Phandor the Almighty
Chapter One: Horoscopes
Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. So I do not own Harry Potter.
Authors Note: Hi, this is the 2nd half of Lone and Stranger. I had the idea for this one night as I looked at all of the nicknames poor Tonks has on this site. Although the title makes no sense to you now, it should by the end of this chapter.
This is only going to be 3 or so chapters long. I want to try and get the whole thing out by the Release of HBP…
Remus John Lupin was full of sugar
He was sure it had something to do with the suspicious way Kingsley was acting this morning. 'Stupid Shacklebolt' he muttered under his breath. Everyone in Grimmauld Place knew that Remus liked his morning tea with only one spoonful of sugar. Kingsley must have put in the entire container when he wasn't looking. Remus was on a sugar buzz, and it took all of his strength not to bounce off the walls like a toddler.
To help calm his shaking nerves, he consented to reading the Daily Prophet, skimming over articles praising Harry and Dumbledore on spreading that word that Voldemort had returned. To Remus, it was funny how much money the Daily Prophet had now lost. First, all they did was scheme up stories on how Harry was going bonkers. Now they had to correct all of their stories. This had to have cost them a fortune.
He skipped to the Horoscopes page. Made by one faulty Seer or another, the Horoscopes were rarely ever true. "Today is an Eight" he said aloud. "You will be blissful, with a newfound thing in your life". He sighed. His days were always 'Eights'. On Full moon days, and even on the day Sirius died-he choked on the memory.
To rid himself of that thought, he turned to the sports.
The Ireland team was a shoe-in to be in the World Cup again. The Canada team looked like this year's favorite to beat, however.
A sound of bells arose from the entryway. Remus chuckled inwardly. Dumbledore was a genius. He had created a spell for number 12 Grimmauld place. If a member of the order (Or Harry, Ron, and Hermione) apparated inside the house, a sound of bells would chime, letting everyone know that it was safe. If buzzers went off, however, every Order member there would be at that doorway in a matter of seconds, wands outstretched.
Not really wanting to get out of his chair, he craned his neck around the corner, to see who was on the other side of the wall.
"Wotcher, Remus!" The magenta-haired young witch stepped into his line of sight.
"Morning, Nymphandora" He nodded a hello before taking a sip out of his Earl Grey Tea. Tonks blinked unhappily at his use of her first name, but she counted to ten and sat down beside him.
Like a little girl, she peered over his shoulder. "Anything interesting that's non-Harry related today?" He chuckled. "Not today…..probably never."
She smiled and looked at his discarded pile of papers. "Say, are you done with the horoscopes section?" He looked quizzically at her.
"I like to check up on whether I'm going to have a good day or not."
His quizzical look remained, although he handed her the paper. She scanned over it for a minute before she read aloud:
"Today is an Eight. Expect something to happen today that you've been dreaming about for a long time"
Remus chuckled. "My fortune was an eight today as well. Always has been, always will be."
Tonks grinned. "I know, I know. Horoscopes aren't true…"
"Right you are, Nymphandora."
"Remus…….what have I told you about calling me that?"
"I know, I know. But, Nymphandora is such a pretty name." He could feel the sugar racing through his bloodstream. This was not going to turn out well.
"Just…Call….Me….Tonks" she said strained though gritted teeth.
"Oh come now, everyone calls you that. I think I should come up with a new nickname…"
He pretended as if he were pondering. "What about Nymph?"
"Merlin, no Remus. That sounds terrible!"
"Okay. No Nymph………..What about….Dora"
She looked at him as if her were crazy. "That makes me sound like an old woman!"
He studied her for a moment. Then uncharacteristically, he broke out into laughter. "W-what about Phandor?"
Once again, he received the crazy-man look. "It's the middle letters in your name."
"It makes me sound... like an elephant" she said slowly
He pondered for a moment. "Actually, it makes you sound like a superhero." He adopted a squeaky girl's voice. "Thanks you for saving my family, Phandor the Almighty!"
He sat back down in his chair. Tonks was staring at him open mouthed. Finally, she collapsed with laughter. "Yes, Remus. Calling me Phandor is socially acceptable. That sounds soooooo much like a girl's name"
"Well, it shouldn't. I think of you as an attractive young woman"
He groaned inwardly at that last sentence. Why now, of all times, should he let something slip about his feelings? Of course Kingsley was partly to blame.
Remus smiled fake-cheerfully. "So, I hear the weather is going to be nice today" he said as he (badly) tried to change the subject.
Tonks just simply stared at him. There was a battle going on inside her mind. Did he just say that? No…it was just a friendly gesture. Yeah…that was it. There was no way he felt the same way that she did…no…no way. But still…… she smiled. Her horoscope said something she had been waiting for would come true today. Sirius had always told her that Remus fancied her, but she always thought her cousin was kidding. Maybe he was, and maybe he wasn't.
She grinned from ear to ear. Maybe confusing the old wolf will provide me with some answers….