A/N- Thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews! This got a much better response than I expecting. Sorry for the delay for this chapter. Enjoy!
Chapter Two: Dateline
Kate's heart stopped cold in her chest. Three years? How could her mind simply erase three years of her life?
"What?" she breathed, looking up at Jack, her husband. The tears on her lashes became heavy, and slowly spilled over, leaving a hot trail down her face.
"You…" Jack stopped, and Kate could see pain in his eyes. "You don't remember anything at all after that?"
Kate broke her gaze off his and steadied it on a spot on the wall opposite her, trying hard to call anything back, anything at all. But nothing came. Her mind felt like the ocean, and she was swimming towards the bottom in the dark, looking for light.
"Jack, I can't remember anything," her voice was a pained whisper. Several more hot tears slipped down her cheeks and gathered at the base of her chin.
Looking back up at him, she could see his heart sinking, and that flooded her heart with guilt. Not only were her memories gone, but theirs were gone too. Their wedding. The first time they kissed. The first time they made love.
Jack stood up from the bed and straightened his already wrinkled blue oxford shirt. It was un-tucked and unbuttoned at the neck, tie long since abandoned.
"I'm gonna go find your doctor," he began, sending her a comforting gaze. "Let him know you're awake."
Kate nodded slowly, tears falling steadily now. Jack took a final look at her, not sure what to do, then left the room.
The door closed with a hollow clink and Kate was left alone with her thoughts.
Her mind wandered to a million different areas, each bringing new questions. First, to the island. Apparently, they had been rescued three years ago. Was the raft successful? Where was everyone now?
This brought her mind to her own whereabouts. Where she had been in three years, and where she hadn't been. Specifically, jail. She couldn't imagine having been sentenced to less than three years. If she had gone, it couldn't have been for very long; she had formed a relationship and gotten married in the remaining time.
Then there was that issue, the issue that she wanted to remember the most: Jack. She felt as if she hadn't been off the island for five minutes: he was the same person to her, the exhausted doctor that she had no future with and knew nothing about. But, things were the exact opposite, she just didn't remember any of it. There were a million things she should know, and wanted to know, and had at one time, but were now completely wiped from her memory.
Things like, what was his favorite food, and their favorite restaurant? Which side of the bed did he sleep on? Did he have any pet names for her? Did they have any pets? Then another question struck her, and she felt sick to her stomach.
Did they have any children?
The door creaked open, and a doctor stepped in, followed by Jack. They must have seen the horrified look on her face, because they both visibly reacted.
"Good to see you awake, Mrs. Shepard," the doctor said, moving to the front of her bed, picking up her chart.
Hearing that name in relation to her sounded completely foreign to her ears.
"Your husband tells me you're having trouble remembering things," the doctor continued from the foot of her bed. Beside her, Jack sat back down in his chair, raising a hand to his face, rubbing his jaw tiredly.
"Mrs. Shepard," the doctor was saying, looking up from the clipboard, but she was focused on Jack.
"Mrs. Shepard?" he tried again, and her brain kicked in, realizing that was her name now. She was no longer Kate Austin, but Kate Shepard, who had a home with someone who loved her.
"You have nothing to worry about, a temporary loss of memory is common after traumas."
The doctor was looking at her, trying to be optimistic, and she was annoyed at him. He said it was nothing to be worried about, but she was very worried about it, and by the stressed look on Jack's face, he was too.
"Other than that, how are you feeling? Any… dizziness, nausea… anything like that?" He was standing, poised, with his pen, ready to write.
Kate shook her head, wanting to get out of there desperately. The doctor nodded slowly, scribbling on the chart furiously. Looking up, he offered Jack and Kate a look of hope.
"Okay, everything is looking good here. We should be able to get you out of here soon."
He moved over to the side of the bed, near Jack, and sat down on the bed, attempting to form a more friendly, comfortable setting. This just annoyed Kate, and Jack looked up at the doctor with irked eyes.
"About your memory, Mrs. Shepard," he began slowly, resting the chart on his knees. "The memory is a highly unpredictable facet of our brains. A patient of mine lost her memory for twenty-four hours, and then woke up the next morning, unaware anything had happened."
He paused for a reaction, but they both sat silently, waiting to hear something reassuring pertaining to them, not just the doctor regaling in tales from the past.
"All I can offer is a few suggestions to hopefully trigger your memory," he looked at Kate tensely and then to Jack, speaking more to him than his patient.
