Oh guys, I'm really sorry that I didn't get this posted like I promised. I meant to, honestly, however I couldn't. Because fanfiction blocked me. Because they removed two of my spoofs for reasons unbeknownst to me, and they said I couldn't post for a week, and that happened last Monday. *goes off and cries in a corner* Anyways, so I'm trying to get this one done today. I'll still have another one ready for the upcoming Saturday. That better?

Now I know I've been terrible at making the little things talking about who the people are and stuff, and I just kind of refigured that not everybody in the world has read the Silm, so I'm going to try and be better at that, although I've kinda been trying to work them into the context. But I'll explain a bit on this one. Okay?

Nessa: Vala of... um... actually I dunno. But she likes to dance. And she likes deer. Vana: Again a Vala whose actual title job thing I do not know! She is called the Ever-young though, birds like her, and flowers spring up where she walks. Spiffy trick, eh?
Tulkas: "Greatest in strength and deeds of prowess." Tireless, good runner, always happy, things that I would very much like to be myself...
Orome: Likes horses, doggies, and hunting evil things. Is called the Lord of Forests.
Neinna: Vala of pity and hope and stuff like that. She is like never happy because she can only think of all the sad stuff that has happened to people and she mourns for them. So she cries... a lot.
Irmo: Vala of dreams and visions.
Este: Vala of sleep and rest and maybe healing but I can't remember for sure off the top of my head.
Ulmo: Vala of the sea, the Lord of the Waters, lives in the ocean, etc. etc.
Vaire: Vala, Namo's wifey. She weaves. Yup.
Yavanna: Guess what? Another Vala! Called the Queen of the Earth, but like, growing things earth, ya know? She loves plants and growing stuff.
Aule: I already talked about him so I shouldn't need to talk again!!
Manwe: The king dude of the Valar, highest up in the rankings... he loves wind and really fast birds!
Varda: The queen of the Valar, she made the stars and so all the elves are obsessed with her. Also called Elbereth, tada.
Eonwe: A maia, he is Manwe's herald and bannerbearer.
Eldar: Elves who beheld the light of two spiffy trees. Yes, they were trees that gave off light. And the light made the elves that saw it more powerful than the elves who didn't. Okay?
Moriquendi: Translated "dark elves" because they didn't see the light! Of the spiffy trees!!! Therefore they are not as powerful.

Weeeeeell, I think that was it. I seriously was trying to be brief with that! Ok, so, reviewers!!!

Haldir's Lover: I hope that you're happy! Because of your review I was limited to a twitching pile in a corner!! No, THIS IS NOT SLASH!!! UGH! That's just, sick! SICK SICK SICK!! Why did you even allow my over-active imagination to be exposed to something like that! BLEGH! No no no, not slash. *twitch* And I met Haldir, or rather Craig Parker. It was spiffy.

GollumRox: Yeah, I do think that person called me Sarah. How odd. Hehe, yeah, I was wondering when you'd figure out that I changed the titles. I was getting a little annoyed, but you finally looked! Yippy!

Zeal2: I'm going to take not bad as a compliment and say thank you! Yes, I know the chapters need to be longer, and the next couple are longer. But when I am trying to post once a week I get a bit crunched. See, I'd write after school, however I always have a couple hours of homework so I end up draining myself so completely that I only have the weekends to write. And not only do I try to cram in my fanfic writing, but I try to get my serious writing done as well, and to do that I need to stay up really late... late requires caffeine, and well, there you have it. But the next couple are longer, I swear.

lo: Who's Sarah? *ponders* Oh well, whatever. Homework is evil. It is the cause of much grief. Especially the quarter projects in English... And you liked the conclusion? Hehehe... yeah, me too. Hahaha!

AzureDragoness: I do not suck! I'm just cold, uncaring, and cruel! MUAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm sorry that you feel the need to glare at me, but in a way that is quite the compliment as it would imply that you are enjoying the story!!

Carmen: Well, I have you and Zeal2 who say totally different things about chapter length. Oh well. I'm sorry that you thought the chapter was dry, but it might have been funnier if you had known what in the heck I had been referring to through half of it. You were kinda in the dark, and the dark is never fun unless you are Boo, Gollum, or Creep. And I'm sure that Sauron had a sense of humor, only... it was like really evil. Derr. Honestly, ever single time there is something written with him in it, he laughs. Obviously he found something amusing. And I'm not a dark lord. I'm female thank you very much.

Pherhyandoiel: I can spell your name without looking now! Wee! But I'm not a fool, I'm just... well, stuff. But not foolish, most times at least.

Kit Cloudkicker: Yeah, Sauron won't be happy. I've kinda toyed with Finrod being there, but I'm not sure if I will have him come or not. We'll see.

Saijin*Princess*Arien: I'm glad that you are enjoying it! Yes, they both need a bit of help. Everybody does, but them more than most I think. Somebody will need to have a spaz attack besides me. Hehehe, yeah, we'll see. It'll probably be Sauron. Like, when he finds out that Frodo is in Eressea or something like that.

