Alright, I feel loved and I have this done, so I suppose I can post it today. But don't expect more for a week… at least. Actually, I have Friday off… so yeah, I should have another one next weekend.

AAAClub: I'm evil? Hmm… good! Muahahaha… I have to get some practice. And this was again pretty quick hm? I'm guessing you all like me having the new computer which actually works.

BlackThunder44: Well, wait no more!

Mystic Catface: Yes, that has to be a major step down from Dark Lord to petty theif huh?

Ruler-of-Da-World: Yeah, isn't the a coinky-dink that he happened to get all those rings? How odd is that? Hm… *smile* Hair is fun to draw, don't you think? At least I like to draw it but then again, I'm weird so you never know. And the hair thing is finally solved! Woo!

GollumRox: The FON baby is a source of eternal happiness. I think I'll print it off. And you got a lot of reviews from Super Stalker. He was very loyal and seemed to love you a lot. *giggles* You even got the first thing ever about Thu. That review counts for a ton! Don't you think? Maybe? Corn. Mort.

Spoofmaster: Anything to make people happy. Heh. I know what you mean about writing before the thing was done, I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants on this thing trying to get a chapter done every week at least. *pause* Did I just say that? That's creepy.

Pherhyandoiel: I'm glad you like my spoof! It makes me happy that it is still entertaining after, e-gads, 20 chapters. Hehehe… I'll try to keep up the work.

packers fan#4: You always have such enlightening reviews. How do you keep it up? ;)

AzureDragoness: Yes, I feel very loved! We should spar with are doomish instruments of food preparation. That would be fun. Hehehe.

Carmen: Too bad you have work to do instead of reading the revenge at this time. Oh well, I know you'll get there!!

Revenge. MUAHAHAHAHA!! Ehem…

*****

"Okay, so are you sure that you want to do this?" Elhith asked him, a very skeptical look on his face. Apparently he wasn't sure that he wanted to do this.

Haldir smiled. "Positive."

They were sitting at the table in the kitchen. Elhith had come back to the house about ten minutes ago and had been pretty much attacked by Haldir, who wanted to tell him his plan instantly. At the moment he still seemed to be turning everything over in his head.

"He won't be very happy with you if you do this. You know that right?"

"That's the point in doing it. Besides, I'm not letting him get away clean with this," he said, pointing to the red bump on his head.

Elhith grinned. "It's kind of funny actually. He likes to use rings as his weapon of choice doesn't he? I'm seeing a pattern."

"Apparently. Now, are you going to help?"

After pausing for a moment, Elhith nodded. "I suppose so. I mean, so long as he cannot actually do anything in retaliation."

Haldir knew what he meant. "Other than huck rings at you, he can't do much. And with two people it should be easier to pull off. So, you understand the plan?"

"What plan? As far as I heard, all we're doing is jumping him with a hairbrush. I don't know if that really counts as a plan."

With a wave of his hand, Haldir ignored the question. "It is good enough. So long as the objective is completed."

"And to make sure that I didn't miss anything, that would be…?" Elhith ventured.

Haldir grinned, a puckish light to his eyes. "To ensure that his hair is in as nice of condition as any elf that you could find here."

Although he shook his head, Elhith smiled back. "Well then, let's get this over and done with before I think better of it."

They made their way out of the kitchen, Haldir even feeling brave enough to lead the way. He felt mighty proud of himself for being able to navigate through that large home, but he didn't dwell on it long. There were more important matters at hand.

When they made it up the stairs, Haldir told Elhith to wait by Sauron's door while he went and got the brush. Quickly he went into his room and searched through some of the drawers and such before finding what he wanted. He looked over the brush, feeling rather sorry for it because of the mess it was going to be used on. Could not be helped though.

Once he was back in the hall, he motioned for Elhith to lean close. "All right, here's a better plan for you," he whispered. "You knock and get him to come out. I'll stay around the corner out of sight since I bet he knows that I would be up to something in the near future. Hopefully he won't think that you're in on it. Then I'll wait for an opening. All right?"

"Okay, I guess."

Haldir smiled and backed to the corner, hearing Elhith knock on the door. There was silence for a brief moment, but then a mumbled "What do you want?" could be discerned from behind the door.

