Chapter 7 - March

March 10th

Hermione Granger is a very bad secret keeper. She can't even keep her own secrets. I know lots of her secrets just by watching her. I know Professor Snape is her boyfriend because I saw them kiss on Valentines Day and I know that they're not doing potions in her private potions class because she acts sneaky before she goes to the Dungeons. She wouldn't be sneaky if she was doing what she was supposed to be doing. Nobody else notices that she is being sneaky, but I do because I pay attention. I have to pay attention to her to keep my Harry safe.

She thinks she is being so clever when she wears her outer robes all closed up before she leaves. She usually wears them open over her uniform like everyone else, but before she goes to private potions she wears them closed. I think it's because she's wearing special pretty clothes for her boyfriend and doesn't want anyone else to see them.

No one else notices that she has been taking the exact same books and parchments with her for weeks. If she were really working on potions, her stack of parchments would have looked like someone cast a swelling spell on it and she would have new books to read by now. No one notices that she doesn't have any new work done but me and I'm the only one who knows the reason why. She isn't doing potions in the dungeons with Professor Snape. She's kissing him. Kissing him and telling him Harry's secrets.

I know she is telling Snape Harry's secrets because I watch her in potions class. Hermione's been coming to potions class again since we started reviewing for NEWTs. We were reviewing Polyjuice potion and Professor Snape asked Harry a question that he couldn't answer. Snape told Harry that he was surprised that someone with his experience would get a question like that wrong. Harry looked a little confused and a little guilty, but Hermione got all pinch faced, like she sucked on a lemon. She was so mad she didn't even wave her hand in the air to answer the question. No one else knew that what happened was important, but I knew.

I knew that Professor Snape was making fun of Harry, because he knew one of Harry's secrets. He was probably trying to make Harry feel scared. Maybe scared enough to talk to Hermione and tell her more secrets so she could tell Snape. You have to be very careful with Slytherins. They are very sneaky, mean people.

I was hoping Harry would figure out that Snape knew one of his secrets because someone was telling him. I don't think a lot of people know that Harry, Ron and Hermione brewed Polyjuice potion in our second year. I was hoping Harry would figure out that Hermione told Snape, but he didn't seem to. I'm so disappointed. Sometimes boys aren't good at figuring things out. That's why they have girlfriends to look out for them. I'll always look out for Harry.

I can't warn Harry yet. Harry thinks Hermione is his friend and he won't believe that Hermione is telling his secrets to Snape unless I can prove it. He's very sweet that way. I have to find out what else she is telling Professor Snape when she goes to the dungeons. But how?

Oh dear gods. How could we...how could I… have been so careless?

Severus rubbed his forehead and groaned with guilt and frustration. He had asked her to wear her street clothes when she came to the dungeons. She objected at first, correctly pointing out that it would seem odd to the other students - that it would arouse suspicion. But he insisted. He instructed her to close her robes and no one would be the wiser.

No one, indeed.

She was right. He knew she was right as soon as she spoke her objection, but he insisted just the same. Students wore school uniforms, and Severus Snape did not sleep with students.

Over the years there had been talk about the occasional Professor who had taken advantage of his position to seduce some bright young girl. Such talk was usually followed by an announcement that the errant professor had regretfully submitted his resignation to accept a lucrative position in the private sector. The young woman, if a seventh year, was pushed along to end of term, where she would receive no honors. If a sixth year, a plausible story was constructed to explain the girl's abrupt transfer to another school. The chances of being discovered were substantial and the penalties for both the faculty member and the student were harsh. It was an insane risk to take for the questionable pleasures of an inexperienced girl.

An insane risk.

A flicker of realization formed in his mind and was quickly squelched. Hermione was different; anyone with any sense could see that. She was far brighter than any student he had ever taught, and probably brighter than half of the faculty. She was his intellectual equal. She had met the enemy in battle and outwitted him. She had faced death. She had experienced loss and she had experienced...

Love?

No, Severus reassured himself; Hermione was not simply a student and their relationship was not merely a tawdry faculty/student tryst. Hermione was a woman. Perhaps the only woman who would ever be capable of understanding him. She was worth the risk to his reputation and his career.

Am I worth the risk to her reputation and her future?

Severus closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. The question came to him unbidden and the answer that immediately came to his mind disturbed him. He wondered if she was even aware of the penalties she would face if their relationship were discovered. He was sure he never told her. It wasn't a topic that was addressed in Hogwarts, a History. Did she know that she was risking all of the recognition and the honors she earned when she came to him? If she did know, would she think that a shag with a middle aged professor with the life expectancy of a flea was worth risking her bright future?

