Here it is, and as I say, it is longer! Spiffy hmmm? I'm so glad that I worked ahead, because otherwise this wouldn't be coming to you guys this weekend! Because of the demon of the 3rd Quarter English Project of Doooooom and Crap. I swear, ask GollumRox, it's reduced me to a stupid laughing idiot. It was one of the low points in my life, right up there is Mrs. T, but I will save you all the torture of that. So. Reviews!!!

Elderberry: Did you know this one review of yours got sent to me like nine times? It was a bit much. If snippy is not a word, it should be. I totally know what you mean. It's so funny when people do things like that, and there is the collective gasp. Great stuff. Yeah, and it is like being stuck with a nasty 7 year old, who also happens to be very intelligent... just not necessarily completely mature. And I have a wisp of an idea of how it will end, but how I'm going to get to the end, well, I have about as much of a clue on that as you!

XNemesis: Yeah, he probably looks like he's been passed out in a gutter for a while... really hot I'm sure. And raspberries are fun and childish, which is why I love doing them!!

Twisted Mary Sue: I just think Sauron's funny in a completely not funny way. You know? Like... everything he does is just... it just doesn't work. So it's just funny. I mean, he's LAUGHING about the Numenoreans being destroyed, and as he laughs a huge old wave comes and drowns him! I've read the Silm 2 times, going on 3 currently. And you know, Sauron's only been out of Mandos for a total of like 1 day, so I think that he still has time for pranks, don't you? I mean, that was my plan...

GollumRox: Don't repost them. But thank you. Heheheee... puppet...

Darth T-Rex: I'm glad that the chapters are at least consistent! Hope you enjoy this chapter like the rest!

Pherhyandoiel: Well, I didn't think that the last chapter was THAT short! Oh well, what can I do, hm? This one is longer, the next one is longer than this, and the one after that.. I don't think I'm done with it yet. No. But already it's like as long as this one so, that forebodes well hm? And I won't be thankful, because, because, because, um... because I feel like it! *childish fun raspberry*

Spoofmaster: Wow, I'm amazed that I've inspired anybody to do anything. That's cooool. And just so you know, it took me reading the book two times before I actually could absorb everything. I mean, Fingolfin and Finarfin and all that stuff, I needed a read through once just to get the names. But if you think it's like a textbook, come talk to me and the 50 pages of typed up stylistic elements I have on the computer. I don't recall many metaphors and personification in textbooks... but that's okay! It's a ton of info, and info is always good.

Carmen: Well, here's the answers! Tadum!

AAAClub: I have no idea how long this will be. It's already longer than I thought it was going to get, and I'm not even close to like all the ideas I've got gummed up in my head. So it should be a while!!

Saijin*Princess*Arien: Good. I couldn't recall any reviews by you on the spoofs, so I was a bit freaked out at first about the laugh thing... but now it is all good! Oh man, and you shouldn't feel bad for Sauron. He's such a mean little turd! I feel so bad for Finrod, it's so sad... WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THAT! WHY!!! Okay, I'm done. Just had to get that out of my system. Anyways, Morgoth's an even bigger turd than Sauron. But whatever, to each his own. I shouldn't argue really though as I'm here writing this bloody story with Sauron in it and I'm not making him out as evil as he is or anything... but oh well. I'm a hypocrite. It's all good.

Ms. B: For a bio you need an account. But you can have an account without having any stories. So you could do that if you wanted. And of course I changed the title. GollumRox and her randomness.

Okay, sorry if those replies were creepy, I tried to keep my brain in line but it was very very hard and I don't think it really worked. But I made an effort! So without further ado, here it is!



They went back to the room at the rear of the house where they had been before and found Sauron flopped precariously across one of the couches. His head hung off the back in a manner that looked rather uncomfortable, but it didn't seem to bother him at all. In fact, from all the signs, he seemed to be asleep.

Haldir and Elhith exchanged a glance but didn't say anything. For a moment they stood awkwardly at the doorway, and then Elhith went in and leaned over Sauron.

He turned his head to Haldir and whispered very quietly. "Did you think that maiar could sleep? Especially this one?" he asked while rubbing his neck.

"Not really... but it isn't as though I've come in contact with a lot of them in my life," Haldir replied.

With a slight nod, Elhith looked down at Sauron again, still seeming quite confused.

He was beginning to stand upright again when Sauron's eyes suddenly flew open. As people who have been startled out of their sleep tend to do, he let out something that vaguely resembled a strangled yell and slipped off the couch.