"I ah, wanted to tell you thaaat… dinner is ready. You didn't have any lunch I heard, so I thought you might want to know," Elhith stumbled along.

"Where is Haldir?"

"He's around," Elhith said, glancing over at Haldir, who had poked his head back so that he could hear better.

After another pause, the door opened and Sauron came out. Haldir quickly ducked back into the room and tried to keep himself from laughing. He felt incredibly naughty, like he was playing one of the sorts of pranks his younger brothers would do at times, and it felt quite good actually. As a rule he had not evened the score in the same manner, but had chosen to give them horrible watches at the worst possible times. There were some definite pluses to being the Marchwarden.

"Well?" Haldir could hear Sauron ask Elhith, an obvious air of suspicion creeping into his voice.

"Um, that's a nice tunic," Elhith said lamely.

Even from his spot, Haldir rolled his eyes. Really smooth Elhith.

"What's going on?"

It was time to go. If he waited any longer, there was a very good chance that he wouldn't get away with the scheme.

Quickly and quietly, like he had been taught to do all this life, Haldir moved from his spot in the room and walked down the hall towards the other two. Elhith did not glance over at him once while he snuck up, which was very helpful.

Finally he was just feet away, and it was at this time that he jumped and just about tackled Sauron to the ground.

He thought it worked out very nicely. He didn't get banged up at all. Now, Sauron on the other hand might have felt a bit more. After all, he had been like Haldir's cushion to the floor. Not that he had made a very good cushion, but he had been one nonetheless.

Upon hitting the floor, he let out a sound that seemed very similar to that which people made when they had the wind knocked out of them. Haldir of course took advantage of this and sat up. He figured that it probably didn't help Sauron much however as in this repositioning he was now sitting squarely in the middle of Sauron's back to keep him pinned to the ground, but he wasn't that worried about his discomfort.

Elhith stood to the side and watched Haldir begin the task of trying to make the mess attached to Sauron's head look a bit more like hair. Frankly, he found it a bit interesting. On one side he felt bad for Sauron's head because it was going to be sore when Haldir was done, but on the other he felt bad for the brush. Even inanimate things should not have to take that kind of abuse.

Presently Sauron seemed to get his breath back, and he let out a pretty steady stream of curses for the next few minutes. Some of them Haldir found quite original. While he yelled these at them, he tried to wiggle free. All of these attempts to get loose were unsuccessful however. Factors that were against him included that he had landed on his right arm and so he only had use of his left one, and that his head was pretty much anchored to the brush by this time so that Haldir just about held reign over him.

After a bit he stopped squirming to Haldir's relief. It had started to get really annoying. However it didn't stop the ranting and yelling at all. If anything it only made it worse. After all, now all of his energy could be focused on that task.

"What do you think you are doing!?"

"Well, I was kind of thinking that I was trying to fix your hair."

"Get off of me! I can't breathe!"

"I'm sure that you're able to breathe because otherwise you would not be wasting your breath on talking. And I'm not getting off until I'm done because I know that you will just run off if I do or else pelt me with jewelry."

"I did not sign up for this," he complained.

"Of course you didn't, you only promised me. You wouldn't write something like this down. That would just be silly, don't you think?"

"I didn't actually mean what I said!"

"Obviously I did though. I kept up my end, therefore you have to keep up yours."

"But I never keep- OW! Hey, that's attached!"

"Sorry," Haldir apologized as he tried to untangle another evil snarl.

"As I was saying, I never keep my word. It's something I'm known for."

"Maybe we can change that then. What do you think?"

"Somehow I do not think this is the method to use in going about trying to change my natural tendencies."

"Well it's the way we're going to try today. Now stop talking. It keeps making your head move and that is how come I keep ending up tugging at you."

That did not seem to be a good enough argument. "Can't you just leave my hair alone?"

"Not really. Besides I'm like a quarter of the way done."

"Only a quarter!" Sauron cried.

"I tell you, if you're quiet, I'll get done much faster."

"You're stupid."

Haldir raised a brow but did not answer this random statement. Instead he momentarily forgot that he held the brush and that normally you didn't just suddenly pull it up.

Sauron yelped. "OUCH! What are you trying to do, scalp me?"

