Wishful Thinking
A Teen Titans fanfic by Lavender Gaia
Editing and Assistance by Emmi and Laine
Chapter 3: Letting Go
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any of its characters. They are all property of DC Comics.
Note: A scene of this was taken almost directly from The New Teen Titans #8. There was absolutely no way I could write it better, so I just tweaked the dialogue to fit my needs. Sorry Marv Wolfman!
Starfire finally decided to get up after a fitful night's sleep. It was doubtful that she got more than one hour at a time; she had constantly woken up during the night, not for any particular reason at all and that bothered her. There were voices out in the great room and she went to go see what was happening, abandoning all hope of rest.
The boys were sitting around the counter in the kitchen, eagerly eating what looked like pancakes. All the energy she had gathered from the thought of a good breakfast instantly fled when she saw Donna by the stove, wearing and apron and pouring batter on to a skillet.
"Morning, Star!" Cyborg greeted her. "Come and eat, they're great."
Tentatively, she sat down. "Good morning, friends."
"Would you like some pancakes, Starfire?" Donna offered. "I can even through some strawberries or bananas in for you."
"Oh, I want peaches!" Beast Boy raised his hand to get her attention. "Do we have peaches?"
"Beast Boy, you've already had five," she grinned at him, then looked to Starfire for her answer. "I can always make you plain."
"Anything is fine." The Tamaranean princess forced a smile and was presented with a plate of banana pancakes. She carefully cut them and took a bite. They were excellent, she was sure of it, though it only tasted like sawdust in her mouth.
Suddenly, Robin was standing in front of her. "Here, Star, don't you want mustard with it?" The familiar yellow bottle was in her hand.
"Oh, yes!" It was her first genuine smile of the day. Eagerly squirting the yellow liquid over the breakfast food, her mood suddenly perked up. And the pancakes were good. Mustard made everything better.
Unfortunately, while putting the bottle down, she forgot her own strength and more mustard squirted through the top and landed on the Kiss the Cook apron Donna was wearing. "I…I did not mean to!" Inside, there was a sick satisfaction at seeing her less than perfect for once. Starfire was horrified at herself.
"It's ok, really," the Amazon removed the blue apron and ran it under water from the sink. "That's why we wear aprons after all. It'll wash out, no harm done."
The redhead nodded slowly, sickened that her subconscious could be so openly cruel. And now the pancakes tasted like sawdust again. Lovely.
Usually tension is broken when someone new walks into a room, but the same properties don't apply when that person is Raven. "Hey, Rae," Beast Boy greeted her. "You want some pancakes? Donna made them."
"I never knew you could cook," Robin told his friend with a raised eyebrow.
"I don't cook, I follow the recipe on the back of the box," She grinned. "But between me and Diana who do you think is more likely to make sure we have food? Anyway, Raven, we have any kind you want. Just name it."
"I'm just going to make myself some tea."
"You sure, Raven? They're really good." Cyborg was trying to lighten the mood. He wasn't sure, but he thought that he was the only one who realized Starfire hadn't apologized.
The dark woman looked over at Starfire, who was pushing her pancakes around in the mustard, trying to make shapes. "I'm positive." She put a mug full of water in the microwave and sat on the couch.
Beast Boy shrugged. "Can I have hers?"
Donna held up a plate. "I have eight left. Who wants some?" All of the boys raised their hands. "Ok, ok," she put two on all of their plates, then left the remaining two for herself.
A few minutes later, Beast Boy sat back, patting his stomach. "Dude, that was great. Can you cook every day?"
"Well, I wouldn't expect anything gourmet, but I'll do my best."
"Man, BB, she's supposed to be our guest, not our chef!" Cyborg shook his head at his younger friend's carelessness. "Don't worry about it, Donna, you don't have to cook for us."
"No, its ok, I want to! I should carry my weight around here too." She started collecting everyone's dishes and putting them in the sink to soak. "Don't you have anything to say, Dick?"
He crossed his arms over his chest. "Nope, you're too stubborn. Wouldn't do any good if I said anything anyway."
"The Prince of Obstinacy is calling me stubborn?" she faced him with a look of surprise. To his side he heard Beast Boy sneeze; a sneeze that sounded rather like "Hypocrite!"
