PLEASE READ!! ~ For a while now I've been considering changing the title,
and after redoing chapter 17, I've finally got an idea for the change. The
new title I was thinking of was 'Naruto no Hohoemi'. For those of you who
don't know hohoemi means smile (Naruto's Smile). I've noticed it's a
pattern that moves from chapter to chapter. Please let me know which title
you all prefer... cause I don't want people to lose track of this story if
the title changes.
Chapter Title: 18. Damn You, Ebisu!
To say that Naruto was restless was an understatement. The hyperactive blond had been dying for a new mission, whether it be A-class or even D- class mission. He'd take anything, but the defeat of Orochimaru nearly four months earlier had scared off some of their earlier opponents, possible Sand allies, and all of Konoha's allies no longer needed the assistance of the shinobi to ensure their safety. The only missions were D-class and the few that there were had already been given to the lower ranking genins.
So all there was for Naruto to do was wander the streets and find ways to work off his cheerful energy, which found him resorting to the pranks from his younger days. Even though he rarely did them, the day of his own sixteenth birthday sparked an astounding burst of creative energy, and he expected some people to at least acknowledge his birthday and let him burn off his restlessness with them. No such luck. He woke up that morning with not a single birthday wish, making him a little bit tenser and even bitterer than he normally was.
He wandered the streets for a little bit, hoping someone would say something, but they all pretty much ignored him and went on their daily business. He quickly became infuriated and opted instead to take it out on the entire village. He hid behind a wall and, rubbing his hands together devilishly, began to form plots in his head to prank all those who had forgotten his special day.
"Oh well," he muttered to himself. "At least I'll have a little bit of fun today."
***
By mid-day, Naruto had successfully pulled off a number of pranks that would have made even Sandaime raise an eyebrow in amusement. Sakura had bright pink bubble gum stuck in her hair, and every time she thought it was finally out another gob would be thrown back in, leaving her to pick at it for hours until she finally got fed up and refused to leave the house for the rest of the day. Sasuke had most of his nice and dark clothes dyed a wonderfully bright pink, sharp enough to rival Sakura's gum-tormented hair. Even Kakashi wasn't impervious to the young trickster. All of his face masks had been painted with one of Naruto's infamous spirals. The entire village knew who the culprit was, but Naruto had managed to stay a couple steps ahead of them to avoid being caught and hurt.
He was tiptoeing back to his apartment, a wild grin etched on his face, when he came across his final victim. A delighted look took over the grin, as he saw the man hunched over a bridge, watching the water thoughtfully. He hated Ebisu and he knew Ebisu hated him, so what would he lose in pranking him? He would certainly gain a lot of laughs, and the pros out- weighted the cons by a long shot so... he grinned, deciding to go for it. And he knew the perfect Jutsu for the job. He hadn't used it in a long time, so it was about time to let his 'effeminate' side out for a few seconds, long enough for a lot of blood.
He nodded to himself when he had finalized the plan in his head and, jumping out from where he'd hid himself, he performed the jutsu flawlessly behind the unsuspecting sensei. One poof later a voice called out sensually to Ebisu.
"Ebisuu~!" she called. He turned and in an instant the young blond was right in his face, blowing him kisses and pressing her naked body up against his. The effect was instant, but definitely not what the boy-turned- girl was expecting. Not by a long shot. He closed his eyes immediately and placed his hands together in front of Naruto's face, performing a series of lightning fast seals. Another poof followed the jutsu and Ebisu pushed the blonde away from him, wiping his nose and keeping his eyes anywhere but on the sensuous body in front of him.
"That will show you, demon," he sniffed haughtily and turned away, like his words meant anything to him. Naruto blinked and watched the man leave, shaking his head and muttering cursed to the girl behind him. Apparently he had performed some sort of reflexive jutsu, but Naruto didn't understand what had happened. Nothing had changed and he was still standing there... with all of his limbs in the right place. He looked down to check and noticed that he had forgotten to release his jutsu. He closed his eyes and released his hold on the chakra. Opening his eyes slowly after hearing no telltale poof, he looked down again, only to find nothing had happened.
"GAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed. Or rather... SHE screamed.
