Sooooooo sorry, I really am. We started a poetry unit in my English class and that has pretty much sucked me dry of my creative fluids. I hardly have enough of that to get by for the stupid poems!! We do like 2 a week, and it is a lot more than it sounds like once you get all the requirements in. I truly am sorry that this took like a month. Baaaad Frotu. This short thing is the best I could do for you guys at the moment. But I get out of school in less than a month, so then I shall be free!! Then the chapters will role out faster. Okay?
My beautiful reviewers, you make me smile!!
Elderberry: Well, so far so good -- the spoof hasn't been pulled down yet. Yet. Hopefully it won't. I don't know about them ganging up on Elhith. He's such a nice egg… but we'll see.
GollumRox: Hehhh… that's funnay. I think that Thu is really hurt that you turned him down to floss your otter. He's crushed. He hasn't blown up any birds or squirrels in a long time.
AAAClub: You must not know the plan for if you do you shall not be surprised!! And surprise is the storyteller's favorite part! Muehehehehe!!! I did use savvy. And I apologize that I didn't update soon.
Twister Mary Sue: Well jeez, don't brag about it!! I had to have somebody okay the plan plan plan anyways… but… yeah. Monty Python rocks.
Ruler-of-Da-World: Sauron's just a scheming sort of bloke isn't he? Elhith just feels like the character that has to be around to take care of Haldir and Sauron. Poor guy. Anywho, may I add a thank you for the stuff you read from the book? That was spiffy. Somehow I soaked up the obsession with order somewhere down the line… I have way too much brain space used up on trivial things like that. But it's weird, eh? Normally the bad dudes are all about chaos… oh well. And YES, I know how long it took and I feel bad!! That's why I had to put up at least this crappy chapter!! The next chapter will be better! I'll try to work on it this weekend! Okay!? : (
Carmen: We're just never gonna get you over the eye thing, are we dear? You're stuck in the world of flaming eyeballness forever I believe. You know, you're like the only bud from here that still reads this? You get like a thousand bonus points.
pherhyandoiel: I'm glad that the chapter seemed to come at the right time! That's always good!
XNemesis: Ainur are cool. Mhm. Spiffay stuff! And that's creepy about the bong water. It is my experience that anywhere that you would have many people speaking Spanish is not a good place to drink any sort of water. Having lived in Arizona, I learned that some water shouldn't be given to animals…
Just Curious: Hello!!! Glad you like it, I try to make it entertaining! And yes, there will be a reunion soon, so there is your hint. I do try very hard to get facts straight, so having somebody appreciate that is very nice! And of course Sauron can't be a perfect little angel in the end. That's like… too twisted and wrong for words.
Poo: You're a fast reader, you'll get there. I have all the faith in the world.
AzureDragoness: Well did you realize that Scoops are metal and Spatulas tend to be wood and plastic? Muahahaha!! Yeah, and I'm very sorry if this chapter is not enough, but it is all I can do at the moment. If you want to come and destroy me for taking so long, just note that I won't be able to write any at all after that… And walls are terrible. They jump out of nowhere and attack you!
Spoofmaster: So the names were good then aye?
Kit Cloudkicker: Amen to that.
Feagliniel: Sauron and Gandalf should have a firework fight! Hahaha… or not. Sorry, I've seen Zoolander a few too many times I guess. I rode a horse once for two hours and that was bad enough!! That in itself was a bit stupid on my part I think… and yes, while Elhith is too nice to him, he's just too nice period. He can't help it!!
Phew! I think I finished that! I promise promise promise to do better. And I can promise that because the year is gonna start wrapping up soon with finals coming, so the homework load should ease off. Ahh… summer. Mmmm... Anyways, here's the lame old tiny chapter!
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Obviously he had thought way too quickly when he had decided that perhaps Sauron had changed a bit. It had been a simple mistake to make however; he hadn't done anything really terrible for the last three weeks. In that amount of time it would have been easy to forget the remark he had made the night of his return.
So now Haldir was sitting in the kitchen, very perturbed. That morning he had been in an alright mood, all things considered, but ever since he had sat down at the table his mood had instantly soured.
He was stuck to the table.
Yes. He was stuck to the table. His leg was irrevocably latched to it at the moment by some strange looking device.
While he wasn't sure how everything had worked, he did know how he got in the present situation. The root of the problem was sitting in front of him.
Haldir sighed and set his chin in his hand. "And what is this for?" he asked, pulling at his leg for the roughly three inches it would go and listening to the clunk of the metal against the wood table leg.
"I need to ask for a favor," Sauron said.
"You know, normally when a person wants a favor, they don't go about it by LOCKING PEOPLE TO TABLES!" he seethed, yanking at the thing again for emphasis.
While he did wince slightly, Sauron shrugged. "I don't have very good negotiation skills, I know. See normally for me my negotiations work by making an offer that, if refused, is countered by me sending out a massive army to crush those who denied the offer. So, considering the luck that I had last time trying to negotiate with you, I decided to act in a way that was closer to my normal means of operation."
"And how do you think that this will get me to cooperate with your little scheme?"
Sauron did not answer but walked over to the counter, picking up a large plate piled with food. "Elhith had to leave early today," he began, sitting back down at the table and picking through the food while at the same time seeming to try and suppress what was turning out to be a pretty demonic grin. "He said that somebody who normally ran one of the ships that brings the people from Mandos to here was going to be gone for a couple of days and so he needed to fill in," he concluded through a mouthful of food.
"That is disgusting," Haldir said. "I am sure somewhere you have a store of manners that you could drag out."
Sauron looked at him for a moment. Then he opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue, displaying all of the half chewed food.