Robin shrugged. "What can I say, you take after your sister. And if I'm the prince, who's the king?"
She smirked. "Guess."
It didn't take him more than a few moments to figure it out. "Prince of Gotham, Prince of Obstinacy, am I always going to come in second place to him?"
Before Donna could answer, Cyborg interrupted. "Hate to butt in on you guys bickering like an old married couple—it's cute, really—but I got stuff to do in town. So if you want me to drive you…"
"Oh, right, we're sorry. I'm ready to go if Dick is." Donna looked at her longtime friend, who was chugging down the rest of his milk.
"How long will you be gone for?" Starfire asked tentatively.
The trio exchanged a look. "I don't know about you two, but I have stuff to do," Cyborg explained.
"And I wanted to show Donna around. Let's say a couple of hours, at least," Robin smiled at Starfire. "We'll keep you updated. Call if something happens!" He instructed the rest of his team as Cyborg dragged him out the door.
"Finally," Raven grumbled, getting up to reheat the water that was still in the microwave. "I thought they'd never leave."
"What's wrong with you?" Beast Boy asked, not completely surprised by this outburst.
"I don't like her."
"Why not? She's nice, she can cook, she's related to WONDER WOMAN for Pete's sake, Raven! What's not to like?" He raised a green eyebrow at her until Raven gestured faintly to Starfire's sigh.
"You are right, Beast Boy," the Tamaranean agreed. "She is nice. And very pretty as well." And she hated her for it. Of course, it probably would have been easier to hate Donna if she didn't want to like her so much. She could see why she was friends with Robin; the two fit together well and she felt like a wheel that had suddenly gone flat and was put aside to bring in a new, better tire.
"Are you ok?" he asked the redhead, who was swirling the leftover syrup on her plate with her index finger.
"Oh, yes. I'm fine. Joyous. Wondrous. And other nice adjectives…" This was all spoken in a monotone that impressed even Raven.
"So, uh, do you want to do something today, Star?" Beast Boy asked. "I mean, it's not like we have to sit around here and wait for them. We could go to the mall."
Raven glared at the green man from over by the microwave; luckily, Starfire liked the idea. "We could go to the mall of shopping? Truly?"
The half-demon would have protested if she hadn't actually missed the delighted, hopeful look on her friend's face. "Sure. Why not."
"And, perhaps, we could see a film as well?" She suggested excitedly.
"Of course, Starfire!" Beast Boy answered quickly. "Whatever you want."
"Yeah. Whatever." From her spot in the kitchen, Raven glared at him. If looks could kill, he'd have died, been brought back to life in an obscure comic book manner, and then have died again. In other words, he'd have been Jean Grey.
"I wish to see House of Fleas!" Starfire told her friends, as if something amazing had happened, like she'd won the lottery or cafeteria chili was suddenly not radioactive.
"…isn't that the movie with the talking animals?" Raven twitched, straining the last two words.
"Talking animals?" Beast Boy looked at them incredulously. "Who ever heard of that?"
"You…you do not wish to see it?" Starfire's face fell and an air of desperation fell over the room.
"No, no, we do!" her friends assured her.
"Oh, joyous!" She exclaimed, and this time she really meant it. She went downstairs to leave, her two friends following her and wondering what they had gotten themselves into.
"Man, girl, do you really need all that?" Cyborg chuckled as Robin loaded Donna's fifth and final suitcase into the trunk of the T-Car.
"Just because you wear the same clothes every day doesn't mean I have to," she smirked.
"Touché." He started up his baby after Robin climbed back into the passenger seat. "Where did you guys wanna go? I was just thinkin' of walking around the park for a while."
"That sounds fine," Robin nodded and Cyborg went on his way. He parked on the sidewalk, then got out and started walking. "So, where are we going?" his leader asked.
Cyborg looked at him warily, trying to think of a good way to say "Get lost." Luckily, Donna came to his rescue. "Dick, I think he wanted to walk alone. So we'll take this path." She pointed to the one away from his and started pushing Robin down it.
He sighed with relief. For a while he'd wanted to get out and get some exercise that involved clearing his head, not preparing for Slade to attack. It was peaceful in the park until something hit him on the head.