***
Iruka looked to the door when the pounding started. He was already in a decidedly bad mood from the moment he'd woken up and the knocking wasn't helping any. He'd dozed off for a small nap earlier on and, not twenty minutes later, woken up to find that he'd been visited by Naruto's vengeful spirit, who'd left drawings all over the side of the chuunin's face in permanent marker. He'd been trying to scrub it off for the last two hours. He opened the door, only to faint dead, a trail of blood falling from his nose. The young blond girl at the door frowned angrily and stepped over his body, slamming the door shut and dragging the man inside.
"Baka perverted ass," she muttered, slapping his cheeks a little to wake him up again, making sure to cover herself a little more this time. When Iruka finally came around he was about to faint again, before he realized that it was the same little brat who'd coloured all over his face.
"You idiot!" he yelled. "Drop that stupid jutsu right now!" She narrowed her eyes at him.
"If I could have, I would never have walked all the way over here naked," she hissed back. Iruka blinked densely.
"Stop playing pranks for one second, Naruto!" he tried again, but the girl shook her head.
"I've tried that. It doesn't work. Believe me, I tried." The older shinobi stood up and ran to his room. The girl was about to go after him when he returned with a large black shirt and threw it over her.
"Put that on, and then explain this all to me," he growled, still not over the marks on his face. She obliged, and began telling him about the pranks and her attempt to prank the ever-so-'prankable' Ebisu.
"And then he did all of these seals and poof... I'm like this forever!!!" she cried dramatically, flinging her arms up into the air to add to the effect of her desperation. Iruka nodded, a smirk finding its way onto his face.
"I see. Ebisu has had to develop that jutsu to restrain Konohamaru from using it too often against him. It usually goes away after a short period of time, anywhere from a couple of minutes to ten. How long did it take you to get here, from the time you were sealed in that form to now?" he wondered. Naruto glanced at the clock on Iruka's wall and began panicking.
"Almost half an hour!" Iruka's eyebrows shot up. Ebisu must have been incredibly startled to have put so much chakra into that seal.
"Then your length of time just may be a little longer than the lengths Konohamaru is used to," Iruka explained. "There was one time Ebisu was so startled Konohamaru had to go through a week of school in his female form." He added, almost wincing in anticipation of Naruto's backlash. The blonde's eyes narrowed and then widened and then... closed as a stream of curses fell from her lips. So many and so vulgar were the words that Iruka winced.
"Well, it doesn't matter how long you curse, it can't be undone for now. You'll just have to wait until the seal wears off. Just be thankful it's only temporary." The young chuunin rolled her eyes, but nodded. That would be worse. "For now, you need some other clothes... I don't think you can wear my shirt for the whole time."
"What about my own clothes?" Naruto asked. Iruka chuckled.
"Unless you want to go parading it around that you've been sealed inside your own jutsu, I think you're going to need a new set of clothes." The blonde's shoulders sagged and she began pouting. Things weren't going right today. And on his birthday of all things.
"Fine," she huffed. Iruka got up and went into his room to find her a small set of pants to go with the shirt so she would be able to go out in public. When he finally came back he had found a pair of loose drawstring pants and a smaller t-shirt from when he was a little bit younger. She went into the bathroom and came out still looking small in the clothing. Iruka smiled, but didn't comment, knowing it would only infuriate the 'girl'.
"So where are we going first?" she asked him, pushing up her sleeves (that kept falling off her shoulders) looking ready to fight off an enemy.
"To see Tsunade." He grinned and dragged her outside, suddenly a little happier and slowly getting over the boy's earlier pranks.
"I thought you said we weren't going to let anyone else know my live was screwed over by that bastard!" she yelled.
"Well, she's a girl and Hokage and will know better ideas how to conceal your true identity," Iruka waved off her complaints.
***
Tsunade took one look at the girl, dressed in the baggy clothing and burst out laughing. Naruto glowered and tensed to jump at her, but Iruka's hand on her shoulder stopped her from attacking anyone in anger.
"It's not THAT funny, Tsunade-baba!" she yelled. "At least you ARE a girl in the first place. This is cruel and unusual punishment!!" She fought to contain her giggles and looked up and the steaming girl.
"Hai, I'll help Naruto-chan here." She nodded to Iruka.
"Don't you DARE call me Naruto-chan!!!" She was about to continue laughing when she caught Iruka looking at her expectantly. She shook her head and cleared her throat.
