Yess… I love being able to update myself. Makes life so much easier for everybody involved. Well this chapter is huge. It said ten pages. Wow, isn't that lovely. Hopefully you think so.

Spiffy reviewers. Woops, I said that word again. I was going to try and stop. *shrugs*

AAAClub: Look at this update! So prompt, yes? Well, it is Spring Break for me, so hopefully I'll get a couple chapters written and at least one more posted this week. I'm glad you are enjoying this!

Mystic Catface: Yes, mornings are tedious evil things. Ugh. I seriously am going to egg the district office building. I know where it is too. MUAHAHAHAHA!!! *flames leap up in the backround and ominous music plays* So yeah… comebacks are good. Unless used against you.

Pherhyandoiel: Somebody got into my not-so-secret secret stash of Red Fusion. I was so sad. Soooo sad. But I'll live.

Mirari1: Heck yeah, Haldir's gonna need help. I doubt that anybody could get through all that crap without having a bit scrambled in their brain. Oh well. I hope you continue to enjoy my humble work now that you have found it! And I'm going to be looking for yours to be updated!

Ruler-of-Da-World: Yes, give the hair time. Waaah. Don't ask about that, I just thought it seemed right. I think that when Haldir was little he would have been one of those kids that would go and sneak stuff that they weren't supposed to. I bet he would. He has a naughty side somewhere in there. WOOT! I rule the universe! Well… not yet, thus the 'f' in Frotu. Bloo, sadness. But yeah… what's soylent green? Eh?

XNemesis: Monty Python rocks. I love the show especially. Mr. Gumby rules. Not many people know about him though, which makes me sad. Oh well. And yeah, it was degrading, thus the title of the chapter. *wink*

BlackThunder44: Ah, Sauron will live I'm sure.

Carmen: Yes, it is Spring Break. Nothing passes by your attention does it? Hehehe… yeah. Um, seriously, just get over the eyelid thing. Honestly. :-D

Twisted Mary Sue: *frowns* What did I do? WHAT DID I DO!! I'm sorry that I'm torturing you. Maybe if you tell me how I'll be able to fix it. Unless it is the thing about the posting chapters cause it takes time to type them up you know. But please tell me what I did. You can e-mail me about it if you want.

Yeah, that's it. Except for when you get to the names, there is a bit of an explaination at the end. That will make sense when you've read the chapter. So for now, read!

The streets were still filled with the shadows of early morning when they got out, the air not yet completely warmed by the sun. Haldir took a deep breath, enjoying the crispness in the air, but was cut off halfway through by Sauron coughing. "We've been gone a total of three seconds and you're already having problems?" Haldir asked, not really expecting an answer. "I wonder what this forebodes for the rest of the morning..."

"Well excuse me," Sauron said when he got a grip on his coughs. "It isn't like I want to be hacking my guts out."

"Thank you for that lovely mental image," Haldir said as he began to walk down the silent alley towards the street.

"You're welcome. Anyways, I can't help it. This whole place reeks."

"Oh yes, the flowers are just horribly putrid."

"It's not the flowers, it's you, you and all your people."

"Pardon?" Haldir asked, although not taking the time to be offended. He was starting to get used to only hearing foul things from Sauron and having to prevent his pride, which naturally got inflamed easily, from jumping up at ever single comment. It was much too tiring.

"You elves, you just have this..." He waved a hand around a little as though to aid the thinking process and hopefully stir up the right word.

"Aura?" Haldir supplied.

"That's the word! Aura, yes. You have this aura and it doesn't sit well with me. Like last night when I was sleeping and Elhith got too close, it set me off. It was like being smacked across the face. And this whole place in just disgustingly full of it."

"You handled it pretty well on the boat."

"I was just sick with other things... I didn't have time to be sick this way."

"Well get over it. You're little more than an elf yourself now, so you're probably contributing to it."

"Oh, that's an ugly thought," Sauron said, looking completely repulsed. "I don't think I am. Do you know how annoying it would be if you were like allergic to yourself?"

"Okay, stop."

"What? I'm just thinking. Is that a bad thing to you or something? I mean, I know that you don't have much going on in there, but to deprive others of the opportunity, that's just so un-elflike."

"No, thinking is not bad, if you're actually doing something constructive and not just muttering off your train of thought to the world."

"It's a habit which grows on you when there isn't anybody around who you can talk to..."