Haldir couldn't help but laugh, and when he tried to contain it, it only made him snort.

Elhith looked quite afraid for a moment, glued to his spot. However then he seemed to get it together a bit and reached over to help Sauron back onto the couch from his spot on the floor.

Once there, Sauron roughly pulled his arm from Elhith's hand, and threw him a venomous glare. "What is wrong with you?" he hissed.

"You really were asleep," Elhith mused.

"No, you think?" he replied incredulously. "Apparently you have a problem with that though, wafting that elvish essence of yours around me," he said waving his hands in front of his face.

Still snickering, Haldir moved from the doorway and sat on another couch across the room, watching the exchange with amusement.

"Oh no, I didn't have a problem, not at all!" Elhith said shaking his head, his eyes very wide.

"THEN WHY DID YOU WAKE ME UP!?!"

Haldir raised a brow at this outburst. "Geesh Sauron, he didn't mean to. We were both a bit surprised that you were asleep, and Elhith was just seeing if you really were."

Sauron seemed to regain some of his cool and raised his head indignantly while crossed his arms. "What? You didn't think that I can sleep or something?"

Haldir and Elhith glanced at each other again, but it was Haldir who answered. Naturally. "Well, no."

"Why not?"

"I seem to recall something about a lidless eye, and a sleepless malice, something along those lines. Or maybe I was just thinking of another Sauron," he ended shrugging his shoulders.

"Oh, that." Sauron leaned back against the wall and slouched down, the angry energy he had seemed to have a moment ago draining away in seconds. "Yes, well, things were different then." He closed his eyes again. "Very different."

The room was completely silent now, and it was an uncomfortable silence at that.

However then Sauron slowly opened one eye a little and looked at Haldir. "And perhaps you didn't notice, which would be amazing with the eyesight you elves have, but I do happen to have eyelids now. Taken a step up in the world, or down, depends on how you look at it."

There was a slight pause, but then Haldir chuckled softly. "Was that meant to be a joke Sauron?"

Sauron looked at Haldir as though he had not idea what he was talking about, but then an expression of comprehension crossed his face. "Oh, that thing with how you look at stuff?"

Haldir nodded.

"No. But if it floats your boat to call it such, knock yourself out."

Haldir shook his head but continued to smile. "Well, it was a lame one, but we'll call it a joke anyways."

Elhith let out a somewhat shrill nervous laugh then, shifting his gaze quickly between Sauron and Haldir. Sauron closed his eye again and smiled slightly, seeming to do more so from Elhith's pathetic attempt at a laugh than from anything else.

"Wonders upon wonders! A smile!"

"Come now Haldir," Sauron said with false exasperation, "we've had this conversation before. I'm capable of smiling, laughing, and although this would not necessarily be true until recently, sleeping. Anything else you want to know?" He yawned loudly and slid further down the couch.

Haldir scratched his chin a little and stared into space. That was quite the invitation.

"Any time would be nice."

"Well, at the moment I can't think of anything, so no."

Sauron repositioned himself so that he was now laying down and then replied. "Good, because I don't think I'll be able to keep myself awake long enough to tell you anything that could count as an answer." There was another slight pause. "Oh yes," he said, although it was a bit muffled from the couch, "tomorrow I need to go out, therefore you will need to go out, so I suggest that you be ready."

"Now, if I remember this correctly, it was you who was dependent on me for allowing these excursions to happen."

"Well you remember wrong."

"No, no, no, no. They told me that if you want to go out somewhere, you need me to come, and it is up to me whether we go or not. You can't make decisions like that anymore," Haldir said with just a hint of pride in his voice. Just a hint.

There was a sigh, and Sauron turned over again so that he was facing Haldir. "Look here, there are things that I need to get taken care of tomorrow, and I'm going to see to them whether you come along or not."

"Already going to break the rules?"

"Well, I don't see why I should start following them now. But I won't have any reason to break them if you just listen to me and come along."

"I'm not one of your little slaves to command around. If anything, it is a bit the other way around."

There was a momentary flash in Sauron's eyes, but it left very quickly. "Don't even say things like that."

"I didn't say it was a very good analogy, I was just making a point that it was closer one way than the other."

Sauron shook his head, apparently getting tired with the conversation. "Just humor me and be ready to go in the morning."

"What's in it for me?"

"How about another day of my good will?"