"Fine, fine, Naruto. What is it that you want to wear?" she asked. The girl shrugged her shoulders.
"Probably something that's not too revealing... after all this is... my body, but too much would totally ruin the purpose of the entire jutsu." She grinned despite herself. "I guess I also want to avoid being recognised..." Tsunade nodded and wrote a few things down on a scroll and handed it to Iruka.
"Take this to Kakashi. He may be able to help."
"WHAT!! I don't want Kakashi knowing too!" Tsunade frowned at him.
"Don't you want help with this? Or would you rather EVERYONE knows who you are as opposed to just a select few. It's not like we're telling anyone who wouldn't keep your secret." She sighed again and nodded, angry that the Hokage was right. Iruka nodded to the two young looking women and disappeared.
"So what did you write on that scroll?" Naruto asked, curiously.
"Just a couple of things to bring to help you with your style. Don't worry; I know just what to do with you," she grinned. Being on an all boys team at a young age, she didn't have much time to do girly things, and she was finally getting to play dress-up with a live doll. Naruto might have been having a bad day, but hers just got a whole lot more interesting. Naruto glanced up at the woman and sweatdropped at her expression of glee.
It had just occurred to him that coming to the Hokage with his problem might not have been such a good idea after all. He knew he was in for a wild ride. If only he hadn't gone for that last prank. No... if only Ebisu hadn't performed that stupid seal on him. If only Konohamaru hadn't overused his jutsu. NO! If only Naruto hadn't taught him it in the first place. ARGH!! Damn you, Ebisu!!!
~~~~~~~
Okay... until further notice, Naruto will be referred to as 'she', cause that's his gender now. Don't worry, I'm not going to call her 'Naruto' for long... but you'll just have to wait and see. I hope this gender thing isn't too confusing... everyone else's gender is pretty much the same. ^_^
Again, thx goes to Kotonaru who's helped me so much with this editing thing. I never could edit my own stuffs. Expect the next chapter in a week (or so, depending on how long it takes to get beta'd)...
I'm off for almost all of next week cause I don't have any exams so I should be able to catch up with my chapters... yeah, there's still tons more to go. (Someone accurately called it a saga) Who knows... it's my dream to one day write a fic or something that just about everyone reads... even if they don't review... course... I'd have to get GOOD first, ne? lol
Chapter Title: 18. Damn You, Ebisu!
To say that Naruto was restless was an understatement. The hyperactive blond had been dying for a new mission, whether it be A-class or even D- class mission. He'd take anything, but the defeat of Orochimaru nearly four months earlier had scared off some of their earlier opponents, possible Sand allies, and all of Konoha's allies no longer needed the assistance of the shinobi to ensure their safety. The only missions were D-class and the few that there were had already been given to the lower ranking genins.
So all there was for Naruto to do was wander the streets and find ways to work off his cheerful energy, which found him resorting to the pranks from his younger days. Even though he rarely did them, the day of his own sixteenth birthday sparked an astounding burst of creative energy, and he expected some people to at least acknowledge his birthday and let him burn off his restlessness with them. No such luck. He woke up that morning with not a single birthday wish, making him a little bit tenser and even bitterer than he normally was.
He wandered the streets for a little bit, hoping someone would say something, but they all pretty much ignored him and went on their daily business. He quickly became infuriated and opted instead to take it out on the entire village. He hid behind a wall and, rubbing his hands together devilishly, began to form plots in his head to prank all those who had forgotten his special day.
"Oh well," he muttered to himself. "At least I'll have a little bit of fun today."
***
By mid-day, Naruto had successfully pulled off a number of pranks that would have made even Sandaime raise an eyebrow in amusement. Sakura had bright pink bubble gum stuck in her hair, and every time she thought it was finally out another gob would be thrown back in, leaving her to pick at it for hours until she finally got fed up and refused to leave the house for the rest of the day. Sasuke had most of his nice and dark clothes dyed a wonderfully bright pink, sharp enough to rival Sakura's gum-tormented hair. Even Kakashi wasn't impervious to the young trickster. All of his face masks had been painted with one of Naruto's infamous spirals. The entire village knew who the culprit was, but Naruto had managed to stay a couple steps ahead of them to avoid being caught and hurt.
