No smart remarks today! I have to hurry while I write because Dib is about to leave his house so that he can spy on Zim today. Oh, I hate my job. Dib ran out of his house, realizing that he was late. Gaz left without him today, probably because he woke up late. Did his alarm clock die, or was it beaten up by air? Dib was in his usual outfit, which made me wonder. Did he always wear the same thing? Doesn't he have to wash his clothes, or does he have doubles? Is there a store called 'the dib store'? That'd be one awesome store, though. Dib ran towards his school, and finally caught up to Gaz. He sighed and glared at Gaz as she played her game. "Did you beat my clock up?" Dib asked as Gaz looked at him. She growled and looked at her game, making Dib realize that that was a no. "Then how did it-" Dib started but he was rudely interrupted. "Stop talking, Dib. I'm playing my game." Gaz commanded and walked ahead. Dib grunted and sighed, walking still.

When they got to school, Dib was, for once, on time, which made Zim…not say anything? Dib looked at Zim and blinked. "Zim?" Dib said and waved his hand in front of Zim's face. Zim just waved it away and stared up at the messenger-bringer-thing. This author has a very small vocabulary and she apologizes for that. Zim just stared up at it, making Dib wonder. Dib sadly walked over to his seat and sat down. The bell rang and Mrs. Bitters slithered up to the desk, sitting down and staring ahead. "Children, I will now-" Mrs. Bitters started but stopped once a beep! was heard in the room. All the children looked towards the monitor-hearing-thing. A sad voice said over the monitor, "Children, the lunch lady has been shot. We will need a new lunch-slave, so please volunteer for the job. Thanks." There was a silence in the room, because, well, no one spoke a word. Why? Because they were afraid that if they did, the ghost of the lunch lady will throw peas at them. Why? Because Mrs. Bitters told them that. Why? Because Mrs. Bitters is one of the best teachers ever. "Class." Mrs. Bitters hissed, making all the already frightened children jump. "We will be voting for who will be the cafeteria lady-" "Or man!" A little boy interrupted Mrs. Bitters, making her twitch but stare ahead. "-or man." Mrs. Bitters finished and looked around the room. "Zeta and Melvin, you two are officially the new lunch people." Mrs. Bitters said as she pointed at the two. Melvin squealed with delight as he jumped down and ran off. Why was that little boy so happy? Well, I later found out that Melvin loved lunch ladies and he's always wanted to be one. Zeta just stared ahead and sighed. She got up and walked out, being curiously calm. Zeta was always the one who talked about…stuff and argued. What made me confused was that she didn't say a word. But, since I don't like her or worry about her life, I will go back to my 'heroes' as many would call them.

"I know you had something to do with this, Zim." Dib said and glared at Zim, but Zim just looked over with an innocent look. "Me? I have no idea what you are talking about, Dib-stink." Zim said and 'smiled,' but Dib wasn't buying it. Mrs. Bitters looked at the class and glared at them. "Class, today we will talk about the Big Bang." Mrs. Bitters said, but Zim didn't want to learn about that today. Zim wanted to learn about- "Guns!" Zim yelled and pointed his finger in the air. Mrs. Bitters glanced over at him and glared. "What are you babbling about this time, Zim?" Mrs. Bitters asked as Zim wiggled his finger in the air. "I want to learn about guns, Mrs. Bitters." Zim said, with a bit of distaste as he said her name. Mrs. Bitters just stared at Zim, her expression the same: cold and mean. Zim nodded as he decided that he wanted to learn about guns. The other classmates didn't mind because they didn't really want to learn about the big bang, but they didn't want to learn about guns either. So, it was a lose-lose situation. Dib looked at Zim and raised an eyebrow. "Why do you want to learn about guns?" Dib asked, making Zim look over and raise his own eyebrow. "Why do you have such a big head?" Zim replied with another question. This made the author think. Why did Dib have a big head? It was probably in the family, so that made the author stop wondering. Now, why did Zim want to learn about guns- the things that kill people and hurt things and cause holes in pop cans-? There was no time to think, though, because more interesting things were happening.

