Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaiden Saiyuki.
Chapter three:
Goku held the remote tightly in his hands. With a blank expression he rewound the scene and played it again only to repeat this action over and over again.
Confused at Goku's disturbing response to the cool video the twins had left in search of Dr. Nii.
Goku couldn't believe it.
He hadn't done this, he couldn't have done this.
The video indeed showed a press conference but also the destruction of an orphanage in favour of a fancy sports hall for a bunch of spoilt rich kids.
But not just any orphanage.
Goku's orphanage.
The first home he had ever known. The only place where he and his brother had actually shared a life. He had destroyed it.
The reporters' questions kept repeating themselves in his head.
'Goku-san, is it true that you sabotaged the orphanage's money resources to force the owner to sell?'
'Are you aware that many siblings must be separated because there aren't enough places in other orphanages near by ?'
'Did you pay groceries not to sell to this orphanage ?'
' Were you willing to let children starve to death just to prove you had the stronger will?'
' Do you realize how you've jeopardized these children's chances of a good life by worsening the conditions of their childhood?'
The cold and fierce expression on the face of 'Goku-san' said it all. A confident 'Yes' to all the above with a hidden ' I would have done more if they hadn't of given up so easily.'
In his illusion he'd killed innocent youkai who'd lost their sanity and were trying to kill him and his companions.
In real life he stole from innocent children because he felt like it.
The look in the eyes of 'Goku-san' sent a shiver down the monkey's spine.
Hakkai had once – under protest- told Goku about the actions and appearance of Seiten Taisei.
Staring into the eyes of a monster he now understood his companions' fear of this being.
But there was no diadem to restrain him. Goku was this monster with no excuses left to calm his conscious.
What else had he done in this life? Stolen charity funds because he was bored?
How many unforgivable sins were there? What had he taken from his companions?
The door opened and a familiar voice called out.
" Oy, monkey. What's got Bill and Ben the flower pot men so spooked. They miss the summer sale or something?"
Raising an eyebrow at Goku's lack of response Gojyo entered the room and sat down next to his brother.
After watching the unpleasant press conference Gojyo understood what all the commotion was about.
Sighing he took the remote from Goku's hands and turned the monkey's face towards him.
"You hate me, don't you?" Panicked, golden eyes stared at Gojyo.
" After that, you have to hate me." The pain from his dream suddenly returned to him.
The life was being sucked out of him.
"Goku, listen to me!", Gojyo said shaking Goku's shoulders lightly to snap him out of it.
" I don't hate you. It 's okay."
Goku stared at him horrified. " But…but..I…the orphanage."
Red eyes looked at him critically. "And what are you going to do about the orphanage?"
Goku blinked, confused.
Helpless tears sprung to his eyes surprising him and by the looks of it his brother, too.
Gently wiping them away Gojyo whispered softly.
"I can't remember the last time I saw you cry like this. I was convinced you'd forgotten how to."
Sighing audibly as if coming to the decision to change his handling of this situation he continued.
" It's in the past and over with. There's no point getting all worked up about it now.
You're just making yourself sick again." Eyes softening Gojyo hooked an arm around his brother's shoulders.
"You regret it, right?"
Goku nodded frantically.
" Then that's enough." A comfortable silence fell between them as Goku calmed his thoughts and emotions. "Now stop thinking about it, monkey, before your brain overloads!"
" Who are you calling monkey, you perverted water sprite!"
Gojyo laughed out loud.
"Water sprite? How very creative, squirt. Come on, let's get out of here."
After wiping his face Goku quickly followed Gojyo's already descending form asking.
"Where are we going?"
"Outside. I need a smoke.", Gojyo answered entering the lift.
Goku suppressed the urge to groan at the sight of the dreaded lift.
Watching the story numbers flash by he tried to act as if nothing was wrong.
Unfortunately our little monkey had never been a very good actor but Gojyo kindly just sent him a curious look and let it pass.
Outside the two brothers sat against a large oak tree of the hospitals small garden. While Gojyo enjoyed his nicotine Goku thought about the world around him.
Usually whenever he was outside and especially so close to nature he got this peaceful and content feeling. He felt pleased to be there and sometimes thought nature was pleased to see him.
