he walked away.

Lorelai looked hesitantly at the box in her hands. She had been debating giving it to Rory since they'd gotten home. She knew she had to though. She couldn't conceal something like this from her daughter, as much as she wanted to. She wanted to throw it away without ever showing it to Rory. She wanted Rory to forget about the angry hoodlum who was constantly breaking her heart. She couldn't do that though. Rory loved this boy, and Lorelai had to accept that.

Lorelai entered Rory's room and said, "Done packing?"

Rory looked up with a smile. "Yup. I can't wait to get going."

Lorelai smiled. "It's gonna be a great time." She sat on Rory's bed and handed her the box. "This came in the mail today. I tore the paper off before I realized it was addressed to you. No return address, but the postmark said New York." Lorelai didn't even know if Jess had come from New York, but she figured this way Rory would assume it was from him.

Rory looked at the box hesitantly, before taking it from her mother's hands. With shaky fingers, she opened it and took in a long, shaky breath. She pulled out a silver necklace with a crystal blue heart with a lightening bolt slicing it down the middle. Under the necklace, there was a note. Rory picked it up and read it quietly to herself.

'Lightening strikes for a reason, and it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Notice how the heart isn't broken. It's just changed. Change doesn't have to be a bad thing.'

Then, in small print at the bottom was written,

I'm no good at apologies. That's what this was supposed to be.

Jess

Rory looked up at her mom with tears streaming down her cheeks. Lorelai forgot all ill feelings towards Jess and took her daughter in her arms, allowing her to cry herself to sleep.

3 months later

Rory walked into the diner to find it completely empty. "Luke!" She called.

Luke emerged from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dishtowel. "Hey, Rory! I was about to close up, but take a seat. What can I get for you?"

Rory smiled and slid into a chair. "A cheeseburger, fries, and a cup of coffee. Thanks so much, Luke. Dinner was inedible at my grandparents' house tonight."

Luke nodded. "Where's your mom?"

"She went right to bed. She was wiped." Rory responded. "But I needed food, and it's been way too long since I've had some good diner food."

Luke smiled. "How was the first week at Yale?"

"Great!" Rory said with a smile. "I can tell already that it's going to be tough, but I'm really excited."

"Good." Luke said with a little bit of pride in his smile. "I'll go get your food."

Rory sat for a moment, looking around the diner. Her gaze fell to a few postcards that were tacked up behind the counter. Shakily, she stood and walked over to them. There was one from Virginia, one from Texas, two from Canada, and one from California.

Luke walked out of the kitchen with a plate of fries and noticed Rory staring at the postcards. He'd tacked them up while she was still in Europe, not even thinking that she'd one day see them.

"They're all from Jess." Luke said, coming up behind her.

Rory nodded, touching one of the cards. Luke put the plate of fries down on the counter and looked over Rory's shoulder. He pointed to the card from California. "That's the last one I got. He called about two weeks ago though. He's still there. He's at Venice Beach."

Rory turned to face Luke with stone in her eyes. "I didn't ask."

Luke was taken aback by her harshness. He nodded. "There are your fries. The burger will be done in a minute."

"Thanks, Luke." Rory said, sitting at the counter.

"How is he?" She called after a moment, unable to keep up her façade of detachment.

Luke returned with her cheeseburger and placed it in front of her. "He's alive." He responded. "He's healthy. That's about all he lets me know. His written communication is about as lacking as his verbal. I guess it's a family thing. I'm told I can be rather monosyllabic too."

Rory laughed. "You talk when you have a reason to. So does he."

Rory looked again on the postcards on the wall with a sad smile. While she was in Europe, it had been easy to forget about him. He still crossed her mind from time to time, but she was so busy that she didn't have a lot of time to think about him. The moment she was back at home though, she was flooded with memories and thoughts of him. She missed him. She missed him a lot.

Luke sat down next to Rory at the counter and looked at the postcards. "I don't think he's coming back."

Rory shrugged and touched the crystal heart dangling from her neck. "I don't think so either. But I didn't think he was coming back after we got in that accident either and he did. He came back."

"Yeah." Luke said unsurely. "He did."

"Do you miss him?' Rory asked, still looking at the postcards.

"No." Luke said with a shrug. He stood up and went to go into the kitchen. He paused in the doorway and said quietly, "Yeah."

Rory sighed and touched her necklace again. "Me too."

"Hey, Jess." Sasha said as she entered the house.

Jess quickly closed the composition book he was writing in. "Hey Sasha."

