Mae-Alright. To some who have already read this fic. It is because that was on my other account "Yugi-obsessed". This is my new account that I share with my good buddy Kuro… this is where we place fics that we write together, and at the moment this fic has become a joint job between the two of us.
Summary: One day, while coming home from the grocery store, Kakashi knocks over a lawn gnome. It gets mad and it and its buddies start to attack the lovely -cough cough- civilians of Konoha. Many random events are also included throughout the story.
Warnings: May contain certain inappropriate language at times, violence, and randomly placed sound effects, words, situations and other things. Reader discretion is advised.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the creation of lawn gnome, nor do I own the sun. My teacher Mr. Campbell owns the grocery store part. I do not own ninja pebbles, Link and Luigi do.
All right! On with the fic. Please enjoy responsibly.
ooOOoo
It was a lovely day in Konoha. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping. A great day for skipping work, and taking the day off to enjoy yourself. But unfortunately, ninjas can't take the day off. No sir-ee! They have missions to fulfill, tasks to complete, and training to be done!
"WHERE IS HE GODDAMNIT!"
What's this? Someone is disturbing the peacefulness of the day! Lets go see what can possibly be so disturbing, that someone must shout like that shall we?
OoOOoo
Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were standing on the Konoha bridge. This is their regular meeting spot where they discuss what they are to do for the day. Their instructor, Kakashi, was no where in sight.
"NARUTO!" Screamed an angry, scary looking Sakura. "You had absolutely no reason what so ever to yell that loud!"
Naruto winced. "I'm sorry Sakura, it's just that we always get up so early to meet here with Kakashi. But he is never here until like freaking 2 hours later!"
"You think I'm not annoyed by that! Urg, you are such an idiot."
Sasuke, was leaning against the Bridge's railing trying to tune out the other two's yelling. He was very deep in thought.
"Sasuke! Sasuke! Hey Sasuke! Aren't you mad at Kakashi too!" Naruto yelled into his ear.
THWONK! Sakura thwacked Naruto on the head. "Leave Sasuke-kun alone! He is probably thinking of very important things! Like battle strategies! That's why he always beats you ya' know." Sakura crossed her arms and nodded her head intelligently while saying this. "He uses his time so wisely! He's so cool!" Sakura's eyes became glazed as thoughts of Sasuke flopped into her mind. We should probably leave her be now, she wont come back to earth for awhile.
Sasuke on the other hand flinched a little from the loudness of them both, and turned his back to them. 'I wonder how long I can ignore them for. Hmm... 1 dead Itachi, 2 dead Itachi's, 3 Dead Itachi's, 4 dead Itachi's, 5 dead Itachi's...'
POOF! Kakashi landed on the bridge's railing, opposite of where Sasuke was leaning. "Yo. I'm sorry I'm late, you see... There was this Pirate who couldn't read his map.. and I helped him find the treasure." He waited his daily yelling's... He continued to wait... and wait... and wait...
He opened his one eye to see if his pupils were even there. Yes, they were indeed there... yet... Naruto lay unconscious on the ground by Sakura's feet. Sakura was still off in her Sasuke-filled dreams... and Sasuke... well... I'll let you see for yourself.
'I wonder how many bowls of ninja pebbles I could eat... before I need to buy another box... I like ninja pebbles, so it would be a big bowl... and I would have a few every morning... so not very long... Then I would have to go buy more from the store.'
"Sasuke?" Kakashi asked his only student that he thought would actually listen... but Sasuke didn't acknowledge the teacher. He was still... well...
'I would go to the store, find my pebbles in aisle 5, get in the express line, and then pay the cashier for my box of ninja pebbles. Wait, I don't like that cashier much... So I probably wouldn't eat my cereal too quickly... I'll have to spread it out over a longer time period...'
Poor Kakashi. No one is paying attention to him. "Erm, I am here to tell you that the mission for today was to cut the grass in Konoha. I'm going to go... Uh, do... Stuff now." He stared at the three who were oblivious to his existence at the moment. "Well, I came, I told, and... yeah... Bye!" He disappeared with another cool POOF!
'Hmm, I could kill the cashier... I wonder if I could assign myself that mission.' thought Sasuke.
Naruto jumped up. "YOU'RE LATE!" He screamed, pointing an accusing finger at nothing. Naruto looked around for a bit, to his right, to his left, up, down and all around. He looked under the bridge, he checked over a tree, and even behind Sasuke. He walked over to where he stood when he yelled and thought a bit. "I swear I thought he was here... KAKASHI HAS BEEN UBDUCTED BY... ALIENS! I MUST SAVE HIM!" Naruto ran off into the sunset... despite the fact it was still morning. Ha ha, silly Naruto.
The yelling brought Sasuke out of his thoughts. He watched Naruto run off like a maniac, which cause him to question Naruto's sanity, and wonder if he had missed Kakashi. Oh well. He saw no point in staying where he was. He had his own business to take care of, and since he didn't actually hear Kakashi give the mission, he didn't have to do it. Right? He didn't have time for these IQ lowering idiots he was forced to work with everyday, so he walked off in the direction of the supermarket.