Sanzo had said it probably had something to do with being born from a rock but was otherwise of no significance.
But now…
Now he felt nothing. He was just there and nature was just there and they had no connection whatsoever. Another sign that the life he remembered was fake. Goku still found it hard to believe but the more days that went by and the more Nii reasoned and put logic behind everything the more Goku's belief in his 'past' faded.
Speaking of past a sudden thought struck him.
" Gojyo?"
Lazily glancing at him Gojyo replied. "Yeah, monkey."
Goku frowned at the name but let it go. He wanted to ask something important not argue, again.
"What do you do?" Seeing Gojyo's confused look he continued. "I mean what's your job?
You're not a stripper are you?"
"Now there's a thought." Disgusted Goku stuck his tongue out.
Grinning Gojyo threw a badge at him.
" Police officer." Goku examined the badge. He'd never seen a police man's badge before.
" Chicks dig the uniform and I get to beat up bad guys all day long."
That sounded more or less what Gojyo did in his illusion. Kill youkai and flirt with girls.
"Oy! My turn." , Gojyo said gaining Goku's full attention. "Why haven't you asked for a smoke, yet? We've been out here for fifteen minutes, usually it doesn't take you fifteen seconds before bugging me."
Smoke? He didn't smoke. The smell of the cancer sticks was disgusting and the smoke always burnt in his eyes.
"Now Gojyo if Goku has decided to give up then you should be encouraging him."
"Hakkai!", Goku exclaimed happily forgetting about yelling at Gojyo for saying something so absurd.
Hakkai stood before them holding a white dog with red eyes on a leash.
"Since you mentioned him the other day, Goku, I thought I'd bring him round."
After freeing Jeep from his led Hakkai sat down Indian style in front of them and started a light conversation with Gojyo.
Stuff like 'How was work' and blah. Staring at the Albino dog who had trotted over to him Goku tuned them out.
Seeing Jeep as a dog kind of took away even his last glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe 'this' wasn't reality.
Petting the dog Goku was glad to have something to comfort him a little.
After some persuasive ear rubbing Jeep now lay stomach upwards with his head in Goku's lap receiving a masterful stomach rub.
Goku felt lost at sea. Nothing here felt familiar.
He wasn't sure he could ever find his old place in this world or even if he wanted to after seeing what he was capable of.
What would he do without the journey west?
More importantly how would he live without his companions around him all the time?
He wasn't sure how to live without Sanzo telling him what to do and guiding him as his beloved sun through the worst of darkness.
Hearing his name being said Goku listened in to Hakkai's and Gojyo' conversation again.
The two had noticed his lack of attention and taken a more serious topic.
" I've never seen him this comfortable with Jeep before." , Hakkai said.
" There's a lot of stuff I've never seen him do before.", Gojyo replied.
" He's acting just like when he was six or so but there's somehow more to it. "
" I hope the doctor knows how we can help him.", Hakkai said anxiously.
Gojyo snorted. "Help him? You can count me out of that I actually preferred him when he was six."
Hakkai frowned at Gojyo's response and Goku caught himself frowning too but more out of worry then disagreement.
Sitting by the windowsill in his hospital room Goku stared up at the night sky hoping to make out at least one shining star.
The lights of the city were too bright for him to see anything but darkness.
" I wasn't quite expecting this reaction from you but considering everything maybe it is a justified one.", Sanzo said softly entering the room and standing in front of the window opposite Goku.
" You should be happy about going home tomorrow." The blond didn't look at him but stared into the night sky.
" It's not my home. I didn't recognize Izumi at all when Nii showed me his photo in the newspaper. Can't I stay with you?"
The photo had been so alien to Goku that he couldn't recall what Izumi's features were like no matter how hard he tried.
" And why, monkey, do you want to stay with me?"
Sanzo asked glaring challenge ling at the boy.
Goku knew that glare. It was an ' You've said something I find stupid and I'll hit you for a weird response' glare.
He took his usual path. " I don't know why." The honest path. "I like being with you."
Goku saw an important emotion flicker in the ex-monks' usually cold eyes before they hardened again.
He had sometimes seen that emotion in his illusion but had never been able to put his finger on it.
" Stupid monkey! You'll be fine. Nii said you'd be remembering stuff soon and then everything will be back to normal."