"Why, Zim?" Mrs. Bitters asked. Zim stood up and trailed his hand across the room. "Because, no one wants to learn about the 'Big Bang' and I am ZIM! I want to learn about guns because they're deliciously bad." Zim exclaimed and plopped down in his seat. One of Mrs. Bitters' eyes large-end, making it so that her eyebrow was 'up.' "Very well, Zim. We will learn about guns." Mrs. Bitters said and started to talk about guns. Throughout the whole day, Zim was quiet even when Dib threw stuff at him or threatened him or talked to him. Why don't I explain the whole story, you ask? Explain about the EVIL COMINGS AT LUNCH TIME AND SUCH? Well, you see, I am a very lazy author and I don't feel like explaining things. You have to be there to understand, and I was there. So ha. At the end of the day, Zim walked towards his house, counting on his fingers numerous times and mumbling to himself. Dib, at first was hiding behind cars and poles, but was now following Zim. He just trailed along behind him, staring ahead, his eyebrow quirking in curiosity. Oooh! This author got to use a big word! "What's the matter, Zim?" Dib asked, stretching Zim's name out annoying-ly. Zim looked back and glared. "Nothing, Dib-stink." Zim replied nastily while doing the same stretchy thing with Dib's name. They both stopped walking and stared at each other for a moment. "I know you're up to something, Zim, and I'll stop you no matter what!" Dib exclaimed and pointed his finger at the alien-boy. Zim shook his head and laughed, walking on. "I don't think you will, Dib. I don't think you will." Zim said as he walked off, leaving Dib there. Dib glared at Zim one last time and walked off, with me following Dib.

I followed Dib, hiding professionally behind cars and poles. I learned that in school! I watched Dib walk down the street, his hands in his pockets and in the form of fists. He was angry, for some reason. Why he was mad, it was my guess. Probably about how Zim said he wouldn't and stuff. I bet that in the end, it'll be a tie and everything would be fine again. After a while, Dib took out a piece of gum and started to chew it. I guess it calmed him down, because he let his hands out of his pockets and he looked relaxed. Dib then stopped walking and stared ahead, took out the gum, and threw it on the ground. "Stupid medication.." Dib mumbled and ran home. I picked up the gum with tweezers and sent it to scientists to confirm that it is, in fact, medication. Not just any medication too! It's medication to calm you down and make you feel relaxed. I guess Dib didn't know that the gum was medication, so when he passed his trashcan infront of his house, he threw out the pack of gum. Dib entered the room and looked around. The place was a mess.

"What the heck happened?" Dib demanded to know, not really expecting an answer. He got one anyway, but from someone he would never expect to be there. Someone he hated and wished he would just go away. Someone who – "Hiya, Buddy!" Said a voice from the kitchen. Dib shuddered when he heard the voice, but ran into the kitchen. "Keef! What do you think you're doing here! And why is my house a mess?" Dib demanded to know, he looked angry again. But the boy only turned around from the counter and looked at Dib. Keef was in an apron and he had a wide smile on his face. He had a small bushel of orange hair on top of his head and he had large blue eyes. "I'm here to visit you, Dib! And the house is a mess because your sister kept chasing me, but I settled it!" Keef said with a smile as he pointed over to a tied up Gaz that was sitting at the table. She was mumbling threats, but at the same time she was trying to get her game slave 2, which was right in front of her. Dib stared at Gaz then at Keef. "Are you CRAZY?" Dib yelled, his mouth open in shock. No one could tie up Gaz. No one. Keef's eye twitched and Keef smiled even more. "Yes!" Keef said, his voice cracking. Dib's eyes widened as he backed away, but it was no use. If Keef got Gaz, he would get Dib too.

