Okay, I have an excuse. After all those chapters during Spring Break and with the start of school again my creativity deflated and died. I had to take a bit of time to bury it and get a new one. That's all there is to it! I'm sure you know how it is.
As a side note, I just want to say that my group did very well at our Julius Caesar rap and that I think I pulled off my death by wooden spoon quite nicely.
Anyways, this chapter is a bit brief all things considered, but I thought it would tide you over until I can think of a tactful way to move the story up like a whole year. Something which is proving to be a bit difficult. I'll get there though.
Reviews! Awesome, I got the most ever for that chapter! Weee!
Elderberry: Elhith just never has had to do stuff like that before so he isn't very subtle. And I'm sure that Sauron likes nice hair, but it just isn't right for him to admit it!
di-sama: I thank you for your ideas, but I do have a bit of a plan. I just need to get over this jump between the time it's at now and to the next year. And Haldir rocks. Hehe. Thank you for reviewing!
Black Thunder44: Scaray huh?
XNemesis: Serious ewwww. *pause* No, more ewww is required. Ewww. Okay, that's enough. I'm glad that even though it was freaky at first that you got over it and enjoyed the chapter! Where in the book are the names and stuff? I have that booky, and I'd like to look, but I haven't the patience to actually go through it!
Ruler-of-Da-World: Most of the time I want to laugh really loud everybody is asleep so I have to contain it and that is not healthy. And I agree, I think that Elhith was born in Valinor and never had a taste of naughtiness. Eh… I hate mold. It's nasty. But not as much as I hate fetal pig. But here is the chapter, even if it is half a week later than usual.
AAAClub: I'm so glad you love it! I'll try my hardest to keep it that way too!
Pherhyandoiel: My inspiration for that was the fact that at the moment from the knee down on my right leg was asleep, which I hate too! You'd be surprised how many thing are in here that work their way in from the fact that they happened to me…
Darth T-Rex: I'm glad you liked this chapter! Hopefully I can make even better ones in the future, but we'll have to see!
AzureDragoness: Here's more! And by now I think I have a consensus that it was a productive week. Go me!
Twisted Mary Sue: Uh… you can't say stuff like that. It'll scar the poor Frotu's mind. And I think that anybody would like to have somebody who was once (or is) more powerful than themselves under their sway. It's how the human psyche works. Probably a bad explanation but I can't take more time for it. And you're funny enough, it is just in a twisted way, which is fitting! And you didn't update either. Boo.
Kit Cloudkicker: Hehe… Haldir has more than that. He has a down right bad side, it just hasn't come out. Yet.
Thu: *laughs hysterically and falls off chair, only to continue laughing for the next ten minutes, giving self a hernia* TTTHHHHUUUUUU!!!! Okay I'm done. And you can tell Forkie that she would have gotten a 136 if she hadn't turned it in early. *raspberry*
Carmen: I knew you'd like that chapter. I'm smaaart.
Okay, I'm good now! Here's the chapter! Mind, it is a little sad and pathetic cause I did write it late last night, but it is only like a snack. Yup.
*****
Haldir was laying on the couch staring up at the ceiling. He was bored. Beyond belief. And that wasn't really a good thing considering that it had been a bit of a habit of his that upon getting bored that he would end up getting into some sort of mischief to amuse himself.
Considering this for a minute, he figured that it was that which had led his parents to send him off to learn to fight upon the marches.
However there were no marches in Valinor. Well, there probably were he thought, but it wasn't as though they actually had to be protected. There wasn't anything bad there. Except for Sauron of course but he didn't really count.
Sighing he flipped over and got up, twirling the comb that he still had in his hand and then flicking it into a container that looked like it would work nicely as a garbage. It really was too bad about the comb. But after having something like a third of its teeth broken off it wasn't worth much.
Sauron had grumbling about the whole thing for the rest of that afternoon, and probably still was, but had been taking it better than Haldir had really expected. For a while he had groused in his room, and then he had groused in the study. After that he had gone off somewhere else where Haldir had figured he had groused too.
Now when Haldir went into the kitchen, he found Sauron there leaning against the counter. He was looking up at all the different things in the cupboards and drawers while spinning some of his hair in his hand in a thoughtful manner.
This Haldir found a bit funny, but he figured that he had degraded Sauron enough for the day and would not point out that he was playing with his hair. However if he caught him doing it again, it was likely he'd rub it in a bit.
Coming into the room he leaned against the counter too. "What are you looking at?" Haldir asked when Sauron didn't acknowledge his presence.
Sauron glanced over him momentary but did not answer. He also promptly dropped his hand from his head.
"Well?" Haldir persisted.
"I'm not looking at something, I'm looking for something," he said finally.
"What are you looking for then?"
"Does it really matter?"
"Not particularly. Just thought that perhaps I could help you find it."
Sauron sighed. "I'm looking for something to eat if you're so keen to know."
"Oh, finally hungry?" he asked with a smile.
"No, I just am bored and it'd be something to do."
Haldir thought that was amusing. Sauron was turning out to be even stranger than he thought he would have been. Never had the thought of using food to fill time occurred to him. "You know if you just eat when you're bored you'll get fat."
Turning to him, Sauron gave him one of those 'honestly' looks that Haldir was starting to think he could be famous for. "Do I really look like I'm in danger of that happening any time in the near future?" he asked.
Haldir shook his head. "Not really. So, are you sure that you are just wanting to eat because you're bored and not because you're hungry?"
"Yes," he said quickly.
However the very next moment his stomach growled so loudly that the people in the house next to them could probably hear.
There was a long pause. Haldir felt as though he was doing something bad to the muscles in his stomach by trying not to laugh. Sauron bit his lip for a moment and then smiled cheerlessly. "Okay, I'm hungry. There isn't anything I can do about it, try as I might."