Haldir snorted. "Your good will? That might work for some people, but you're not one of them. It's like telling me that you will just cut off my head rather than torture me slowly."

"Fine. I'll just go out there by myself."

"The punishments will be very severe if you break the rules," Elhith put in.

Sauron leaned forward. "Yeah, what are they going to do more than they already have? Hm?"

"What did they do to your master?"

Sauron looked off as though trying to grasp the whole of what that statement could ultimately imply, and then leaned back again. "All right, they could do that, I see your point." This statement seemed to mean that he was going to follow the rules at least for a while. "Okay, I obviously don't have anything I can offer, so what do you want me to do?"

"Grovel at my feet," Haldir replied without a thought.

"No!" Sauron said, seeming more surprised than angry at the suggestion. He appeared about to go on, but Haldir cut in.

"I was just kidding! Calm down. Gosh, it's not like I was asking you to go in a boat or something, it was just one quick little bow."

"Grovelling and bowing are completely different."

"Are they now?"

"Yes. Bowing is a respect thing. Grovelling is like worshipping somebody and degrading yourself at the same time."

"And you would know because you've done a whole bunch of those things, right?"

"The bowing maybe, but not the grovelling."

"Okay, then what if I ask you to bow to me? Would that be better?"

"No," he answered instantly.

"Well, why not? You just got done telling me that you've bowed before, so I know you're capable of it."

"Capable of doing it for somebody who's worth it."

Elhith let out a laugh, but quickly stifled it when Haldir looked over at him. "That was cold."

"Good, I haven't completely lost my touch then."

"You're not helping your cause to get me out of this house tomorrow."

Sauron seemed to just remember where the whole conversation had started from. "All right, well, try again. Try something that actually has a possibility of happening this time, will you?"

"Fine, just give me a moment to think of something else."

"Make it a quick moment, I'm still tired."

Haldir frowned. "Fine, I'll come up with something in the morning. I'm never able to think of anything good when I'm being pressured into it."

"Do you always feel like you're being pressured into something then?" Sauron asked as he began to slide into his former position.

Haldir was about to snap back when Elhith intervened. "If you're up enough, you could sleep in a bed. You'd only have to stay awake long enough to make it upstairs."

"All the way upstairs?" Sauron complained, but he pulled himself off the couch and made his way up to the second floor behind Elhith and Haldir.

Once they got to the top, Elhith pointed the room out to Sauron which they had decided would be his while he was at his trial. He made his way in and tossed himself onto the bed, instantly closing his eyes.

However Haldir was not quite done. He stepped to the door and leaned against it. "Why do you want to go out so badly, and why must it be tomorrow?"

Sauron moaned and looked at him for a moment. "You're still here?"

"Apparently. Now answer the question."

"Tomorrow," he said shutting his eyes again.

"No, now."

"Does it really matter?"

"Yes. Just tell me and then you can sleep."

There was a brief silence, but it seemed to be a I-give-up silence rather than a I'm just-going-to-pretend-that-you're-not-there silence. "Fine, if you really want to know, I want to go and get some different clothes."

Haldir smile, completely amused. "Did you suddenly get a sense for fashion or something like that?"

"No," Sauron answered with a glare, "I just don't want to be going around in this." He gestured to his tunic, which was in pretty crummy shape, not to mention that it seemed to have adopted some nondescript color. And if something was nondescript, it was never a good thing. "Whatever shade this happens to be, it is not fitting of a dark lord-" Haldir was about to break in there, but Sauron seemed to understand that and so spoke over him. "-or a once dark lord, so I'm going to try and find something else. Preferably something dark, as I'm more accustomed to it."

"I don't know why, but I have this odd feeling that you aren't going to find black here. It might have something to do with everybody wearing pastel colors, but I'm really going out on a limb there."

Sauron rolled his eyes. "Did I say black? No. I don't care if it's black, I just want it to be dark, and I bet if I look enough I can find something dark. Okay? Enough talking! Now go and let me sleep, you annoying elf!" And with this he turned his back to Haldir as a signal of the end of the conversation.

Haldir didn't press the subject, having gotten what he wanted out of it. For some reason he also felt a bit tired now, and as Elhith had gone to his room and there was no way that he was going to try and venture down on the first floor alone, he decided to go to bed too.


Ahhh.... that took forever to set up. Blegh. But anywho, I hope you liked it, because it's what you're getting! Hahaha... yeah.