"The Valar? Now? But we just got here!" Haldir exclaimed as he walked alongside
Elhith.

"Which, I suppose, is why we are going there now," Elhith reasoned calmly.

"Why do we need to go? I mean, I thought everything had been taken care of when we were in Mandos."

"That part of the situation was taken care of then, yes -- getting out and meeting up with me and arriving here. However, it seems that there are some more things that need to be seen to."

"Like what?"

"Like laying down the law!" one of the elves who was ahead of them said grimly, prodding Sauron forward a little more.

Haldir considered what a cruddy day it probably had been for Sauron. Between having to go on a boat and falling off it and now being taken to the Valar, things just kept looking worse for him.

There wasn't much talking as they walked on. Everybody, even Elhith, was silent as they made their way.

Very quickly Haldir realized that they must have been taking a secret road. There was nobody else around, and by what he could tell they were climbing a bit up into the hills to the south of the city. The area was heavily wooded and therefore offered no view, except, of course, for the trees.

After an hour or so of walking, it started to get really old. Yes, he was glad to be alive and all that, but he wanted to do some things that were different. It was Valinor, for crying out loud! He felt like he was on some watch on the borders of Lothlorien again, something that he had done for so long that he wasn't even sure how many years it had truly been. And, to make it even better, Sauron was there, and unlike when Haldir was on duty, there was nothing that he could kill.

Could you stop thinking so loudly? It's like you're screaming in my head.

Without missing a beat, Haldir replied. No, I can't. They're my thoughts and I'm entitled to think them however I want!

Well jeez, who hit you with the grumpy stick? Sauron replied, turning around momentarily to look at Haldir before one of the elves pushed him forward again.

What the heck are you talking about? Haldir queried. That makes no sense!

I'm sure this will: SHUT UP! I'm the one who can be crabby now, not you; you're here in your little 'elven paradise' or whatever. Ungrateful little wretch.

I beg your pardon? Haldir snapped back, forgetting to walk for a moment.

You heard me. You're being ungrateful. What do you really have to complain about?

I can complain about you nosing in stuff that isn't your business!

I wouldn't have to if you'd keep it down. Or just stop like this fellow to my right, he
ended, jerking his head over. Haven't had anything out of him. It's kind of freaking me out, to be honest.

Well, I guess my intelligence is just too large for me to put a cap on my thinking, Haldir rejoined, thinking it with much more certainty than he would have ever felt.

Sauron snorted. Your ego's pretty large, but that has nothing to do with intelligence, hí na.

Haldir sniffed a bit at this. So what if I have a bit of an ego? It's not like you don't have one like twice the size of mine.

Ooo, ouch. That really stung. I was completely unaware that I have a tendency to be proud.

If you realize that you are, why don't you knock it off?

If you realize that you are, why don't you knock it off?

Haldir was not pleased with the use of his statement. I asked first.

I asked second.

You have to answer first though.

Why?

Because I said so!

And since when did you rule Arda? he thought sarcastically.

I haven't obviously. But neither have you.

Yeah, but I got close a couple times. And I have seniority, by pretty much a zillion years. Beat that! Ha!

Dear ERU, you are so annoying! You're like a little immature child! Haldir thought, having to put a lot of effort forward to keep his mouth shut.

Thanks. I try.

"ERRRR!" Haldir yelled, figuring out too late that he had just yelled into the silence.

Elhith stopped, and the two elves ahead did, too. Sauron turned around with a positively overjoyed expression, a demonic grin slowly spreading across his face.

"What," one of the elves asked after a moment, "was that about?"

Oh, they think you're loony! This is rich.

Haldir gave Sauron a death glare while he tried to think of something to say.

Elhith followed his glare to Sauron, whose smile had grown more at the reaction of the other elves. "He's doing something," he said, pointing to Sauron.

Quickly, Sauron's smile fell so that he looked as though the incident had left him untouched. "Yes, blame the little psycho's problems on me. If something bad happens, it instantly has to be my fault. No possibility in the world that it could just be something in his head."

"You're lying! You' always lying! You're a pathological liar!" Haldir complained.

"Yes, I am. But everybody has problems, don't they?"

"He's messing with my mind," Haldir said, edging on whining.

"See, that's your problem. What about you, Elhith?"

Elhith opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it and blinked a few times.

"Bit shy about sharing?" Sauron asked, with a ridiculous understanding expression on his face. "You'll come around."

"Speaking of problems though, you still need to be brought before the Valar today!" Haldir put in.

Sauron frowned. That was low, he responded grouchily.

Haldir smiled smugly as the two elves saw back to their duties and herded Sauron forward again.