"Show her things from the past, photo albums, special objects," he began, waving his hand in the air in a gesture of procession. "Take her to special places. Sometimes talking to certain people trigger memories; have close family or friends over, and so on."
Jack was resting his head in his hand, leaning on the arm of the chair. His brow was creased in concern as he watched the doctor intently, absorbing the information.
After a moment of silence, the doctor nodded and stood up from the bed.
"If any problems arise, feel free to give me a call," he said, handing his business card to Jack.
He left without a word from Jack or Kate; both lost in thought.
"Um," Jack began, clearing the air of the awkward silence, "I ran home a few hours ago and got you a change of clothes."
He leaned over his chair and picked up a small duffel bag. He stood up and moved to Kate's bedside, setting it on the edge, and unzipped it. She watched as he pulled out a pair of jeans, and a black sweater. Jack set the duffel on the floor, and looked to Kate, holding the clothes in his hands.
Kate was struck with a heavy sense of insecurity. She was sure Jack had seen her change before; they were married, but this was new to Kate. She felt as if she were revealing her body to him for the first time.
Looking at Jack, she realized he must have been thinking the same thing. He was watching at her with an embarrassed look on his face.
"Do you want me to…" he said, gesturing over his shoulder to the door.
Kate shook her head. He didn't need to leave. She was the one who should have to accommodate to this. Jack was used to their lifestyle, and Kate needed to do her best to find her way into it.
She pushed the sheets off herself, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Jack handed her the jeans, and she took them from him, looking at them for a moment.
They were dark, boot-cut, and nice. She almost laughed at herself for thinking about clothing when there were other more pressing issues.
Reaching down, she slowly began pulling them on, feeling them hug to her frame as if they were molded to her. After she buttoned them, she turned to face Jack, now standing in front of him.
"Will you uh," she turned to the side, "untie me?"
Jack nodded, and placed a hand on her shoulder. She turned around, and felt his fingers untying the strings of the hospital gown. She felt it slacken, and the back of it hang open, chilling her bare skin.
Turning back to face him, she held her arms out and let the gown slip off her, thankful instantly that she was wearing a bra. She took the gown, and threw it on the bed next to them.
She could feel Jack's eyes on her, soaking up her image, although she knew he had seen her in less than that countless times before. Reaching over, she picked up the sweater, feeling the soft material wash over her skin.
Kate put her arms through the sleeves, but when she raised her arms to put it over her head, a stinging bolt of pain shot through her right shoulder and down her arm. She dropped it to her side, her left hand coming up to rub the pain out of her shoulder.
Jack's features went on alert, noticing her expression. He took a step forward and gently touched her hand, pulling it from her shoulder.
"You've got a pretty nasty bruise there, Kate," he said, tracing the outline of it with his finger gently. "Let me help you with that."
He raised his hands to the sides of the sweater gathered by her shoulders and began to lift it to her head. She ducked and he helped her head through the neck of the sweater. Jack pulled it down around her, his hands grazing the bare skin of her lower back and sides. She couldn't help but shiver at his light touch, feeling an odd sense of intimacy that he paid no attention to. He was just helping her get a sweater on. They had done much worse, she was sure.
Jack leaned down to the side of the bed and picked up a pair of heeled black boots, and she took them from his hands carefully, smiling slightly.
"Wow, Jack," she said, sitting down to put the boots on. "Your color coordination is fantastic." She looked up at him to see a smile creeping onto his face; relieved at the lighter mood.
She pulled on the boots and stood up, looking around the room for anything she might leave there, and then realized she didn't know what she was looking for. She didn't even know what she owned.
"Let's get out of here," Jack said, throwing on a black leather jacket. Once he had it on, he reached over to the back of another chair near her bed, and picked up a black pea coat. Moving to her, he helped her put it on, careful not to disturb her sore shoulder. He picked up the duffel bag from the bed, and Kate moved to the door.
The feeling of walking on solid ground was unfamiliar to her. She was so used to the unstable feeling of sand sinking beneath her weight, or the rocky, uneven terrain of the jungle. Kate put her hand on the cool, smooth metal of the door handle and pulled it open, stepping into the wide, sterile corridor of the hospital. Jack stepped out behind her and led her down the hall.
Once he was beside her, he slipped his arm around her waist, most likely out of habit, she thought, but she couldn't fight her instantaneous reaction of looking up at him. She caught his eye, and he looked at her. He seemed apologetic, but before he could remove his arm, she slipped hers around his waist, and he smiled.
Kate returned the smile and then resettled her eyes on the hall stretching out ahead of them, not knowing where they were going, and not caring. His firm hold on her waist told her that he knew, and that was all that mattered to her at that moment.