"Huh?" Cyborg blinked, and looked around. "What in the…"
"Hey, it's you again!" Suddenly, the kid that he had seen the time after their first battle with Mumbo was there. "Cyborg!"
"Hey, kid," the half-man smiled, then reached down to pick up the baseball that had knocked him in the head. "Still haven't learned to catch, huh?"
Before he could answer, a feminine voice called. "Johnny? What's taking you so long? And haven't I told you not to bother—Oooh!"
Cyborg stared in awe at the pretty blonde who had just come through, followed by a flock of kids. Her blue eyes blinked at him in surprise; apparently, this hadn't been what she was expecting. "It's ok, Miss Simms!" The little boy, obviously Johnny, told her. "It's Cyborg! He's just like us. He's got a prosthetic too. Only his are really shiny and neat."
"Someone pinch me and wake me up…" Cy muttered under his breath, amazed at the way her hair curled so nicely around her shoulders.
"I see what you mean," she grinned. "But you shouldn't bother strangers."
"So, who's a stranger? My name's Cyborg, of the Teen Titans," he introduced himself formally.
"And I'm Sarah Simms, their counselor," she told him.
"Counselor? I don't get it."
"All these kids go to a special program," Sarah explained quietly. "They all have prosthetics of one sort of another. And they're out here, well, to relearn things…to show them they can lead a full life again. Some of them weren't sure before. But now, they're learning, almost forgetting their problems."
"Miss Simms, c'n he play with us? C'n he, c'n he?" one of the children asked, tugging on Sarah's lavender t-shirt.
"Kids, he's probably very busy…" she started.
"Busy?" Cyborg cut in. "Miss Simms, somehow I don't think I got anythin' more important to do than play some ball. Man, never thought I'd say that again." He pat her back. "You sit down and relax. Me? I'm about to have some long overdue fun."
He started walking towards the field, Sarah blinking after him in amused surprise while the children cheered. "C'mon, you crummy kids—last one to the diamond's a lousy Imperial Stormtrooper!"
On the other side of the park, Robin and Donna were enjoying the pure blue sky and sunlight pouring down on them. "This is really nice, Dick," she told him with a bright smile.
"Sometimes we have cook outs here. We play football and Frisbee and stuff," he told her, reminiscing.
"That sounds like fun. Do you think we'd have a chance to do that while I'm here?"
"Sure, I'm sure we can arrange something." He put an arm around her shoulders. "Let me guess, you and Diana don't throw around a football a lot."
She laughed. "No, not exactly. I like it here though. It's…peaceful."
Before he could answer, a screech that could wake the dead reached their ears. "ROBBIE POOOOOO!"
Robin paled. "Oh, no, not her. She's supposed to be in jail!" He looked around frantically, trying to track the piercing scream. "Run." He took her hand and started going down the path.
"Dick…" she tried to tell him, following. "Dick!"
"Donna, we can't let her find me!"
"I know," she grinned, taking off. "That's why we're going to fly." She landed in a nearby tree, where they would be hidden and still have a view of the path below.
The blonde was searching wildly, muttering to herself. "I'll find you, Robbie. You're going to be all mine again!" After completing her search, she continued down the path, rants becoming less and less earsplitting.
"So…um, who was that?" Donna asked, holding back a giggle.
"Her name is Kitten," Robin said in disgust. "She's kind of obsessed with me."
"Oh? And here I thought you just owed her money."
He glared at her playfully. "More along the lines of she wants me to marry her and be her love slave forever and ever. She thinks I love her too."
Donna leaned against the trunk of the tree. "Why would she think that?"
"I took her to her Junior Prom."
"You leave your taste in Gotham or something?" she raised an eyebrow at him.
"I had to or she would release killer moths all over the city," he explained. "Trust me, it's more dangerous than it sounds. I try to block that night out of my head though." Except for dancing with Starfire, of course. He'd enjoyed that.
"Alright, whatever you say. So, are we just going to sit up here all day?"
He grinned, wrapping an arm around her waist and gently dropped to the ground, landing on his feet. She smiled and Robin realized that they were standing very close. This wasn't totally unwanted, not at all. "You know, there's a nice pond…we could go sit by it."