"Don't worry, Dibby! I made waffles for you and your sister. You're both too skinny, you know that? So I'm gonna FATTEN YOU UP!" Keef yelled while he stabbed his fork into the waffle and stuffed it in Dib's mouth. Dib coughed and choked on the waffle, since he had no time to chew it. Once Dib stopped gasping for air, Keef's eyes widened and so did his smile. "Do you like it?" Keef asked. Dib looked up and held his throat. "Y-Yeah." Dib said, not even sure if it was or not. Keef then squealed and stuck the fork in another waffle and walked over to Gaz. Dib looked at Keef trying to feed his sister a waffle while Gaz tried to bite the boy. "I have to get some help, but from who? The only person who would help would be- Oh no." Dib mumbled to himself, as his eyes widened. Dib quietly walked over to the phone and looked through the school-book-thing that told everything about everyone. Dib dialed Zim's phone number very quickly and waited. Two rings. "Hello?" a voice from the other line says. It sounded quite annoyed but I don't think Dib noticed that. "Zim, I nee-" Dib started but was interrupted by the person on the other line. "Who is this? And how do you know of Zim? TELL ME!" The person yelled, and Dib knew that it was Zim and not his stupid robot. Dib growled a bit and glanced over at Keef, who was still fighting with Gaz. "Zim, it's Dib, and I really nee-" Once again, Zim interrupted. "Dib-stink? Why are you calling Zim? I'M NOT TELLING YOU WHAT I'M DOING, EARTH ORGAN!" Zim yelled as Dib looked at Keef again. "Zim, no! It's not that, it's just-" Dib should just say what he wants to say quickly, or else he's never going to finish what he wants to say. "I am- No! No tacos! They're meat-ness burns ZIM!" Replied Zim, which confused Dib. "What?" "What?" There was a pause and Dib started to talk again. "It's Keef, Zim! He's taken over my house and-" Dib whispered but heard a scream from the other line. An explosion then a sound of oinking. Dib put the phone away from his ear for a moment as the sounds screeched in his ear. After a sound of silence, Zim spoke. "Too bad, Dib-stink! Keef is not my problem anymore and I'm far too busy to help-" This time, Dib said something that made Zim pause and not want to talk anymore.

"Oooh Keef, someone is on the phone for you!" Dib called, making Keef look over and his eye twitch. Dib put the phone back to his ear to hear the silence of Zim. Keef skipped over to Dib and the phone and smiled. "Who is it?" Keef's annoying and scratchy voice squeaked. Dib snickered, and I bet anything, Zim could tell that he was. "It's-" "NOOO!" Zim's voice yelled through the phone. It was so loud that even Gaz, who was across the room, heard it very clearly. Keef gasped and his smile widened. "Zim? My bestest friend ZIM? Ooh how I've waited for this day!" Keef squeaked and grabbed the phone from Dib. Dib crossed his arms proudly as Keef put the phone to his ear. "Zim! How are you? Did you miss me, because I missed you! Do you still want to see the circus? I know there's not one here but I bet we can find one somewhere! A road trip, maybe! Wouldn't that be great, buddy? You and me stuck in a car for who knows how long!" Keef talked and talked, but Zim was only making a 'Uh huh.' And 'Yes, yes, wonderful.' I wonder why Zim just doesn't hang up, but I guess Keef would just run over to Zim's house and bug Zim, and no one wants that. Dib listened to what Keef was saying, about him and Keef in a car and them being buddies. Dib now looked away from the happy boy talking to his 'best friend' in a…jealous-mad type of look. He was mad that even Keef had a best friend but he was jealous that he was Zim's best friend.