Although he smiled, he still remained silent.

As he had suspected, it did take a while to get done. However, unlike he has suspected, there were no strange families of animals nesting within the tangles either. And even though there was still probably a ton of salt in Sauron's hair, it wasn't as bad as he had thought it would be.

Finally, right about the time that his left leg was falling asleep from being sat on, Haldir had gotten all the hair untangled. He couldn't help but frown a bit when he wondered if Sauron's whole lower body was asleep by now after having had him squashing it for who knew how long. At least it was not his problem.

While for a moment Haldir considered finishing the task as he would have done to his own hair, meaning to braid parts of it back to keep it out of his face, he figured that he'd let Sauron retain some amount of dignity and not give him braids. It might be a bit much. Just having it look like normal hair was a big enough step as it was.

He got up slowly, leaning on his right leg since the other one was tingling from waking up. Elhith gave him a hand and then they stood there for a minute waiting for Sauron to do something. He hadn't said anything for a while, and after having been stuck in that position for so long one would think that he'd move as soon as he had the chance.

"I hope I didn't kill him," Haldir said, not really believing or meaning any of the words he said in that statement.

"I don't die quite that easily," was the reply to this.

Sauron flipped himself over, cringing all the while. "My legs…" he said, wiggling his feet and instantly groaning. "It hurts!"

"Well if it helps any, my leg is doing the same thing."

"Yeah, ONE of your legs. This is both of mine! And my arm! Oh, needles… I hate this. Now I remember why I didn't like having these sorts of bodies. The circulation in the appendages always gets cut off for stupid reasons and then it hurts. Oww… Like it wasn't enough that I feel as though I am probably going to be walking around with my skull protruding out of my head, I also have to have lost feeling in like two thirds of my body."

"If it hurts you're feeling something though," Haldir pointed out.

"You know what I mean."

Haldir shrugged. "Want to try and stand?"

"No," Sauron answered, and there was an almost pouty note to his voice.

"Suit yourself then. We'll wait for you."

"How considerate," Sauron replied sardonically.

"Well you know that is just my goal in life so I do what I can."

By now Haldir was not feeling pins in his leg anymore, and with Elhith they both sat down in the hall as they waited for Sauron's legs to recover also. He had a feeling that it might be a while.

Haldir took this time to check on his handiwork. Even though anything would have probably been a step up from what it had been, Sauron's hair looked quite nice. Haldir congratulated himself on the success of his mission. In fact, now having the tunic that was in decent shape along with hair that actually looked like hair, Sauron could easily pass for anybody else on the streets. Again Haldir had the feeling that there was something inanely wrong with that but tried not to dwell on it long. And besides, he still had an expression that could have wilted plants and curdled milk.

Finally after a minute or two, Sauron got up, even if he did complain. Haldir was not bothered by it on this occasion however. If anything he was pleased. Punishments were only so when the person receiving it was not happy with it.

"I swear, I'll get you back for this Haldir."

"You should be thanking me."

Sauron snorted. "Not likely even if it had been something that I wanted you to do. Never going to happen for something I didn't want you to do."

"Oh, it looks fine."

"That's the problem."

"What is wrong with it actually looking okay? I'm sure that not everything you have has to be 'bad'. After all, you just got new clothes, which can hardly be called anything negative, and you seemed pretty pleased with it."

"That is different though. My old clothes were just nasty, and nasty is different from what you are categorizing as 'bad'. Of course the clothes aren't bad either; it's impossible for them to have such an alignment since they are not alive."

"You know what I was getting at though."

"Yes I do. So basically all I have to say is that the clothes were bought under certain criteria which I was looking for. On the other hand, perfect hair was not something I was looking for, therefore it causes a problem," he said, patting his head to feel his hair. The changing of his expression was intriguing; it was something new every couple seconds.

"Nothing to worry about then, since your hair is not perfect."

Sauron sighed and dropped his hands back to his sides. "Hopeless, completely and utterly hopeless," he mumbled to himself as he went down the stairs, leaving a laughing Haldir and Elhith behind.

*****

Yeah, I'm gonna start putting * before and after the chapter cause it just looks better than having the one space between replies and the writing. So you know. Well, I think that was a productive chapter week, don't you? You better or else I will be sad.