Goku shuddered at that. What was normal?
If normal meant being like the Goku he saw on video did he really want that to happen. Guilt washed over the lost teenager again.
" Sanzo, I'm sorry.", he said quietly, fearing the power of the almighty fan.
Sighing angrily Sanzo asked. " What are you apologizing for?"
Goku didn't answer for a long time not sure how to explain his guilt.
" For the stuff I did and said to you before my coma. I still can't remember but I just feel so much guilt…", he trailed off uncertainly.
A comforting hand nestled itself in Goku's wild hair.
" You really are a stupid monkey. I'll tell you when I want an apology from you, got it?"
Goku nodded weakly afraid the movement would drive Sanzo's hand away.
A moment later Sanzo did take his hand away and pulled a piece of paper from one of his Jean's pockets.
Handing it to Goku he said:
" In case the old man demands too much from you . But don't start calling after the first five minutes. You're supposed to at least try."
The piece of paper had Sanzo's telephone number and a description to his church on it.
" Thanks Sanzo.", Goku said smiling slightly.
Sanzo grunted his acknowledgement.
He then pulled a chair out and sat down heavily on it.
" Damnit, Goku what else do I have to do to get that glum look of your face!", Sanzo said angrily.
Goku stared at him questioningly.
What did he mean?
Sanzo had done more than enough already.
"Fine!", Sanzo growled as if Goku had made a request he was reluctant to fulfil.
His wrist being grabbed Goku was jerked forwards and found himself on his keeper's lap.
Strong arms wrapped around him and Goku desperately tried to hide his blush in Sanzo's shoulder.
" The things I do for you.", Sanzo muttered.
Goku was unable to respond.
The loud exclamation of 'Holy Shit!' still echoed in his mind.
Had Nii been right? Was their relationship of a sexual kind?
Feeling his face heat up even more at the frighteningly pleasant thought Goku held on tighter to his sun and wondered what he had got himself into again.
The building Goku stood in front of was huge, really huge. Hundreds of people could live in this place but Goku had been told his family only consisted of his father and himself.
Gojyo had driven him here and only just left.
Leaving Goku with his phone number and the explanation that he wasn't welcome any further into the estate.
" Master Goku, it is so pleasant to have you with us again.", a female voice to his right said.
Goku was surprised to stare into the familiar set of eyes.
"Yaone?"
The young woman smiled at him.
" I am pleased you remember me, master. This way, master, your father is awaiting you."
Silently he followed her inside staring at all the artefacts, mirrors, and paintings in the hallways.
When they came to the staircase the monkey stopped in complete awe. The stairs were made of black marble and widened up on the ground floor.
The ceiling opened up into a dome with a magnificent painting with gods and angels that made you think that the endless sky was above you.
"Master Goku.", Yaone called politely from the stairs. " Your father is waiting."
After he had caught up with her Yaone continued. " If you like I can give you a tour of the mansion later."
" Huh? Oh, yeah that'd be great, thanks.", Goku stuttered still too entranced by the building.
" Say, do you happen to have a map of this place?"
Yaone laughed. "Oh, master Goku, I have missed your sense of humour."
Goku sweatdropped. He'd meant the map seriously.
They finally came to a halt in front of two big wooden doors.
Yaone knocked loudly and an unfamiliar voice from within called to them to enter.
Goku was very nervous. He'd never had a father before.
What was he supposed to say?
The man sitting behind the desk got up and walked towards him. Yaone left the room without a word closing the big doors gently behind her.
Izumi had white hair and piercing light green eyes. He didn't look very old and he didn't give Goku the impression of a businessman.
There was something dangerous glowing in his eyes but Goku couldn't define it and he couldn't shake the feeling off of having once seen this guy before.
He was pretty sure it wasn't in a very nice situation either but he just couldn't remember.
"My boy, I'm glad you're with us again. If there is anything you need, do ask Yaone and your wish will be her command.", Izumi said.
His voice sounded strained as if he were in some kind of pain. "Did you have a pleasant trip?"
Trip? It had hardly taken Gojyo fifteen minutes to drive here. Not much of a trip in Goku's opinion.
"Yeah, it was fine." He didn't know how to address him.
'Yeah, Dad.', sounded stupid and calling him 'Izumi-san' might have offended him.
