Chapter 7
Hogwarts High
One of the greatest myths in the world- and phrase "greatest myths" is just a fancy way of saying "big fat lies"- is that troublesome things get less and less troublesome if you do them more and more. People say this myth when they are teaching children to ride bicycles, for instance, as though falling off a bicycle and skinning your knees is less troublesome the fourteenth time you do it more than the first time. The truth is that troublesome things tend to remain troublesome no matter how many times you do them, and that you should avoid doing them unless they are absolutely urgent. Obviously, it was absolutely urgent for the Baudelaire orphans to get to Uncle Voldys office without being seen by none other than Count Olaf.
"Now Sunny, you know the plan, when we dash off to Uncle Voldy's office, you are too keep Olaf away from his office by all means possible." said Violet
"Means?" asked Sunny
"It means to keep Olaf away from Uncle Voldys office by doing everything you can in your power to stop him." replied Violet
"Ok!" shrieked Sunny
And Sunny crawled off into the halls of darkness.
"Are you ready Klaus?" asked Violet
"Ready as I'll ever be." replied Klaus as if he were going to save the world
And the two set off to Uncle Voldy's office.
"My Lord!" screeched Wormtail "What ever are you going to poison Harry with?"
"Wormtail, bring me the Vile For Death." exclaimed Voldemort
Wormtail walked over to Voldemort's cupboard and scanned its contents. Finally, he pulled out a bright red bottle with the initials V.F.D.
"Perfect, this poison is one of the deathliest poisons around. Infact, it is illegal to even be sold or manufactured anywhere. Luckly I have the recipe for it and one of the collector's bottles they used before they stopped making this stuff." said Voldemort
"Yes yes, that's all very interesting but is it strong? Will it be strong enough to kill Harry?" asked Wormtail
"Even the smallest ounce of this stuff can kill 3 people alone." replied Voldemort
But just then there was a knock on the out side of his office door.
"Uncle Voldy! It's us! May we come in?" asked a very anxious Violet
"Just a sec!" called Voldemort in his most sweet voice
Instantly he pulled out his wand and started to make his so called office in to a muggle office. Finally the last thing he had to worry about was Wormtail.
"Get out of here before they see you!" exclaimed Voldemort
"But how?" asked Wormtail
"Slaps face My god you are so stupid! The last time I checked you were a wizard! Now if you do not apparate out of here before I lose my temper I just might cut off all of your fingers!" yelled Voldemort
"Yes my Lord." whimpered Wormtail
And with a loud crack, he disappeared from Voldemorts sight.
"Come in children." said a very sweet Uncle Voldy
Violet literally tore open the door and closed it shut with her brother behind her. Out of breath Violet began to tell Uncle Voldy of their brilliant plan.
"…and so, when we enter the school, we will pretend to be new student from a nearby school. But what we need to do is to make sure that Harry is our school guide and shows us around the grounds and stuff like that. Then, come time lunch, we will have to sit with him because well we are the new students!" exclaimed Violet
"Then when he least expects it, we slip the helium into his drink or food, and he will have a squeaky voice for the rest of the day!" added Klaus
Voldemort tried to act surprise, but it was hard considering that he already knew what their plan was simply by reading their minds.
"That is a very excellent plan you guys came up with!" said a very excited Voldemort
"We shall do this tomorrow! I am still on suspension for my last act with Harry but I can pull a few string and get you guys in their."
"Really? And what about Sunny? How is she going to get in to the school with out people being suspicious about her? asked Violet
"Just tell them that your parents are out of town and that no one else can look after your baby sister but you." replied Voldemort
"Yes that's a good idea but helium is a gas…how are we going to get it into a liquid?" asked Klaus
"I am the chemistry teacher! I always keep spare helium- liquid and gas- in my cupboard." exclaimed Voldemort
Voldemort got up, walked to his cupboard, pretended to scan for something, and turned around with a bright red vile in his hands.
"Behold! Liquid helium! But, I will keep this into my office until tomorrow but first I must give you the school uniforms to wear tomorrow." said Voldemort
Voldemort tossed them black robes and ties. All of which-except for the black robes- were scarlet and gold with a lion imbedded on the robes.
"Is the lion the school mascot?" asked Violet
"Well there are four, depending on what house you are in, but since Harry is in Gryffindor you too will be in Gryffindor." replied Voldemort
"Is there anything else we should know about the school?" asked Klaus
"I think you two should sit down." said Voldemort
And for the rest of the evening, Voldemort explained to them the ups and downs of Hogwarts High.
The next day was an interesting day to the point where you need more than words to possibly describe this event. After eating another home cooked meal by Voldemort, the three Bauldelaires headed upstairs to go and put on their uniforms. It didn't take long for the three Baudelaires and as Violet was eyeing her self in the mirror she had a lot of comments to make about the uniforms.
"I don't know if it's me, but these robes are way too big and heavy…unless that's how the dress code is." said Violet as she was tying her red and gold tie.
"This is pretty strange, but we must blend in with the students otherwise our plan will fail." said Klaus
"Susika!" said Sunny which meant along the lines of "Well at least I don't have to dress up in a uniform."
"But remember Sunny, you cannot say a word or mention Uncle Voldys name." added Violet
"Ok." replied Sunny
"Well, lets not just stand here all day and look at ourselves in these ridiculous uniforms, lets go down and pull one of the greatest pranks ever!" exclaimed Klaus
And with that said they headed down stairs to the front hall.
"How are we going to get there?" asked Klaus
"Oh well, the school isn't too far from hear so we will be walking, but don't worry! It's only a miles walk." exclaimed Voldemort
"Well a little fresh air will not hurt anybody, let's get walking!" said Violet
And they all headed off into the forest, about three fourths of the way, Voldemort stopped them.
"Hold on there a moment children I need to see if there are any wild animals ahead of us." exclaimed Voldemort
"Ok." replied Violet
Voldemort dashed off behind a tree pretending to be far away. He took out his wand, pointed it at the Baudelaires and muttered a spell under his breath.
"Eguriazgrgiron." muttered Voldemort
A soft purple beam shot out at the end of his wand and disappeared. His spell worked.
"Sorry for the long wait." said Voldemort as he was jogging his way back to the confused Baudelaires. "But I could have sworn I saw a mountain lion…you can never be too sure until you know."
"That's true." added Violet
For about another 5 minutes they were walking deep into the dark forest. And then there was light.
"Children, welcome to Hogwarts." said Voldemort as he pulled back one of the branches from the tree.
Now, there are many ways for me to describe the Baudelaires reactions. First of all they were very happy that they didn't have to walk anymore, second they were mesmerized by the beauty and elegance of the school, and thirdly they have never seen a school so big that they need an entire castle to fit all of their students in. But, there is only one sentence I am going to use to describe what they saw in front of them.
The Baudelaires could not believe there eyes.
"This is Hogwarts High?" asked Violet
"Are you sure this is the right place?" asked Klaus
"Castle?" asked Sunny
"Yes, a very big surprise. And to answer all of your questions, yes this really is Hogwarts. Now let's get down to business. Violet, I am going to leave you in charge of the Helium. There is only enough Helium in that vile for Harry's voice to be squeaky for the rest of the day so when you poor it in his drink, poor the whole thing." said Voldemort as he handed the vile to Violet
"Now the front gates" continued Voldemort "Are right there, see where I am pointing? Good, now you know the rest of the plan and are there anymore questions?"
(chirp chirp)
"Alright then, I wish you the best of luck. Meet me back here at the end of the day."
And with that said the Baudelaires headed down to the front gates of Hogwarts with the Vile For Death.
"Harry Potter, your time has ended." cackled Voldemort in his evil voice