"So you talk to yourself?"

There was a short pause. "Yes. But it's not like it's a bad thing, I mean, it's just thinking aloud... and directing it back to yourself."

"Whatever you say Sauron."

There was some more silence, but this too was of course doomed to be cut short. "I need a new name."

"Now?"

"If you don't think that anybody will ask it all day, then no. But I have this feeling that it might be asked and so it would be better if I had one to answer with since I can't use my 'true identity' as it's been called."

"Just stick with Rondae."

"No!" Sauron answered, looking disgusted just from the implication. "That's a horrible name. I still don't even know how you came up with that."

"It was just a random thing."

"Sure. I bet you were just waiting for the chance to say it and hopefully doom me to be known by that name for who knows how long."

"For one, I have no idea why you dislike that name so much. Two, sticking you with a name that I thought you would purposely dislike was the farthest thing from my mind. If you want to know, I just took another name and switched it around a bit."


"That's stupid."

"Well it was better than you came up with, wasn't it?"

"So what name did you switch it around from?" Sauron asked, choosing not to answer Haldir's question.

"Daeron."

A distant look came into Sauron's face then, as though he was looking way back in his thoughts for something. "That name sounds familiar... but I can't think of why..."

"He was a minstrel, he made music for Luthien."

Sauron tripped, over what Haldir had no idea, and just about fell flat on his face. That was like the second time in a course of twenty-four hours, or three if the falling off the boat thing wanted to be counted along with tripping. Didn't really matter though. Regaining his balance, he stood stone still in the street, which Haldir did not realize for a moment and caused him to have to back track a bit.

The look on Sauron's face was even more distant now, and it was very unsettling. Haldir wanted to poke him or something to snap him out of it, but that was not a solution which he felt like actually carrying out.

However he didn't need to do anything, because Sauron spoke then, his voice quiet, but dark. Those factors together made it decidedly creepy. "So, you gave me a name after somebody who played for..." he said, his voice trailing off.

Haldir was just able to screw up himself to talk by reminding himself, quite a few times, that Sauron was little more than he now. "Yes... I looked at the stars, and I thought of the Quest for the Silmaril and the Lay of Leithian, all that stuff, and then I thought of Luthien, and Daeron and changed the syllables in his name. I told you it was very random."

Apparently something broke then, and Sauron pushed him against a wall and pinned him there, his eyes absolutely flaming, which was quite the snap from that listless appearance he'd had a few seconds earlier. He had been mad before, and apparently he was mad again, and that 'he's no more than you' phrase got repeated in Haldir's head so quickly in the next few moments that the words all ran together. "Random you say," Sauron yelled in a whisper. He jabbed Haldir's chest with his finger. "Of all the random things how could you pick that? You speak of the Lay, and yet you must have forgotten about half of it if you would pick a name from it and even think to give it to me!" he said, poking Haldir quite hard to emphasis some of the words.

"Hey, can you knock that off?" He pushed Sauron's finger away and rubbed his chest. "I couldn't forget it when I only knew half of it, or less. Less more likely. Just a couple scattered fragments. Not that it is really important," he said quickly, not wanting to ramble on too much. "But why is it so odd that I would take a name from it when there is almost nobody who has not heard of it. It's pretty common."

"You must have led a secluded life."


"In fact, I did..."

At this moment somebody turned around a corner and spotted them, his expression instantly turning to one of curiosity and suspicion. Sauron looked over his shoulder at them and probably glared, Haldir couldn't tell for sure, but the reaction for whatever he did was the person hurrying their steps down the road. Haldir waved weakly at them as they passed, trying to smile and failing miserably.

Sauron turned his attention back to Haldir after a moment. "So you did not know that I am in that Lay, did you then?" he asked heatedly.

Haldir frowned. "You're in it?"

Sauron sighed angrily and rolled his eyes, which seemed to release a little of his anger, but not enough. "Yes I'm in it you dim, base creature."


"Oh that's a little harsh, don't you think? I didn't know you're in it. What do you do? I mean, I can guess that you do something terrible and evil and not nice at all, but that could cover a wide spectrum, so could you narrow it down a bit?"


"No! I will not!" He backed up and began going down the road again. "I can't believe that I'm even talking about this in the first place!"