Sakura continued to stand very still, hands clasped together, eyes shining like pools of... liquid, and Sasuke very abundant in her mind.
ooOOoo
Kakashi was in the grocery store, picking out the many things he needed for essential everyday nutrients. His cart was half full, or perhaps half empty, at the moment. His one exposed eye was curved up in its usually happy way, and he had one hand on the cart handle. The other hand busy grabbing many a boxes and bags off of the shelves as he skipped happily down the aisle, and then dumping them into the shopping cart.
He sang as he skipped along. "Got ma carrots, and ma chocolate, and ma crackers-" This got him very many weird looks from all the females in the store.
After collecting all the items he wished to buy that lovely day, our funny Kaka-sensei got into the line to pay.
"Have you found everything you were looking to purchase for today?"
Kakashi didn't answer. He was busily glaring with his one exposed eye, at the poor unknowing cashier. Silence filled the store as the Jounin glared, glared like a hungry monkey in a tree of push pop candies. Suddenly, Kakashi pushed his arm over the counter, grabbing the front of the man's shirt. No words were exchanged between the two as the ninja pulled the cashier over the counter and slamming him onto the floor.
All of the old folks in the store gathered around the two, putting their arms up, cheering for Kakashi.
"Yeah!"
"Beat him good!"
"They'rrrre Grrrrreat!"
"Slam his head!"
Kakashi picked the man up and put laid him across his shoulders. He twisted around and slammed him back onto the ground. The cashier still hadn't said anything; he just lay limp thinking, 'Masked—Ninja…Crazy!' Kakashi was just as silent as he body slammed the poor beaten man.
The spectators roared with a loud cheer, excited from the nifty looking move.
"KA-KA-SHI! KA-KA-SHI!" They roared.
Cashier now semi-unconscious, Kakashi towered over him (still glaring). "Have you found all of what you were looking for?" He brushed himself off, straightened his no-existent tie, grabbed his groceries and walked out of the store, high-fiving the old people on the way out.
As Kakashi was getting ready to poof home, he saw Sasuke heading toward the grocery store, kunai in his hand. Hmm, what could his student possibly be doing? Oh well, time to get home. POOF!
ooOOoo
POOF! A cloud of white smoke appeared out of nowhere.
If you were standing near the white picket fence a few feet away from the poof of random white smoke, you would probably be very weirded out, and possibly disturbed. You might also get second hand smoke. But this was a ninja village, and people here would be quite used to it by now… and there are many white picketed fences that you could be standing by, so you might not be standing at this particular fence at this particular time. And, the only person that was even in the area, standing by this particular white picketed fence at this particular time, was… LEE! Lee is a ninja you say? Why yes I know that. He wouldn't have been weirded out by the poof because he's a ninja? I went on a rant that wasn't even needed? … Yes so anyways, Lee was standing by the fence; well… he was actually doing jumping jacks. Get back to the story? Okay.
Lee looked over at the poof of white smoke and ran over to it happily. "GAI-SENSEI!" he shouted hopefully.
The smoke cleared and all that was there was a puppy. The puppy looked up at Lee with a weird look and walked over to an apartment door. It took the key from under the mat, unlocked the door, and walked in.
"Aww… guess it wasn't…" he shrugged it off and went back to doing jumping jacks.
Again, very randomly, another white poof of smoke appeared. Lee was certain it had to be Gai-sensei! He ran back over and started to jump up and down clapping his hands happily. "GAI-SENSEI!"
Again the puff of smoke cleared. "Eh?" questioned a confused Kakashi. "Sorry kid, Gai isn't here right now, please leave a message after I finish telling you this and I will make up an excuse for why I did not give it to him."
Lee hung his head sadly and walked away, down the street into the sunset… Seriously! It's still morning… that is one magical sun.
Kakashi simply shrugged and walked across his lawn, only to trip over some random object. He sat up rubbing the back of his head trying to ease the pain. He didn't hit his head, but that's okay. What tripped him? He looked over beside his feet, only to see a ceramic lawn gnome. It was laying on its side now and its little rake had been knocked out of its hand. Aw, poor rake.
Who would put a lawn gnome on a lawn? Kakashi collected up his spilled groceries and continued to his house.
The fallen lawn gnome's eyes glowed a bright yellow eventually fading to reveal its eyes again. The painted on eyebrows angled down to form a glare.
ooOOoo
Wow. I really enjoyed writing that! It was fun. I hoped you liked it as well!
I had originally written this 'attack of the lawn gnomes' about a year ago. It was using the Yugioh characters though. It was deleted unfortunately, and I still don't understand why… ah well. I rewrote it because I was bugging Kuro, and she told me to write it again… so I did! Yep… that is the story behind why I wrote it… where I got the idea from? That's another story.