His father's girlfriend smiled at him. "It's so cute that you keep a diary."

Jess sighed, annoyed. "It's not a diary."

"It is too!" Lily called from the other room. "You write how you're feeling and what you're thinking and about Rory." She poked her head into the room and pushed her glasses up on her nose with a smile.

"Go back to your cupboard!" Jess snapped.

Lily smirked childishly and recited, "I miss you, Rory. I've never put you out of my thoughts. Everything I've done is for you. I hope you understand that."

Jess jumped up. "I knew you were reading it, and you memorized it? You are one cracked kid."

Lily smiled impishly before running back to her bookcase and jumping inside.

Sasha smiled at the two. Over the past month and a half, they'd fallen into a pattern that reminded her of the relationship she had with her brother. Having Jess around had been good for her whole family. Lily adored him, Jimmy was happy to have him here, and Sasha couldn't help but like the kid. He reminded her so much of Jimmy.

Jess shook his head. "Your daughter's weird."

Sasha smiled. "Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure that falls under the cliché of the pot calling the kettle black, doll."

Jess smirked. "Yeah, I guess."

Sasha sat down at the table. "Rory's the girl from Stars Hollow, right? The one you left behind."

Jess looked up at Sasha with a raised eyebrow. He'd never talked about Rory to her. He'd mentioned her in passing to Jimmy, but only the fact that there was a girl.

"Call it a woman's intuition, doll." She said with a wink.

"Yeah, Rory is, well, was my girlfriend in Stars Hollow."

Sasha nodded. "You have a picture?"

Jess shook his head, prompting a soft smile from Sasha. "That's not a picture of her you keep taped in the back cover of your diary?"

"It's not a diary!" Jess exclaimed, exasperated. Then, he opened the notebook to the back cover and slid it across the table so Sasha could look at it. Sasha looked down at the book without touching it. The picture was in black and white, and it was of Jess and a dark-haired girl with light eyes. Her hair was up in a ponytail, and Jess's was shorter and less unruly than it was now. She had her arms around Jess's neck, and he had his hands resting on her slim waist.

Sasha smiled at the teenage couple. "That's quite an artsy photograph."

Jess retracted the book and looked at the picture with a gentle smile. "Her friend Lane was taking photographs, trying to find the right "look" for the album cover she was designing. She had one shot left and wasted it on us."

"Doesn't look wasted to me." Sasha replied. "You two look happy."

"Yeah." Jess said quietly. "That didn't last long."

"She the reason you ran away?" Sasha asked.

"Yeah. I didn't want her to see me fall apart." Jess said honestly. Honest communication was still hard for him, but he felt surreally comfortable around Sasha. She was one of the few people he trusted.

"You cleaned yourself up though." Sasha said.

"Yeah." Jess responded.

"You're doing so much better than you were when you got here a month ago." Sasha continued, giving Jess a meaningful look that he didn't really understand.

"Yeah…" Jess said again, trailing off unsurely.

"According to Jimmy, you're practically an entirely different person than the one he met in Stars Hollow."

Jess nodded. "Yeah. I've come to terms with a lot of things."

"So you're not perfect, but you're doing better." Sasha stated.

Jess cocked his head to the side. "What exactly are you trying to say, Sasha?"

"What she's saying," Jimmy started, walking into the room and sitting down next to his girlfriend, "is what are you still doing here, when it's obvious that there's somewhere else you'd rather be?" Jimmy and Sasha looked at each other lovingly before sharing a soft kiss.

Jess felt a pang of loneliness as he watched the two of them. Jimmy turned to his son and said, "I told you when you came out here that it was just temporary, kid. I like having you here, but there's nothing else we can do for you right now. You've done the work. Now you've gotta go get the girl."

Jess swallowed with great difficulty. He knew that Jimmy was right, but he was scared. He was scared that all the work and soul-searching he'd done wouldn't be enough. He didn't want to go back to Rory and still be unable to be what she needed. He didn't want to see the hurt or pain in her eyes that always accompanied his failures. He'd gotten comfortable in his life here with Jimmy and his family. He didn't want to let that comfortable feeling go.

Jimmy smiled at his son. "It's not that you're not welcome here, Jess. But we're kicking you out."

Sasha nodded with a smile. "You've gotten too comfortable here. You've got to go now and see what's what."

"You're right." Jess said with a sigh. "I know you're right. I'll leave within the week."

"We'll help you buy a plane ticket." Jimmy offered.

"No." Jess said, shaking his head. "I want to take the bus."