Turning a corner, they faced the double sliding glass doors that led outside, and Kate's heart jumped. Through the glass, she could see clumps of white snow gliding to the ground on a backdrop of the dark sky, caught on the wind. She stopped in her tracks, and Jack turned to face her.
"I don't remember the last time I saw snow," she said, quietly, and then laughed ironically. "Well, obviously."
From the corner of her eye, she could see Jack break into a grin, thankful that her attitude was somewhat positive. She could feel his eyes on hers, but suppressed the insecurities that crept up her throat. Instead, she kept her eyes on the snow, her skin itching to feel the cold.
She dropped her arm from Jack's side, and walked forward, letting the automatic doors open for her, and a cool gust of wind washed over her skin. The cold air felt good against her skin, and she stepped out into the open air.
Small clumps of snow drifted down and landed on her jacket, making their brilliance stand out against the black. She held her hands out, holding them palms up to catch the crystals. They touched her skin, and melted, the cold tingling on her skin.
Turning her face to the sky, clusters landed on her face, in her hair, and on her eyelashes. She turned to Jack, smiling, and walked over to him. He was only standing a few paces away, watching her.
Without saying a word, Jack slipped his arm back around her waist, and she his, and they walked across the parking lot towards a black SUV. Jack walked to the passenger side and opened the door for her.
After Kate climbed into the vehicle, and Jack closed the door, she was enclosed for a short time in the silence, surrounded by the crisp smell of leather, and the slow, drifting night scenery. Then, the silence was disrupted as Jack opened the driver's side door and got in, brushing the remaining snow from his jacket. He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.
Neither of them spoke a word during their trip while they sped down the expressway. Kate looked out her window, watching the passing landscape as they drove by.
Kate found herself settled into the warm air of the SUV, feeling like she had a place, and somewhere to belong. Even though she couldn't remember anything, there was something familiar and comfortable about her surroundings: the car, the clothes, Jack, and even the snow. She had never been in that moment before, but for some reason she couldn't explain, she felt like she had been there all along.
Turning her face from the window, she focused her eyes on Jack, getting a chance to really look at him, and realized how different he was.
The first thing she noticed was that he was clean-shaven. The unkempt stubble from the island was gone, and his smooth skin could be seen. His hair was shorter, but not by much. Finally, he looked relaxed. No longer constantly sweaty and dirty, but clean and comfortable. His left hand rested on the steering wheel; the silver wedding band fitting his hand perfectly.
He caught her looking at him and turned to look at her. He briefly smiled at her, and turned his eyes back to the road.
"What?"
"Nothing," she said, keeping her eyes on him. "Just thinking."
"Thinking?" he looked at her again, raising his eyebrows. He settled his eyes back on the road "You must have a lot of questions. Might as well start asking now."
Kate took a deep breath, steadying herself to start asking, but she realized how scared she was. She needed to build up her barrier, so she decided to start small, at the top of her list.
"Favorite food."
Jack looked at her and laughed.
"Favorite food? You sure that's what you want to start with?"
Kate shrugged and looked out the window.
"Okay," she surrendered, agreeing that her first choice might not have been as important as others. "How about… where are we?"
That question hadn't occurred to her before she saw the snow. Their plane was headed to Los Angeles when they crashed, but she was sure that wasn't where they were.
"New York."
Kate raised her eyebrows. She wasn't expecting that, but she wasn't expecting to lose her memory, either.
"Wow," she said, unsure of how to react. "I've never been here before." But then she realized what she said. "Well… at least I don't remember having been here before."
"It's okay, Kate," Jack said. "I understand."
The car grew silent as Kate thought about what she had probably experienced in New York. Fine dining, Central Park, and generally angry people.
"What's the date?"
Jack took a deep breath, and said, "December 23, 2008."
This struck Kate silent as Jack slowed down to a tollbooth. She heard the change clink into the bin and saw the arm raise, letting them pass through.
"2008," she repeated. "I'm almost thirty."
"In five months," Jack said, smiling slightly, and suddenly a wave of guilt washed over Kate: She didn't know when her own husband's birthday was. That, or even how old he was.
Jack looked over to her and caught the look of guilt on her face.
"My birthday's in November. The seventeenth," he said, smiling sadly. "I'm thirty seven."
Kate nodded slowly, unsure of where to go from there. That question had already been a painful reminder of what was lost between them. What would happen when she started asking bigger questions?