He was tiptoeing back to his apartment, a wild grin etched on his face, when he came across his final victim. A delighted look took over the grin, as he saw the man hunched over a bridge, watching the water thoughtfully. He hated Ebisu and he knew Ebisu hated him, so what would he lose in pranking him? He would certainly gain a lot of laughs, and the pros out- weighted the cons by a long shot so... he grinned, deciding to go for it. And he knew the perfect Jutsu for the job. He hadn't used it in a long time, so it was about time to let his 'effeminate' side out for a few seconds, long enough for a lot of blood.
He nodded to himself when he had finalized the plan in his head and, jumping out from where he'd hid himself, he performed the jutsu flawlessly behind the unsuspecting sensei. One poof later a voice called out sensually to Ebisu.
"Ebisuu~!" she called. He turned and in an instant the young blond was right in his face, blowing him kisses and pressing her naked body up against his. The effect was instant, but definitely not what the boy-turned- girl was expecting. Not by a long shot. He closed his eyes immediately and placed his hands together in front of Naruto's face, performing a series of lightning fast seals. Another poof followed the jutsu and Ebisu pushed the blonde away from him, wiping his nose and keeping his eyes anywhere but on the sensuous body in front of him.
"That will show you, demon," he sniffed haughtily and turned away, like his words meant anything to him. Naruto blinked and watched the man leave, shaking his head and muttering cursed to the girl behind him. Apparently he had performed some sort of reflexive jutsu, but Naruto didn't understand what had happened. Nothing had changed and he was still standing there... with all of his limbs in the right place. He looked down to check and noticed that he had forgotten to release his jutsu. He closed his eyes and released his hold on the chakra. Opening his eyes slowly after hearing no telltale poof, he looked down again, only to find nothing had happened.
"GAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed. Or rather... SHE screamed.
***
Iruka looked to the door when the pounding started. He was already in a decidedly bad mood from the moment he'd woken up and the knocking wasn't helping any. He'd dozed off for a small nap earlier on and, not twenty minutes later, woken up to find that he'd been visited by Naruto's vengeful spirit, who'd left drawings all over the side of the chuunin's face in permanent marker. He'd been trying to scrub it off for the last two hours. He opened the door, only to faint dead, a trail of blood falling from his nose. The young blond girl at the door frowned angrily and stepped over his body, slamming the door shut and dragging the man inside.
"Baka perverted ass," she muttered, slapping his cheeks a little to wake him up again, making sure to cover herself a little more this time. When Iruka finally came around he was about to faint again, before he realized that it was the same little brat who'd coloured all over his face.
"You idiot!" he yelled. "Drop that stupid jutsu right now!" She narrowed her eyes at him.
"If I could have, I would never have walked all the way over here naked," she hissed back. Iruka blinked densely.
"Stop playing pranks for one second, Naruto!" he tried again, but the girl shook her head.
"I've tried that. It doesn't work. Believe me, I tried." The older shinobi stood up and ran to his room. The girl was about to go after him when he returned with a large black shirt and threw it over her.
"Put that on, and then explain this all to me," he growled, still not over the marks on his face. She obliged, and began telling him about the pranks and her attempt to prank the ever-so-'prankable' Ebisu.
"And then he did all of these seals and poof... I'm like this forever!!!" she cried dramatically, flinging her arms up into the air to add to the effect of her desperation. Iruka nodded, a smirk finding its way onto his face.
"I see. Ebisu has had to develop that jutsu to restrain Konohamaru from using it too often against him. It usually goes away after a short period of time, anywhere from a couple of minutes to ten. How long did it take you to get here, from the time you were sealed in that form to now?" he wondered. Naruto glanced at the clock on Iruka's wall and began panicking.
"Almost half an hour!" Iruka's eyebrows shot up. Ebisu must have been incredibly startled to have put so much chakra into that seal.
"Then your length of time just may be a little longer than the lengths Konohamaru is used to," Iruka explained. "There was one time Ebisu was so startled Konohamaru had to go through a week of school in his female form." He added, almost wincing in anticipation of Naruto's backlash. The blonde's eyes narrowed and then widened and then... closed as a stream of curses fell from her lips. So many and so vulgar were the words that Iruka winced.