At this point, Haldir was deciding that Sauron was a bit bipolar. Only, instead of going from being really happy to really sad he went from being reasonably well-behaved to biting-off-your-head mad. Freaky though it was, Haldir figured that he'd rather have him be that way and swing around a bit over him just being down into the raging area all the time. Although, it would be even better if he'd just stay up on the indifferent side, but he knew that was hoping way too much.

Haldir followed after him, shaking his thoughts from his head. "Come on, what happened? Why was it so bad that I picked Daeron? Did he do something to you?"

"No, but he loved her, didn't he?"

"Um... yes, I believe so. Is that the bad part then? That he loved Luthien?"

"Yes and no, it has more to do with you calling me something that is from the name of somebody who loved her."

"Oh, so you hated her? Well, you hate just about everybody, don't you, so that doesn't seem so odd. So did you hate her especially then?"

"Yes," he answered coldly.

"Why?" Haldir asked as he caught up, his fear dissolving quickly.

"I don't want to talk about it!" Sauron snapped.

"Come on, I won't be able to learn what things not to talk about and bring up if you don't tell me."

"Okay, well here then: Don't talk about Luthien in front of me!"

"What about from behind then?"

Sauron whispered something under his breath that Haldir could not catch and did not figure he needed to hear anyways. "Leave it be, Haldir."

"I won't be able to now. I want to know. The sooner you tell me, the sooner you'll have peace."

"Ask Elhith. He'd probably know."

"I'd have to wait until the end of the day to do that. Why won't you just tell me?"

"Because it's worse than the Numenor thing. And I don't like talking about it."

"Have you ever talked about it?"

"No," he replied as though that answer should have been obvious.

"Then how do you know that you won't like to talk about it?"

"Because I think I've figured out what I like and don't like by now and that sense leads me to believe that I won't like to talk about it. So just stop!"

"You know I won't. Especially now that it seems to be so important to you. Now I have to know for sure."

Sauron finally stopped now, and turned to him. "Fine, you really want to know?" he demanded.

"Um, yes, that's kind of what I've been going at for the last couple minutes," Haldir answered, nodding.

Still seeming a bit peeved, Sauron grabbed the fabric of the shirt under his tunic which happened to be loosely wrapped around his neck. He pulled it down, revealing many series of thick scars all along his throat. "There, that's why."

Haldir cringed and touched his own neck as Sauron pulled the fabric back up. "Oww… that looks like it hurt."

Sauron shook his head. "No, do you think?"

"How the heck did it happen?"

"I never said I'd explain it."

Haldir blinked a few times as he tried to put the pieces together, which was hard because it seemed that a couple were missing. "But she didn't do that obviously..."

"No, but she was commanding the one who did."


"Which would be...?"

"Huan, the dog, okay? Enough now, I'm done. That's it. Story time is over."

"I didn't think she commanded him. Are you sure?"


"Haldir, I was there you idiot! He only released me at her word."

"So shouldn't you hate Huan then if he's the one who actually did the stuff?"

"I said I wasn't talking more."

"Come on, just a few questions."

"Then will you shut up about it?"


"Upon my honor."

"Oh, joy, I'm sure that's a great thing to swear by..." Sauron said to himself.

"I won't talk about it anymore, promise. So shouldn't you hate him too?"

"Yes, and anticipating that your next question would be if I do, yes, I do hate him. Just like as you pointed out I hate everybody. But myself of course."

"So then, why was it so bad for me to call you Rondae again?"

"Because you thought of it from the name of somebody who loved Luthien. And I hate her and so having that name was not good. Make sense?"

"Yes, I suppose so. I mean, at least in the context of your twisted mind it makes sense."

Sauron did not reply to this, and they continued down the silent road for a little bit. However, remarkably, Haldir found that he needed to speak. Which was quite the pity, as he was the one vying for silence all the time.

"So, um... we never really finished the conversation."

"Really? I thought that the long silence and the promise I got from you to be quiet would count as the end of the conversation."

"I promised not to bring that whole thing up anymore, I didn't promise not to talk. And although normally the pause and all that would be a sign of the end of the conversation, we never figured out what your name was going to be. Which was the point of the whole thing to begin with."

For a moment Sauron seemed to consider whether this was a worthy enough reason to have to talk again, but it was not too long. At least, it wasn't long enough that Haldir became impatient about it. "All right. So what do you propose?"

"Nothing. What do you want to be called?"