She took a deep breath and sunk lower into her seat, suddenly feeling very tired. The car was smooth, and the seat comfortable, almost lulling her to sleep.
"I always pictured you as more of a… BMW sedan type," she said, looking back at him.
He smiled and laughed.
"Actually, that's what I used to have," he looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "But after being stranded on an island for almost two months, I figured I deserved an upgrade."
Kate nodded and smiled, noticing the Mercedes emblem on the steering wheel.
"I would have gotten white, though," she said, eyes again focused out the windshield.
"You did," he said. "Well, now it's white with specks of blue from the car that hit you."
She watched his face become serious, and her heart slowed. She could see the effect it had on him, and she felt a sudden pang of guilt.
Jack turned the car slowly up an off-ramp, and they sped away from the expressway. They traveled down the street, tall trees, hanging heavy with snow, coming into view. Jack took a right turn after a stop sign, and Kate could see the area becoming more and more suburban with each stop sign they passed.
Slowly, they approached a two story house, with a front porch. Tall trees surrounded the property and dark shutters hung by the windows. Snow clung to the roof, and the bare trees surrounding it. Kate noticed a tall set of windows in the front of the house, lit up by a tall Christmas tree, glowing in white lights. Suddenly, she felt a surge of warmth. This was her home.
Pulling up the driveway, Jack reached up to his visor, and hit the garage door opener. Slowly, he pulled the car into the garage, and shut off the engine.
They got out of the car, Jack going into the backseat to get the duffel bag, and came around the back to see Kate, looking down the driveway.
She looked at him, and followed him up the steps where he opened the door into the kitchen.
Kate was immediately struck with comfort that enveloped her as she stepped inside. Jack closed the door behind her, and set the duffel on the floor. He put the keys on the counter, and flipped a light on, track lighting springing to life above them. Kate looked around her, at the normality, just in the kitchen alone: bills sitting on the counter, a phone hanging on the wall blinking with messages, a pair of worn Nikes on the floor by the door, and a refrigerator covered in pictures.
Kate walked over to the fridge, examining the pictures, looking for any sign of children, when she saw a picture of herself and Jack, and in Jack's arms was a little girl, no more than two, wearing a yellow sundress.
Jack moved to her side, and saw her looking at the picture.
"That's our friends' daughter, Emily," he confirmed, and she exhaled slowly. "We're the godparents."
Kate nodded, moving her eyes around the fridge, noticing one in particular: in it, she was standing at a bathroom sink, brushing her teeth; foam around her mouth.
"The only way you would let me put that one up is if I put this one up," Jack said, amusement in his voice. He pointed to another picture, this one of him. It was taken from outside the bathroom, where he was standing at the sink in a towel, shaving.
Kate's heart swelled at the thought of being there to take that picture, and she smiled.
"You still enjoy making fun of me," he said, laughing, taking another picture off the fridge from further down, holding it up to her. Kate was standing next to him in this one, taking the picture with one hand, and pointing to Jack's neck with the other, where a small trickle of blood was slowly dripping down his skin. She was laughing, and he was rolling his eyes at her, not looking at the camera, but the hint of a smile could be seen on his face.
She laughed, and took the picture from him, placing it on the fridge next to the others. At the top, she saw a picture that made her heart twist in her chest: Both Jack and Kate's hands were extended out of frame, holding the camera, and their lips were touching softly. She assumed this was from the same day, because Jack was still in the towel, and there was shaving cream all over his face, which had rubbed to hers. It was such a simple picture, but it stung, deep in her chest. Seeing herself kissing him drove the desire deeper.
Jack must have noticed the change in her expression, because he moved away from the fridge and took off his coat, placing it in a closet down the hall from the kitchen. She reluctantly turned away from the fridge and faced Jack, who was coming back down the hall.
"Here, let me take your jacket," he said, raising his hands to her shoulders. He took it from her and turned back to the closet. Kate pulled off her boots and walked down the hall after him, wanting to explore the house.
The hall opened up to a large foyer, and Jack stood at the open closet that sat next to a staircase that wrapped up to the second floor. In front of her, heavy oak double doors stood with thin windows on either side, letting the dark snow scene outside show through to the house. To her right, beyond the staircase, was another set of double doors, but they were wide open, revealing a wood paneled den, with a large, heavy desk sitting in the center, surrounded by bookshelves: Jack's office, she assumed.
She turned to her left, and was greeted by a soft, warm scene: it was the living room, glowing with the hazy lights cast off the Christmas tree that sat in the front of the room. Kate walked in, feeling the plush carpet through her socks. She took a few steps forward, glancing around the room.
