Chapter 2- October

October 6th

It's been a whole year. I can't believe he's gone and it's all my fault. He told me that he had to hide, and that it wasn't safe for me to visit him during Hogsmeade weekend. But I was a bad girlfriend and I nagged him. I owled him and owled him until he said it was OK. He told me that we needed to be a secret because You-Know-Who was mad at his father for not coming when he called. I didn't believe him. Harry was the only one who believed that You-Know-Who was back and everyone thought he was crazy. Even the Daily Prophet. Even me. But Harry wasn't crazy. My brave Harry was right. If I believed Harry, my old boyfriend would still be alive. I'll never doubt Harry again. Harry always tells the truth.

I was a bad girlfriend. I told my boyfriend's secret and now he's dead. I should have known something was wrong when Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle teased me. They never even talked to me before. They teased by saying that I was so ugly that no boy would ever have anything to do with me. They followed me around and said it over and over again. They called me fat and ugly. They asked me if my mother was a troll. They kept saying that I'd never be kissed. That's when I told my boyfriend's secret. I yelled at those Slytherins that I DID have a boyfriend and that he even kissed me, and he was going to kiss me some more when I met him in Hogsmeade.

I saw my boyfriend in Hogsmeade and we did kiss. Twice. The next day at breakfast I read in the Daily Prophet that they found him dead. I was a very bad girlfriend. I nagged my boyfriend and I told his secret. Now he's dead. Slytherins and You-Know-Who killed him and I helped.

Harry's my boyfriend now. Sometimes, I see the Slytherins and think about what they said to me. Harry would never let someone be mean to me like that. Harry loves me for who I am. After You-Know-Who is dead, they'll see. We won't have to hide anymore and Harry will make those Slytherins see how much he loves me. You-Know-Who can't kill Harry. He already tried before and failed. I'm a good girlfriend for Harry because I don't nag and tell secrets anymore. Harry will always be safe.

I wish it were that simple, Miss Tilly.

Severus sat back and rubbed his temples. He remembered the young man who was killed in Hogsmeade. He was a squib and the son of a low ranking Death Eater who owned a shop in Hogsmeade's business district. His father did not heed the call of the Dark Mark and the Dark Lord made an example of him.

The Dark Lord generally killed his enemies outright, but used more subtle methods to terrorize his followers…he killed the things they loved. Severus had always drawn strength from the fact that he loved nothing and no one. The only leverage the Dark Lord had over him was physical pain and death, neither of which was strong enough to sway him to the Dark Lord's will. Now there was Hermione, and he fully appreciated the terrible hold the Dark Lord had on his followers.

The young man was one of the first examples of the Dark Lord's displeasure with any who would not answer his call. He needed able wizards to do his bidding, so the squib was an obvious choice for death. Severus told Dumbledore about the Dark Lord's plans. The Headmaster, in turn, warned the family who placed the boy in hiding.

How the Death Eaters found the boy was a mystery at the time of his death; it was a mystery that was now solved.

You are quite correct Miss Tilly; in this situation, a good girlfriend does not tell her boyfriend's secrets.

Severus sipped his tea and read the entry again.

I should have known something was wrong when Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle teased me. They never even talked to me before.

Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle…sons of Death Eaters.

He shook his head regretfully and wondered if the boys knew that they were gathering information that would be used to kill a young man much like themselves. Crabbe and Goyle were dunderheads; Severus was sure that they followed Malfoy's lead without question or consideration for the consequences. Malfoy, on the other hand, was intelligent, cunning, and insightful; he was very much his father's son.

If Malfoy didn't know at the time that he was involved in a conspiracy to commit murder, he certainly knew after the fact and did not show any remorse. Severus had been watching the younger Malfoy carefully after the return of the Dark Lord. If Draco were disturbed by the part he played in the young man's murder, Severus would have known it.

Severus knew that Draco Malfoy passed information on to his father about the goings on at Hogwarts. He was just never sure if the boy was a witting participant in the espionage -- until now. Miss Tilly's diary provided compelling evidence that Draco was much more than his father's hapless dupe. Draco enlisted the aide of his companions, sought out a girl whom he never spoke to before, and teased her about a boyfriend, a boyfriend who ended up dead not two days later. Draco warranted close scrutiny.

Severus shuddered to think what would happen if Malfoy discovered his relationship with Hermione. Severus Snape --Death Eater, bedding the mud blood sidekick of the Boy-Who-Lived. He wondered how long the Dark Lord would permit him to draw breath after he made him watch Hermione as she was raped, tortured and murdered.

Severus groaned in frustration and chastised himself for his selfishness. One would think that the prospect of rape, torture and death would be enough to deter him from seeing Hermione, but their relationship was wrong on so many other levels that pursuing it was…

Insane?

The word came to him unbidden. The irony of the situation was not lost on Severus.