"Well, it doesn't matter how long you curse, it can't be undone for now. You'll just have to wait until the seal wears off. Just be thankful it's only temporary." The young chuunin rolled her eyes, but nodded. That would be worse. "For now, you need some other clothes... I don't think you can wear my shirt for the whole time."
"What about my own clothes?" Naruto asked. Iruka chuckled.
"Unless you want to go parading it around that you've been sealed inside your own jutsu, I think you're going to need a new set of clothes." The blonde's shoulders sagged and she began pouting. Things weren't going right today. And on his birthday of all things.
"Fine," she huffed. Iruka got up and went into his room to find her a small set of pants to go with the shirt so she would be able to go out in public. When he finally came back he had found a pair of loose drawstring pants and a smaller t-shirt from when he was a little bit younger. She went into the bathroom and came out still looking small in the clothing. Iruka smiled, but didn't comment, knowing it would only infuriate the 'girl'.
"So where are we going first?" she asked him, pushing up her sleeves (that kept falling off her shoulders) looking ready to fight off an enemy.
"To see Tsunade." He grinned and dragged her outside, suddenly a little happier and slowly getting over the boy's earlier pranks.
"I thought you said we weren't going to let anyone else know my live was screwed over by that bastard!" she yelled.
"Well, she's a girl and Hokage and will know better ideas how to conceal your true identity," Iruka waved off her complaints.
***
Tsunade took one look at the girl, dressed in the baggy clothing and burst out laughing. Naruto glowered and tensed to jump at her, but Iruka's hand on her shoulder stopped her from attacking anyone in anger.
"It's not THAT funny, Tsunade-baba!" she yelled. "At least you ARE a girl in the first place. This is cruel and unusual punishment!!" She fought to contain her giggles and looked up and the steaming girl.
"Hai, I'll help Naruto-chan here." She nodded to Iruka.
"Don't you DARE call me Naruto-chan!!!" She was about to continue laughing when she caught Iruka looking at her expectantly. She shook her head and cleared her throat.
"Fine, fine, Naruto. What is it that you want to wear?" she asked. The girl shrugged her shoulders.
"Probably something that's not too revealing... after all this is... my body, but too much would totally ruin the purpose of the entire jutsu." She grinned despite herself. "I guess I also want to avoid being recognised..." Tsunade nodded and wrote a few things down on a scroll and handed it to Iruka.
"Take this to Kakashi. He may be able to help."
"WHAT!! I don't want Kakashi knowing too!" Tsunade frowned at him.
"Don't you want help with this? Or would you rather EVERYONE knows who you are as opposed to just a select few. It's not like we're telling anyone who wouldn't keep your secret." She sighed again and nodded, angry that the Hokage was right. Iruka nodded to the two young looking women and disappeared.
"So what did you write on that scroll?" Naruto asked, curiously.
"Just a couple of things to bring to help you with your style. Don't worry; I know just what to do with you," she grinned. Being on an all boys team at a young age, she didn't have much time to do girly things, and she was finally getting to play dress-up with a live doll. Naruto might have been having a bad day, but hers just got a whole lot more interesting. Naruto glanced up at the woman and sweatdropped at her expression of glee.
It had just occurred to him that coming to the Hokage with his problem might not have been such a good idea after all. He knew he was in for a wild ride. If only he hadn't gone for that last prank. No... if only Ebisu hadn't performed that stupid seal on him. If only Konohamaru hadn't overused his jutsu. NO! If only Naruto hadn't taught him it in the first place. ARGH!! Damn you, Ebisu!!!
~~~~~~~
Okay... until further notice, Naruto will be referred to as 'she', cause that's his gender now. Don't worry, I'm not going to call her 'Naruto' for long... but you'll just have to wait and see. I hope this gender thing isn't too confusing... everyone else's gender is pretty much the same. ^_^
Again, thx goes to Kotonaru who's helped me so much with this editing thing. I never could edit my own stuffs. Expect the next chapter in a week (or so, depending on how long it takes to get beta'd)...
I'm off for almost all of next week cause I don't have any exams so I should be able to catch up with my chapters... yeah, there's still tons more to go. (Someone accurately called it a saga) Who knows... it's my dream to one day write a fic or something that just about everyone reads... even if they don't review... course... I'd have to get GOOD first, ne? lol