A large, tan couch sat at the other end of the room, facing a large television. On either sides of the couch sat end tables with picture frames and books resting under wide lampshades. A fireplace sat on the wall opposite her, adorned with picture frame after picture frame.
Kate moved forward and examined the picture frame on the far left. It was of them walking on a beach, hand in hand, wearing summer clothes. She wore a flowing white skirt and a tank top, he wore khaki shorts and a white tee shirt. They were looking at the camera, smiling.
The next picture brought a huge smile to her face: It was of a very large group; Jack and Kate stood near the edge of the group, Jack standing behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist. Kate's hands were holding his around her, and they were both grinning madly.
Upon closer inspection, she recognized the people in the picture. It was a fairly large group, about forty-eight people or so: the survivors of the crash.
She saw the people she knew, like Michael and Walt standing off towards the other edge of the group, next to Hurley, Shannon and Sayid, who had their arms around each other, and Jin and Sun, who were next to Jack and Kate. In front of them, was a line of people sitting down, including Claire and Charlie, Locke, and Sawyer, who looked strikingly different to her.
He was clean-shaven, which was the first thing she noticed, and he didn't have the permanent sneer on his face, which she always seemed to come across. His hair was trimmed, and he was wearing a sensible button-up shirt and slacks. He looked relaxed, and not on-guard.
They were all smiling brightly at the camera, huddled in close like a family. Kate felt her heart grow heavy, wishing she could remember that day; wanting to see everyone in a different atmosphere than the one she remembered them in.
Kate moved on to the next picture, feeling her heart drop further. It was in a larger frame, the largest of the rest on the mantel, and it was of Jack and Kate, kissing once again. But this was different. Kate was wearing a flowing, strapless white gown, and Jack was in a pressed black tuxedo. Kate's hair was up in a French twist, a white flower clinging to her dark hair. She had her arms around his neck, and his left hand was on her neck, showing the same silver band she had observed earlier. Their faces were gentle, in pure bliss, and her heart ached to remember.
She tore her eyes from that picture, feeling Jack's presence behind her. Down the line of pictures, there were several more from their wedding, like the cake cutting, where Jack and Kate stood, in the middle of laughter, cake smeared over their faces. Next to that picture, was another one from the reception, but this one was of a group of people sitting at a round table. It was all their friends from the island, dressed formally, smiling up at the camera.
Then, Kate came to the last picture on the mantel. Jack stood with Kate in his arms, lifting her off the ground, kissing her. They were standing next to a "For Sale" sign, with "SOLD" stamped across the top. Behind them stood a two story white house with dark shutters framing the windows and a porch.
Kate turned to face Jack, with a sad smile on her face.
"How long have we lived here?"
"A little over two years," he said, and walked over to the couch on the other side of the room. Kate followed, sitting down next to him, but leaving space between them. She still wasn't sure how to act around him; she didn't know the style of their relationship.
"Jack," she said tensely, "I don't even know where to start."
Her eyes drifted to his, which were watching her in concentration. He sighed heavily, rubbing a hand across his forehead.
"Might as well start at the beginning," Jack said, his voice was strained, and Kate took a deep breath, steadying herself. Her heart went out to Jack, who was talking to his wife as if she were a stranger.
"Um," he cleared his throat, "About five days after the raft was launched, they were picked up about sixty miles from the island. They sent helicopters over and we were brought to Fiji. From there, we were brought to the States, where you were taken into custody when we landed."
He paused, and Kate nodded slowly, concentrating on his words, hoping to spark any memory she could. Jack leaned forward on the couch, resting his elbows on his knees, looking at the floor.
"I didn't see you for the month leading up to your trial, but I was there when it happened."
His voice sounded pained, and Kate looked over at him as he recalled this memory. He hesitated for a moment before continuing, and looked up at her.
"Your mother testified for you."
Kate's eyes widened with shock. Her mother? The one who had screamed for help at the sight of her daughter's face?
"But…" she stammered, "My mother was sick… She had cancer."
Kate felt the sting of tears behind her eyes, as her vision slowly blurred.
"She went into remission, Kate," Jack smiled sadly, his eyes mirroring her pain.
She let out a shuddering sigh of relief, and a hot tear slid down her cheek. The mother she once thought would never trust her again testified on her behalf, and she couldn't remember it.