At the very least, the relationship was unethical. She was an eighteen-year-old student and he was her teacher. Even more, it was unfair to Hermione. As a double agent, he had the life expectancy of a gnat. Realistically, he had no future, whereas Hermione's future was as bright and promising as the sunrise on a clear spring day. What right did he have to jeopardize that?

Severus steepled his hands in front of his face and breathed deeply. Perhaps it would be best for all involved if he were sent to Azkaban.

Miss Tilly's diary gave him insight into her mental condition and the nature of her attraction to Harry Potter. It gave him valuable information about Draco Malfoy. Most disturbingly, it caused him to reflect on the futility of his relationship with Hermione Granger.

It told him everything except what he needed to know. Why did Hyacinth Tilly die?

October 15th

Harry came to the Owlery today, but we couldn't talk because Granger followed him. She never gives us any privacy. I hate her. She's trying to break us up. She is trying to make Harry love other girls. She's confusing him.

She didn't know I was there and I heard everything she said. She made Harry owl a letter to Katie Bell asking her to the Halloween Ball. She nagged him for not owling Katie earlier. He said that he did but Hedwig took it to the wrong person.

Why would he say that? Our Hedwig would never make that kind of mistake. Besides, I know he never owled her because he tells me everyone who he sends letters to. He only owls Professor Lupin. He must have owled Katie Bell a very long time ago. Last year maybe, because Harry would never lie

.

Harry always tells the truth, even when people are mean to him about it. Last year he told the truth about You-Know-Who and nobody believed him, but he was right. He must be trying to trick Granger because he doesn't trust her. She already nags him. She must be the kind of girl who tells secrets too.

I'm glad my Harry is smart enough not to tell her his secrets. But still, he's a boy, and boys make mistakes. They get tired of nagging and give in. They tell secrets by accident. Nagging and telling secrets are dangerous. Something is going to have to be done about Hermione Granger before she does something to get my Harry hurt.

'Something is going to have to be done about Hermione Granger'…we now have a motive and a bona fide threat.

Severus was not surprised that no one had been able to ascertain why Hyacinth Tilly attacked Hermione. The girl walked the same halls, ate the same food, slept in the same dormitories, and attended the same classes as the other students, yet somehow existed in an entirely different universe. She had the same objective as every adult at Hogwarts; keep Potter safe at all costs. But, in spite of her single-minded focus on the boy, she managed to overlook every real threat and construed every innocent interaction as a mortal danger.

The thing that intrigued him the most about Miss Tilly's universe was its rigidity. Everything was absolute. Things were black or white, good or bad. Potter always told the truth. Hermione was always bad. There were rules. Her madness had a structure and order that Severus found morbidly fascinating.

It struck him as odd that Miss Tilly made the decision to "do something" about Hermione in October, yet waited until May to make her move. Her attack on Hermione lacked finesse, so he doubted that she planned it for any length of time. If Miss Tilly thought Hermione posed an immediate threat to Potter, she would have moved sooner. Something must have stopped her. But what?

Puzzling.

October 31st

Harry took Katie Bell to the Halloween Ball. She came in special for it. All of her friends went giddy when she came into the common room. All the shrieking and giggling gave me a headache. She looked pretty enough, I suppose. People expect Harry Potter to have a pretty girlfriend. My Harry needs to have a pretty girl to keep up appearances.

Harry looked so handsome. He wore navy blue dress robes with a white shirt and black trousers. Katie was fussing over him, straightening things out and fixing things. She tried to do something with his hair but it was hopeless. She laughed and said it was part of his charm. I'm not sure if all of her fussing was nagging or not. Harry seemed a little embarrassed, but didn't tell her to stop. He smiled at her a lot, but it wasn't that same quirky smile that he only gives to me. The one that makes it look like he has butterflies in his stomach.

Granger went with Ron. She pulls out all the stops when she goes to Balls. She straightened out her bushy mop of hair and put on some make-up. She wore a dark red silky dress robe and perfume. I could smell it clear across the common room. If her intention was to suffocate Ron, she was off to a good start. Harry didn't think that Granger looked pretty. He didn't notice that she was different at all.

Everyone fifth year and up is going to the Ball tonight except me. Even some of the fourth years are going. I would be sad about not going but I know that this is jut the way it has to be when you are Harry Potter's girlfriend.

The Halloween Ball. Ah, yes…the dark red robes, her perfume…

Severus smiled when he thought of that night and marveled at how his perception of Hermione had changed in such a short period of time. He didn't love Hermione in October; she was still nothing more than an insufferable know-it-all to him at that time. But she did look lovely that night. Lovely enough that he had taken notice. She didn't look like a student; she looked like…a woman.

Severus wondered if perhaps the Halloween Ball really was the beginning of his fascination with Hermione. He'd always thought it was the time they spent together making up work, after her accident in potions.

Severus paused. It always seemed very unlikely to him the Hermione Granger would be capable of making the mistake that landed her in the hospital wing for two weeks, but there was no reason to suspect anything else at the time. Now there was.

Perhaps last night was not Miss Tilly's first attempt to kill Hermione.