Gaz had escaped from the rope and went upstairs. I didn't realize she was gone until- "So, how about it buddy? Do you want to? Or maybe we could just go to a concert, or I could spend the night at your house and have a sleep over!" Keef exclaimed and said any random idea that popped into his head. " Well? Well? We-" KLONK. Keef fell forward, and dropped the phone. Luckily, Dib caught it and stared at Gaz. Gaz was standing behind Keef with a large, metal bat. "What? He was getting annoying. Now, take your little boyfriend's best friend out of here. I need to play my game." Gaz mumbled and walked over to the table, grabbing her game and starting to play. Dib blushed a bit from the 'boyfriend' comment, but Dib must've thought it as 'boy friend' which is a boy that is your friend. I don't think Dib even knows what the meaning of boyfriend, girlfriend, or lover was. Crazy boy, huh? Dib grabbed Keef's feet and dragged him through the front door. Dib held on to the phone though because Zim was still on the other line. Zim screeched and yelled for Dib to hang up so that he could hang up so that he could win yet again. "Zim, I thought hanging up first was winning." Dib said as he pulled Keef by the foot down the street and over rocks. "No, hanging up last is because it shows that you are strong enough to stay on the machine longer than your opponent, yes?" The alien boy outsmarted the earth boy there. Dib sighed and was about to say something but was interrupted by Zim once more. "What's a 'boyfriend'?" Zim asked. Dib stopped and stared at the phone. "What!" Dib yelled, not caring if people looked at him. Surprisingly, there were no people so he was safe there. "Didn't your horrible beast of a sister say-" Zim coughed so that he could mimic his sister's voice and continue: "'Now take your little boyfriend's best friend out of here.'?" Dib blushed and blinked, a not-so-sure smile on his face. "Did she? I thought she said to take the alien's best friend out of here." Dib said and laughed a little. There was a silence then Zim replied, "Nope, she said boyfriend." You know, this sounds like a very regular conversation. This doesn't really sound like an enemies conversation, you know? There was a silence as Dib looked around. "Oooh.." Dib said and scratched the back of his head. There was another silence and finally, Dib broke it. "Well, I guess a boyfriend is…Umm…" "Have you ever had one? And why are you not answering Zim's last question? ZIM DEMANDS TO KNOW!" Zim asked another question. Dang, this boy is curious. Dib thought about it for a minute, trying to get his thoughts straight. Ok, so Zim is wondering what a boyfriend is and wants to know if Dib ever had one. Dib sighed and looked up at the sky. He kept walking though.

"A boyfriend is a boy that likes a girl-" Dib coughed the words: 'or boy' "-and the girl-" Dib coughed the words 'or boy' again. "-likes him too so they get together?" Dib said, but it was more like he was checking his answer and wondering if it was right. "And I've never had one." Dib finished and jumped over a giant rock. Poor, poor Keef. "Ah, I see. Now, I have much business to do, so I must-" Zim stopped and trailed off. He then hung up the phone after hearing the 'beep beep beep' signaling that Dib already hung up. Dib was infront of Zim's house with a messy looking Keef. Dib picked up Keef and threw him at Zim's window, which was open because Gir left it open. Dib ran off laughing. Zim screamed and ran around screaming. The un-cautious Keef just laid there on the floor. Gir poked him once or twice, which made Keef twitch. I bet Keef will be fine, don't worry readers!

The next day at school, another announcement was made over the intercom. "Students in Mrs. Bitters' class, your classmate Keef has died…Yeah." Then the speech was over and there was a silence in the room. One kid looked around and blinked. "Who's Keef?" He asked and all the kids shrugged and forgot about it. Dib looked at Zim and glared at him. Zim looked at Dib and glared back. Many a moon and a star, well, not really, but the glaring didn't stop.. At lunch time, Dib walked over to Zim's table and glared. These boys sure do like to glare. "I know you did something." Dib said and pointed a finger at him. Zim turned around, his eyes wide in shock. "Me?" Zim said and pointed to himself. "Why would you think I would hurt my best friend?" Zim asked in a fake-sad way. Dib clenched his fists and pulled his hand back from not-pointing at Zim anymore. "Because, Zim, you were the last one with Keef!" Dib said and snickered, knowing that he was right. Zim glared back and raised his hands in the air. "Then why do you think that has anything to do with Zim? Just because I saw him last, doesn't mean anything!" Zim said and nodded, just to agree with his point. Dib made that 'rrrr' sound and turned to walk off but looked back at Zim. "I'll stop you no matter what, Zim." Dib said and walked over to his table. Zim smiled 'evilly' and turned back to his lunch. "I don't think you can, or will, Dib." Zim mumbled and stared at his food. He pushed it away and sighed. The classmates made the food worse than the lunch lady.

I don't think anyone read this story, but oh well. I wrote the second chapter, I might as well submit it, right? Yeah, ok.