"I know. It isn't like I don't get hungry either." He looked up at the cupboards now too. "So what did you have in mind?"
"Something edible preferably."
"No really," Haldir muttered.
"What do you normally eat?"
"Ugh," Haldir said, deciding that the whole thing was ridiculous.
He stepped forward and began to rummage around to see what sort of things could be eaten without any preparation. Surprisingly not much turned out. While it had seemed that there was an abundance of food that morning, there wasn't anything now that could be eaten as it was.
"Well, that's just… disappointing," he said finally as he shut the last cupboard.
"There's nothing?"
Haldir held up something that resembled a fruit in some manner and tossed it to Sauron. "That's the extent of what I could find."
Catching it, Sauron looked at it with slight interest. But the interest did not seem to go far enough to the point of eating it. "That's lovely," he said setting it down on the counter. "Well?"
Haldir blinked at him. "Well what?"
"What are you going to do?"
"What am I going to do?" he asked laughing. "Nothing, why should I?"
"Because."
He raised a brow. "Care to elaborate?"
"No."
"Well 'because' is not really going to cut it."
"Come now, you can figure it out. What are you going to make or whatever?"
Again Haldir laughed, even harder this time. "You expect me to make something?"
Sauron nodded. "In more words or less."
"I thought you said that you wanted something edible."
He squinted. "I do. I don't want to be leaning over a bucket for the rest of the night regurgitating my first meal."
"That's disgusting. I don't need to hear things like that, especially when you are expecting me to make something to eat."
"Well geeze, do you realize how long its been since I've had to watch what I said to prevent people from getting nauseated?"
"A long time, I bet."
"Yes, like…" he looked off, obviously counting mentally to try and figure out the number of years it had been.
Haldir decided that they didn't have time for that and elbowed him in the arm. "Well, if you are expecting me to make something, you have to help. I've never cooked."
Sauron tilted his head at him a little. "You've never cooked?"
"No. Have you?"
There was a pause just long enough to make the answer questionable. "No…"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes…"
"… Are you still sure?"
"Yes! Shut up, I haven't cooked!"
"I think you have."
Sauron made a sound of frustration. "I don't cook! When do you think I would have cooked? I've lived in a tower in the middle of a volcanic ash field. And besides that and the fact that I was always plotting destruction, dark lords don't cook!"
"What about before you were a dark lord then?"
Again there was another questionable pause. "A bit maybe."
Haldir laughed right out. He set his head on his arms over the counter and just laughed and laughed. Once or twice he even snorted. By the time he got it out of his system he had to wipe his eyes. If only everybody knew that Sauron, who had always seemed to be so scary, had actually cooked.
Sauron just looked at him haughtily through the whole thing. "It was only once or twice when they needed help during festivals. And it wasn't much so don't think that I was over filling pastries or breaking parsley to garnish things."
This suggestion made Haldir laugh again and Sauron rolled his eyes. "Garnish! You even know what garnish is!"
"Will you stop it? I do not see what is so funny. At least I know how to some extent. You'd just starve to death."
"I never starved."
"Well then if you don't make your food, where'd you get it?"
"I got rations; everything was already made by the time I got it."
"See, at least I can take care of myself," Sauron said.
"Yes, falling off boats and not being able to remember if you're hungry really counts as taking care of yourself."
"Anyways, back to the food," Sauron said changing the subject while looking down at his stomach which had complained again. "I need something."
"You should have eaten when we were out and I got something."
"But I wasn't hungry then!"
"I told you that you would be!"
"I didn't know!" Sauron said, pounding his fist down on the counter.
"Okay, fine! We'll figure it out! Keep your tunic on, gracious…" He prodded through the cupboards, but then thought better of it. "What do you know how to make?"
"Eh…" Sauron began, frowning. "I can't remember. It was really simple though."
"Well, if I toss something out here, will you be able to make something?"
"Maybe. Not likely. And anything I could do probably wouldn't be pretty."
"Well, we'll see what we can do then."
As was foreseen, it wasn't pretty. Not at all. In fact, it was downright ugly.
Thirteen minutes before they had started, they were fanning smoke around the kitchen to try and get it to disperse. While the hearth probably could have taken normal cooking, this probably did not count as normal cooking.
While it had looked fairly decent to begin with, close enough to what would be bread, something had gone horribly wrong in the hearth. They had been sitting at the table where Haldir had been trying to convince Sauron to play rock, parchment, swords, which had just about been a game in itself.
Then they both had noticed a weird smell and after looking at each other with confused expressions they had figured it out and rushed over to the hearth only to find that nearly the whole inside had caught fire.
And so there they were. They had gotten the flames out and were now trying to fan the smoke around.
Haldir coughed. "Who's idea was this again?"
"Well I was hungry, but you are the one who said that I could make it," Sauron replied.
"Tell me never to let you do so again."
"Don't worry about it; I don't plan on doing so again. It's so servile."
"You were making it for yourself though," Haldir pointed out.
"Well… it was still servile. I should have other people come and make it for me."
Haldir ignored this. "I think we learned a good lesson. Never cook," he said after sneezing again.
"Agreed."
They continued on for a few minutes more, even when Elhith came down and looked at them with shock as they were jumping all over the kitchen flapping towels around madly. He stared at them for a minute and then just turned back and went upstairs again, shaking his head.
Finally most of the smoke cleared and they sat down again in silence. Yet silence in that house seemed to be a rare thing.
"I'm still hungry," Sauron said.
Haldir rolled his eyes and sighed, but couldn't help but laugh.
*****
Yeeea! Sorry if that was stupid, but it's what you're getting so too bad! Muahahaaaa… eh, I'm too tired to laugh evilly.