Titanic watchmen
Author notes: I don't own Titanic and nor would I want to. This just popped into my mind while I was chatting with a friend of mine bowling last Saturday. Enjoy!
The two watchmen on the Titanic are at their post watching out for you know, icebergs stuff like that.
Bill is looking through a scope at the ocean.
Bob: Do you see anything?
A frustrated Bill puts the scope down.
Bill: Bob… it's an ocean all there is, is water. All there ever will be is water and when you ask me in five minuets what I see I will reply water.
Bob: Well what colour is the water?
Bill: Sarcastically it's pink! What the heck do you think it is? Use your brain Bob.
Bob: Sorry but it's boring up here.
Bill: No kidding.
Bob: So what do you want to do?
Bill: Thinking I don't know. Let's play poker.
Bob: Alright.
Two hours later.
Bill: Well that was boring.
Bob: No kidding.
Bill: I'm hungry.
Bob: You're always hungry. What food do we have left in the cooler?
Bill: Checks cooler we have three egg sandwiches, a pizza, a case of beer and a bunch of soda.
Bob: toss me a soda will you?
Bill tosses Bob a soda and Bill grabs a beer.
Bill: This job is boring.
Bob: Yeah, there's nothing out here.
Bill: But it's important, like the captain said. We're the 'eyes of the ship'.
Bob: He just told you that so you'd stay out of his hair.
Bill: No! The captain wouldn't do that!
Bob: Rolls eyes. Yes he would.
Bill: No he wouldn't!
Bob: Yes he would!
Bill: No he wouldn't!
Bob: Yes he would!
Bill: No he wouldn't!
Bob: Yes he would!
Three hours later.
Bill: No he wouldn't!
Bob: No he wouldn't!
Bill: Yes he would!
Bob: Ha! Got you!
Bill: Damn.
Bob: I'm bored.
Bill: Me to.
Bob uses scope thingy to check out the people on the ship.
Bob: Hey look at that brown haired chick.
Bill looks.
Bill: Hey she's a hottie. Though she's not my dream girl.
Bob: What's your dream girl then?
Bill: Five foot four, blond hair, green eyes, olive skin…
Bob: I see.
Bill: What about you?
Bob: Five foot six, black hair, brown eyes, tan skin.
Bill: Nice.
Bob: Ugh I'm bored.
Bill: I'm hungry.
Bob rolls his eyes.
Bob: You're always hungry.
Bill: Didn't we have this conversation earlier?
Bob: Yes, yes we did.
Bill: I see.
Bob: I'm hungry now to.
Bill: See! It's not just me.
Bob: Shut up.
Bill: So what do you want to do now?
Bob: Play poker?
Bill: Let's tell jokes!
Bob: Fine whatever.
Bill: Or we could have book discussions.
Bob: Oh wow you've never read a book in your life. How could we have book discussions?
Bill: I did to read a book!
Bob: What? The ABC book?
Bill: No! I read this book about a Phantom.
Bob: Was it a comic book?
Bill: No! It took place in this opera house in Paris.
Bob: Lovely.
Bill: No it was really good. This Phantom guy kidnapped this opera singing chick.
Bob: That sounds retarded.
Bill: It was really awesome. You should read it.
Bob: I don't want to read it.
Bill: It's good though!
Bob: Listen, let's not fight. We have to be up here the whole time and I don't want tension.
Bill: You're right.
Bob: Good.
Bill: You should read it though.
Bob: Don't start!
Bill: Fine. What's your favourite book?
Bob: Julius Caesar By Shakespeare
Bill: Do you have it with you?
Bob: Of course, I carry it with me where ever I go.
Bill: Well I have the book I read with me to. You want to trade books and read?
Bob: Fine.
They trade books and begin to read.
Five hours later.
Bob: Teary eyed. Poor Phantom.
Bill: Teary eyed. Poor Caesar.
Bob: This book is good.
Bill: Same with this one.
Two days later.
Bob: Well that was really good and it made the time go by.
Bill: Yup. So now what?
Bob shrugs.
Bill: I'm hungry.
Bob: SHUT UP!
Bill: Ok, ok.
Bob: I'm bored.
Bill: Me to.
Bob: I wonder what's going on, on the ship.
Bill: I don't know. Nobody tells us anything anymore.
Bob: Nobody tells us anything ever!
Bill: This is true.
Bob: Hey you want to play I spy?
Bill: Sure. You go first.
Bob: Ok, I spy with my little eye something big and white.
Bill: Is it our ship?
Bob: Nope!
Bill: Hmm… is it the crow's nest we're in?
Bob: Nope!
Bill: Is it that woman down there in the white dress?
Bob: Good one, but nope!
Bill: Drat. Is it my hat?
Bob: Your hat isn't big!
Bill: Well sorry. Is it the fluffy clouds?
Bob: There are no clouds in the sky plus its dark out!
Bill: Well sorry. Hmm… I give up. What is it?
Bob: It's that big chuck of ice in the water.
Bill: Oh right. That's a good one Bob!
Bob: Thanks!
Bill: Ok my turn. I spy with my little eye something re- wait... is that an iceberg?