Kate could see Jack's heart going out to her and he reached over, and brushed his thumb across her cheek, wiping away the tear. This contact was new to her and more intimate than she expected, but she didn't flinch, or turn away. She welcomed his warmth soaking into her skin. This was the kind of comfort she had been wanting for too long. She watched his eyes carefully and reveled in the moment, before he pulled his hand away, lacing his fingers together between his knees.
"It was her testimony that really got to the jury," he continued. "That's what got you the 'not guilty'."
Kate's heart skipped a beat. She wanted nothing more than to hear those words, and to feel her freedom, but the resolution hadn't resounded in her yet. Her married self had over three years to realize the fact that she was found not guilty, but her current self still had the mentality of a person surviving on an island. The guilt she had carried with her for all those years still hung on her back, and she hoped that, with time, the weight would lessen.
Jack took a deep breath and looked back up at Kate. Slowly, a smile spread on to his face and he sat up.
"I took you to dinner that night to celebrate." Jack's smile was glowing now at the memory. Kate couldn't help but smile back, doing her best to imagine what it would be like to have a private dinner with Jack. She couldn't even remember what it was like to eat real food.
"That was in September," Jack went on. "Officially, we started dating in October when I got back from a medical conference in Houston."
Jack stood up and went over to the mantel, picking up one of the pictures Kate had been looking at earlier. He walked back to the couch, sat down, and handed her the picture. It was the one of the survivors posing for a group photo. A smile spread over her lips.
"That was the one-year anniversary of our rescue," he said, and Kate looked up at him from the picture. "We had been together for ten months. That was the day I proposed."
Kate's smile turned into a grin, and she looked back down at the picture. She then noticed a diamond studded engagement ring on her left hand. The one she was currently wearing.
"We got married three months later in November. It was a small wedding; just some friends and family."
Kate stood up to return the picture frame to the mantel, suddenly feeling sadness sink into the pit of her stomach. Of course it was small. She wouldn't have anyone to invite.
Slowly, she turned back to the couch and lowered herself onto the soft cushions slowly, exhaling deeply. She felt as if she were living someone else's life. Kate knew nothing about the person she had become after their rescue. She knew nothing about the home she shared with the man she loved. Hell, she didn't even know where the bathroom was.
"A year later, right before our one-year anniversary, we got a call from Dateline asking us to appear on the show."
Kate looked up at Jack, surprised. What would a television show want with them?
"We…" Kate began, taken aback. "We were on Dateline?"
Jack, laughing at her incredulous expression and nodding.
"Yeah, I was surprised too."
He paused, and then got up from the couch, moving over to the TV. He opened a cabinet on the TV stand, and Kate saw him pushing things around inside, looking for something. After a moment, he pulled out a video tape, and held it up to show Kate. Then it dawned on her what he had been looking for.
"Is that it?" she asked, in disbelief.
He nodded, turning back to the TV, and he pushed the tape into the VCR. The TV sprang into motion, and the tape jumped on the screen.
Long-shots of beaches and waves crashing on the sand came onto the screen, as a woman's voice began the narration:
" Forty-eight people survived the horrific crash of Oceanic Flight 815. For fifty days, they survived on an island they knew nothing about, hoping to be saved. Finally, after three men and one boy launched a hand-made raft, they were saved."Kate turned to look to Jack to gauge his reaction, wondering if he had watched this since its original airing, but found his eyes locked on her. She hadn't felt his eyes on her, the way she had once been able to. She turned back to the screen when he didn't remove his gaze.
"Among those stranded were a spinal surgeon, an Iraqi communications officer, a lottery winner, and a criminal."
Kate's mug shot flashed onto the screen, and she felt her body stiffen at the sight of the cruel black and white photo.
"People who thought they would never meet, were now depending on each other in ways they never imagined."
Dramatic music swelled, and the screen cut to a wide shot of a group of people: the survivors. People she felt like she had seen less than a day before.
In the back row, Sayid and Shannon sat together, holding hands casually. Next to them were Michael, Walt, Sun, Jin, and Locke. They sat, smiling at the interviewer who was off-camera. In the row in front of them were Jack and Kate to the far left, Jack with his arm draped around Kate's shoulders, her hand resting comfortably on his thigh. Next to Kate were Charlie and Claire, who sat close, hands entwined, and next to them sat a grinning Hurley, and an unusually amiable looking Sawyer.
The camera turned to an overly-excited Katie Couric, who sat smiling widely at the castaways.
"It has been over two years since your rescue," she began, letting a dramatic pause elapse, "and you all look as close as if you never left."
A collective chuckle was heard from the group.