"I don't know. I haven't really had to think of a new name for a long time. Besides, most the time people end up giving them to me rather than me giving them to myself."

"You still have more experience at it than I do."

"Well you're the elf. What could I use? It would probably be better if you suggested things than having me just pick one out, because I doubt that you would allow any of the names I could come up with. In which case I would get frustrated and angry and I'm sure you don't enjoy it when I'm like that."

Haldir unconsciously nodded, trying to think of a fitting name. Obviously he couldn't go off in his normal thought patterns as it was more than likely that whatever he would come up with from such a logical proceeding would end up being something that Sauron had a bitter memory about. So much for getting out the easy way.

He turned a couple ideas over in his head, always deciding that they wouldn't work. Well, to be more exact they might work but he doubted that Sauron would allow them to. So it came to pass that after a few minutes he began to get a little irritated with his inability to come up with anything. "How about you just go by Fastagos and we'll call it good?"

Sauron looked over at Haldir for a minute, and then shook his head. "Haha. That was really funny. You're so clever."

"Isn't like it wouldn't fit."


"I think we both know that I'm not going to use that, so just come up with something else."

"I can't. Think of your own name."

"We already went over this. You probably would not like the names I would come up with."

"And you probably will not like the names I come with. So as I see it we are in the same boat."

"Well then just say whatever you think of."

"I already said what I thought."

"Think something else then."

"I can't think of something else! I haven't really thought of anything to begin with! If this keeps up, I won't ever get anything."

"That is not a very positive attitude," Sauron remarked.

Haldir threw his hands up in the air. "You of all people talking about being positive! What next?"

"Let's start with you figuring out a name sometime this age."

"You always must have something to quip back just for the sake of having something to quip back, don't you? You just enjoy irritating everybody."

"Ah, wrapping up the essence of my purpose for being in a couple of words."

It was that which gave Haldir his idea. Now that it occurred to him it seemed a bit obvious, like the idea must have been smacking him in the face for the past few minutes trying to reach his brain. "Iaewur."

"What's that?" Sauron asked, apparently having tuned out, assuming that Haldir would rant off on him more and that he therefore did not need to listen.

"Iaewur should be your name."

Although he opened his mouth the moment that Haldir had finished as though to instantly smash down this new idea, Sauron processed the name a bit and then closed his mouth. He turned his head slightly to the side as he considered it and then nodded to himself. "All right, I could probably live with that. Could be better but it could be worse too. I don't suppose you meant it in any sort of positive light, hm?"

"I didn't intend it to have any light, although the fact that it's not really the most flattering thing didn't bother me at all."

"None of the names that people have given me had lovely connotations. However, I seem to earn them from the work I've done, so I try to take them as compliments."

"You're messed up."

"Not any more than you. And speaking of things that are messed up, one of your braids is partly coming out," he said, smiling fakely.

Of course he had known what would bug Haldir, and so Haldir was quiet now as he searched for the braid he had to fix.

Sauron watched him as he pulled the braids in front of his face and crossed his eyes in an effort to see what they looked like. "Now if that's not pathetic, I don't know what is. Just leave it alone."

"No, I have to fix it now that you've told me that it is there."

"Let it go, you're stuck with me and my hair so having yours perfect isn't going to get you a better reputation or anything."

Haldir shook his head. "I have to fix it because otherwise it will bug me knowing that it's messed up."

He continued on for a bit more, finally finding it. However as soon as he had it and was starting his attempt at unbraiding it so that he could make it right, Sauron stopped him.

"Stop, you're embarrassing."

"No."

"How about if you leave your hair alone for now, I'll let you fix my hair later?" He twitched a little when he said it, but he seemed to actually mean the bargain.

"Why?"

"Because then you won't be embarrassing at the moment, and then I won't be embarrassing to you in the future."

Haldir didn't really need to be convinced on that one. "All right, it's a deal." He dropped his braid and tried to forget that it was there. Although he had figured that this would be a little difficult, it ended up not being as they had just reached the large lanes of what must have been the market.

*Fastagos: Frotu's lame attempt at using the word roots for something about tangled locks of hair and dread in a name.

*Iaewur: Slaughtering elvish again… to the effect of 'fiery mock.' Yes I know it is lame so shut up!!

Okay, that's it. Hope that it wasn't too long or boring or anything! :-D