Disclamer: I do not own anyone but Saphimire Eas.

Please enjoy, but be warned, some may think that this story is a little disturbing. It is also my first fic...

Disturbing Thoughts

Chapter 1

Sixteen years ago, a girl was born into a wizarding family. Her mother, who loved her daughter dearly, died soon after giving birth. The girl was rosy and blissful, as carefree as any newly-born. Her father, however, had loved his wife very much and felt that it was his daughter's fault that his wife had died. To punish his daughter, he made love to her, as soon as she was old enough. Before that age, however, he was an attentive and seemingly caring father. But inside the father was a great ball of hatred.

Luckily for the girl, she did not know that her father hared her. She also did not know that the gather only wanted to make his daughter entirely under his control. When she was four, he dubbed her old enough to make love to. Ever since that first day of sex, the father never let her wear clothes in the house (so he could touch her and make love to her at any time of the day). The only reason he bought her clothes was that she needed to go to school.

However, though it may seem that school may have been a sanctuary for the young girl, it was not. Thought the first few years went by without incident, when she was 8, one of her male teachers raped her and told her that she should expect more from him. (When the father heard about this, he was pleased.) The girl was used to somebody entering her now, for her father entered her almost everyday. After that one teacher raped her, it seemed that every male teacher raped her the next day (the first teacher told the others). This was sad because all of her teachers were male.

During that year, this unfortunate girl's breasts started to develop prematurely. The girl suspected that her father was tinkering with her body, to give him more pleasure. But she didn't approach him on the subject. Though what he did to her was barbarious, she still loved him. However, the premature growing of her breasts caught more that just her attention. The teacher that she was currently sharing a bed with noticed it too and her grades moved even higher.

There were also downsides (if you could call the other effects good) from her father's tinkering with her body. The boys in her class were now paying her more attention. She did not like this but was helpless to stop it as they were all stronger than she was. Soon she had made love to over half the boys in her class and she had to continue it.

Her father died when his daughter was 9. She was then sent to an orphanage where the teachers were again, all male. (She thought that her father arranged that she was always to go to a school where the teachers were all male.) In that school for the orphans, the same thing happened again, but this time with more ferocity of the male partner. It also happened faster. Before the end of the week, she had been forced to promise her body to over half of the class.

By this time her womanly curves were now showing and her body had become slim, beautiful, and agile. Her favorite hobbies were sports and curling up catlike on a couch with a good book. Her body showed the effect of the exercise of her hobbies. Her body also knew how to create the most pleasure form a partner in sex. It was for that reason that she hated her beautiful, model body, because she know that her father had tinkered with it, to give him (non-existent) future pleasure.

Many times she had considered suicide or harming her body to get rid of the perfect curves. But every time her resolve would wither away. She had so much to do and her life depended on her body to survive. Her father had no fortune and her other's fortune was in England (she lived in Bermuda). So, to survive through the summer holidays, she sold her body.

This must sound very confusing so I will give you more facts. Our girl was accepted into Bermuda's school of magic. She became a prostitute to be able to buy her wand and robes. She soon became immersed in magic. However, as in ever school she has been to, things began to happen. The male professors told her that they would like her to warm up their beds for them, none too gently or politely. Male classmates invited her to their beds, forcefully. Because she wanted to be a good student and have a good 'out-ward' reputation, she consented. One of the most important reasons was because she would be killed if she didn't consent.

She signed up for Quidditch as son as she was old enough. Her father had always let her play Quidditch; he even bought her a Nimbus Two-Thousand in his will. She loved Quidditch (another hobby is singing). She had been practicing as a Keeper, Chaser or Seeker as she was too slight to be a Beater. The school team wanted her to be a Seeker. Only Quidditch made her feel like she was alive, like she had something to live for.

As soon as she was old enough, she applied for Immigration to England. She was accepted at the end of her 5th year. Though the male teachers all gave her food grades, she had earned them. In the practical exams of OWLS, she had been the best of her class and was able to do everything that the examiner asked. When her exam marks had come, she had gotten 14 OWLS out of 17 possible OWLS.

She sent a letter to the Headmaster of Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry asking to be placed into the 6th year of the school. Then she started to save from all of her bedtime works to be able to buy a ticket to England. Soon her snowy owl, Haom, a male owl, came back with a letter from Hogwarts saying that the Headmaster would be delighted if she could attend his school. He would discuss with her late Headmaster about her grades and which house they should put her in. Seeing that her late Headmaster was one of those that had shared a bed with her, she expected a good report.

When she got a letter that it was official that she was attending Hogwarts and that she would be in Gryffindor, she bought her ticket to England and left her past behind.