"What was it like," Katie continued, again pausing, "to crash on an island with forty-eight strangers?"
The camera turned to the group, and Kate saw everyone turning to each other, unsure of who should speak first.
"Well… it was like…" Hurley began, "One minute, you're on a thirteen hour flight to Los Angeles, and the next, you're sitting in the sand with some pregnant girl asking her how often her contractions are coming."
The group laughed again, and Claire blushed at the memory. Charlie looked at her and grinned wider, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.
"Jack," Katie said, bringing the attention to him. "This must have been difficult for you, being the only doctor among the survivors."
The camera cut to Jack and Kate, Jack still with his arm around Kate. She was looking up at him, smiling with pride in her eyes. Jack was looking at Katie, his eyebrows raised at her obvious statement.
"Yeah," he began. "It was absolutely insane when we first crashed. But after the initial panic wore off, things calmed down, which made being a doctor a lot easier."
"Cause everyone knows, doctors gotta have it easy," a sarcastic, southern drawl came from off screen, and the camera cut to a smirking Sawyer. "All they're doin' is savin' lives."
The camera cut back to Katie, who was chuckling at the handsome southerner, tucking her hair behind her ear.
"Whose idea was it? To build the raft?"
"Well," Michael spoke up, "It was a joint effort, really.
"I had to save my wife," Jin said in a thick Korean accent. Sun grinned at her husband, beaming with pride.
Kate looked at Jack.
"He learned English?" she asked, slightly astonished.
"Yeah," Jack nodded. "Sun started teaching him a little bit, and then he started taking classes. He's gotten pretty good."
"How are they?" Kate asked tentatively. "I mean… how's their marriage?"
Jack's smile faded slightly, but not completely.
"Good," he said with confidence, calming Kate's worries. "At the reunion, they were happy. I think their time on the island really changed things between them."
Kate nodded, glad to hear that her confidant had found happiness of her own. Every time she had spoken to her, she had seen a deep sadness in Sun's eyes, telling her that Kate wasn't the only one who suffered with her past.
"You spent five days out on the ocean," Katie said from the TV, calling Kate's eyes back to the screen. "What happened on that fifth day?" Her voice had the air of holding a secret; the way a journalist asks questions they already know the answers to, in order to have the guests tell it themselves.
"A cruise ship saw us," Walt's cheerful voice said.
"Man, I can't tell you how good it felt to take a shower," Michael said, laughing.
"And have some real alcohol," Sawyer said, with a hint of amusement in his voice.
"What was it like to know you were finally rescued? That you would be going home?"
A audible sigh of relief could be heard from the group.
"It was amazing," Sayid said, smiling broadly. "We had all worked so hard, and to hear those helicopters, was like music to our ears."
"But not everyone would be able to go home," Katie said, her voice sobering, playing the narrator for the survivors to tell the camera their story.
The group quieted, thinking of the loses they all had to bear.
"Shannon," Katie prompted. "You lost your step-brother, Boone."
The camera turned to Shannon, whose face fell slightly at the mention of Boone, but Kate could see that her eyes had steeled, having been given almost two years to heal her wounds. She nodded and smiled slightly in loving memory, and took a deep breath.
"Yeah," she began. "Boone died while we were still on the island."
"He had severe internal bleeding," Jack stepped in, so as to take the burden of explaining Boone's death for Shannon. "I did everything I could given the circumstances."
A sad smile fluttered onto Jack's face, and Kate watched the screen intently, watching Jack's guilt fill his eyes, even after almost two years.
"Boone died trying to save us," Locke spoke up, showing his pride for Boone's heroic effort. "He was sending out a distress call in an abandoned plane we found in the jungle. He was a very brave person."
Locke's face was resigned as he spoke, and Kate saw the loss wearing on his face. Her heart stung remembering the way people blamed him for Boone's death, including Jack.
"I'm sure Boone would be glad to see how happy you are now, Shannon," Katie offered her sympathies, in her chirpy, television personality voice. Shannon nodded her thanks at the respectful comment, squeezing Sayid's hand tighter.
"Everyone in this group has formed such tight bonds," Katie continued, back to her questioning voice. "Including those of marriage."
Two couples in the group visibly reacted, their smiles widening and heads bowing.
"Claire, you were pregnant on the island," Katie said, laughing slightly. "Giving birth without anesthetics must have been something you will never forget."
Claire laughed, and rolled her eyes.
"I think the whole experience in general will be pretty unforgettable."