He rather suspected she would. She loved him. She told him so, and he was a Legilimens so he would know if she was lying. She loved him. Hermione Granger, the brightest witch in a century, loved Severus Snape…Snivellus…the greasy git.

Frustrated, Severus ran his hand through his hair and snorted with disgust. They were right; it really was greasy. His nose was a beak, his body was nothing remarkable, he had no wealth to speak of, and his temperament -- oh yes, and his disposition could never be called warm or kind. On the contrary, to his shame, he recalled being quite cruel to Hermione when she was younger. He remembered her anger and tears when he casually remarked that he could see no difference in her appearance after one Slytherin or another enlarged her teeth to an alarming size.

Severus sat up straighter in his chair. True, he wasn't handsome or rich, but he had something rare and valuable to offer…an exceptional mind. It was not a quality that an unsophisticated person would recognize or value, but Hermione was kindred. She not only recognized his intellectual advantages, she loved him for them. She told him so. And what's more, she told him she loved him for his courage. She admired him for bearing a mark for which most others would hate him.

Hermione valued courage and intelligence, while other girls her age swooned over handsome faces and prowess on the Quidditch pitch. Hermione had a woman's sensibilities. More than just a woman's sensibilities, she had an exceptional woman's sensibilities. Hermione was an exceptional woman.

She had to be, Severus considered, because if she were merely a bright student then he was nothing more than a pervy old professor who dipped his quill in a forbidden inkwell. An old fool, worthy of nothing more than ridicule. Severus Snape was many things, but not a fool.

Resolved, Severus drew a determined breath and returned to the business of saving his own life.

March 28th

Daddy didn't meet me at the station today, Mrs. Ely did. She was very nice. When she saw me she said that my hair was growing in nicely. She even said she would tidy it up a bit over the break. We had lunch at the Leaky Cauldron before we went to the shop and Mr. Ely took us all out for ice cream at Florean Fortesque's again. I had the most wonderful chocolate sundae with nuts and marshmallows.

At lunch, Mrs. Ely talked to me about spending so much time in my room. She said the same thing she said at Christmas Holiday. She said that it wasn't healthy for a girl my age to spend so much time alone. She said she was going to make sure that she kept me busy doing things that a girl my age should be doing. I know she thinks she was being nice, but she doesn't understand that I'm not alone. I'm never alone. I have secret friends.

My friends came with me again. Bella was so happy that Mrs. Ely was taking an interest in me. She thought that it was very nice that I had a friend who didn't have to be a secret. She thought it was lovely that Mrs. Ely wanted to take me out to do interesting things. Bella said it would take my mind off of Harry and give me interesting things to tell him when we are together and we don't have to be a secret anymore. Bella is sweet. I would never say this in front of the others, but I think she is my best friend.

Mary and Suzy didn't care about Mrs. Ely one way or another until she said she was going to tidy up my hair. Then they got very interested. Mary and Suzy said that a good girlfriend looks nice for her boyfriend so he'll want to kiss her. They were a little cross with me for eating the ice cream sundae because they think I should be slimming.

Annie was flouncing all day. She said she was irked because I was paying more attention to Mrs. Ely than I was to her. She was really very difficult. She threw a wobbler and said that I wasn't showing her the respect that a Best New Friend was entitled to. Annie said that Mrs. Ely was trying to take me away from her because she was jealous.

Bella tried to explain to Annie that Mrs. Ely couldn't be jealous of her because she didn't even know her, but that didn't make a bit of difference to Annie. Annie got very angry with Bella and started yelling at her that she was jealous of her too, because she was the Best New Friend. Annie started yelling that she was the Best New Friend because she was the one who could protect Harry. She was the one who knew exactly what Granger and Snape were like and that everyone else was wrong about them. She said she was the smartest and the bravest friend.

She didn't calm down about it until Mary and Suzy started hugging her and telling her she was the best friend ever. Bella didn't tell Annie that she was the best at anything and now Annie isn't talking to her anymore. Mary and Suzy aren't talking to Bella either because they don't want Annie to be angry with them. I still talk to Bella, but only when Annie isn't looking because I don't want Annie to be angry with me too.

Bella went to bed early and the rest of us talked about Harry. Annie decided that we were going to spend the spring holidays finding a way to protect Harry once and for all. And she said that Mrs. Ely had better stay out of it if she knows what's good for her.

Severus rubbed his temples. Miss Tilly and her maniacal menagerie of imaginary friends were wearing him out. They simultaneously frustrated and fascinated him. Mary and Suzy he dismissed immediately as sycophants. Mindless supporters of whatever personality currently held Best New Friend status. Even if that personality, Annie, was making no sense whatsoever.

No, that's not quite right.