XNemesis: Well I suppose that after being around Morgoth for all that time, and all his dark evil evilness, that you'd kinda forget what it was like to be around like, what, fourteen valar who were all light and splendor. And I can hardly remember what I had for breakfast this morning, so if he has a bad memory I won't blame him for it. Anywhooo, I'm glad you're still amused. I'll try to keep you entertained!

Darth T-Rex: Yea! Hooked! Weeee!! I hope that what I wrote meets expectations, I tried really hard on this chapter and it took me forever! So I hope it's okay...

FunktasticMe: I hope that you enjoy the rest of this once you've gotten around to it! I wish you could read my TTT spoof... *sniff*

Mystic Catface: Glad you likey! I considered going off on the glare thing and Sauron thinking about 'oh yeah, you wanna see a glare, well you should have seen me when...' and stuff like that, but I chose not to, obviously! I am cruel, aren't I? Not like I ever said I was nice though... ;-D

AAAClub: Feeling special and loving things are good, so I think that we have a good deal worked out.

Wow, that was a lot! Snazzy. So here's you overdue chapter for which I am very very
sorry. I hope that it was worth the wait!!!

The two elves appeared again, and Sauron went forward when they motioned. Right inside was a short flight of stairs which they went up. Sauron was a bit more than reluctant to go up them, however he made it to the top without losing it.

Standing there he instantly stiffened, unconsciously of course. There was a crescent of seats facing towards him, and without counting he knew there was fourteen. And there were more, others who were not seated.

Sauron looked around the group, slowly recognizing the faces of the people present. There was Vana and Orome, and Tulkas and Nessa. Tulkas looked about ready to pummel him, and Sauron was almost a bit glad that they were at a council so that he would not get the chance, for a while at least.

Next to them was Neinna, who had just about instantly burst into tears as soon as Sauron had entered and was continuing to carry on. He looked at her and shook his head. She had always tried to be such a drama queen, and apparently hadn't gotten out of the phase yet.

There was Irmo, who was very similar in appearance to his brother Namo, only a bit less brooding looking. Today he seemed to have it remarkably together and was concentrating on what was going on at the moment instead of staring off into space daydreaming. His wife, Este, sat next to him, sleeping, which didn't surprise Sauron much as that was pretty much all she did anyways. Of course near them was Vaire and then Namo, who Sauron wondered a bit to see considering that earlier it seemed that he wouldn't be coming. Then again, he figured that it wouldn't have been much of a party without the doomsman.

Sauron was able to tell that him being there was a really big deal when he saw Ulmo. Considering that he had always done just about anything he could to get out of the councils, Ulmo must have felt that this was important enough that he should be present. While Sauron felt a bit proud at the fact that he had warranted Ulmo getting out of the sea for once, it also made him about twenty times more apprehensive.

Then there was Yavanna, and next to her sat Aule. His face was blank and unreadable, but it didn't take any amount of intelligence to figure out that he was quietly seething. Sauron felt about a million memories that had gotten lost in the heap of them he had accumulated over time try to resurface themselves, however he put a mental cork over them as that was not the time, not that he was really planning on ever letting himself have the time. Still, he couldn't push off the fact that he had learned much from Aule, and that he owed a lot of his own works to his teachings, however reluctant he was to admit it even to himself.

And last was Manwe and Varda, and it was the sight of them that caused Sauron to feel as though his knees would give out. That was definitely not acceptable behavior however, as laying face down on the floor would do nothing for that plan of acting with conceited dignity. It might have been okay if he had been thinking of going down the path of pretending to sue for pardon, but he had figured out long before, meaning about two days ago while he had laid staring at the ceiling of his cell, that they wouldn't be making the same mistake with him as they had with Morgoth. So, considering that he did not have a Plan B, he had to do everything in his power to keep hold on the original one.

It was harder than he thought it would be, but then that part of him in which the disposition of a dark lord had been ingrained (which was about 99%) kicked in. He almost felt disgusted, amazingly, however the presence of that emotion did not make the feeling that he was going to make the ground's acquaintance go away. It just gave him enough gumption to be ready to try and make some snippy remarks.

The two elves slowly walked back towards the gate, but Sauron hardly noticed them go. He was watching the Valar, waiting for which one would speak first.

As he waited, one of the people who stood behind Manwe and Varda stepped forward, and Sauron recognized him as Eonwe. Great, Sauron thought to himself, I'm going to get listed.

At least that is what he thought would happen. It seemed likely that they would want to rant off all of the things which he had done that had gone against the designs or whatever in hopes of making him see how bad he had really been. Not that he needed them to recount all the events for him to see that he had been bad as he knew he was being so whenever he had done them, which was often. In fact, half of the fun of doing all those terrible things was knowing that they were terrible.

"It has been the decision of those present that you realize what you have done and therefore will not need to have them retold to you," Eonwe said in answer to his thoughts.

Ah yes, he'd forgotten that just like he had been able to read Haldir's thoughts, they would be able to read his. That would make things a bit more interesting.

"So if you're not trying just to put me in my place, wherever you happen to think that is, then what are you trying to do?"