The group laughed in agreement, and Kate felt her face grow warm, although none of them could see her. The room was dark, apart from the glow of the Christmas tree, and she knew Jack couldn't see her increasingly pink cheeks, but Kate felt ashamed to have forgotten those last few days on the island. She wanted to remember every unbearable, sun-baked minute.
"Well, after Aaron was born," Claire continued in her airy Australian accent, "I found myself feeling even more lost than before he was born. Charlie helped me a lot with him, even though he didn't have to."
Charlie blushed, and grinned, pulling her closer to him with the arm he had tucked securely around her shoulders.
"I wanted to do everything I could to help," he said. "I didn't know what I was doing of course," he laughed, along with the others, "but I still wanted to make it less difficult for her."
"And you have been married for how long now?" Katie said in television admiration.
"Five months," Charlie said, his smile spreading wider, crinkling his eyes at the corners. Kate watched his face fill with joy as he and Claire kissed sweetly.
"Speaking of love," Katie said, switching to slightly different gears. "Jack," she stated, her eyes flashing with journalistic delight, a wide smile spreading across her lips. "When did you know you were in love?"
The screen cut to Jack and Kate, sitting side-by-side. Kate watched herself as her face turned upward at Jack, her eyes locked on his; bliss on her face. Jack's lips spread into a smile, his eyes cast downward in thought. A second later, his smile widened into a grin before he responded.
"Well," he began slowly, his eyes still cast away, staring into open air, seemingly lost in a memory. "She had her trial about a month after we were rescued," his eyes moved up and off-screen, looking at Katie, telling their story.
"I was sitting a few rows back when the verdict was read. I hadn't seen her after we were rescued until her trial."
His voice shifted from telling the story to an innocent listener, to sharing details he had perhaps never said before. His eyes clouded with a hesitant fear, calling back the memory. Kate knew how Jack reacted to fear, and felt confident that, no matter what the circumstances, Jack would stay level headed. But when she saw that in his eyes, Kate couldn't fight her own fear.
"When I heard the words 'not guilty' I saw her body, just… crumble."
Kate watched her own face as her on-screen self recalled something that she now had no recollection of.
"And I realized how scared she was," he paused, smiling slightly, "and how close I had come to losing her. The thought of being without her… it just… I couldn't imagine it," Jack said, struggling with finding sufficient words to describe his grief. He turned his face to hers on the screen and looked at her, deeply conveying his connection to her.
"While we were on the island," he continued, looking back up at Katie, "I had always felt a connection to her, worrying about her, and I cared about her. But that was when I knew. Without a doubt at all in my mind," he was shaking his head to emphasize his lack of doubt, and looked back at Kate, "that I loved her."
Kate felt tears sting her eyes as she watched herself on screen, gazing so adoringly at the man she loves, before they kissed, quickly, but with care, like they had done it a million times before. It was practiced and perfected, but not taken for granted.
"He might have known it then," Charlie said, the camera cutting to him, "but the rest of us knew it the day we crashed."
A collective laugh came from the group, and the camera widened to show all of them, all grinning in laughter and individual happiness.
The Dateline logo faded onto the screen, and a moment later, the screen blurred into fuzziness. Jack got up off the couch and ejected the tape, turning the television off. He didn't return to the couch, in stead stood near the television in front of Kate.
She was at a loss for words. It felt foreign to see the people she was used to seeing around trees and sand on a set, wearing clean clothes. Her heart was tight with a feeling of longing for the island, almost wishing to be back there, if just to see the people she had grown to call her family for one last time. But then she realized, she had a family. Jack was her family.
Kate looked up at him with a new feeling of comfort with him. She had trusted him with her secrets on the island, and now he knew more about her than anyone else she knew. They had shared intimate, embarrassing moments, and dark secrets, but there he was, standing in front of her with his hands resting in his pockets. He was still there, and her heart swelled at the thought of anyone being able to look past what she'd done, and love her for the person she was, and not fear her for the things she'd done.
Standing up, she moved to stand in front of him awkwardly, not recalling the last time she stood that close to him. She turned her face up to his, and smiled slightly, watching his dark brown eyes.
"Thank you," she breathed. She felt the emotion rising from her chest, and fought to hold it down. "So much, for everything. For loving me."
Hot tears brimmed on her eyes, and her chest ached with the need of comfort. Her arms went up and wrapped around his shoulders, holding on tightly, ignoring the searing pain in her right shoulder. Jack's arms were instantly around her waist, and she could tell by the way he rubbed her back, that this was their marriage. She was feeling her husband comforting her for the first time.
TBC