Was this the best conversation they could do?
He'd been in a goddamn coma for six months and the first his 'father' wanted to know was how his trip was!
" I have an important meeting but we must have another talk soon."
Goku nodded not wanting to respond verbally.
If this guy wasn't putting any effort into this why should he.
"Yaone!",
the summoned girl entered the room immediately and bowed before her master.
"Has the tutor arrived?"
Yaone answered affirmatively and was then told to take Goku to the study room.
Exhausted Goku fell on his bed without giving his 'bedroom' containing all his precious belongings a second glance.
Hakkai had been brutal with his lecture. He'd forcefully stuffed algebra and Greek Mythology into Goku's head all afternoon and had been very angry with Goku for not being able to remember all of it.
Well, he hardly remembered any of it.
Sanzo had taught him how to read and write years ago.
It had been difficult for both of them but Goku could do it. Just about.
Then Hakkai had taken over as a teacher but they'd kept things simple like adding not algebra.
It seemed that in reality Sanzo and Gojyo were both more patient with the 'stupid monkey' than Hakkai was.
Great, he'd hardly been here a week and already the most patient of his companions was mad at him.
Frustrated he slammed his fist against his bed's headboard only to have something hard land on his head.
Rubbing his aching head Goku examined the object.
"What the? I have a diary?…………..AAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH"
How embarrassing!
Girls had diaries or at least that's what Gojyo always said.
Not even all girls but boring girls.
What did that make him? Groan
He'd never live this done if the others found out.
Logic and reason of course soon kicked in on Goku's rant reminding him that a diary in his situation was more of a blessing than a source of embarrassment.
Being too tired to fill his mind with more information Goku put the diary on the nightstand and fell asleep.
He couldn't move. Opening his eyes all he could see was green liquid and air bubbles that were being produced by his thrashing about.
Pushing himself forwards he slammed against the glass tube. Fists hammering against it he still couldn't get out.
Trapped and alone in this bizarre scene.
A drilling sound brought his attention to the top of the glass tube.
A metallic circle with several drills and wires attached to them came down to encircle his head just above his diadem.
Still fighting against his bounds Goku saw a man step into the light, his hand hovering above a button.
Squinting his eyes Goku could make out a flash of white hair framing this man's head.
Then the button was pushed and the drills started their horrible work.
He screamed.
Screamed as his skull was being split.
Screamed as the green liquid turned red.
Screamed as electricity was sent through his brain.
Screamed as the pain became so unbearable he couldn't take it.
Panting heavily Goku sat upright in his bed clutching his chest tightly.
His heart was beating frantically.
What in the name of whatever power was up there was that?
On shaky legs he got out of bed and went to the bathroom on this floor of the house.
After washing his face he knelt on the bathroom floor with his forehead pressed against the cold porcelain sink, still slightly out of breath.
What WAS that?
Nii had told him to ignore his dreams.
Yeah, right how the hell was he supposed to ignore that?
Great, now he'd never get a good night's sleep again.
Calm again Goku went back to his room and sat on his bed.
Head in his hands he tried to think about anything but his disturbing dream.
The little monkey wished the others were here now. The 'old' others.
Okay so Gojyo and Sanzo could be real jerks but they were still there for him and Hakkai could have explained this dream to him or helped him somehow.
He didn't think the Hakkai in this world would care much about his dream; too concerned about the lectures and cramming as much useless information into Goku's head as possible.
Sighing loudly Goku noticed his diary lying on the floor.
He must of knocked it down in his sleep.
Maybe he'd had such dreams before.
Maybe he'd worked out what they were about and how to handle them.
Hoping to find salvation between the pages of this book Goku hurriedly opened it on the last entry.
The name that sprang at him shocked Goku no endlessly.
KOUGAIJI?
Why was Kougaiji in his diary?
TBC
Right kids the keyword here is '?'.-Joke
So another chapter. Cheer!
I put some 39 Fluff in. I hope it worked, a little. I've never written fluff before it may be a bit stiff. Oh well.
The nightmares thicken and yes they do have a significant meaning.
Stay tuned while the mystery starts to unravel.
Oh yeah and many, many, many thanks to all reviewers of this story.
Thank you.
Bye-Bye