Looking back over the diary entry, Severus saw that Annie proclaimed herself Best New Friend, however, Miss Tilly actually bestowed that title on Bella. He growled in frustration. He was only hours away from being sent to Azkaban and here he sat trying to decide which imaginary girl was really Miss Tilly's best friend.

What bloody difference does it make? I don't need to know why she tried to kill. I need to know why she died.

Severus flung the diary aside and turned his attention to the autopsy reports Tonks brought him. Empirical evidence. Solid, tangible facts. This was what his mind craved. Observable, measurable, scientific evidence. Not the nonsensical ramblings of a disturbed teenager and her imaginary friends.

Her death was a result of a sudden and complete failure of every system in her body. It happened immediately after he cast the Petrificus Totalus, and she had the partially metabolized remains of a potion in her body.

Hellebore.

Severus steepled his hands, deep in thought. How very odd it was that Hellebore, the essence of which was the main component of the Draft of Peace, would be found in the system of a person killed in the act of attempting to commit murder. It didn't make sense.

Did she take the potion herself, he wondered, or did someone give it to her?

Hellebore was a difficult ingredient to work with. Miss Tilly did not possess the skill to brew a potion with it. Only a few people in the castle did: himself, Albus, perhaps Minerva …and Hermione.

Severus shook his head and cleared it of his uncomfortable suspicions. It didn't matter anyway. The potion couldn't have played a part in her death. No one ever died from ingesting a Draft of Peace. He resigned him self to the fact that his answers were not to be found in the autopsy report. Albus wouldn't have given him the diary unless it had his answers. He picked it up once again and continued to read.

March 30th

Bella is gone. She left without even saying goodbye.

This isn't like when Annie leaves. Annie leaves all the time. She gets angry if anyone disagrees with her, makes a big dramatic announcement, and then doesn't talk to anyone until Mary and Suzy tell her how great she is and beg her to stay. But Bella didn't do that. She just left.

I think it's because she didn't like what Annie wanted to do about the secrets. Mr. Ely has a big secret. Professor Lupin came in the other day and talked real quiet to Mr. Ely. Professor Lupin even gave him a whole bag full of galleons but he didn't leave with any owls. Mr. Ely locked himself up in the backest back room all day and no one was allowed to bother him. He was doing something secret.

Professor Lupin came back the next day just before closing time and talked to Mr. Ely real quiet. When he left, he took two owls with him.

Anyway, Annie wanted to sneak down to the Owlery and look around to find out what Mr. Ely's secret was. Bella said no. She said that the Mr. Ely was a friend and that friends don't spy to find secrets. Annie said that the Ely's, especially Mrs. Ely, were not our friends. Mary and Suzy said that that rule only counts for boyfriends anyway.

Bella said they were all wrong and there was a big fight. Annie was very mean to Bella. She told her that she was stupid. Annie thinks she's a big expert in everything. Now Bella is gone and Annie is going to find out what Mr. Ely's big secret with Professor Lupin is, and there isn't anything I can do about it.

Lupin…the invisible owls…the Order…the Easter holidays…

It ate at Severus. There was something -- a detail just outside the reach of his memory -- that connected these things to Miss Tilly and her death. A detail that seemed insignificant at the time. Unimportant. The only reason he paid any heed at all was because…because…

Lupin fucked up.

Yes! That was it. The ever wise and perfect Lupin really screwed the pooch. He did something wrong with the owls and a mission was delayed for two days as a result. But what?

Severus paced the room and in his mind's eye he replayed the entire meeting. Called to order -- announcement of the delay -- explanations demanded -- distraught apology from Lupin -- Lupin reassured that it wasn't that bad. It could have happened to anyone -- promises from Lupin that replacement owls would be ready shortly and that he wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

I'm missing something here. Miss Tilly…Lupin…the owls. What am I missing? The Order had two invisible owls; Lupin did something stupid, something that clearly distressed him, and two replacement owls were needed. Replacement owls. The Order needed to replace the invisible owls because…

Severus stopped breathing and his eyes went wide with the sudden realization of what Lupin could have done. Perhaps the werewolf had accidentally injured or killed the owls. That had to be it. Only something like that would have shaken Lupin's composure so badly. Lupin was skilled in the care of animals and not prone to fits of temper. What ever he did to those owls was either incredibly stupid or should not have hurt them. Just as the Petrificus Totalus should not have killed Miss Tilly. He had to speak to Lupin.

Severus glanced at the clock. Lupin has assured him he would be back within the hour, and an hour and a half had already passed. Damn it! Where was he? Severus hoped against all hope that Remus would return with the answers he needed before Tonks arrived to take him to Azkaban.