Haldir cringed, and then sighed. "Should have seen that coming," he lamented.
Meanwhile Sauron swallowed and then continued. "Anyways, since he's going to be out of town, it's just going to be you and me for the next couple of days."
Seemingly done with his little speech to let Haldir figure out the unsaid parts of it, Sauron now leaned back on the hind legs of the chair while continuing to chow down on more of the food.
Haldir groaned and let his arms fall down on the table with a loud slap. It just wasn't fair.
And to make matters worse, the food smelled really good right then and he was actually pretty hungry. Even that unpleasant display a little bit ago hadn't made the fact that his stomach was complaining loudly go away.
"Want some?" Sauron asked, holding the tray out within reach of Haldir.
Haldir looked at him suspiciously.
"Come on now, it is not like I can let you starve. I would get in tons of trouble for that, which would be a pity since I have recently been getting some amount of standings around here."
Slowly Haldir put one hand out to take something off it, but the platter was pulled away abruptly. Sauron let the front legs of the chair come down with a clap.
"So I won't let you starve, I will just keep you painfully hungry. That is, unless you agree to take me where I want to go."
"How about you unlock me from the chair and I take you where you want to go?"
Sauron waved his hand at the statement. "I was planning on it. Agree?"
"Well, actually, I'd like to know where it is that I'm agreeing to take you to first."
"Oh, well, you would, wouldn't you?"
"Yes."
"I need to go out to the beach."
Haldir frowned at this, trying to see how that worked exactly. "So, you are wanting me to take you near a large body of water?" he said slowly.
"Not so much wanting, but I need to."
"Why?"
"I need to talk to Osse."
Haldir paused. "Again, why?"
"Because I do."
"When will you figure out that 'because' will never work as a reason?"
Sauron's grin was gone by now. "You are so frustrating, you know that? How did you live as long as you did? Did you get a lot of death threats or anything?"
"Actually I didn't get any. And I'm sure that I'm not nearly as frustrating as you are."
Sauron took a second to figure out a comeback, but he got one. "Well I guess I win in something else, don't I?"
Haldir shook his head. "You have such a warped view of everything. Anyways though, before we get completely off of topic, what are you wanting to talk to Osse about?"
"I'm just wanting to set up some relations with people, you know, get along and all that stuff." Sauron finished with an expression that would have been sincere on anybody else, but since it was Sauron Haldir instantly distrusted it.
"And the first person you want to set this up with is somebody who spends about all of their time in the water?" he asked, raising a brow.
"Well, actually you see, we have some things in common," Sauron replied.
"How so?"
"Mmm… well, we both have a bit of an interest in violence and stuff like that."
"Oh great! Now I'm really gonna take you there!" Haldir said in exasperation.
Sauron got up and leaned over the table. "You don't seem to be in much of a position to say no to taking me! You're locked to this table, and unless you want to become really good friends with it over the next couple days, you are going to take me!"
"Fine, I'll be friends with the table! Go see if I care!"
"Fine!"
Sauron then stormed out of the kitchen, and Haldir, unable to do any such thing considering the state he was currently in, contented himself with yanking at the device on his leg in frustration.
Not long after that however Sauron came back to the kitchen and grabbed the plate from the table. After giving Haldir a very snooty look, he marched back out again. All the same however, it really ruined his exit.
Haldir had gone without eating for a while before and figured that he would be able to take going on for the rest of the day.
So for the rest of the day he went on, and although he was hungry it wasn't anything terrible. What was really bad was that he got very bored of looking around the kitchen. That and he had to go to the bathroom.
Occasionally Sauron would come by and casually scoff at him. Haldir ignored him for the most part until that afternoon when it was getting close to where he did not have any choice. He was going to have to give in.
When Sauron came by the next time after that he called him in. "I give up. I'll go. Just tomorrow, okay?"
With a triumphant grin, Sauron nodded.
"Okay, get me out of this thing."
Sauron came over, taking out a key out of his pocket and then unlocking the shackle like thing around Haldir's leg.
"Where did you get that anyways?" Haldir asked as he stood up for the first time in hours, the room spinning immediately.
"I made it."
"Oh, of course you would have. And I suppose it was a secret thing that nobody else knew about and that you weren't supposed to make?"
"Yup."
"Great, I wouldn't have expected any less," Haldir said with a sigh.
He grabbed a couple fruits out of a basket on the counter and then made his way upstairs without another word. However Sauron followed behind him and quickly spoke up.
"So tomorrow then?"
"Yes, tomorrow."
"Early?"
Haldir rolled his eyes. "I have a feeling that even if I wanted to go later in the day that it would not matter at all. You would still probably steal my sheets or something annoying like that whenever it was that you were good and ready to head out."
"That's a pretty fair assessment," Sauron consented.
"I knew it would be."
"So what are you doing now?"
"I'm going to sleep."
Even though he was turned away, Haldir could tell that Sauron was having trouble with that and needed to figure something out about it for some reason.
"But, it's still light out," he pointed out finally.
Haldir smirked, yet at the same time he was a bit bothered by how remarkably like a child Sauron acted at times. Such a comment was something that Haldir was sure he had heard Rumil or Orophin say somewhere down the line when he had watched them when they had been little.
"I know it is still light out, but if you don't want me to be crabby all day tomorrow because I didn't get to sleep as much as I wanted, then I need to go to bed early tonight."
"Oh," was the only reply.
And that finished it. While there was now a certain amount of peace, it was probably being paid at a higher price than he could understand at the moment, or so Haldir figured as he munched on one of the fruits. Yet at that time he was a bit too tired to really care.