"I'd like that." They walked out on to the path and he led her to a shady bench next to the lake. A few ducks came up and Donna held on in her hands. "They're so cute."
"Yeah, they are." He remembered Bruce saying something about Wonder Woman having an affinity to animals and this apparently passed down to Donna. That would also explain why Beast Boy was so enamored with the beautiful Justice League member.
When the duckling wandered back to its mother, she laid her head on his shoulder. Robin looked down at her; her eyes were just so blue. It was almost as if he was looking at a feminine mirror of himself, though if he was a girl he probably wouldn't think he was so hot.
"You're staring at me," she murmured without even looking at him.
"Sorry," he sat up, looking straight ahead.
"Hey, it's ok," she told him. "Just making an observation. Go ahead, stare away."
He did so. She really was beautiful. And apparently she enjoyed staring back at him. Before he knew it, they were kissing and he was enjoying the hell out of that. He hadn't done much kissing in his short time on earth, but this was a wow compared to what he had done.
Robin wasn't sure who had kissed who exactly, but this didn't stop his brain from going "Um, hello? Remember Starfire? The girl you love? Hot alien chick back at the big T?" His hormones would have told his brain to shut up, but they were too concentrated on the hot girl that was kissing him.
When they finally broke apart, he vaguely thought of how impressive their lung capacity was, then wondered whether or not that was normal. Donna's cheeks were flushed, but she looked happy and that was important. He kissed her again, a bit pissed that he could take down any bad guy that came near, yet he couldn't even control his damn hormones.
What about Starfire? The little voice continued.
But he knew that was too complicated. She was a teammate, she was an alien Princess (though why that was so much worse than an Amazon princess he didn't know), she was…Starfire. The fantasy girl that every guy wants, but no one truly ever gets. And she wasn't the one who was here right now, kissing him.
But one of the things about dream girls, as with any sort of dream, is that eventually you have to let them go. So even though his heart was calling out to him to rethink this, realize what he was giving up, he kissed Donna again, letting go.
Raven's left eye wouldn't stop twitching. House of Fleas had been over for almost ten minutes, but as Starfire used to crowded restrooms, Beast Boy had to stand with a pissed off half-demon who wanted to kill him. Currently, he wanted to turn into a turtle and crawl into his shell.
Starfire came out, floating happily. "Oh, that movie was most enjoyable!"
"Yeah. Sure," Raven grumbled. "Can we leave now?"
They left the theater and walked back through the mall. Starfire ooo'ed and aaah'ed at everything she saw as she window shopped. "Friends, please tell me, what is a Sephora?"
Beast Boy smirked as Raven's eyes widened in fear. "It's a shop for make up and perfume and stuff."
Starfire squealed with delight. "Oh, we must go!" She took Raven's arm and dragged her towards the store, while the green man heard the dark girl mutter, "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you."
He was about to go into EBGames to see if they had anything new he could be Cyborg at when something caught his eye. It was blonde hair, just the sight of it immediately stopped his heart. He knew that hair. He knew that back as it walked away from him.
"No way…" he whispered. "Terra?"
A/Ns: I'd just like to say now that Sarah Simms isn't an OC. She was a comic character that was first introduced in The New Teen Titans number 8. If you ever do get the comic, you will notice that most of the dialogue from that scene is more or less directly copied. It was just written so well in the comics that I couldn't bear to change it.
Questions, comments, reactions and reviews are greatly appreciated.
Starrydreamz: I'm glad you enjoy it. I hope you like this chapter.
Deadlyabyss12: Here's the next chapter!
Somekindafreaky: I love Donna, she's a great character. I don't understand why no one writes about her. I'm glad you like my X-men fics too.
Bree-2006: Robin can be such a guy and that's not a good thing in this case. He really cares about Star, but the mind, heart and hormones don't always agree. I'm really glad you like it though.
SuperracchiE: I'm so happy you're enjoying it. I hope you like this new chapter.
DOJ: At least Star has other friends to cheer her up, even if it includes watching a talking animal movie. Donna is very closely related to Diana (she's kind of like her Madelyne Pryor, without going crazy and trying to kill everyone).