"Oh, but they are going to put you in your place," Eonwe said, a slight smirk on his face. Then he whispered, "You should have just come along when I told you to and you would have been able to skip most of this."

Sauron replied in an equally quiet voice. "Yes, but I would have also missed the height of my power, my golden age as you all might say."

"Well, I hope it was worth it." He turned to the assembly and raised his voice so that they could hear. "Here is Sauron, the servant of Morgoth, enemy of the people of Arda," he said as way of formal introduction.

Sauron did not really agree with such a declaration. He had, after all, been serving himself for the last two ages, even if he had been following a lot of the principles that Morgoth had set down. And he wasn't the enemy of everybody, just most of everybody.

Eonwe then returned to his spot, and Manwe spoke, his voice possessing such power that although Sauron wanted to say something smart-mouthed, he could not. "Let Namo pronounce his doom."

Well that was right to the point. All things considered he would probably be done in less than five minutes.

Namo stood up, and it was interesting to note how much more solemn his mood was now than it had been like a day ago. Of course, it would have lessened the tension in the air, and such trials were probably suppose to be very rigid.

Sauron thought that Namo had a pretty cool job description, with the whole Lord of the Halls of the Dead and Doomsman of the Valar thing. Only, he'd didn't think that he would actually want to have that job, unless it was just the doom part. Doom always seemed synonymous with bad things happening to people. And that was always fun, unless you were on the receiving side. Like he was now.

He was shaken from his thoughts upon hearing Namo's voice. "From now on, you shall abide in Valinor, and that condition will never be lifted for any reason."

Even though it was disheartening to hear, it was not anything that he had not expected.

"For an age you will not be allowed to go anywhere without Haldir of Lothlorien. After that time you will have leave to come and go in the limits of Valmar as you please, yet if you have need to go any further than that, Haldir must go along too."

Poor Haldir. That'd be more of a punishment for him than anybody else.

"You will not touch any sort of weapon for any reason."

Sauron could care less about weapons. He had only wielded one on a few occasions, namely when the situation looked very very bad, so he hadn't really gotten any sort of love for them. The art of making them perhaps, but not really the things themselves. Then that whole thing with his finger getting hacked off hadn't really increased any appeal they had to him.

"Occasionally you will be required to help in different tasks as we see fit."

Sauron congratulated himself on having successfully guessed that one.

"Under no condition will you reveal your identity to anybody."

Whatever.

"I'm serious. For no reason. If you do, not only will it backlash against you, but we'll make sure that you don't think that it was truly worth saying."

Sauron wondered what more they could possibly take away. It wasn't a good thing to wonder as it was a law of nature that whenever such a question was speculated, something would come along and make the situation worse.

"And any power you have which makes you above the firstborn will be blocked against you until you have proven that you can be responsible with those that you were originally endowed with."

That took a couple moments to process. His ears had really piped up when he had heard 'power' as that was a word that had always been quite important to him. However the rest of the sentence didn't make complete sense at first.

And finally he got it. He felt as though he'd swallowed a chunk of lead or something. "You're not serious," he said as more of a shocked statement than a question.

"Actually, we are."

"But..." he said, yet couldn't get anymore words out than that.

"But what? You don't think that we have the authority to do that?"

Sauron didn't answer, or more correctly couldn't answer. So much for conceited dignity. The plan had been pretty much crushed by that lead weight.

"See, this is the part that is putting you in your place."

For a moment more he stood there silently reeling, trying to figure out what all this would mean. However then that flicker of anger within him kindled. He was a bit surprised that it had been so dim all that time. "My place is not as an elf!" he spat, his ears ringing so that he could not even hear himself speak. He also felt the strange desire to stamp his foot, but he suppressed it.

"Neither was trying to be the lord of Arda, and yet you seemed to think that you could grace such a position. Now you just need to learn to look to a new station."

Sauron felt his brows pulled down into a tighter knot than they had been before. "You do not think that enough of my power had been destroyed in my ruin?" he asked, although he had trouble getting the words to form on his tongue.

"I think that the actions that we are taking would mean that we do not believe that enough of it has been destroyed."

He considered replying, but something perked up inside him and doused his rage. There wasn't any way that he could fight the present situation and win. He knew that he could not change their minds and that arguing would probably make it worse than better. So, although he did not want to accept the fact that this was the way his life was going to be, he did... to a point.

In doing so, a question popped into his mind that somewhat revolted him. Not really the question, but that he had thought it so promptly. It made him think that perhaps he was accepting this a bit too quickly. "Now," he began slowly, absently tugging on his belt, "when you say that I'll only have those abilities or whatever that are those the firstborn have, are you referring to the Eldar or the moriquendi?"

Although he couldn't be quite sure, Sauron almost thought that Namo might have smirked, however the expression was so fleeting that it just might have been a shift in the shiny light. "Well, it wouldn't really do for you to have such an advantage over Haldir, therefore it'll probably be the same as he, moriquendi."

Sauron cursed under his breath, but didn't say anything audible.

Oooooo, I hope that was good. I tried really hard, really I did!! I'll have another chapter Saturday, promise (well, I'll send it to GollumRox at least...)!